Best Results Organizing

Chances are good that you’ve got three things on your mind right now: shopping for holiday presents, trying to keep your shopping and your budget organized in this most expensive of months, and dealing with the fact that — holy canoli! — the year is almost over! Paper Doll can’t stop time, but I’ve got some ideas for the first two.

EASY-TO-BUY EXPERIENTIAL HOLIDAY GIFTS

Almost every year since I began writing this blog, I’ve sung the praises of experiential gifts rather than tangible ones. The social-psychological research is sound — experiential gifts are both more memorable and more satisfying.

Memorable

With rare exceptions of special surprises and greatly anticipated gifts, we tend not to remember the tangible stuff we get. (This also means we often don’t remember the gifts we’ve bestowed on others; my organizing clients and I have discussed how we’ve received quite a few “repeats” from well-intioned loved ones.)

Tangible gifts rarely take us out of the way we live; they fit into the lives we already lead. We may be changing what we’re wearing or how we’re cooking or what we’re playing with because the new gift varies the activity (as an accessory), but experiential gifts are uniquely different from how we spend our everyday lives. Participating in an experience changes our cognitive and physical lives in a few ways.

Part of the fun is anticipatory. When we get a tangible gift, we unwrap it and then…what? Maybe we’ll use it, maybe we’ll put it away until we think of wearing it or using it (or attempt reading the manual to learn how to use it). But when we get a gift of an experience, from the time we receive the gift card or certificate or gift announcement, we begin anticipating everything it involves. We research and get a sense of what might happen. Our imaginations take the gift we receive and add flourishes to what has been given to us.

Give someone a gift that allows them the excitement of anticipating the experience on top of the experience itself and it will be a gift that delights on the holiday, during the intervening period until the experience, and then later in retrospect in the relived and shared memories of the experience. Whoohoo! Now compare that to a sweater or a gadget (if your recipient hasn’t specifically asked for a sweater or that gadget) and you can see how an experiential gift is more nuanced and layered.

Uniquely Satisfying

Experiential gifts are unique. Human beings are social animals and even when we don’t intend to be, we are competitive. We log onto social media, see what our co-workers or our exes’ new partners got for gifts and we compare. Even if we loved our gifts before we logged on, if they got a fancier upgrade or a snootier brand, our holiday cheer is just a bit tarnished. Even if our tangible thing is somewhat superior, the excitement doesn’t last. 

However, we don’t compare experiences in the same way. Even if we both went to the same escape room or to Las Vegas or on a cruise, the variables — who we’re with, the weather, our moods, etc. — are going to be so different that there’s no valid comparison. Our experiences are unique to us.

Reviewing Experiential Gifts

Over the years, I’ve collected so many examples of experiential gifts in each category that in 2022 I had to split my traditional post into two (also enormous) posts. I’ve checked (and, where necessary, updated) the links, so rather than give you all the options over again, I’ll just point you to the general categories you can find in those two posts (with a teeny bit of commentary).

Paper Doll’s Ultimate Guide to Clutter-Free Experiential Gifts: Educational

This set of experiential gifts included a wide variety of classes and lessons, including:

• Learn by doing (like music lessons, performance classes like singing or dancing, physical fitness training, horseback riding, language learning and practice, cooking, and food and wine tours). I’m still engrossed in my learning of Italian, having hit 1975 days straight in practicing.

My colleague Maria White of Enuff With The Stuff in Reston, Virginia asked me on social media, “How does it feel to be in the 1% class?” and I replied, honestly, that “I feel like the smartest 56-year-old in a class of preschoolers.”

I may never learn the future conditional tense well enough to respond aloud quickly, but I can suss out a good smattering of what’s written on the web site for L’Associazione Professional Organizers Italia, aka: The Italian Association of Professional Organizers. Grazie mille, Duolingo!

• Learn for the delight of knowledge — This covered educational opportunities for those on your list who miss school and are charmed by an online academic setting. I loved the Jane Austen class I was gifted from The Great Courses a few years ago, and I’d be delighted if I got a Master Class subscription so I could take James Clear’s just-added Small Habits class. 

Paper Doll’s Ultimate Guide to Clutter-Free Experiential Gifts: Adventure, Practicality & Pampering

• Gifts of adventure — Whether your (or your giftee’s) idea of adventure is physical exertion in the great outdoors (of which Paper Doll is not exactly a fan), indoor physical adventures that guarantee you won’t get eaten by wolves (like axe-throwing or trampolining) or something more physically sedate but intellectually adventurous (like an escape room), there are options galore.
• Gifts of practicality — Don’t pooh-pooh practical gifts as ho-hum. Obviously, you have to know your recipient. (For example, gifting Paper Mommy a new spring and mattress for her 40th birthday was not one of my father’s wisest moves.) Giving gifts of home care or car care, or coverage of monthly costs (like internet, cable, streaming, digital backup, or video conferencing) can be a boon that lets your recipients spend their (possibly limited) money on ideal needs and wants. 

(For what it’s worth, I am a longtime user of Backblaze‘s backup services, and just got an email saying that if you sign up via my Backblaze referral link between December 15, 2023 and January 31, 2024, you get a free trial month. (It’s usually two weeks.) That’s kind of like a gift for all you readers. Disclaimer: If you end up buying Backblaze services, I’ll get a free month, too!)

• Gifts of pampering — Modern life is hard. Everyone deserves gifts that make it (or skin or hair) a little softer. The people most in need of pampering are often the least likely to splurge on themselves.
• Gifts of organization — No clutter-free gift advice can go forward without suggesting the services of a professional organizer, whether in-person or virtually. Again, know your recipient if this isn’t something that’s been requested. The magic of a professional organizer’s services is likely to be an appreciated unasked-for gift for a parents-to-be who want to set up a nursery or pals wanting to support a friend setting up a productive office for a new home-based business. The services of a professional organizer as a “gift” from a parent-in-law who tends to harp on the tidiness of adult child’s partner may not be seen in the same light.

So, click on those two Paper Doll posts above and I bet you’ll find perfect clutter-free presents for the harder-to-buy-for folks on your list. 

One more advantage of buying these kinds of clutter free gifts? They’re quick and easy to purchase. In almost every case, you can buy these gifts online. In the rare case where a venue requires a purchase in-person, it’s still easier than wending your way through a big box store; whether it’s a salon, store, or event venue, you can generally go to a desk right inside the front door to purchase gift certificates.

MAKE A (SMALL) MOUNTAIN OF MONEY OUT OF A SERIES OF (GIFT CARD) MOLEHILLS

Do you cringe when you think about giving gift cards? Do leftover gift card balances annoy you?

Get Over Feeling that Gift Cards Are Too Generic

Some people hate gift cards because they’re “generic,” as if a gift card that allows someone to get what they like (or love) is more generic than a random picture frame or candle for a recipient who has shown no interest in such things.

Personally, I think gift cards are fabulous because they are less crass than cash.

As an aside, I have no idea why we in Western society consider giving cash as crass for anyone except adorable octogenarian grandparents. Grandmas gift crisp currency to their grandchildren and we grin at the quaintness. I just worked with a client in his 60s, and in a box of clutter we found a birthday card from his mother containing a crisp bill bearing the likeness of Benjamin Franklin!

Lots of people would love to have a little extra cash at the holidays, when they’ve scrambled to purchase gifts for others, especially versus an ill-fitting gift they can’t return. 

A nice alternative, when you truly don’t know what someone wants is a gift card that gives someone an opportunity to get exactly what they want. A teenager or college student is probably going to prefer an Apple or Amazon gift card to one for a clothing store that doesn’t sell the style of clothing they and their friends wear. And failing that, gift cards can be re-gifted.

If you know someone whom you fear may not have the funds to fully experience a gift you’d like to give, you can pair a gift with a gift card. For example, perhaps you know someone who’d appreciate a popular new cookbook but might not be able to buy all the special groceries.

One of the most popular (and most highly rated) cookbooks right now is Baking Yesterday: The Best Recipes from the 1900s to the 1980s, based on B. Dylan Hollis’ TikTok account, where he prepares random dishes from the last century, like Depression-era Peanut Butter Bread or 1950s Tomato Soup Cake. His videos are hysterical, and the recipes can be intriguing.

But have you been to the grocery store lately? The average recent college grad probably has a food budget one step up from packets of ramen noodles. Without the funds to make the recipes, this cookbook would just be clutter.

Show your fave wanna-be chefs that you know what’s trendy without bumming them out over their budgets. Pair the cookbook with a gift card for a grocery store near them.

Almost all grocery chains and many local supermarkets offer gift cards, and you can pick them up conveniently when you’re buying you’re own groceries, or purchase them online. If you don’t know which grocery story best serves them, try a gift card for a delivery service like Instacart or Shipt, which covers the cost of the food and store-to-door service.

If your recipient has such a busy life that getting out to buy groceries, let alone having time to prepare and cook meals, is a non-starter, try gift cards for Door Dash or GrubHub. (You can even buy gift cards for these services on Amazon!)

How to Solve the Tiny Denomination Gift Card Conundrum

The one problem with gift cards (for the recipient) is when someone has received a generic cash-like gift card, such as a Visa/Mastercard/American Express gift card. It’s nice to have a gift that can be spent anywhere, but it’s awkward when you have a gift card (or many) with teeny balances. Imagine going to a store, with oodles of people behind you in line, and saying, “I’d like to pay with these seven Visa gift cards, which have balances ranging from $1.43 to $5.87.”

Recently, I received a payout from a class action lawsuit. Usually, the class action funds are sent as small check that you would have felt embarrassed to hand to a bank teller. Nowadays, everyone makes deposits via their phones or at ATMs, sparing us the indignity of having to summon a challenging stare at the teller, telepathically communicating: “Yes, I am going to deposit this check that will barely cover the cost of a soft drink! What of it?!” 

This class action check came in the form of a digital code to get a MasterCard e-gift card. In the process of registering, I was given the option to applying the card to my Apple Wallet on my iPhone. I’ve never actually used my Apple Wallet in-person, but figured I could use the e-gift card to pay toward my tiny monthly Apple card expenses (for iCloud and Apple TV).

But guess what? You can’t pay your Apple Card from a gift card in your wallet unless you’re spending at least $10, and the class action money was less than that! 

How could I spend that teeny bit of class action money? How could my clients get those minuscule amounts off of their Visa gift cards? How can we stop cluttering wallets (digital and tangible) and drawers with mostly-used Visa/MasterCard/AmEx gift cards?

I’m delighted to tell you that I’ve got a solution I hope you’ll share with others. Did you know that you can purchase Amazon e-gift cards in any denomination from one dollar upward? The process takes a multiple (tiny) steps, but is easy to accomplish.

1) Log into your Amazon account.

2) Go to the Amazon gift card page or type “Amazon gift cards” into the search box.

3) Select the option for Amazon.com eGift Card $1.00 – $2,000. (For me, it’s usually the second option. It looks like this:

4) On the next page, make a few selections:

• First, it will ask you for what kind of design you want. You’re buying this for yourself, basically just trading gift card credit for Amazon credit, so skip this step and it’ll just apply the default Amazon design.
• On the amount line, fill in the value on the far right, where it says “$ Enter Amount.”
• Fill in the rest such that you’re sending the “gift” from yourself to yourself. It will automatically fill in your name in the “from” section.
• Click “Add to Cart.”

5) Proceed to the checkout page.

• When you go to pay for the gift card, it will ask you to verify the recipient. (Again, it’s you.)
• Then, it will ask you what method you want to use to pay, just as it normally does when you make an Amazon card purchase. This is where you get to “spend” your random Visa/MasterCard/AmEx gift card money. You do this by ADDING the gift card to your Amazon wallet.
• You probably have one or more credit or debit cards and checking accounts listed in this section. Down at the bottom of the “Your Credit and Debit Cards” section, you’ll see where it says, “Add a credit or debit card>Amazon accepts all major credit cards“ — click on it.
• Add the information on the Visa, MasterCard, or AmEx gift card you’re getting rid of. Fill in the number, the security code, and any other information it requests, just as you do when you enter or update credit card information in your Amazon account.
• Once Amazon accepts this as a payment amount, you’re done with the hardest part.

6) Complete your purchase of the Amazon e-gift card as if you were making any other purchase.

7) Wait a few minutes and then check your email. You’ll have received an email telling you that your purchase went through. Hurray! Then you’ll get another email — surprise! — telling you that someone has sent you a gift card. 

8) Follow the steps in the email to add the new Amazon eGift Card to your Amazon balance. Usually, you’ll just just have to click a redemption link it’ll be done, but you may have to paste a code from the email into the resulting Amazon page.

• If you never run an Amazon gift card balance, know that the next time you make a purchase, this little amount will be automatically applied and used up, with the remainder charged to your preferred card.
• If, like me, you tend to have lots of random Amazon credit (due to gifts, survey rewards, returns, etc.), this will just increase the total amount of your Amazon balance, which you can always check by going to the Accounts tab when you’re logged in to Amazon and clicking on the Gift Card button. You’ll see your gift card (i.e., account) balance as well as a history of gift card transactions.

Once you’ve done it once or twice, you’ll get the whole process down to about two minutes, not counting waiting for the “Hey, someone sent you an Amazon gift card!” email. 

After you’ve completed all of this, and you’ll also get an email telling you that your recipient (again, you!!!) received the gift.

Bonus Tip: How To Delete an Amazon Payment Method

I’ve had clients complain that although they love being able to get rid of dribs and drabs left on generic gift cards using this method, it tends to fill up their Amazon Payments Method section with a mess of random cards that are no longer usable. And it’s not obvious how to remove unnecessary payment methods.

I’ve got a solution for that, too!

If your Amazon Payments Method section is too crowded, you can delete any generic gift carsd you used (to buy the Amazon card): 

• Log into your Amazon account.
• Click on Account from the Account & Lists tab dropdown.
• Select the “Your Payments” button.
• You’ll see your Amazon Wallet with all of your payment methods, both the “real” ones you use with your actual debit and credit cards, and whatever random debit or credit card balances you’ve cashed in for Amazon credit.
• For any item you want to delete, click on the card in the column on the far left.
• A graphic of a card will pop up in the center of the page. Click on “Edit.”
• On the resulting screen, you’ll be able to edit the details of the card (name, expiration date, billing address, etc.) or delete it altogether. Click the red “remove from wallet” at the bottom of the pop-up.

You can use this method to get rid of the one-off cards or update any of your regular credit or debit cards, making your Amazon Wallet more organized.

Happy holiday shopping, and please feel free to share these gift card tips with anyone who suffers from a mountain of gift card clutter.

Last week, in Paper Doll’s Ultimate Guide to Clutter-Free Experiential Gifts: Educational, we began our look at the importance of giving gifts that are experiential rather than tangible. As a reminder, experiences are not only more memorable, but unlike gadgets or clothing, they feel unique to us. As such, gifts of experience make us feel unique, as well.

In a recent Vox article, How To Become a Truly Excellent Gift Giver, the author turned to experts in the field of the art of gift giving. (I recommend reading it to help you for this holiday season, but for giving gifts in the future.)

Too often, we become fixated on spending too much, or getting the perfect gift to prove we know the recipient well. But in the piece, the author quotes Erica Cerulo, co-host of the podcast A Thing or Two, who suggests asking oneself:

“Can I introduce someone to something they might not otherwise know about? Can I get them a nicer version of something than they would buy for themselves? Or can I make them feel seen?” 

To this, I add, can I give a gift that someone might not think to lavish upon themselves at all? Whether they know of something or not, or whether they’d restrict ourselves to the bare minimum rather than an upgrade, when we gift someone an experience of delight, it says that we see them as deserving of something special and unique — that we see them as unique! What more could someone want?

So, today, we continue with a variety of experiential gifts to charm your holiday recipients.

GIFTS OF ADVENTURE

One person’s adventure is another person’s nightmare, so you do need to know your giftee. My sister once went on a blind date with a guy who leaned across the table and with great gusto pronounced, “Don’t you just love camping?”

No, she did not.

In fact, for my sister, as well as for myself (and Paper Mommy, too), the thought of hanging out with bugs and critters in a locale absent air conditioning and hot-and-cold running water is misery-making. For us, last year’s (COVID-safe) escape room was ideal Thanksgiving adventure. But for others, a few days in one of the 63 National Parks or 2000+ federal recreation sites is an adventure worth dreaming about. Know your person.

So consider what adventurous gifts might appeal to those on your gift list. Here’s a sampler platter of ideas:

• National Parks Pass — Give your recipient the chance to explore America’s natural beauty. An annual parks pass is $80; if this gift is for Grandma, note that annual passes for senior citizens are only $20 (and Lifetime passes are $80)! Purchase through the USGS. Each pass covers entrance fees at national parks and national wildlife refuges, as well as standard amenity fees and day use fees for a driver and all passengers in a personal vehicle at per-vehicle fee areas (or up to four adults at sites that charge per person). Kids age 15 or under are admitted free. 

• An AllTrails+ subscription is another great option for your favorite outdoor adventurer who wants some guidance in picking the best walking, hiking, camping, and riding trails. They can filter for distance from their current location, activity types, difficulty, length, suitability (is it dog/kid/wheelchair-friendly?), and more. For $2.99/month (billed once annually at $35.99), your giftee gets off-route notifications, downloadable maps so they can stay on track even when they’re somewhere without cellular service, real-time map overlays, and a Lifeline service to keep friends and family informed and worry-free.

• Axe-Throwing — For about $20-$25/per person per hour, your recipient can get a heart-pumping physical adventure without having to traipse out into the woods; they can then get dinner afterwards without having to build their own fire. Most places have throwing “lanes” where there’s a target on the wall, and players take turns throwing axes — like bowling except a little more apt to help get out those frustrations! Lest you think I’m making this up, here’s some news coverage about the trend.

• Escape Room — This is more of a gift for two or more people; consider escape room tickets for a couple or a group of housemates. There are always a number of different adventures, and it puts a variety of skills (logic, knowledge of trivia, creativity) to work, so it’s fun for a all types of personalities. Tickets tend to range from $25-$45/person, depending on the activity and location. While escape rooms have been popular for most of the past decade, they (like most venues) saw a downturn in attendance in 2020. You’ll find most now have great COVID-safe rules.
• Batting Cage Rentals — Google “batting cages near me” and you should find a bevy of solutions. Nationwide, D-Bat has memberships which yield discount pricing for batting cage rentals and lessons, but non-members can play too, for a slightly higher price. (Pricing examples; but expect to pay from $12-$30/half-hour rentals, depending on where your giftee lives.)
• Trampoline Parks — A few years ago, I went to a friend’s son’s birthday. When I heard “trampoline,” I was thinking of the kind we had in gym class, with one person jumping and lots of spotters waiting to take a turn. Fun for one, but boring while you wait. However, modern trampoline parks are enormous, with “bouncy” opportunities laid out across the floor. You can usually buy a pass for about ninety minutes or two hours for kids to get their bounce-mode on for upwards of $20, or an all-day pass for $25+. (Some indoor trampoline parks have memberships, like bouncy country clubs, for the young or young at heart.) Get a sense of what it’s like:

• Pre-paid rounds of golf at a public course
• Zipline rides
• Hot-air balloon rides
• A Getaway — literally! Could someone in your life use some time away — from a difficult situation at work or at home, or to finish a meaningful project? A gift certificate for Getaway (in increments from $50-$2K) for a tiny cabin rental for a night or a weekend surrounded by nature might give them the ideal experience to regain equilibrium or achieve that elusive goal. (Want to rent one for yourself? Try this link; it should get you $25 off, and send me some affiliate coin, too.)

• Fantasy sports camp — If you’re looking for a big-ticket adventure for your favorite big kid, fantasy baseball camps abound. Major League Baseball leads in this kind of project; Google your bestie’s favorite team and “fantasy camp” and you’ll see the (pricey) options. But there are other adult sports camps, Nike has sports camps for everything from baseball and basketball to water polo and pickleball, and there are other camp experiences, like for golf and tennis or surfing. 
• Racing Ride-Along — It’s another big-ticket gift, but if you’ve got someone on your list who loves racing, a day at the NASCAR Racing Experience program or Daytona Speedway course would be an experience to remember.
• DriveShare lets you rent a fun-to-drive “classic” car, whether you feel like that means a 1957 Chevy Bel Air, a 1963 Ford Falcon, or a 1981 Delorean. Type in your zip code, search the auto options, and book! Since this takes some advanced planning, consider making a gift certificate and let your recipients pick their own dream car; package it with a toy car.

GIFTS OF PRACTICALITY

On the other end of the spectrum from adventure, we find gifts of experiences that are practical in nature.

Practical gifts don’t have to be boring; but to be winning, they have to be something the giftees can use for an experience that makes their lives easier or better. 

If you save your BFF time she’d otherwise spend on the drudgery of adulting, she’ll have more time to focus on things that really matter to her (whether that’s work or play). Gift your favorite dude something he’d otherwise have to pony up the Benjamins to experience, and he’s got folding funds for fun! 

As with the adventures above, these can really range in price from stocking stuffers to once-in-a-lifetime presents, but with gifts of practicality, you can control the size of your largesse, picking how long an experiential subscription might last, or how many opportunities you’ll buy. So, it’s not only a practical gift for them, but a practical (affordability) consideration for you!

Does your giftee need to drive from here to there? How about gift certificates for:

• Car washes or detailing services — More card wash companies are offering membership services where, in return for a monthly membership, drivers can get their cars washed an unlimited number of times. Many people forgo the expense of getting their cars washed, especially in winter, but regular maintenance includes keeping a car clean; you’ll be saving the money in the long run! (For some busy folks, three quiet minutes in the car wash tunnel might be their only calm moments in the day, so getting to go more often makes this experiential gift good for the car and the care owner!)
• Oil changes — Yet another adulting expense I suspect most grownups resent.
• Annual AAA or other automobile club membership — I’m a huge fan of AAA because you get so much more than a tow when you’re stranded. Yes, your GPS has probably replaced those TripTiks of long ago, but AAA membership yields a variety of other benefits, from bicycle servicing to free travel services to discounted rates for everything from Disney World to local movie tickets. 

Does your gift recipients live in the 21st century?

If so, they’re paying for a lot of services nobody purchased (because nobody had them) 30+ years ago. It’s hard to find gift certificates for these, so consider them as kinds of gifts you could give in the form of cash, earmarked for specific services like:

• Internet Service — Pay for months or a year of service, or buy your favorite gamer an upgrade on the household internet plan so nothing is every sluggish when they’re on the cusp of achieving a big win!
• Cellular Service — Just about everyone has a phone, but not everyone has a plan that lets them do all that they want. If you’ve got a college student on your list who isn’t on a family’s plan, covering the costs for a few months to a year could make all the difference in how they experience keeping in touch with others, stress-free.
• Cable (yes, some people still have cable television!) or Satellite TV
• Streaming Television Services — There are the big guys, like Amazon Prime, Netflix, Hulu, AppleTV+, Paramount+, Disney+, or HBOMax. But you might want to give a year of a specialty service like BritBox or Acorn (for the Anglophiles), ESPN+ or Fubo (for sports fans), Fearless (for friends who care about stories about inclusivity, whether for LGBTQ+, women, BIPOC, or disability communities), Univision Now (for Spanish-language content), PBS Passport or Criterion Channel (for the classy stuff)…and so many others. For more ideas, check out Consumer Reports’ recent Guide to Streaming Video Services.
• Streaming Music/Audio Services — Video gets all of the attention, but from a Spotify Premium gift card to Apple Music to SiriusXM Satellite Radio (which you can listen to online as well as in the car), nothing improves your humdrum life experiences (commuting in the car or by public transportation, doing housework, waiting on hold) like listening to something fun.

Do they lead a digital life?

If the people on your gift list do literally anything with computers, tablets, or phones, there are so many practical options to make the experience of being in the digital realm less costly or stressful. Consider purchasing a year (or at least several months) of the following:

• Computer (and device) backup services — I’m a fan of Backblaze (and if you buy through my link, we will both get a free month) but iCloud, Carbonite, iDrive, and LiveDrive are all popular. Not convinced that backup services make for a sexy gift? Read through Paper Doll’s Ultimate Stress-Free Backup Plan and then imagine how your giftees might feel if all their photos or assignments or drafts of their novel went kablooie. (I have it on good authority that Kablooie is the technical term.)
• Digital password managers — Again, this is another one of those “if you know, you know” kinds of gifts. From LastPass to Roboform to 1 Password to Dashlane, digital password managers do so much more than just remember passwords. They help you create secure login credentials, safekeep important documents, and allow you to grant access to your important information to someone (like the person with your Power of Attorney) when you need them to handle your affairs. (Read more at How to Create, Organize, and Safeguard 5 Essential Legal and Estate Documents, if you’re not sure why that might come up.)

• Evernote — As an Evernote Certified Expert, I’d be remiss if I didn’t suggest that you gift a year’s worth of upgraded services to someone you know would benefit. (If your person uses Microsoft OneNote, Bear, Notion, or SimpleNote, that’s also a valid experience help get their thoughts and plans organized.) And while you can’t buy a gift certificate from Evernote for coaching/training, you can offer gift your loved one the services of an Evernote Certified Expert.
• Software Services & Apps — How are these experiences, you wonder? If you’ve got a writer in your life, Grammarly Premium or Pro Writing Aid can improve the quality of their writing, while Scrivener goes one step further to give them the ability to organize their research and their writing, and then format it for publication. Need a gift for someone visually creative? Canva Pro will give your special person some premium features to create and design like a pro, whether for a Science Club flyer or small business web site. And, of course, if your loved ones have a favorite app, a year’s membership or an upgrade is the cherry on the sundae for showing them you’ve been paying attention to the experiences that matter to them.

GIFTS OF PAMPERING

Somewhere in the middle, between high adventure and nitty-gritty practicality, is where you’ll find holiday gifts that acknowledge that your recipient deserves to be treated with kid gloves. Gifts of pampering can be found at all price points, but you might consider the following:

• Hair Care Services — Your giftee probably has a favorite salon or barber. If you know where they go, it should be easy to get a gift certificate for services or products.
• Massages & Spa Treatments — Having someone touch your body is a pretty personal thing; if you’re not sure if your recipient would be into a massage, consider buying a gift certificate to a full-service spa, where anything from a pedicure to a full-on shiatsu are all on the table (no pun intended). By the way, don’t overlook the men and teen guys on your gift list. “Sportsman services” — a manly rebranding of everything from massages to facials to manicures — have become very popular in recent years.

Massage photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

• Relaxation Apps — Not every pampering experience needs to be an all-day event. Sometimes, what your recipient needs most is a moment of quiet. Monthly or annual upgraded subscriptions to apps like Headspace or Calm can help your recipient achieve a moment of zen.
• Meal Delivery Services/Meal Kits — Mama is tired of cooking, and that’s true whether Mama is an actual mom (or dad) of three or a Grandpa or a one-year-out-of-college GenZer. If they don’t love cooking (or even if they do, but are busy), meal delivery services save shopping, measuring, and prep time, making the meal experience more delightful and less fraught.

And it’s not all Blue Apron or Hello Fresh or the other usual suspects; whether they prefer plant-based meals (Sunbasket) or high protein (FlexPro), there’s a meal kit alternative for everyone on your list. Check out Self Magazine’s article, The 35 Best Meal Delivery Services to Cut Down on Prep Work in 2022 to get identify your person’s best option.

• Personal Chef — Maybe what your giftee needs is a break from cooking altogether. I’ve used a personal chef, and it is definitely not always a fancy-pants service for rich people. A personal chef will meet with a client to find out favorite cuisines, flavors, and textures, and ascertain what dietary restrictions (kosher or halal, low-carb, low-sodium, heart-healthy, etc.) are needed. Personal chefs go shopping (saving your giftee time), cook the meals (more time), clean up (time and sanity) and package the meals so usually all they have to do is pop a meal into the oven. Search your local listings, visit Hire A Chef (run by the United States Personal Chef Association) or the American Personal & Private Chef Association, or search Chefs for Seniors to make dining a little easier for your older loved ones.

About a decade ago, I had a stellar personal chef who really understood my picky eating habits. She came once a month, left me with 4 servings of entrees sides for each of five meal experiences, giving me a month or so of dinners, not counting my regular evenings out. I saved money on groceries because I wasn’t roaming up and down the candy aisles, making impulse purchases (or well-intentionedly buying vegetables that would just die ignoble deaths in the fridge’s crisper). Personal chefs rock!

• Professional Organizing Services — Although organizing is a necessity to lead a calm, orderly life, some people would never consider hiring a professional organizer for themselves because it seems like too much of a luxury. So why not let your giftee luxuriate?

This is not to say that a gift of professional organizing services can’t be a sticky wicket. There’s definitely a right way and a wrong way to give a gift of organizing.

Most professional organizers offer gift certificates or gift services. When people call me to buy a gift certificate, I ask the husband/mother-in-law/adult children if the recipient has already indicated an interest in working with a professional organizer. If the answer is yes, it’s easy to go ahead; however, just as often, the inquiry may come from a well-intentioned person who doesn’t like someone else’s clutter. That’s an interpersonal issue, not an organizing issue. In those instances, the actual client may never call to schedule an appointment, or may do so reluctantly. (As the years have passed, I’ve encouraged gift givers to offer the gift, rather than immediately give it without inquiring. Your mileage may vary.)

While many professional organizers are generalist, there are dozens of specialties, from the spaces where we work (kitchens to closets to offices) to the clients we service (from new moms to seniors to executives). For example, I’m a generalist and in the past month, I’ve trained a client how to use Evernote, organized two clothing closets and a laundry room, and helped a small business owner plan her 2023 marketing needs. I specialize in paper and information management, as well as productivity training. But each professional organizer has different skills and offers different services.

If you’re in North America, start with the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO) or Professional Organizers in Canada (POC) and search the zip/postal code for an organizer near your recipient. (Many of us also offer virtual services, so if you find a professional organizer/blogger whose style you like, see if they offer organizing or productivity help virtually, via Zoom, phone, or similar arrangement.) Outside of North America, we have sister organizations around the world; check out the International Federation of Professional Organizing Associations (IFPOA) to find professional organizers near you.

If your giftee needs specialized assistance with chronic disorganization or organizing while dealing with brain-based challenges (like ADHD, anxiety, depression, hoarding disorder, PTSD, or traumatic brain injuries), you may also want to cross-check the organizing services of professionals who are subscribers with the Institute for Challenging Disorganization.

And while working with a professional organizer may feel like luxurious pampering, you’ll soon see how the experience is a gift that keeps on giving.

You may give a BIG WOW of an experience. Or, your gift could make some or all of the other experiences in someone’s life a little easier (or less expensive). Either way, there are lots of opportunities for you to give gifts that your loved ones will never have to dust or dry-clean or find a place to store. 

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF EXPERIENTIAL GIFTS

What’s the best tangible holiday present you ever received? Hold that thought. Now, what’s best experiential gift?

If your biggest sense of delight came from a gift you got as a child, most of your gifts were probably tangible. When we’re little, our frames are reference are smaller, and our wished-for things take up a large proportion of our hopes and dreams: a bicycle, a dollhouse, a magic set. You probably remember getting stuff.

If the holiday gift came in adulthood, however, there may be a few special tangible gifts you recall, but I’d bet you’d be hard-pressed to talk about the gifts you received in 2021, or 2017, or a decade ago. Tangible gifts recede in our memories; gadgets get replaced by updates, clothing wears out, books and music gets consumed and blended in among our possessions. But experiential gifts, in part because our experiences are unique to us and are also separate from our everyday lives, live on in our memories.

Experiential gifts are not only more memorable, they are also more satisfying than tangible ones, overall. Research from a variety of sources, including Thomas Gilovich, the Irene Blecker Rosenfeld Professor of Psychology at Cornell University, found that enjoyment received from experiential purchases far exceeds that of tangible items. 

The anticipatory aspect is part of it. When we decide to do something, we start thinking about what we will be experiencing. Thus, our imaginations fill in the details in a way that makes thinking about tangible items pale in comparison. Most research has followed this with regard to the things we buy for ourselves, but when we get experiential gifts, they are endowed with the same anticipatory delight between when we get them and when we can use them. The gifts we give should have the same power to stir imagination in our recipients between when they unwrap their presents and when they get to use them.

There’s also a reflective or retrospective aspect that makes experiential gifts more powerful. While we shouldn’t compare the gifts we get to what our friends and loved ones gets, comparison is natural. My iPhone 14 to your Google Pixel; my air fryer to your InstaPot. 

If what I have is inferior to what you have in even one aspect, it it may decrease the delight I feel about what I received, even if I loved mine before comparing it with yours. And if mine is better than yours, well, the excitement doesn’t last. It’s just a thing. Moreover, very few tangible things retain their charm after weeks or months or years. (We’ve talked about the concept of the hedonic treadmill before, with regard to Diderot’s dressing gown in Toxic Productivity Part 2: How to Change Your Mindset. Basically, we get used to stuff.)

Conversely, it’s practically impossible to compare different experiences (yours vs. someone else’s) because there are so many relative differences. My family’s hour in an escape room is going to be completely different from the hour your family spent in one, even if it was at the same location following the same clues and scripts.

At most, you can compare elements of your memories (of the escape room clues, of locations in your trip to Italy, with someone else’s memories of their experiences, but you’re far less likely to compare and feel your own experience to be unfavorable unless your trip was a catastrophe. (Fell into a volcano? Well, at least you get to sell the movie rights!) Experiences, like the individuals who do the experiencing, are unique. 

Today, we’re going to look at a specific kind of experiential gifts — gifts of learning, which involve both learning how to do things and learning for the sheer joy of knowledge.

GIFTS OF EDUCATION

The opportunity to learn something new is a gift that keeps on giving. Outside of the formal education of high school or college, we rarely get permission to be a “beginner” in a subject, and the stakes are so much lower because we need not worry about our permanent record. Paper Doll didn’t study Italian or learn how to ballroom dance, two courses readily available at my university, out of a fear of failure. But as an adult, the stakes for “failure” are much lower if there are no grades or rankings.

Learn By Doing

We’ll begin with participatory educational gifts that let you learn by doing. Consider these gifts for your friends and loved ones.

• Music lessons — Whether your recipient wants to pick up where they left off in middle school and learn the flute without being forced to participate in the marching band, or learn guitar for the first time to play a favorite song, learning to play an instrument has been found to improve patience, memory, and self-confidence, among other benefits.
• Singing lessons — Your bestie may want to get up on stage or just feel more confident singing in the shower, but vocal lessons have been proven to improve posture, boost concentration, and even reduce sleep apnea.
• Dance classes — It doesn’t matter whether you want master the TikTok dances like Lizzo’s About Damned Time or Meghan Trainor’s Made You Look; dancing isn’t just for tots in tutus and hip GenZ kids. From ballroom to ballet, tap to jazz, if you know someone who loves to dance and wants to master some skills, a package of classes from a dance studio may make your giftee twirl!
• Physical education classes — This isn’t about passing that Presidential Physical Fitness Test. (Oh, how I hated that!) And obviously you don’t want to body shame a loved one into working out.

However, if your BFF wants to get leaner or stronger, you can gift several months of an in-person gym membership or a package of online on-demand classes, like at Obé Fitness, Barre3, ClassPass, Alo Moves, and Peleton.

From aerobics and bootcamp to Pilates and Peleton to yoga and Zumba, you can find classes that work for your recipient. Or maybe your bestie would prefer to have private fitness coaching sessions. (You can even secure gifts of session with online personal trainers, such as with Future.)

©Erik Brolin, via Unsplash

• Self-Defense Classes — This may seem like a downer; nobody wants to be reminded that the world isn’t safe. But there are so many other benefits to learning self-defense methods, from improved self-confidence and self-respect to better balance and quicker reflexes!
• Horseback riding — Horseback riding has been incorporated into some types of therapy because of a variety physical benefits (improved core strength, balance, and coordination) and mental ones (reduced anxiety, increased compassion, and relaxation). If your loved one shouts “Horsie!” any time you pass a horse while driving and can’t pass up a repeat viewing of National Velvet, consider riding lessons as a gift.
• Driver’s education — For teens or adults, a package of driving lessons can help give the twin gifts of safe driving skills and confidence. As a bonus, many 55+ drivers can find their car insurance rates reduced if they take safe driving or defensive driving classes.
• Language lessons — Learning a language may initially seem like a purely intellectual pursuit, but it’s definitely a learn-by-doing experience. Your mouth has to move in different (dare I say, “foreign”) ways, and learning a language can be a full-body experience. (You really have to throw yourself into listening, speaking, reading, and writing in a different language, and you may find yourself walking and gesturing in line with the language you learn!)

If you’ve been reading Paper Doll for a while, you know that I’ve been studying Italian since 2018. So far, I’ve been happy with the free lessons via Duolingo. In fact, I recently hit a milestone! 

However, Duo (as the cool kids call it) has a paid “Super” (formerly “Plus”) subscription with advanced features for $6.99/month.

Other options for giving online language learning subscriptions include Pimsleur, Rosetta Stone, Mango, Babbel, and Memrise. If you think your recipient would prefer more structured, in-person classes, you could pay for a local university or community college class. Another alternative, especially if your giftee would like to refresh long-lost language skills, might be a package of lessons with a language tutor.

• Cooking classes — Whether your recipient is a post-college cooking novice or a veteran who wants to learn to specialize in a particular cuisine, there are so many great cooking class options. Just type “cooking classes” and the name of your recipient’s city into a search engine to find classes taught at local restaurants, culinary schools, community colleges, and cooking supply stores. 

Other in-person options include:

Eataly — With locations in Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, New York City, and Silicon Valley, these Italian marketplace/restaurants have classes and special events ranging from cooking classes for adults and kids to market tours (to learn where the experts go), from butcher to baker.

Sur La Table, maker of fine cookware, offers both in-store classes as well as a variety of affordably-priced online courses (beginning at $29/household). Experts teach the live 90-120 minute classes, offered via password-protected Zoom sessions, so your giftee (and any other family members hanging out in the kitchen) can ask questions as they follow along step-by-step.

From Thai stir-fried dumplings to homemade tiramisu, they’ve got you covered.

Creampuff Snow People. ©Sur La Table 

Goldbelly Live! Cook-Alongs help you send a combination gift of food and education. You purchase a Goldbelly meal kit and the Live! (via Zoom) cook-along group classes are included. The ingredients arrive the day prior to your class, and you can learn how to make pizza to dumplings to cookies, class-and-kit combos tend to range from $99 to $159. 

Unfortunately, it looks like all the current classes are sold out, but take a peek at the video to get a sense of what might make a great upcoming gift. 

Would your recipients prefer more intimate cooking class experiences? Buy a gift card (from $100+) from The Chef & the Dish‘s to give private classes with “white glove service” taught by chefs around the world. Your giftee books a class, and a Kitchen Assistant makes contact to host a personal Kitchen Prep Session to check the camera settings, review the shopping list, and answer pre-class questions.

Recipients can pick from 100+ courses covering a variety of cuisines: American Basque Country, Brazilian, Canary Island, Caribbean, Dominican, Eastern European, Hungarian, Indian, Italian, Japanese Mediterranean, Mexican, Moroccan, Peruvian, South African, Spanish, Thai, Turkish, and Tuscan. (There are also group classes, if your recipient prefers that kind of conviviality.) See it in action!

One of my favorite finds is League of Kitchens, which features immigrant women from around the world who are experienced home cooks rather than restaurant chefs. League of Kitchens describes itself as is a “culinary dream-team of women from around the world who will welcome you into their homes, teach you their family recipes, and inspire you with their personal stories.”

League of Kitchens’ online cooking classes include an interactive cooking instruction session, a virtual dinner party, a packet with the instructor’s family recipes, and a video recording of the class. (For New York City-based learners, there are also in-person immersion cooking classes in the instructors’ homes, featuring lessons as well as a light lunch and beverage.) 

International cuisines represented include Afghan, Argentinian, Bengali, Greek (nomnomnom), Indonesian, Japanese, Lebanese, Mexican, Nepali, Persian, Russian, and Uzbek. Classes are $60/device, and you can buy gift cards so your besties can pick the cooking course of their choice.

This is just the beginning; the internet is full of intriguing cooking classes; review the courses for your recipient’s tastes and check the reviews. Other options:

Cozymeal offers live vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian, and other healthy-option cooking classes for $29; you can buy a gift card in increments of $50+.

Traveling Spoon is an option if your giftees like to travel abroad and would like to have a cooking lesson with a home cook wherever they journey. Options include in-home meals, cooking classes, and half-day market visits. You pick the gift card, they pick the location. 

Speaking of travel, if your giftee likes to eat but (like Paper Doll) isn’t that enamored of cooking, another educational option might be gifting a food tour. Depending on the tour, one might learn the historical or cultural significance of different types of foods or dining experiences.

To find tours to give as gifts, use your favorite search engine and type in the recipients’ hometowns or wherever they tend to travel (i.e., where their parents, in-laws, or adult children live). Alternatively, for food tour ideas around the world, check out:

• 10 Best Food Tours in the USA
• 25 Best Food Tours in the United States
• 20 of the Best Food Tours Around the World

Similarly, winery and brewery tours might be just the surprise your recipients might enjoy to learn about their favorite adult beverages.

Learn for the Delight of Learning

Not all gifts of learning center around about doing. Sometimes, people just want to absorb knowledge, whether it’s about literature, music, and the arts, or about how the world has come to be the way it is.

The Great Courses is a perfect place to start, because there’s an absolute buffet of options, from history, literature, and language, to economics and finance, to philosophy and religion, to science and mathematics, and so much more.

Your recipients can take a (virtual) grand tour of England, Scotland, and Wales, or get tips on how to train a dog; they can get a handle on Norse Mythology or understand the Federalist Papers;  there are even language classes for those wanting to learn Spanish, Japanese, Italian, and more. The 2022 Great Courses Gift-Giving Guide is full of (currently) discounted course offerings — 537 of them! 

The Great Courses’ Wondrium YouTube channel provides playlists of video equivalents of free “ice cream samples” of various classes. Peruse them to spark ideas for which of your people would like which classes.

Courses are offered on online as “instant” audio or video (and on DVD!), and are priced anywhere from $29.95 upward. You can purchase a specific course for a gift, or buy a gift certificate so your giftees can choose what they like best.

Master Class is the ultimate option if you want to give a gift that’s educational but less academic. I’m sure you’ve seen the ads everywhere you go online, but in case you’re unfamiliar, MasterClass is a streaming platform where you (or, y’know, your recipients) can watch or listen to hundreds of video lessons taught by 100+ of the world’s best in their fields.

Master Class content is less like sitting in a classroom and more like being mentored by recognized experts. From business and leadership to filmmaking, screenwriting, and acting, to a melange of photography, cooking, music, sports, science and technology, and government, it’s all there.

Even within categories, there’s lots of variety. Does your recipient like music? Master Class has courses taught by Yo-Yo Ma, Big Nas, and Metallica. (Yes, really.) Bill Nye teaches Science and Problem Solving, Malala instructs on how to create change, and Gloria Steinem and colleagues present the evolution of feminism.

Melinda Gates teaches a course for using your powers (and money, one imagines) for good. From Indian cooking to how to think like an FBI profiler to courses on creating an athlete’s mindset to buying and selling real estate, your recipient will never get bored. From Neil Gaiman to Neil deGrasse Tyson, and from Jane Goodall to Christina Aguilera (and seriously, watch both those links to see how similarly these women begin their videos!), there should be something here your giftee will find compelling.

Master Class offers three annual plans: Standard, Plus, or Premium (at $15, $20, and $23/month, respectively, billed annually, though right now they’re offering a $180, 2-for-1 holiday special — buy an annual membership for yourself and get one free to give as a gift). The main difference is the number of devices one can be using simultaneously (1, 2, or 6, respectively), and if using the Standard plan, you can’t download the courses for offline viewing.

Gifts of learning are one kind of experiential gift; next week we’ll round out the gift advice with other alternative types of clutter-free presents that allow your recipients to have memorable, appealing experiences.

Meanwhile, please share in the comments about your favorite thing to learn. What kind of classes or learning experiences have you received, or would you like to get, as a gift?