Best Results Organizing

Portions of this post originally appeared in 2015.

PAPER DOLL FEARS FEAR

This week is Halloween, a time for ghosts, goblins, vampires, and other scary creatures. I’ve never been a fan of the fearful aspects of Halloween, opting for silly costumes rather than frightening ones. (More than once, I’ve sewn spare socks and washcloths to a sweatshirt and gone as static cling. Shocking!)

I’ve never understood the appeal of being being frightened in a visceral way: horror films, scary pranks, roller coasters. I’ve never adored the original Bela Lugosi, Eastern European-accented vampires, nor the “hot and sparkly” modern-day Twilight vampires; give me Buffy the Vampire Slayer‘s snarky Spike over brooding Angel any day.

That said, nobody can dislike Count von Count from Sesame Street, especially a professional organizer, as numbers offer us so much help in organizing things by date or priority!

(This is about as scary as Paper Doll can handle things.) The point (and I do have one) is that I’ll pass on thrillers, espionage, and creepy demons, whether they’re climbing out of graves or television sets.

The only “fear” I enjoy is when a character fears that all is lost and there is no hope to be united with one’s great love, only to be shocked by a proposal! Jane Austen has my back. Well, the ghost of Jane Austen, anyway. That said, I still don’t know what to say about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which I find so uncomfortably scary and gruesome that I can’t bring myself to post the actual video of the trailer!

FEAR HAS BENEFITS

Before I get into how fear intersects with organization, I should point out that fear obviously has some merits. While I’m not entertained by heightened fears and the relief of it brought on by experiences like horror movies and haunted houses, I understand the appeal of the rush of endorphins. 

Beyond entertainment, fear can act as a powerful protective catalyst in multiple ways:

• Promoting Caution and Safety — When we have fear of a negative result, it can encourage us to exercise caution in order to avoid harm or negative consequences. If we’re afraid of embarrassing ourselves by doing a poor job in a work presentation, we will do more research, seek feedback, and rehearse. If we fear being carjacked or mugged, may make better decisions when we go out and avoid potentially dangerous situations.

Of course, if we take fear to the extremes, it keeps us from taking any kind of actions that could improve our situation. Fear of failure can keep us from accepting a promotion or trying a new hobby, and being overly cautious may prevent us from reaping benefits of new situations.

• Inspiring Preparedness and Planning — We professional organizers love preparing for any eventuality. For example, see last month’s Paper Doll Organizes You to Prepare for an Emergency.

At its best, fear can help us spot potential challenges or adverse circumstances, and motivate us to be proactive, developing and embracing strategies that will mitigate risks, protect us from negative consequences, and develop contingency plans.

If you’re afraid of technology and fear your computer crashing, you can take in the advice of a post I wrote for Write*Publish*Sell entitled 9 Ways to Keep Your Writing Safe. If you’re afraid of situations that where the key person at home won’t be there, check out Cross-Training for Families: Organize for All Eventualities. And for a deeper look at the concept of backing up, October’s Productivity & Organizing Blog Carnival is all about The Back-up Plan!

On the downside, when taken to extremes, an excess of caution and preparedness can prompt people to hold onto everything “just in case,” never considering how that sentence ends. Just in case — of what? Too often, people’s fear’s lead to inertia, never recognizing how dangerous inertia can be.

• Enhancing Alertness and Awareness — Fear triggers the body’s fight, flight, or freeze response. The body releases adrenaline so that we can act quickly and respond to imminent threats. 

At the positive end of the spectrum, fear can heighten our senses. Whether it’s hair standing up on the back of our neck when we enter a dark house or we sense someone’s presence just before we actually see a stranger, fear can help us be more vigilant so we can respond to potential dangers. We can hit that mugger with our umbrella or scream while running down the street.

Conversely, if we believe we cannot escape a scary situation, we tend to freeze. (This is true in active situations, where we fear the oncoming danger, or in passive situations, where we fear what will happen if we let go of possessions we may need in the future.)

• Enforcing Boundaries — Fear has the potential to encourage us to set personal boundaries, establish limits, and enforce them. When the issue is a creepy dude or an overbearing relative, a (mentally and physically) healthy reaction to fear prompts us to set boundaries for how we allow others to treat us.

Someone who has experienced trauma (like a house fire or financial devastation) may feel unable to ever let possessions go because the excess clutter serves as a buffer against that sense of loss. However, facing fear and setting boundaries regarding what is useful and pleasing vs. what is unnecessary can yield a greater sense of empowerment.

• Increased Resilience and Growth — Situations that trigger fear can challenge us to confront limitations and overcome obstacles. If we’re afraid of poverty, fear can trigger us to get more education and to be bolder in our job searches.

Realistically facing fears can serve as a catalyst for growth. If someone both anticipates negative emotions related to letting go of clutter and fears being stuck in a house that’s too big and difficult to care for, they may be inspired to call a professional organizer to get help downsizing.

Fear gives us the opportunity grow, develop inner resources, explore coping mechanisms, and deal with uncertainty.

As a professional organizer and productivity coach, I tend to deal with fears related to action-blocking emotions. However, if you’d like the explore the power of fear for more physical protection, one of the most highly recommended references is Gavin De Becker’s The Gift of Fear: Surviving Signals that Protect Us From Violence. It was originally published in 1977, and re-issued in 2021.

HOW FEAR KEEPS US FROM GETTING ORGANIZED

Fear keeps us from moving forward in our lives. It keeps us from going after exciting opportunities and leaving bad situations. In my line of work, every day, I see the ways in which the prospect of getting organized is both prompted by fear and avoided due to fear.

Staying disorganized can be scary. 

When we are disorganized, we spend excess money on items because we either don’t know what we own or we can’t find what we own. We lose time redoing work, whether it’s the file that’s disappeared or the laundry with wrinkles set in because wet clothing never made it from the washer or the dryer.

Being disorganized can risk physical safety, whether that means parents stepping on pieces of LEGO left on the floor or a grandparent falling and breaking a hip because the house has become too full of excess to allow it to be properly put away.

And, of course, too much of too much causes anxiety. Taken to excess, embarrassment over the overwhelm of clutter keeps people from entertaining or maintaining close social ties, and the health risks of social isolation and loneliness have been found to include heart disease, stroke, diabetes, depression, anxiety, addiction, self-harm, dementia and shortened life-span.

Getting organized can be scary.

Let that idea sink in. It was definitely a surprise to me 21+ years ago when I started my business. I expected people would be excited by the prospect of decluttering and creating new systems, but also anticipated some might have avoided the process because they thought it would be boring or hard work. When I was a novice, I had no idea how powerfully fear was enmeshed with the prospect of getting organized.

Usually, we talk about getting organized from the perspective of practical matters. What’s the most efficient technique? What’s products can streamline the process? That’s what I was expected.

When we do talk about the psychology of getting organized, we’re often focusing on tips and tricks to get us motivated, to eliminate procrastination, or to keep us focused on a system, but we don’t necessarily dig into the idea that there are baseline fears, often unacknowledged, that prevent us from taking the steps we know will improve our lives.

Several year ago, I sat down with John Hunt, host of Smead’s Keeping You Organized video podcast, to record a show called “Fears That Keep You From Getting Organized.” I encourage you to watch and listen (with the understanding that it was recorded before the world — and Paper Doll — had embraced Zoom, videoconferencing, and decent lighting techniques)!

On the episode, we talked about some of the fears — unspoken or even unrecognized — that cause us to back away from our organizing challenges without really considering the solutions available. Some of these include:

• Fear of discarding something — Whether tangible or informational, you may worry that you might need it someday.

We call this the “just in case” fear. A popular piece of advice warrants letting go of something you don’t use if you can replace it for under $20 or in under 20 minutes of asking around.

Remember that “someday” is not a date on the calendar, and the quickest way to vaporizing your fear is to think concretely about the circumstances in which you might need “the thing,” consider how often (if ever) you’ve needed it in the past, and how you might approximate it’s use.

• Fear of stifling your creativity — Honestly, it’s impossible to use your creativity to the fullest if you can’t find the tools and resources of your creativity amid mountains and piles of clutter.

• Fear of potential emotional distress after discarding something — The Pareto Principle, also called the 80/20 Rule, reminds us that 80% of our success comes from 20% of our efforts; 80% of the time, we’re wearing 20% of our clothes or using 20% of our apps or gadgets. We professional organizers see every day that letting go of what people never, or hardly ever, use really leads to a greater sense of freedom. 

• Fear of losing personal or sentimental attachments to people and memories.

It’s important to determine whether something actually has sentimental attachment for us or we just expect that because it’s old, or was a gift, or belonged to someone we loved, that we should have an attachment to it. Very often that’s not the case; when it is, by letting go of the things without true emotional attachment, the things we do keep are more meaningful and resonant.

• Fear of letting go of things upon which you’ve lavished money, time, or attention — otherwise known as the “sunk cost” fallacy.

I see clients who’ve held onto ancient computers from the 1980s because they cost so much, even though they can still only run DOS and not even the oldest (and entirely unsupported) versions of Windows. Other clients have held on to dresses or suits that they haven’t worn in decades and which no longer fit their bodies or their lifestyles.

It’s similar to staying in a relationship where you’ve put in all the effort and you never get anything back. Letting go of what no longer rewards you grants you the opportunity to spend your resources on things, experiences, and relationships that have the potential to make your life more meaningful.

• Fear of the unknown. — The world can be scary, and not knowing what’s coming next can paralyze us with fear.

None of us can predict the future. A few months before COVID-19, I tossed out a few respirator masks, the kinds used for protecting your lungs when you paint. I could have kicked myself for not having masks when the pandemic hit, but instead of giving myself a hard time about not sufficiently fearing the future to ensure I was protected against ALL eventualities, I gave myself permission to face the future as it comes rather than being stuck in a quagmire of holding onto everything because it might somehow have value someday. 

Of course, there are other fears that prevent us from achieving our organizing and productivity goals that we didn’t even get to, including:

• Fear of failure —  “What if I spend time trying to create order and it turns out I can’t do it? Or I can’t maintain it?”

Instead of focusing on what might go wrong, we can concentrate on what skills and systems we an implement to lessen the possibility of things going awry and institute  personal policies for catching things before they go too far off the rails.

• Fear of success — “If I declutter and get more organized, people are going to expect more from me and heap more work and responsibilities on my shoulders.”

This is a reasonable fear. The better we are at doing something, the more we leave ourselves open to being taken advantage of (intentionally or unintentionally). But the better we are at doing something, the more energy we will have to set and enforce our boundaries! 

• Fear of loss of serendipity — “Right now, I’m delighted and surprised when I spend hours searching for something I can’t find, but come across something under a pile that I was looking for last week, or six months ago.”

Serendipity can be even better explored when we can access things we need. If we don’t waste our time, money, energy, and resources on re-done work, dual purchases, and scrambling to find lost items, we can turn our attention to our hobbies and interests and find serendipity in what we come across in the world of ideas, things, and people that reside outside our own no-longer-cluttered homes.

There are all kinds of fears. I believe that when we acknowledge our fears, we’re taking the first step toward recognizing that we have control over whether to give in to the inertia of fear or break through and empower ourselves for change. 

May the only scary things in your future be tiny toddlers in more-adorable-than-terrifying costumes.