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It’s June, the traditional month for weddings, and after weddings come honeymoons, “thank you” notes, and at least for some people, name changes. Ms. Jane Independent may become Mrs. Jane United, or even Mrs. Jane Independent-United.

Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

By the rules of etiquette, Mrs. Her-First-Name is only used for widows; instead, women were supposed to be Mrs. His-First-Name His-Last-Name, subsuming her entire identity under his.

Personally, Paper Doll does not think that is cool at all and is glad this has fallen out of fashion. Then again, Paper Doll can’t imagine ever changing my last name to that of any fella, no matter how much he resembles George Clooney, and certainly not making any part of my name disappear until my beloved has shuffled off this mortal coil.

But I digress.

WHY DO PEOPLE CHANGE THEIR NAMES?

The point is that people change their legal names for many reasons:

• Women, when marrying, often take their new spouse’s last name. They also may append the new name to their old name, with or without hyphens. This ensures that at least part of her name matches her spouse’s name, and if they have children, it creates a new, cohesive family identity.
• Men, when marrying, can also take their spouse’s names in place of their own, but this is still uncommon. However, men changing to a mutually-hyphenated last name such that Spouse Onename and Spouse Othername jointly take the surname Onename-Othername, is becoming more common. Some couples invent new last names altogether.
• Women, when divorcing (and, given the above name change experience, men) often change their names. Many revert to what is colloquially called their “maiden” names. (Birth name, or family name of origin sounds a little more 21st-century, eh?) However, a colleague of mine disliked her family name of origin and rather than returning to it after divorcing, chose a completely new last name. 
• Minors may get name changes when one parent remarries, thereby creating a cohesive family identity; this may or may not be related to an actual legal adoption by the step-parent.
• Victims/Survivors of domestic violence and/or stalking may change their names to escape danger. 
• Some people change their names to conform to their gender identity. The Olympian formerly known as Bruce Jenner is Caitlyn Jenner. The film performer Ellen Page is Elliot Page. (Note: referring to a person by a name with which they do not identify is called “deadnaming” and it’s unkind. Please don’t do that.)
• People change their first or last names because they just don’t like them.

Hippie Baby Boomers born to Silent Generation and Greatest Generation parents changed their names from Ethel and Norman to trippy ones like Energy and Nomad. Kids born to hippie Boomer parents changed Moonbeam to Madison or Space to Spencer. Some parents give their kids names that are so awful, they demand change. And, of course, some folks just want to separate from past connections (e.g., bad parents, bad exes, bad decisions, etc.) and change their full names.

• Celebrities may legally change their names when they get married while continuing to perform under their prior names, giving them some separation between public and private identities. 

Studio publicity still, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Given that Elizabeth Taylor was married eight times to seven men, it would have been very confusing if her credits had changed after each honeymoon! And I’m dubious that Elizabeth Taylor Rosemond Hilton Wilding Todd Fisher Burton Burton Warner Fortensky would have fit on a marquee.

Cherilyn Sarkisian La Piere Bono Allman had her birth father’s name, her step-father’s name, her first and second husbands names, but in 1978 she opted to simplify things and do the paperwork one last time — and since then has been known as Cher. Perhaps if she “could turn back time,” Cher would have changed her name earlier?

Jennifer Lopez dated Ben Affleck. Later, Jennifer Garner married Ben Affleck and legally became Jennifer Affleck. And then Jennifer Lopez married Ben Affleck, and she legally became Jennifer Affleck. Meanwhile, everyone still knows Jennifer Lopez as J.Lo and Jennifer Garner as America’s Sweetheart. Yet somehow, only Ben Affleck didn’t have to worry about re-monigramming his stationery!

• People in the Witness Protection program get their names and entire identities scrubbed. Whether they are bad guys getting off easy or good guy whistleblowers or just unfortunate witnesses, people in WitSec have one advantage. The government does the paperwork for them!

WHAT KINDS OF NAME CHANGES ARE ALLOWED?

For your signature block in your work email or for friends to mail you birthday cards or to give the Starbucks barista your name, you can give your birth name, your married name, your non-de-plume, or your nickname. (Actually, in the case of Starbucks, it doesn’t matter; they’ll either get it wrong or make up a name for you.)

GoToVan from Vancouver, Canada, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Do you have to change your name legally? In some states, just using your new name makes it legal (enough), as long as you don’t have much in the way of financial dealings or international travel or a desire to make people and organizations refer to you by your preferred name. And if you’re newly married, your marriage license might suffice.

However, when you’re struggling with identity theft, traveling internationally, or dealing with legal or financial matters, you must be able to prove that you’re really you with valid ID: Social Security cards, birth certificates, passports, etc. And for those to be kosher, you definitely need your name change to be legal.

First, know there are rules about when you can’t change your name.

• Your name change can’t be for a fraudulent purpose or to commit a crime. If you’re on the lam or trying to avoid paying your debts to Big Eddie (or, y’know, Wells Fargo), you can’t legally change your name. You also can’t do it to escape financial or criminal liabilities, or civil litigation.
• You can’t take celebrities’ names in order to profit off of their identities.
• If you’ve been convicted of certain types of felonies (in some jurisdictions), you can’t change your name to avoid public scrutiny or requirements to register as a sex offender. 

Next, there are rules about what you can change your name to be. Other than Roman numerals following your name — Thurston Howell III is OK — you can’t change to a name with a numeral in it.

Of course, each state has its own regulations. In 1977, the North Dakota Supreme Court refused to allow Michael Herbert Dengler to change his name to 1069 (pronounced as “one zero six nine”, lest you think he intended something unsavory), so he moved to Minneapolis. The Minnesota Supreme Court was similarly dubious, but ruled that “Ten Sixty-Nine” would be allowable. 

You can’t change your name to a symbol. Yes, I know about Prince. But, number one, he didn’t actually change his name legally. Number two, you are not Prince. 

You also can’t change your name to something that is generally offensive. No racial epithets or slurs, no hate speech, and usually no potty-mouth words (though judges usually have some latitude with regard to that last one).

WHAT’S THE LEGAL PROCESS FOR CHANGING YOUR NAME?

Legally changing your name requires paperwork and patience. Be prepared to locate your essential documents (check out How to Replace and Organize 7 Essential Government Documents to get started) fill out forms (by hand and online), jump through investigative hoops, and then use new identifying documentation to get other identifying documentation.

You’ll also need to tell everyone you know about the change. In the pre-COVID era, the process might take six to twelve; however, courts are still so backed up that in some municipalities, it’s taking much longer.

Name Change By Court Order

Gavel: Creative Commons/U.S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Aspen Reid/af.mil

If you’re changing your name for any reason other than a revised marital status, you’ll have to get a court order to do so. (Changing your name because of marriage or the dissolution of one has a separate procedure — of which, more later.) 

In general, this process requires a combination of the following procedures, depending on where you live:

File a petition with the court — This involves completing paperwork which will be called some variation on the title Petition for a Name Change. Different jurisdictions have different regulations — you might have to address a civil, probate, or superior court. The petition explains the name to which you wish to change and the reason for the change.

Submit a filing fee. The filing fees in the United States vary by state, and sometimes county, and range from a low of $25 in Alabama to a high of $435 in California. (Some states have waivers for people in dire financial circumstances, so be sure to ask.)

Submit a form for a Court Order Granting Change of Name for the judge to sign.

Publish a notice of petition to the public. In general, when you change your name, you have to announce the intended name change in a number of newspapers in your community. Most commonly, you can publish these in the classified sections of “penny saver” newspapers to save money. Usually, the notice must be published multiple times over successive weeks.

Note that victims/survivors of domestic violence or sexual assault may request to have the publication element waived. Similarly, some states (including California, Colorado, Maine, and Nevada) eliminate publication requirements for name changes done to align with gender identity. Obviously, individuals in witness protection do not have to publish their notice of petition.

Once you receive an affidavit that the ad(s) have been published, submit this to the court with the other forms. (I must admit that I’m sometimes surprised that putting a notice on your Facebook or Instagram account isn’t considered adequate for this purpose. I can’t imagine anyone but private detectives and bounty hunters reading the classified of these papers that most people let moulder on their front lawns.)

Special circumstances

Fingerprint image by ar130405 from Pixabay 

In addition to the above, you may also have to:

• File a legal backer form, authorizing notification of creditors re: name change. 
• Undergo an FBI background check (for which you will pay a fee) if you live in Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, South Carolina, or Texas. Depending on the court you petition, a judge may require a background check in California or Maine.  
• Have your fingerprints taken if you live in Alabama, Colorado, Maine, North Carolina, and Texas. And yes, there are additional costs.
• Acquire an Affidavit of Consent, if required in your area. If you’re changing a minor child’s name to match the name of a new step-parent and newly-married parent, irrespective of whether the new step-parent will legally adopt the minor, you’ll need an affidavit of consent.
• Send an Affidavit of Service of Notification to appropriate authorities if you are classified as an alien resident, a former convicted person, or an attorney. (How’s that for a strange combo platter?)

Next steps for your court order

Got all those essential forms signed and notarized by the court clerk in your jurisdiction? Scan and/or make copies and put them in a safe place (like a fireproof safe or safe deposit box) and submit the originals for approval.

You may have to attend a court hearing to defend your reason for changing your name if a creditor, ex, or busybody sees the publication of your notice and objects to the name change.

If the court approves your petition, you’ll get a court order called an Order Granting Change of Name which serves as legal proof of your name change. You’ll need this document, and usually your original birth certificate or proof of prior name, in order to make lots of other changes.

Important note: In some states, people seeking a name change due to domestic violence have the right to have their records sealed. If this is your situation, please confer with an attorney or a domestic violence agency to obtain information and assistance regarding your state’s regulations.

Name Change By Marriage (or Divorce)

Mazel tov on getting married! (Condolences…or mazel tov, depending on your feelings, if you’re getting divorced.)

Getting married doesn’t, per se, legally change one’s name, though the process is smoother than seeking a court order.

Do, however, decide in advance what you want your name to be. If your marriage license says FirstName Oldname Lastname but you intend to live as First Name Oldname (hyphen) Lastname, you’re going to have to get the license right before you can move forward.

(Honeymoon travel warning: the TSA takes name-matching seriously. If your ticket says Mrs. Madison Newname and your passport or driver’s license says Ms. Maddie Oldname, you’re at the mercy of the TSA. Don’t imagine you can roll up to Security with your the-ink-is-barely-dry marriage license, an embossed invitation, and catering bill and expect to make the flight. Book honeymoon travel under your pre-marriage name and leave the name change paperwork for when you get back.) 

If you’ve divorced, your divorce degree should serve the same purpose as a certified marriage license; be sure the divorce decree covers it if you intend to revert to the name you went by prior to your marriage. (If you decide to give up your married name after the divorce is final, petition the court for an amendment to the divorce decree.)

Name Change to Match Your Gender Identity

For people who are trans, the process involves a getting a legal name by court order, but it’s not quite as simple as described above. It’s also necessary (and sometimes complicated) to change one’s gender marker, the official designation of gender on certain state and federal documents (like driver’s licenses and passports).

Gender markers may be “male,” “female,” or “X” (for non-binary), though only Oregon allows you to petition for a change of gender marker at the time of your name change, and not all states allow a marker change. However, the federal government now recognizes X and you can change the gender marker on your passport; later in 2023, it can be changed on other documents. 

Changing a gender marker may or may not require changing your name legally. Seven states and two territories require proof of surgery, court order, or altered birth certificate to change gender marker on driver’s licenses, while fourteen states require proof of surgery or a court order to change the designation on a birth certificate. And four states (Montana, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and West Virginia) don’t allow amending gender markers on official documents. 

This can get complex, so check with your state and review the incredibly-detailed PDF Identification Documents and Transgender People: An Overview of the Name and Gender Marker Change Process in the United States for guidance. 

WHAT TO DO ONCE YOUR NEW NAME IS OFFICIAL

Once you’ve legally changed your name, there’s still more paperwork to be done — and before you can start,  you’ll have to make sure you’ve got your (paper)ducks in a row.

• If you got married, obtain official (certified) copies of your marriage license. (You’ll know they’re official if they’ve got raised “bumpy” seals.) Request them from the municipal office where you registered and filed for your marriage license (that is, where you got married, not necessarily where you live). You’ll get one official copy as part of your licensing fee, but you’ll have to pay for extras.

• If you filed with the court for a name change (or got divorced), obtain certified copies of the court order or divorce decree.

• Whatever your reason for changing your name, the next steps will require proof of your former name, so before you get started, make sure you have official copies of your birth certificate, too. 

Start with Uncle Sam

Social Security Card — Contact the Social Security Administration at 800-772-1213 or go into a local office; just don’t fall for any emails or junk mail promising to get you a new card for a fee. The Social Security Administration doesn’t charge for new cards due to name charges. (Heck, you get 10 free replacement cards in a lifetime!)

Follow the prompts and the automated system will walk you through the steps for filling out an SS-5 and getting a new card. Alternatively, you can follow the instructions on the Social Security Administration’s web site. Fill out the application and provide official copies of documents proving your legal name change, your identity, and either your U.S. citizenship or immigration status. (You can also change your gender marker.)

*Note: If you immediately move to a new state after getting married or securing a court-ordered name change, the Patriot Act requires that you change the name on your Social Security card before you acquire a new driver’s license.

Passport — The U.S. Department of State has different requirements for issuing passports reflecting name changes, depending on whether one’s last passport was issued within the last year or earlier, and whether you have documentation to prove (via marriage license or court order) your name change. Review the linked page and follow the steps to determine if you can submit your documentation by mail or must apply in person, and whether there are fees associated with your situation.

Now handle state and local documents

Driver’s License — Each state has different regulations regarding how quickly you have to change your name on your license. South Carolina and Wyoming expect you to change your driver’s license to reflect your new name within ten days of your wedding, which might put a crimp in a two-week honeymoon.

Other states have similar, though less urgent, deadlines. Apparently, you can double or halve your weight, dye your hair purple, switch to blue contact lenses, or grow a beard, and their are no requirements to contact the DMV, but if you use your new name, the DMVs of the USA get uniformly cranky! Call or check your state’s web site for regulations, make an appointment (vs. attempting a walk-in), and bring certified copies of your marriage license, divorce decree, or court order.

Voter Registration Card — Contact your board of elections or pick up a voter registration form at your public library or Department of Motor Vehicles. Alternatively, visit National Mail Voter Registration Form to report a change of name on your voter registration. (Note, New Hampshire, North Dakota, and Wyoming do not participate.)

Tell Everyone Else

With the government out of the way, notify everyone else. There’s less urgency to this, especially as “officialdom” wanes; I’ve arrange the list below in declining order of importance and urgency. 

To save time filling out forms, you might want to consider acquiring a uniform name change form, such as Nolo’s Declaration of Legal Name Change. (It’s currently free.) Then notify:

• The US Post Office — This isn’t legally required, but you’ll be getting mail in your old name and new name for a while, so make sure your mailbox label lists both or that your post office knows about the new identity. (Don’t assume that your postal carrier pays attention.)
• Insurance companies — Update your health insurance policy and cards first, then automobile, renters/homeowners, etc.
• Human Resources and/or Payroll at your place of employment.
• Banks — Order checks and deposit slips bearing your new name.
• Brokerage houses where you hold investment or retirement accounts. If you’re listed as a beneficiary on someone else’s accounts, encourage them to update their records.
• Credit card companies 
• Utilities and other essential services
• Other companies with which you have accounts, particular those you pay or which pay you 
• State or other licensing agencies for operation/ownership of firearms, boats, planes
• Internal Revenue Service and your state and local tax authorities
• Veteran’s Administration, if applicable
• Offices of public assistance, like SNAP
• Professional licensing or certification organizations
• Friends and associates (so they know how to address you)
• Doctors, dentists, therapists and other health professionals
• College alumni associations
• Clubs, gyms, and other memberships

Contact your attorney about updating your estate documents with your new name. This may include wills, health care proxies, mortgages, leases, trusts, Power of Attorney documents, etc. See How to Create, Organize, and Safeguard 5 Essential Legal and Estate Documents and The Professor and Mary Ann: 8 Other Essential Documents You Need To Create to get started.

Check your credit report at AnnualCreditReport.com to make sure nobody has fraudulently opened accounts in your old name.

If the thought of doing this all on your own gives you a headache and writer’s cramp, help is available. Many professional organizers who specialize in paper management (like me!) will sit by your side and walk you through filling out paperwork. You can also avail yourself of specialized services:

• Newly Named
• Hitch Switch
• MissNowMrs
• Legal Zoom Name Change Service
• National Center for Transgender Equality ID Documents Overview
• TransSocial Name and Gender Marker Change Assistance
• Transgender Map Legal Name Change Guide

Disclaimers

Note to Canadian readers: The process in Canada varies by province, but appears to be similar (with the exception of there being no publication requirements); there are special circumstances for reclaiming an indigenous name. Please confer with legal experts in your province.

Paper Doll reminds readers that I am not a lawyer and nothing in this post should be taken as legal advice.