Archive for ‘Psychological’ Category

Posted on: September 19th, 2022 by Julie Bestry | 14 Comments

Kabarett der KomikerGisela Schlüter unter Friseurhaube by Willy Pragher (CC BY 3.0)

What’s annoying you today? What’s been annoying you so long that you almost don’t notice the annoyance until someone else mentions it?

Over Labor Day weekend, my air conditioner died. This was an acute problem, one that I noticed almost immediately (as the temperature was rising overnight instead of going down) and which led to much misery until the holiday weekend ended and the maintenance staff could address the problem fully.

(To be fair, they did bring a mobile A/C unit, which cooled my bedroom to a bearable temperature; unfortunately, it was so loud, I felt like I was sleeping adjacent to a jet engine. Sometimes, you trade one intolerable thing for another. That’s often what keeps you from seeking, or implementing a solution in the first place.)

That same weekend, I realized that my fridge was dying. Unlike the A/C unit, this was a less obvious thing to tolerate. The freezer was still working perfectly, and the contents of the fridge weren’t warm; they just weren’t entirely full-on chilly. Weeks earlier, the refrigerator had been making some moaning noises, but fiddling with the settings of the circa-1986 fridge seemed to stop the noise. And then I stopped noticing.

Two household problems, but one felt a lot more urgent than the other. But these weren’t the only problems.

Early in the pandemic, to ensure everyone’s safety, our complex had asked us to understand that they’d only be performing inside maintenance for emergencies. So, when we had torrential rains in the summer of 2020, the roof was repaired immediately; the ceiling, well, not so quickly.

When my hot water heater expired in the spring of 2021, I vacated my home and the nice gentlemen figured out the complexities of draining a water heater on the second floor to enable removal and installation of a new one. And later that summer, my smoke detector decided to start beeping in eight sequences of three loud bursts, every ten minutes, ALL.NIGHT.LONG. That was something I could not tolerate (and thankfully, the leasing office agreed).

However, there were other, smaller repairs where I managed DIY solutions or made do. It was easier to avoid contact during the pandemic for non-emergency issues. And then I just started tolerating some inconveniences.

WHAT YOU TOLERATE NEVER GOES AWAY

A few years ago, in Organize Away Frustration: Practice The Only Good Kind of “Intolerance,” we discussed how the first step to creating the kind of life you want is to start by identifying the unsatisfying things that you tolerate. Knowing what makes you unhappy helps you create a strategy for eliminating those “tolerations,” the obstacles to your happiness. (This is true with organizing tangible items, as well as dealing with things in your schedule, and even non-organizing things, like annoyances in our relationships and whether we live our true values.)

Knowing what makes you unhappy helps you create a strategy for eliminating those 'tolerations,' the obstacles to your happiness. Share on X

As I mentioned in that prior post, I see part of my role as a professional organizer and productivity expert as helping my clients identify the areas in which they’ve been tolerating inconveniences far too long. Recent client situations have included:

  • Carla* never could find gift certificates when she was ready to use them. They were always in drawers, or in the greeting cards with which they were given. We collected all of them and then separated restaurant gift certificates from shopping gift certificates. The former might be used on any given evening when she and her spouse were already out of the house and might drop in somewhere to eat, so we created a wallet for dining out cards. For the latter, given that Carla only shopped on Saturday, we clipped them together and put them in the Saturday slot of her tickler file. (Every new gift card or certificate went to one of those two places from then on.)
  • Joe always had trouble figuring out how to adjust the settings on his DVR. It didn’t help that his box of manuals included instructions for every gadget and device he’d owned since the early 1970s. We purged all of the manuals that applied to defunct gadgets, created folders in the “household” section of the Family Files with one folder for each type of technology (computers, entertainment, kitchen, etc.) But then we scanned the DVR instructions that plagued him as a PDF and put it in the Notes app on his phone so it was even easier to access (and enlarge).
  • Jenny’s pantry was crowded with ingredients, including a wide variety of items marked “gluten-free.” But nobody in Jenny’s household was avoiding gluten! It turns out that an occasional weekend houseguest cooked while visiting and she needed gluten-free ingredients. We rearranged the pantry so that the occasional guest had her own labeled shelf, and everyone was happier.
  • Patsy saw that when she’d click on a link, her browser would sometimes give her a “web kit error” or just a blank page. She’d been copying the link from one browser (Safari) to another (Chrome) where it would work just fine, but lately, she’d been having to do that more and more, increasing her frustration. Upgrading her operating system allowed her to upgrade her browser, and she no longer had to struggle.

* All names have been changed to protect client confidentiality.

Sometimes professional organizers are dealing with clutter, but all organizers end up dealing with obstacles to productivity. The problem is that we’re all more likely to ignore a problem that can’t be fixed immediately.

When we’re focused on the task at hand, whether that’s work or school or driving or parenting, the thing we’re doing is more likely to have a deadline or at least be time-based. We postpone removing the obstacle until such time as it becomes too large or problematic to withstand. This is what happens when people keep driving with the “Check engine” light glowing on their dash panel.

RECENT TOLERATIONS TACKLED

As I wrote about in Organize Away Frustration: Practice The Only Good Kind of “Intolerance,” many of the “intolerables” in our lives can be conquered with a little research and applying one of the following:

  • A product
  • A service
  • A change in behavior
  • A change in attitude

In that post, I shared how I was almost unrelievedly ecstatic to find a new kind of shower curtain hook that made changing out shower curtain liners much easier on my short-of-stature self. Today, I’d like to share just a few recent examples of how applying a combination of solutions have removed annoyances.

A Tale of Two TVs

Do you have any of those old, boxy CRT TVs in your home? I did. In fact, I had three, which is kind of ridiculous when you realize I’m a singleton. You see, I’d had a television in my living room and another in my bedroom. When the bedroom TV died (so long ago that I’m embarrassed to discuss the exact date), I moved the living room TV to the bedroom.

When I met a friend for lunch one day, she surprised me by having brought one of her old, boxy CRT TVs for my use! To this day, I’m flummoxed as to how she ever got it into her car, and though I recall basically rolling/sliding it up the carpeted stairs of my apartment, I’ve got no idea how I ever managed to get it from my car to my own front door. (Perhaps this is like how they claim women forget the pain of childbirth?)

Eventually, I got a modern flat-screen TV for my living room. But I also embraced the advice not to have screens in the bedroom (to avoid that sleep-stealing blue light) and got rid of cable in that room. Thus, I had a broken TV, a gifted (no longer used) TV, and an unused TV. All on the second floor of my home.

Did I mention these are big, heavy, boxy TVs?

Remember how I said I had my hot water heater replaced last year? Well, one of those TVs took up most of the empty space at the top of the staircase, and so even though our apartment complex had been pretty insistent that we were never to ask the maintenance men to carry or remove anything unrelated to their work, the guys decided that it would be to everyone’s benefit to get that one TV out. Yay! But that still left two.

To be fair, I wasn’t always just tolerating the annoyance of having two unused, dust-catching, space-hogging CRT TVs in my home. I had called the various junk haulers in town, but they wanted a frustratingly large fee for something that I could have done myself, had I only been stronger, had slightly longer arms to get fully around the TVs, and had been a bit taller (so I could have seen the stairs over the top of the TVs and not feared tumbling down).

Yes, even we professional organizers fall prey to those self-imposed obstacles. Had I thrown a little money at the problem, it would have been solved back then. 

I also called many non-profits, but nobody wanted donated CRTs.

Fast forward to late August, when I contacted Chattanooga’s Always Be Recycling. The owners, a couple who’d moved from Pennsylvania, opened their business here just at the start of the pandemic. I’d networked online with Leann Cinaglia to see how their services might dovetail with my clients’ needs. The last time we’d spoken, they weren’t able to handle CRTs because of the difficulty in recycling them, but on a day where the frustration had just gotten too high, I called to see if they might have any suggestions for other solutions. And that’s where the magic happened!

It turns out that annoyingly boxy 20″ CRT TVs have become popular with the retro gaming crowd! After one short phone call, Always Be Recycling’s co-owner Jamison Cinaglia and his associate Bret (pictured above) arrived on time the next day and quickly removed both TVs and oodles of old landline phones, cables, and cords as well — at no charge. (Had I lived significantly farther from their venue, there would have been a fee, but significantly less than the various junk haulers had quoted me.)

Throughout the entire interaction, they were professional, careful, friendly, and polite. This bodes well for knowing they’ll treat my clients, especially the elderly and/or delicate ones, with respect and compassion

So, this is a reminder that sometimes, the key is to continue to ask for input on solutions until the right one appears.

No Longer Hot Under the Collar

Not all intolerances are about excess or clutter. A major frustration in my life is heat. (And no, that’s not specific to the air conditioning and refrigerator woes.) I’m just always too hot. I hydrate. I wear temperature-appropriate clothing. But no matter what, even my head perspires and my hair frizzes and I end up looking like Art Garfunkel. (No offense, Art.)

And yes, I realize that a Buffalonian living in the Deep South might have found a more obvious solution to that problem over three-plus decades.

I’ve tried those evaporative cooling neck scarves and “chilly towels.”

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Honestly, they just end up feeling damp and heavy. 

However, in addition to my own research, I’ve made it a habit of telling everyone I know, particularly people who participate in outdoor activities, that heat is the non-clutter bane of my existence. So, friends are on the lookout for solutions on my behalf.

Recently, Paper Mommy was at the hair salon and saw a stylist wearing something that looked like headphones around her neck. When my mom casually asked, the stylist enthused about this life-changing product, a fan that you wear around your neck. Paper Mommy bought me one (in pink) that very day!

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Two days later, I received a Jisulife bladeless neck cooler. (Due to autocorrect, I accidentally praised it to my BFF as a “bloodless” neck cooler. Thankfully, it’s also that.)

You place it around your neck as if you’d just removed headphones, and the three-speed fan gently blows cooling air upward, along the neckline and up into your hairline (without causing any tangles or mess). I’ve used it several times to great effect at client locations where the combination of the kind of work we we’re doing and the actual temperature made the heat intolerable for me.

It’s battery operated and rechargeable via the included USB-C charging cable. The manufacturer notes that the 4000mAh large capacity batteries provide anywhere from 4-16 working hours of service, depending on which speed levels you use. 

There are a number of brands with similar styles, but this one ranges from $32-37 and comes in dark blue, dark green, grey, and pink. 

They Say Nothing Can Live in a Vacuum

Recently, my longtime hair stylist (hey, this continues a theme!) left the salon where I’ve been going for years and moved to her own location. In this new place, several providers (offering a wide variety of beauty services) have one collaborative location. All of them have their own private pods or units, about the size of a single or double dorm room. As I’m still wearing a mask whenever I’m inside anywhere, and trying to avoid being in close contact with strangers, I love this bright and cheery, but private space.

Terri Hart of RoseMary Beauty Company in a photo at her old salon

My fabulous stylist (shoutout, Terri!) has decorated her salon space to make it inviting. At my first visit, I applied my professional organizer curiosity (with her permission, of course) and marveled at all of the scaled-down storage and gadgets. There’s a cozy snack bar with a lovely little fridge and coffee maker, cabinets and cupboards, a tiny towel warmer, and all sorts of appealing products.

At one point, I looked toward the floor and saw what I jokingly guessed was a Doctor Who Dalek-adjacent gadget. OK, I assumed was either a Bluetooth speaker, humidifier, or some kind of air cleaner. But nope. 

It’s an EyeVac Home Touchless Vacuum. The prior salon had been designed with one of those in-wall central vacuum systems. When homes have central vacuum systems, you can usually plug a hose into the wall in any of a variety of spots and attach the appropriate devices. In the salon, it was a matter of sweeping hair clippings up to the edge of baseboard and shwooooop it would get sucked in and away to some mysterious central location. But that was a big salon specially built for the purpose.

Terri found her EyeVac Home Touchless Vacuum through a site for salon products. She simply sweeps clippings up to the front of this little robot-looking dude, and motion detectors sense the schmutz! (There are buttons on the top for manual control when you want it.) Debris is stored inside an environmentally-safe canister until you’re ready to empty it, at which point it’s much like emptying a shredder.

It comes in six colors (Designer White, Tuxedo Black, Matte Black, Silver, Rose Gold, and Sea Glass), measures 8″ long x 13″ wide by 18″ high, comes with a six-foot electrical cord, and uses dual HEPA filters. It’s available for $129 from EyeVac and Amazon, which is currently offering a $10 clickable coupon. 

Had Terri not found this nifty tool, I’m sure she would have figured out a sweeping/vacuuming, but by acquiring this up-front, she avoided having a frustrating, untenable “toleration.” She also never has to bend down or deal with a dustpan! The company doesn’t have a YouTube channel, but the late, lamented (and slightly resurrected) gadget site The Grommet shows it off to nice effect here:

Cooler still, in the days after seeing this EyeVac Home Touchless Vacuum in action, I’d been mentioning it (as well as the bladeless neck cooler) to clients. And with this, we have solved so many frustrations in household with babies and toddlers who drop food from their high chairs, cats who swoop bits of kitty litter all over the room, and crafters who drop bits of cuttings, sequins, and yarn-y bits, etc. 

Instead of schlepping out a full-size or handheld vacuum or having to bend or lug, a quick and simple swoop of a broom right up to the bottom edge of this little Dalek cousin and all of your schmutzy clutter will be exterminated!

HOW TO STOP TOLERATING THE INTOLERABLE

Nobody’s house or office or computer gets cluttered overnight. Ignoring or avoiding frustrations for weeks or months or years just allows those frustrations to be build. So, I leave you with an update of the advice I offered a little over two years ago:

  1. Google (or use your favorite search engine) to see who has created content about your problem, tweaking your search terms to find what you need. There are tricks to improve your searches on Google, on DuckDuckGo, and on Bing.
  2. Search on YouTube (which is ideal for solving “how to” problems, whether for plumbing repair, tying a tie, or fixing a stuck spacebar). A few years ago, someone stole my driver’s side mirror, yanking it from the electrical connections. (Who does that?!) A clear, concise YouTube video allowed me to purchase just the mirror and replace it myself, rather than having to take it to mechanic and pay for service.
  3. Search in an online forum like (the less dodgy parts of) Reddit, Facebook or community groups, or neighborhood groups. I’ve seen people ask for everything from how to get a car out of locked garage to how to get teenagers to respond to texts.
  4. Ask for suggestions on your social media pages. (I learned from TikTok that you’re not supposed to roll/fold modern sleeping bags before putting them in compression carrying bags; you’re supposed to smoosh them in. Who knew?)  
  5. Visit or call your local public library. Librarians are experts at finding information. (Let’s say your problem requires a tool, and you don’t want to buy a specialized tool. Did you know many cities have tool libraries?) You can also use the Library of Congress’ Ask A Librarian for general and specialized help solving those intolerable problems.
  6. Ask a professional organizer. We know stuff. (We professional organizers get asked all sorts of things. “How do I fold a fitted sheet?” “What’s the best label-maker?” “How do I pay off my mortgage faster?” “Where can I donate this random item that’s of no use to me but might make someone else’s life magical?” Ask your PO!

And, if we’ve learned anything this week, consider asking your hair stylist!

Posted on: July 14th, 2022 by Julie Bestry | 8 Comments

You’re used to reading what I have to say about organizing and productivity in the pages of the Paper Doll blog. It might be easy to imagine me as some disembodied robot, typing away. But I am a real (and lively, and talkative) person, and I’ve been delighted to spend the early part of this summer getting to talk about my favorite topics with other experts for the benefit of people interested in guidance on these issues.

In fact, I’ve done four interviews over the past two months, three of which have been for podcasts, which I’ll tell you about later in the post. But today, I’d like to tell you about a really interesting (and FREEEEEE) opportunity for you to learn about planning, prioritizing, and leadership. (And remember, leadership isn’t just about being “in charge” at work. We lead in our homes, in our volunteer areas, and in our communities. Wouldn’t it be nice not to be overwhelmed there, too?)

I’d love for you to join me, along with a few of my beloved productivity colleagues (Frank Buck and Augusto Pinaud, about whom you heard oodles back in Paper Doll Picks: Organizing and Productivity Podcasts), and twenty other specialists for a FREE, 21-day, virtual event.

This event is for those of you who have a desire to accomplish more (of the right things) but have less stress, and to stop feeling stuck or frustrated because you’re not further along. (And since we’ve just come off a five-part series on toxic productivity, you know how that hamster wheel gets us spinning in circles, but not necessarily getting anywhere.)

The official name for this event has so many words in it, you’d think it was a Paper Doll blog post!

The Leader’s Asset: How To Increase Your Leadership Capacity & Reduce Overwhelm Through More Effective Planning & Prioritizing!

Before I forget, you can head over to my special link http://theleadersasset.com/JulieBestry to register. (This isn’t an affiliate link. I don’t get anything out of you registering except the joy of knowing I get dibs on saying I introduced you to this series. But as you’ll see, I’m pretty psyched about it.)

Each of us joined with The Leader’s Asset founder, Robert Barlow of Perpetual Aim (Personal Leadership Solutions), to record video interviews on subjects covering:

  • How to plan and prioritize to reduce your overwhelm
  • Ways to effectively beat procrastination
  • How to accomplish more (of the right things) in less time
  • Solutions to gain control over your email
  • Tips, tools, and strategies to make planning and prioritizing more effective
  • Dealing with distractions and keeping urgent tasks from derailing your focus
  • And many more nuggets of wisdom and learning

These are not long, droning PowerPoint presentations. Instead, these are short, information-packed, conversational interviews with zero fluff. Every interview with Robert clocks in at about 20 minutes. (OK, you know I’m a talker, so mine is a few teensy minutes more!)

The point is that you will walk away from each interview with actionable strategies you can use right away and some newly-tweaked mindsets that will, as Robert says, TAKE YOU TO THE NEXT LEVEL!

So, would you (or your spouse, or your bestie, co-workers, and pals) like to hear from a diverse group of experts on how to be more successful leaders by really grasping the whole magic of planning and prioritizing

How does it work? Once you register, you’ll get a welcome email, and then beginning Monday, July 18th, you’ll get an email each morning with a link to that day’s interview. Again, the 21-day series is free, but you’ll also have a chance to upgrade to a VIP package, with lifetime access to the recordings and some special opportunities Robert has in store.

So come on and register for The Leader’s Asset Interview Series

Curious about who else is participating besides me, Frank, and Augusto? I don’t want to spoil any of Robert’s surprises, but I can give you a preview of some of the variety of talent he’s put together for this series, which includes:

  • Bob Wendover has built a business helping people beat burnout, improve workplace problem solving skills, and develop critical thinking capacity.
  • Oleg Konovalov is a global thought leader, author, business educator, consultant, and C-suite coach. He’s known as the DaVinci of Visionary Leadership, and uses his research to help entrepreneurs and managers identify their strategic needs in the terms of leadership.
  • Shanda Miller is a leadership coach, trainer, and writer, and author of the book From Supervisor to Super Leader.
  • Eva Medilek is a coach who teaches high performance success habits so her clients can  leave behind their burnout, overwhelm, and exhaustion.
  • Divya Parekh combines her biopharmaceutical career with experience as a coach, author, consultant, and speaker to help individuals become better leaders.

And that’s just scratching the surface. So I invite you to come play in The Leader’s Asset Interview Series sandbox with me, Robert Barlow, and these experts. Take 20 minutes a day to get some gems on how to improve your planning and prioritizing so you can work smarter (and healthier), lead better, and enjoy it all more.

UPDATE: The schedule has been announced, and my interview will go live on Wednesday, July 27, 2022! (Frank’s is Tuesday July 19th; Augusto’s is August 6th. But register to find out the whole schedule and start watching on Monday, July 18th!)

DIDN’T I SAY SOMETHING ABOUT PODCASTS?

I did! 

As I mentioned at the top, I’ve been delighted to have been interviewed for three podcasts recently. In my own way, I’ve been working on different aspects of “leadership” in terms of bringing productivity and organizing to a wider audience, beyond my Paper Doll family, clients, and speaking audiences.

I’ve written recently about how I’ve just recertified as a Certified Evernote Expert (formerly Evernote Certified Consultant). In the next month or so (schedule: TBA), I’m excited that I’ll be a guest of the fabulous Ray Sidney-Smith on his new season of the Getting More Done with Evernote podcast. Ray always asks insightful questions and our mutual geeking out over Evernote will make you feel like you were in the room with us.

Toward the end of the summer, I am agog to report that I’ll be a guest on The NAPO Stand Out Podcast with the savvy and chic Clare Kumar! We had an amazing and free-wheeling conversation about some of my favorite organizing topics!

And bringing this all full circle, because Dr. Frank Buck was the one who introduced me to Robert Barlow for the interview series, I was recently on an episode of Frank Buck: Productivity for Total Control & Peace of Mind. He even named the episode “Julie Bestry: Don’t Apologize…Organize!” and you know how I love that!

Listen to the podcast at the show link or via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to get your podcast mojo going, and lookie, the YouTube video is embedded below. The magic of the internet! (But hey, if you enjoy what we have to say, please click through to YouTube and leave a comment so Frank can feel the love, too!)

So, it may be the lazy, hazy days of summer, but I’m trying to keep you entertained and informed on all things about organizing and productivity.

Oh, and if you sign up for The Leader’s Asset Interview Series, please let me know (so I can do a happy dance), and feel free to come back to this post and let me know any gems you learn from the interviews, whether mine or from one of the other experts.

Happy summer!

Posted on: July 11th, 2022 by Julie Bestry | 12 Comments

THE MANY TENDRILS OF TOXIC PRODUCTIVITY

I checked in with a friend the other day to see how her new job was going. Her company, an international conglomerate, had laid off several people over the past six months, including my friend, but also did some internal hiring. She’d been excited about getting the new job, but seemed blue when we spoke.

“I’ll be honest,” she told me, “if I hadn’t already worked for this company for years, I’d think I was incompetent. This is really hard.” My friend, a veteran of many, many promotions for merit, is definitely not incompetent. It turns out that only one person had ever held this position before, and was fired after being unable to keep up with the demands.

When I hear these stories from my clients, the first thing I do is get a sense of whether the problem is that someone needs more support or guidance at work. In terms of support, even though she’s at the same company, my friend’s work situation is different, and she’s no longer got the support of a team structure; rather, everyone is on his or her own, with no cross-training and no backup. The company still seems to have unreasonable expectations of how much can be humanly accomplished, as we discussed at the start of this series, in Toxic Productivity In the Workplace and What Comes Next.

Next, she and I talked about the Pareto Principle (AKA: the 80/20 Rule, which we discussed last week in Toxic Productivity, Part 4: Find the Flip Side of Productivity Hacks) and I asked my friend if she’d talked with her boss about priorities, and what the most important aspects of the job needed to be right now.

Remember, 80% of the success comes from 20% of the effort, so finding that 20% can eliminate a lot of the stress and busy-work, creating more mental energy to tackle other aspects of the work. 

The Pareto Principle says 80% of the success comes from 20% of the effort, so finding that 20% can eliminate a lot of the stress and busy-work, creating more mental energy to tackle other aspects of the work.  Share on X

I pointed out that, as a valued employee, and as the second person to try to tackle this role, she might be in a position to (gently) point out these unreasonable expectations. (Yes, this is a touchy issue, but it’s the best way to determine if the problem is bad management practices or merely lack of corporate awareness of how many human-hours it takes to accomplish certain tasks.)

My friend then noted that a colleague of hers, another “island” unto himself in a position similar to herss, has been in his role for about a year and a half. Apparently, this guy regularly works until midnight and starts again before traditional work hours, and works through the weekends.

If you’ve been reading this series all the way through, you may agree with me that this is a sign that the worker has internalized the unsustainable expectations and toxic productivity demands of the company.

This isn’t just a problem for my friend’s co-worker. Yes, he’ll probably burn out, which will be bad for him. It’s bad for my friend (and everyone else at her level) because workers with families, non-work obligations and, y’know, lives, can’t reasonably live up to this automaton-like worker-bee behavior. Nor should they try. So, the worker who has internalized toxic productivity (and who may or may not have productivity dysmorphia), is contributing to the escalating expectations for unsustainable productivity throughout the division, even throughout the company!

In other words, he’s screwing over his colleagues, who are now left positioned between having inferiority complexes and developing productivity dysmorphia to compensate (thereby risking their own mental health, their relationships, and more) or having to leave the company feeling like failures, and the company will need to hire new workers and the cycle will begin again. Oy.

Such is the state of many modern workplaces. Terrifying, isn’t it?

And, as we have discussed over the last several weeks, a corporate structure isn’t necessary for this to take place. There’s a hustle culture out there for all of us who work on our own, solopreneurs and small business owners alike, who are cowed by common practices into believing that nothing we are doing is enough, and that we need to keep up with the Joneses (our colleagues or competitors, and not merely our neighbors) at all cost.

EMBRACE NEW VALUES AND PRINCIPLES

The drive to deliver — to produce — misses the point. I posit that as much as you may (or may not) enjoy creating, your purpose on the planet isn’t to produce documents or deliver services or create or to make money. Your purpose is to enjoy yourself and help the people you love enjoy themselves, too.

We’re here to be fulfilled, not to produce widgets, and if enough of us demand that we be treated (and treat others) as humans rather than producers, we might achieve this very thing.

This can feel like pretty hippy-dippy advice in 2022, but I stand by it.

So, first, let’s start with the wisdom high performance coach Sarah Arnold-Hall puts forth about results, not hours.

 

Now, on its own, this could create a huge feedback loop into productivity toxicity. Produce more, create more, do more! Grrrr. Arrrrrgggh. But we’re not going to do that.

Instead, we’re going to bear in mind what we learned in Toxic Productivity Part 2: How to Change Your Mindset about the necessity of downtime. Those hours when we’re not working are as important as, if not more important than, the hours we are working.

The task-positive brain network, which we use to take all of our accumulated knowledge and turn it into something useful, helps us focus our attention, arrive at solutions to problems, and confidently make decisions. But we can’t do any of that if we don’t also make use of our default mode network, the way our brain blisses out and thinks about anything except the problem at hand when we’re sleeping, resting, relaxing, and enjoying our loved ones and life.

So, once you accept that success isn’t about the hours worked but the worth of what you’ve done in those hours, you have to pivot to understanding that more and more of your hours have to be given over to the downtime that allows you to create anything worthwhile. Recognizing the finitude of life is key to that attitude change. (Remember that when you get to the end of this post!)

So, what have we learned about healthy productivity?

  • It’s not about spending all of your hours on work.
  • To make the work you do accomplish valuable, you need to change your mindset and have more downtime.
  • Downtime isn’t scrolling through TikTok or Netflix, but truly letting your brain rest and recover — through non-competitive exercise, better sleep, eschewing multitasking, increasing opportunities for a quiet mind, and asking yourself the essential questions about the life you’re currently living and how it compares to the one you truly want — as we discussed in Toxic Productivity Part 3: Get Off the To-Do List Hamster Wheel.
  • We can use the same productivity tools designed to help us overcome procrastination and get more done to slow ourselves down to the speed of life. This includes embracing better and smaller (atomic) habits, using the Pareto Principle to focus on what’s truly worthy of being a priority, employing the Pomodoro Technique and block scheduling to focus our work time and ensure our break time.


What else can we do?

CONSIDER TECHNOLOGY’S ROLE

It’s easy to think that technology is essential to productivity. Look at how much more humanity accomplished after the Industrial Revolution vs. when we had an agrarian society. How much more could we accomplish with telephones than when we had to wait for the postal service or telegrams? Certainly we got much more accomplished once we added email to our resources, right? (cough, cough) And surely we’ve reached a pinnacle of productivity now that we have Slack and Asana?

Hopefully, you detected my sarcasm. Yes, technology yields vast improvements in our ability to communicate quickly (if not always clearly, as the multigenerational confusion over emoji and whether ending sentences with periods is an insult have proven), but all of these aspects of technology have led to the always-on misery we discussed at the beginning of the series. France gets it; most of Europe gets it. The US does not yet get it.

We have an inalienable right to disconnect, but it’s going to take all of us, together, to stand up and keep secure that right. 

Communication technology is not the only problem.

Along with communication technology, these last few decades have seen a growth in productivity technology, from software and apps that help us brainstorm, assign ourselves (and others) tasks, and conquer our foibles and deficiencies in terms of procrastination, motivation, focus, capturing information, organizing our thoughts, collaborating on projects, and so on.

I am not a Luddite. I believe in the power of technology to make things easier, but sometimes we’re making the wrong things easier. Take collaboration. While Thomas Jefferson wrote the original draft of the Declaration of Independence, historians (including Pauline Maier in American Scripture: Making the Declaration of Independence) have shown how the handwritten edits suggested by the members of the Second Continental Congress became a complicated collaboration.
Declaration of Independence draft (detail with changes by Franklin)In a document listing colonial grievances against the King George III, members of the Congress made Jefferson take out references to slavery and put in references to a Supreme Being (and fishing rights). The handwriting was that of Secretary Charles Thomson; he controlled the document’s additions, deletions, and revisions requested and/or demanded by the cacophony of voices representing 13 colonies.

Now imagine that same collaborative product in Microsoft Word’s Track Changes or Google Docs’ comment section. Now multiply the different voices and competing methods listed on this Wikipedia entry listing types of collaborative software. (I’ll wait while you scroll.) If you know how to be productive in one technology, you might still be flummoxed in another. 

The number, variety, complexity, and interoperability (and lack thereof) of technology solutions can be overwhelming.

Have you ever heard about a new task app and wondered if it could be the solution to all of your troubles? Have you tried Todoist? Anydo? TeuxDeux? Remember the Milk? Things 3? Google Tasks? What about more complex productivity suites, like Basecamp? Trello? Clickup? Asana?

In case you were wondering if I’d suggest one app to rule them all, I’m afraid that’s not the case.

The truth is, the best productivity app is the one you’ll use. The one you’ll commit to learning, commit to using, and the one you won’t “cheat” on when another shiny app starts flirting. 

The truth is, the best productivity app is the one you'll use. The one you'll commit to learning, commit to using, and the one you won't 'cheat' on when another shiny app starts flirting. Share on X

Unfortunately, some productivity technology overwhelms even the most diligent users. This may be because the information we get out of our productivity technology is only as good as the information we put in, and we humans are already overwhelmed.

All of these apps, working at the speed of light (and life), can’t prioritize for us. We capture tasks with the click of a button, but we are so pressed for time (and productivity) that we fail to take the requisite moments to figure out what work has value and what is busywork.

So, are we supposed to get rid of technology altogether to combat toxic productivity?

Remember how I said I wasn’t a Luddite? Well, I’m not asking you to be one either. Chances are, if you work for a company that you don’t own, you’re stuck with some technology required by your workplace. But in the areas where you do have control over which types of technology you use, I often suggest that my clients put technology completely aside for a little while.

If you’ve got a task app or other tech that works well for you, stick with it. But if you feel beaten down and bruised by the very tech that’s supposed to keep your head above water, try slowing everything down.

  • Go analog with your time displays. Wear an analog watch, or set your fancy Apple Watch or Fitbit to display time in an analog manner. Do the same with the display for the clock app on your phone. Seeing time as it ticks by will help you appreciate the finitude of time and feel more in tune with how much you can reasonably accomplish in an hour or a day. (You might want to brush up on Back-to-School Solutions for the Space-Time Continuum for more ideas.)

  • Opt for paper over tech to learn key productivity skills. I’m a Certified Evernote Expert, so I realize all of the excellent benefits of collating your clipped websites, inbound emails, saved articles, etc., digitally, tagging them, and organizing them into notebooks. But when you’re overwhelmed, sometimes having your resources, your printed instructions, and other task-triggering action paperwork right in front of you, without need for WiFi or even electricity, can help you slow down and focus without the buzz of the digital world.

One of the many reasons I recommend tickler files for my overwhelmed clients is that learning the process of looking at task-triggering papers and making qualitative decisions (regarding priorities) and chronological decisions (regarding when you can reasonably accomplish specific tasks) is an essential skill for improving productivity in a healthy way. It’s the reason I wrote Tickle Yourself Organized.

  • Consider bullet journaling. I’ll be honest, bullet journaling stresses me out. I understand that it’s not necessary to embrace the fancy, artistic designs some people use, but the very hands-on, tangible customization options overwhelm me, and the idea is to achieve healthy productivity by removing overwhelm. But I’m not you. Hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of people swear by bullet journaling for tracking tasks and other information. They can’t all be wrong.

PULL IT ALL TOGETHER AND HALT A HUNGRY GHOST

Hopefully, over this past month, you’ve come to recognize that not only are you not a robot, but that it’s unacceptable for anyone — your company, your clients, your mother-in-law, or you — to expect non-stop labor from you.

If machines don’t operate at 100%, why do we expect so much from ourselves? 

 

You’re a living, breathing human being. But you may have a ghost in your machine.

In Brad Stulberg‘s recent post The Constant Restlessness You Feel Has a Name, he describes how many of us experience a constant grind he calls “heroic individualism.”

Heroic individualism says that you will never have enough, be enough, or do enough. It is an endless gauntlet of more. While it may lead to decent short-term performance, long-term, it is a recipe for disaster. This is because long-term fulfillment depends upon things that are inherently inefficient and unproductive, at least on acute timescales.

Sound familiar?

When you look at the ten symptoms of heroic individualism that Stulberg lays out, some of it bears a striking resemblance to toxic productivity and Anna Codreo-Rado‘s perception of productivity dysmorphia, such as:

  • Low-level anxiety and a sensation of always being rushed or in a hurry — if not physically, then mentally.
  • Not always wanting to be on, but struggling to turn it off and not feeling good when you do.
  • Feeling too busy, but also restless when you have open time and space.
  • Successful by conventional standards, yet feeling like you’re never enough.

Stulberg’s describes the Buddhist concept of the hungry ghost:

The hungry ghost has an endless stomach. He keeps on eating, stuffing himself sick, but he never feels full. It’s a severe disorder.

The modern world that so many of us inhabit depends on the creation of hungry ghosts. But you, me, all of us can choose to opt out of this game. We don’t have to become hungry ghosts. We simply need to step back and reflect upon what it is that we actually want. Simple, sure. But not necessarily easy.

To combat this hungry ghost, this toxic productivity, this productivity dysmorphia, Stulberg recommends the concept of groundnessness.

His book, The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds—Not Crushes—Your Soul, combines research from psychology, neuroscience, and sociology (as we looked at in the first three posts in this Toxic Productivity series), as well as religious and philosophical teachings from Buddhism, Taoism, and our old friend-of-Seneca, Stoicism. 

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The first of Stulberg’s five points of groundedness is having a realistic sense of where you’re starting on this journey, which I’d argue includes comprehending the role we play in letting toxic productivity into our institutions and our lives. Hopefully, this blog series has helped you on this path.

You can catch up on any part of the series here:

Toxic Productivity In the Workplace and What Comes Next

Toxic Productivity Part 2: How to Change Your Mindset

Toxic Productivity Part 3: Get Off the To-Do List Hamster Wheel 

Toxic Productivity, Part 4: Find the Flip Side of Productivity Hacks

and for other perspectives on toxic productivity, you might wish to read:

What is toxic productivity? And 5 tips to overcome it (Trello)

When Doing is Your Undoing: Toxic Productivity (Psychology Today)

Put Avoiding Toxic Productivity At The Top Of Your To-Do List (Vogue UK)

Feeling Burnt Out? Meet Toxic Productivity & Grind Culture with Rest


Thank you for coming along on this five-week tour of how we (individually and as a society) are struggling with unsustainable expectations surrounding productivity. I hope you will share these (and other Paper Doll) posts with those whom you feel the material will help.

And if you’ll pardon my indulgence after putting 15,000 words into this topic, I’d like to share part of the lyrics of my favorite song, Viena by Billy Joel, which has some wise things to say about this topic.

Slow down, you crazy child
You’re so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you’re so smart, well, tell me
Why are you still so afraid? Mm

Where’s the fire, what’s the hurry about?
You’d better cool it off before you burn it out
You’ve got so much to do
And only so many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want or you can just get old
You’re gonna kick off before you even get halfway through, ooh
When will you realize Vienna waits for you?

Posted on: July 4th, 2022 by Julie Bestry | 10 Comments

If you reside in the United States or Canada, you’re coming off the end of a long holiday weekend, an opportunity to rest, relax, and regenerate.

Do you feel relaxed? Or do you feel the itch to be accomplishing something on your to-do list? Do you feel that whatever you got done last week might not quite be enough, and that by taking an actual weekend off — not just two whole weekend days, but an extra holiday —  you’re coasting? Cheating? If so, you definitely won’t be the only one.

PREVIOUSLY ON PAPER DOLL…

Throughout this series on toxic productivity, we’ve looked at what society can do to vanquish unsustainable expectations, how we can change our outlook and mindset, and what we can physically do to loosen the ropes with which we’ve bound ourselves. Before we go any further, I encourage you to catch up on the concepts and references we’ve looked at so far:

Toxic Productivity In the Workplace and What Comes Next

Toxic Productivity Part 2: How to Change Your Mindset

Toxic Productivity Part 3: Get Off the To-Do List Hamster Wheel

We can lobby for changes in societal expectations regarding excessive corporate demands on our productivity. We can read wisdom (and get therapy) to examine how we’ve internalized toxic belief systems and developed, as Anna Codrea-Rado calls it, productivity dysmorphia.

We can even recognize the finitude, or shortness, of life, and get off the hamster wheel by adding mindfulness and rest (in terms of non-competitive exercise) and more recuperative sleep, eliminating multitasking, and digging deeply to figure out what we want out of life and who we are.

But if none of that floats your boat, even if I’ve convinced you that toxic productivity is a danger to you, your loved ones, and society, these measures may just be too hard to incorporate in the life  you’re already living. Trust me, I get it.

USING THE PRODUCTIVITY HACKS YOU KNOW AND LOVE

So, today, we’re going to look at the same productivity strategies, tactics, and “hacks” that are recommended to conquer lack of productivity — whether that’s a problem with procrastination, prioritization, or planning —and see if we can find ways to use them to stem the tide of toxic productivity.

Start At the Atomic Level

In James Clear‘s Atomic Habits, he posits that all of our outcomes — our productivity (for good or ill), our self-care, our financial state — are a “lagging result” of our habits. In other words, there’s a cumulative effect of what we do that, when repeated over and over, leads to where we’ve arrived.

To achieve what we want, Clear believes that we generally either try to change our habits in the wrong way, or we try to change the wrong things. Clear notes that we approach things in three ways:

  • We try to change our outcomes (achieve more work, make more money, lose a certain amount of weight).
  • We try to change our habits.
  • We try to change our identities — including our belief systems, our views of the world, and our self-images.
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Heady stuff. But it doesn’t work.

Clear’s approach is to flip the order and the magnitude of these strategies, and start by building identity-based habits, focusing on who we aspire to be (the non-smoker, the half-marathon runner, the person who can feel proud of their work output without working ourselves to death), and making itty-bitty, teeny-weeny changes at the atomic level (think of atoms, or even sub-atomic particles, not atomic as in “big boom bomb”).

To Clear’s mind, starting with these small steps helps you make the leap from “I’m the kind of person who wants be X” to “I am the kind of person who does X” to “I’m the type of person who is X.” (No, unfortunately, it will not help make Paper Doll a ballerina.)

From a productivity perspective, Clear builds on the now-famous research of Charles Duhigg in The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business.

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That research focused on four stages: Cue, Craving, Response, and Reward. From a toxic productivity perspective, the cue may be some kind of request in our inbox or voicemail, or even seeing what one of our colleagues is doing, and feeling like we have to learn to emulate that behavior.

That feeling of “Ooooh, my successful colleague just started a YouTube channel and is getting all of this attention. I want to feel respected and admired, so I need to add videos to my repertoire of what I deliver to the world.”

The response in this case might be you buying video equipment, writing scripts, and pushing yourself beyond your capacity to start developing these videos, and the reward might be the sense of achievement of having completed it. You’ve satisfied that craving! Yay!

Wait, yay? Are you sure?

Rewards are supposed to teach us which cues and cravings will make us feel good. But remember what we said a few weeks ago about the hedonic treadmill, how you get used to a certain level of productivity and thus no longer feel any level of excitement or satisfaction? Time after time, your automatic process of building your habits may be contributing to your sense of productivity dysmorphia!

So, how can we use Clear’s ideas to help us create better habits that will separate ourselves from toxic productivity? Clear’s book is too packed with wisdom for me to cover its value in a blog post, but here are two methods to try, based on his teachings. His guidance is in bold type.

To embrace healthier habits that will get you away from the cues to keep working:

Make It Obvious — If you want to get in the habit of taking a walking break at lunch, put your lunch bag (or wallet) on top of your walking shoes.

Make It Attractive — Arrange to take a yoga class or go for an adult beverage (or ice cream, or an afternoon tea) with a good friend. Make taking a break social to remind you of when your life was fun. Then do fun stuff! 

Make It Easy — Block time on your schedule for non-work things so nobody can steal your self-care by making a Calendly request for time that isn’t available. That person will never know that you’re not in some other “productive” meeting.

Make It Satisfying — Make those get-off-the-hamster-wheel experiences delightful; if you’re an introvert, don’t schedule social things that will steal your energy, and if you’re a hiker, don’t book a yoga class because it seems socially preferable. You do you, boo!

To break your bad (toxic) productivity habits and get off that hamster wheel of constantly feeling like your value depends on your output: 

Make It Invisible — To reduce your exposure so you don’t experience the cues to constantly feel like you’re not doing enough, reduce your attention to requests when you don’t need to deal with them. Turn off your notifications unless you’re waiting for a particular response. Stop checking your email every 15 minutes; check it in the morning, right after lunch, and about an hour before the end of the day. Otherwise, focus on your priorities, not other people’s.

Yep, this is the same advice I’d give you if I were encouraging you to be more productive; the point isn’t to be less productive, per se, but to feel less driven by those cues to feel like your value equals your productivity!

Make It Unattractive — The point here is to re-adjust your mindset (as we discussed in the second post in this series). You want to accent the benefits and importance of avoiding the bad habits (of working through lunch, checking email when your kid is talking to you, etc.). Maybe a photo posting your last blood pressure test or the lyrics to Cats In the Cradle will remind you of what hyperfocusing on productivity costs you. (Wait, you don’t know that song? Grab a tissue!)

Make It Difficult — This is about increasing friction so it’s harder to work long hours and feel obligated to keep going when you’re completely wrung out. Set your computer to turn off every day at 5 (or 6 p.m., or 4:30 p.m.). Delete one-third to one-half of the available time slots from your appointment scheduling software. Prioritize yourself on the schedule (and see the time-blocking section, below).

Make It Unsatisfying — You know what makes you tick. Would the social cringe of failing to knock off work and go home (after you’d promised to do so) do the trick? For good or ill, the fear of disappointing your spouse might not be enough, but support from an accountability partner, someone without the guarantee of unconditional love? Could work!

Normally, we’d use accountability to get us working, but sometimes, having a body-double for the “last hour” of the day will ensure we shut down when we need to. If that’s the case for you, reread Count on Accountability: 5 Productivity Support Solutions for some key ways to get help honoring your goal to respect yourself, your time, and your value.

Two P’s Against One: Conquer Toxic Productivity With the Pareto Principle and the Pomodoro Technique

There are two popular strategies in the productivity realm we experts apply to help people not only achieve more, but more of the right thing. Sneakily, these two concepts can also help you get off that hedonic treadmill.

Let’s start with the Pareto Principle, which you might know as the 80/20 Rule. It comes from a theory of economics that says that 80% of outcomes come from 20% of causes, and it’s been found that 80% of successes come from 20% of efforts or sources. This is one of those weird concepts that while not always perfectly true, is surprisingly accurate.

Freelancers will find that 80% of their money comes from 20% of their client base. All those toys your kids are actually playing with (and the apps on your phone that you actually use)? About 20% of them are what’s yielding the most activity.

Use the Pareto Principle to figure out what of the work you’re doing is actually the vital work. The deep work (in the words of Cal Newport). The meaningful work. The work that appears in the Eisenhower Matrix’s “important and urgent” quadrant!

Look at your list of everything you accomplished today. Wait, you don’t know what you did?

You probably added “done” things to the to-do things so you could cross them off. But if not, look at your outbound emails, your calendar, your “recent documents” and “recent spreadsheets.” Going forward, you might track your time with an analog list on paper or software like Toggl or Rescue Time.

Look at everything you’re doing and measure the value — is it financially remunerative (does it pay?!), is it helping you grow professionally or personally, is it emotionally rewarding? It’s very likely you’ll find that the vast majority of your work’s value is coming from 20% (OK, or even 30% or 40%) of your output.

Use the Pareto Principle to give yourself permission (there’s another P-word!) to stop doing everything! With luck, you’ll be able to appreciate all that you have accomplished, focus less on what you didn’t complete, and eliminate a bit more of that productivity dysmorphia

Next, let’s look at the Pomodoro Technique, developed by Francesco Cirillo. We’ve discussed this many times on the pages of Paper Doll, most recently in Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? 5 Strategies to Cope With Pandemic Time Dilation, but at it’s most reductive, you decide what you want to work on, you set a timer for 25 minutes, and you work on just that thing until the timer goes off. Then take a break.

This is another tactic we productivity gurus use to help clients get their butts in the chair; to conquer inertia, we encourage someone try just five minutes (on the treadmill, writing a blog post, studying a chapter), and more often than not, this is enough to get someone over the hump and keep the mojo going.

However, the Pomodoro Technique also works to dissipate toxic productivity because breaks are built in. In usual circumstances, the Pomodoro-er is thinking, “Sigh, OK, I have to do this. But in 25 minutes I get to take a break.” To the person who struggles to let go of their sense of worthiness being tied to their output, being forced to take a break is a real eye-opener! Permission to stop working is one thing; being required to stop is a much bigger deal!

For more on the Pomodoro Technique:

Take It From Someone Who Hates Productivity Hacks—the Pomodoro Technique Actually Works

The Pomodoro Technique

Explore Being a Kid Again: See How Playing with Blocks Can Flummox Toxic Productivity

We’ve already talked a lot about time blocking. Your best bet is to review:

Playing With Blocks: Success Strategies for Time Blocking Productivity

Struggling To Get Things Done? Paper Doll’s Advice & The Task Management & Time Blocking Virtual Summit 2022

Paper Doll Shares Secrets from the Task Management & Time Blocking Summit 2022

How to Use Block Scheduling to Revamp Your Workflow (Wired)

Usually, when we discuss time blocking, we’re trying to fit as much into our limited, valuable, time as possible, to make sure we create homes for all the work that’s necessary to do. But we’ve already established that not everything we’re doing is of equal value.

When we want to circumvent toxic productivity, reduce busy-ness in favorite of doing our most important work, and get a hearty mix of what we discussed back in the second week, we need to think about our brains!

In that post, I explained that using our central executive network (think: executive function, not CEOs), or task-positive brain network, activates to help us use our memories of previously-acquired information to comprehend new information, focus our attention, come up with solutions, and make decisions.

But our brains also need to operate in the default mode network — it’s what your brain is thinking about when nobody’s expecting anything from you.

What does that have to do with time blocking? Simple — block time to do all those things we talked about in Toxic Productivity Part 3: Get Off the To-Do List Hamster Wheel that turn active the brain off for a little while. Just blocking your time, without considering downtime, will let you get a lot done, maybe even the right stuff done, but it won’t reduce that drive to be “always on.”

In his July 3rd email, How to Be a Productivity Ninja author Graham Allcott talked three ways to use his attention: to create, to collaborate, and to chill.

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When you block your time, “create” is going to be anything that achieves that deep work, that 20ish% of effort to yield the 80ish% of success. Allcott says, “When I’m in Create mode, my mindset is disciplined, closed and distraction-free.”

“Collaborate” is as you’d guess, all of those meetings and calls and emails, those Zooms and those moments you’re in shared documents. And it’s the collaboration (whether anticipated or unanticipated) that often steals the time we need to spend on the other two C’s.

And, obviously, “chill” is about engaging the default mode network by disengaging from the task-positive brain network. 

When you put together your time blocks, be sure to consider all three elements. Balancing your creative and collaborative time with your chilling time will help your step off the hamster wheel and live a healthier, more fulfilled, and less toxic life.

 

Give yourself a break. Give yourself some grace. Give yourself a more organized space, more planning time on the calendar, and more opportunities to “win” by not expecting so damned much of yourself.


With so much to consider regarding toxic productivity, there’s actually one more post to round out the series. We’ll be looking at how tools, whether analog or digital, can help or hinder us as we seek to reduce the toxicity of our productivity. And then we’ll close with a little philosophizing and sum up all we’ve discussed.

Until then, I hope you’ve found some of this helpful to reduce any of the unwelcome stress you may feel as you approach the second half of this year.

Posted on: June 20th, 2022 by Julie Bestry | 14 Comments

Last week, in Toxic Productivity in the Workplace and What Comes Next, we addressed systemic toxic productivity, when the workplace demands a seemingly endless series of achievements, undue (and unreciprocated) loyalty, and more of one’s heart, soul, and time than is reasonable. We also touched on the concept of personal toxic productivity, or productivity dysmorphia.

Going forward, we’re going to look at what we can do to give ourselves some grace and separate our productivity from our identity. Today, we’re focused on changing the way we think about ourselves and what we accomplish.

But first, let’s look at three stories that illustrate what toxic productivity is not.

WHAT TOXIC PRODUCTIVITY IS NOT

Story #1: At the end of April, my delightful colleague Linda Samuels wrote a blog post entitled How to Successfully Let Go Now Even If It’s Only For Today. In that post, she described how she enjoys getting things accomplished and often feels compelled to do so. She had a list of what she intended to accomplish on that particular Sunday, but was beckoned by the beautiful spring wearther and instead enjoyed a day in nature with her husband. In my blog comment, I gently teased her:

LOL, I’m glad you let go, but I think I see your problem right away, Linda. You had a to-do list for a Sunday. Sunday is the weekend. You’re not supposed to DO anything on the weekends except eat, play, and be entertained in the first place! 😉 No housework, no work-work, just enjoying yourself. I’m glad you let go; now we need to help you plan letting go as your weekend task so you don’t even try to work!

Linda is not an example of toxic productivity. She’s self-driven, but she also knows how and when to let go and grant herself buffer time to enjoy life.

Story #2: Another colleague (we’ll call her X), is a real go-getter. She had been working to create a virtual course, but has not yet made it go live because she’s so busy with her client load and is booked through the end of the summer. Disappointed that she hasn’t completed this combined educational/marketing tool, we’ve pointed out that the whole purpose of making people aware of one’s expertise is to get clients, and she already has more clients than spaces on the calendar! The girl is in serious demand! 

Meanwhile, a few months back, X contracted COVID. Luckily, she had very mild symptoms, but of course she was quarantining. With no work to do, she headed outside and spent her quarantine weeding her garden! (Apparently, X didn’t know that the only acceptable reaction to being ill is to mope, wear fuzzy socks, and intersperse reading trashy magazines with bingeing guilty pleasure TV!)

X is also not an example of toxic productivity. She’s a product of a particular cultural background that especially prizes hard work and efficiency, but she also enjoys vacationing with her husband and entertaining friends around her pool.

Story #3: My BFF is a full-on, leaning-in career woman now that her children are all grown, but I recall a time when, for the 43rd conversation in a row, I was giving her a hard time about working so hard. She was raising four kids, volunteering in many realms, and though she had a bad case of bronchitis, was — as I was speaking with her on the phone — making cupcakes for a school bake sale!

As only a BFF can push, I pointed out that 1) she was sick and did not need to be doing anything for anyone else, 2) she could have sent her husband to the store to buy cupcakes, and 3) nobody wanted her bronchitis-germy cupcakes anyway! (I’m sure my voice went up three octaves by the time I got to the end of my diatribe.)

If I didn’t know better, I might think my BFF might be an example of toxic productivity. But she’s actually an example of systemic expectations of mental load, emotional labor, and American women unintentionally embracing the societal view that a woman’s value is based on what she does for others. (For superb writing on how to counter this, check out Emotional Labor: Why A Woman’s Work Is Never Done and What To Do About It, by my colleagues Regina Lark and Judith Kolberg.) 

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So, toxic productivity isn’t always what it seems. But also, what you do is not who you are.

REVISITING PRODUCTIVITY DYSMORPHIA

Last week, I referenced Anna Codrea-Rado piece, What is Productivity Dysmorphia?, for Refinery 29. In it, Codrea-Rado, a successful author, pointed out some of the hallmarks of productivity dysmorphia as she experiences it and as others have described it:

  • a difficulty experiencing pride in one’s accomplishments
  • a focus on what could have done better or what more could have accomplished
  • a disconnect between objective achievements (what you might put down on your “have done” list) and emotions about those accomplishments

Codrea-Rado says of productivity dysmorphia that:

It is ambition’s alter ego: the pursuit of productivity spurs us to do more while robbing us of the ability to savour any success we might encounter along the way. 

In particular, I was intrigued that by Codrea-Rado interview with Dr. Jacinta M. Jiménez about hedonic adaption. Usually, we talk about hedonic adaption, or the hedonic treadmill, in terms of our desire for tangible things.

In the famous story of Diderot’s dressing gown, the French philosopher was gifted a fancy robe to replace a tatty one. As Diderot got used to his new dressing gown, he came to see his sense of self as defined by its finery. He felt dissatisfaction with his older possessions and began of spiral of 18th century keeping-up-with-the-Joneses consumerism, replacing the perfectly good items associated with his old life and going into debt to keep up with the identity of the new

Hedonic adaption applied to the sense of one’s productivity is compelling. Like Diderot and his dressing gown, the more we accomplish, the more we expect of ourselves, and the more we build our identities on a foundation of being the kind of person who accomplishes things. Initially, we may delight in what we have already done, but soon the new “finery” of our most recent client acquisition, business coup, or media exposure becomes the baseline, and we hunger to accomplish more and more (as we appreciate our successes less and less).

Of course, there’s more to all of this, as Codrea-Rado’s piece shows: gender, race, class, mental health, neurology, and how society views performance within and across groups all determine how we view (and mischaracterize) our own performance. There’s no wonder that a tweet like this might resonate.

 

And it’s also no wonder that there’s finally a backlash against a culture that promotes productivity above all, as seen in books like Jenny Odell’s How To Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy and pieces like The Frustration With Productivity Culture in The New Yorker.

HOW TO CHANGE THE PRODUCTIVITY MINDSET

So, what can we do to approach being productive in a way that’s healthier for society and for ourselves? I’m a professional organizer, not a mental health professional, so the first thing I recommend when I’m working with clients to help them be productive on their own terms is to listen.

Each person’s story is unique, and the solutions for finding the right combination of tools and solutions to “right-size” their productivity is going to be unique, too. We start where they are.

That said, I’m a big believer in recommending therapy if someone’s sense of self doesn’t reflect objective reality. But beyond a therapeutic approach, any and all of the following may prove fruitful in achieving a healthy productivity mindset.

Debunk the Common Myths About Productivity

There’s a lot of bad productivity advice out there, and a lot if it will make you feel bad about yourself. For example, there are oodles of articles, podcasts, and books telling you that if you want to accomplish the goals you set, you have to rise early in the morning, to which I say:

PIFFLE!

I have been a night-owl since childhood. My creativity comes alive at night. My clients know that my brainpower increases as the day goes on. (And I write all of these Paper Doll posts in the post-midnight hours.) Before 10 a.m., I’m cranky and poorly disposed to craft a useful sentence.

So, productivity myths abound.

I suggest you start with this excellent article Linda Samuels shared with me, Your Productive Brain, by Dr. Dean Burnett with the BBC Science Focus. From the time you awaken, to the claim that “we all have the same 24 hours” (which I’ve previously debunked here, often), to the false equivalency between busy-ness and productivity, the piece is eye-opening.

Chances are that if your identity is based in how much you accomplish, you might have trouble embracing the idea of doing less? But what if science told you that that would be the best way to get more done, or at least more done well?

Jay Dixit’s piece in NeuroLeadership entitled We’re Doing Downtime Wrong explains that cognition depends on two different brain networks. The central executive network (think: executive function, not CEOs), or task-positive brain network, activates to help us use our memories of previously-acquired information to comprehend new information, focus our attention, come up with solutions, and make decisions.

But this aspect of our brain doesn’t work alone! The other is the default mode network — it’s what your brain is thinking about when nobody’s expecting anything from you. (So, for Paper Doll, that would be either Reese Peanut Butter Cups or Doctor Who.) And we NEED this network if we want to be creative! That’s why, when we’re having trouble solving a problem and we go away to take a shower or go for a walk, the answer seems to magically come to us!

Light Bulb Moment Photo by Pixabay

We need downtime for our brains to make those big, creative leaps. All work and no play makes Jack and Jill decidedly dull kiddos.

So, if you focus all of your attention on being productive because your identity is forged in what you accomplish, you might want to remind yourself (until you gain a more healthy self-image) that getting stuff done (well) requires periodically doing nothing

This only touches on one part of the NeuroLeadership piece. We’ll be coming back to it next week when we look at physical, tangible ways we can change our responses to toxic productivity.

Embrace a Completely New Philosophy of Work…

I was intrigued by How To Care Less About Work by Charlie Warzel and Anne Helen Petersen in The Atlantic. The piece ties what we discussed last week, regarding how corporatized expectations of our productivity can help determine (and warp) our sense of our own value to the solutions individuals can take to reconfigure how we see the value of work as just one part (and not the most important part) of life.

Without calling it toxic productivity, as such, Warzel and Peterson recognize that we are all, collectively, having a bit of angst these days, these years. Instead of the quarter-life crisis everyone was worried about a few decades ago, it seems we’re all having what the authors call “the existential crisis of personal value.”

And in response, we’re all trying to be as productive as possible, whether we are working for others (as described last week) and being squeezed dry of our creativity and humanity, or if we are solopreneurs, self-employed, and small business owners doing it to ourselves, all in the hope that we will discover what Warzel and Peterson eloquently call our “purpose, dignity, and security.”

Oy. 

The piece makes several points, but I keep returning to one central question the authors ask: Who would you be if work was no longer the axis of your life?

The authors also invite readers to consider a time when work meant things done at work, for pay — recall being a newspaper carrier or a restaurant server, where labor had a distinct end point. Then they ask, what did you do with your unscheduled time, just because it was what you liked to do? And to clarify, they note they are asking about what you did…

Not because it would look interesting if you posted it on social media, or because it somehow optimized your body, or because it would give you better things to talk about at drinks, but because you took pleasure in it.

I don’t know about you, dear readers, but this sure gave me pause.

Child on Bike at Sunset Photo by Clark Young on Unsplash

They continue:

Once you figure out what that thing is, see if you can recall its contours. Were you in charge? Were there achievable goals or no goals at all? Did you do it alone or with others? Was it something that really felt as if it was yours, not your siblings’? Did it mean regular time spent with someone you liked? Did it involve organizing, creating, practicing, following patterns, or collaborating? See if you can describe, out loud or in writing, what you did and why you loved it. Now see if there’s anything at all that resembles that experience in your life today.

From these questions, Warzel and Peterson stand in for the therapists and encourage the embrace of those joyous things. Not Arts & Crafts to develop a side hustle for Etsy but for the radical delight of painting or drawing or fiddling with crayons and pipe cleaners and sparkly glue. Not biking to get a count for your Fitbit or fill the rings on your Apple Watch, but for the sheer joy of the wind in your hair. Not dancing because it burns calories or to get likes on your TikTok version of Lizzo’s latest song, but because of the sheer exuberance it brings you.

Consider the possibility that what you are when you are working is not who you are, or at least not all that you are. And not to put words in the authors’ mouths, but find your bliss. Find your crayons on pipe cleaners.

…or Embrace a Completely New Philosophy of Life

Last year, I read Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. Combining psychology, ancient and modern philosophy, spirituality, and a bit of popular culture, it slaps a reality check on the constantly turning wheels of productivity culture.

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Burkeman invites us to embrace “finitude” — the understanding of the shortness of life.* Starting from the premise that, given an average life span of 80 years, he notes that we have just 4000 weeks, give or take, on the planet. As you approach week 3972 or so, do you really think you’ll look back and be unalterably happy that you spent most of those weeks doing TPS reports (yes, another Office Space reference) or making cold calls or quantifying your worth in checked-off boxes or bank balances?

In the book, Burkeman posits some questions that I think most of us who dabble with productivity dysmorphia might find mind-blowing:

  • Is it possible you are holding yourself (and others) to impossible standards?
  • Are you holding yourself back from doing certain things you really want to do because you don’t think you are smart enough, experienced enough, talented enough, or just plain enough?
  • Are you doing what you are doing because you’re trying to be the person you think others expect you to be? Or the person you’re “supposed” to be (as if that were even a thing)?
  • How would you live your life, your years, your days differently if you stopped focusing on what you achieve.

Pretty heady stuff, eh? Nobody is saying run off to the beach to be the next Gidget or Moondoggie (oh, gee, is anyone under 50 going to get that reference?), but perhaps we shouldn’t center our achievements, especially if we’re having trouble appreciating them in the first place.

Burkeman avoids providing productivity hacks, but he does have some atypical advice for living with an appreciation of the finitude of life. Some are obvious — get rid of the technology (like social media) that doesn’t add to the joy of your life, not because it steals time from what you accomplish, but because it steals time from what makes you happy.

Burkeman also recommends some pretty philosophical tasks that can’t be quantified, which has the benefit of taking you off the productivity merry-go-round. For example, we know that the brain appreciates novelty; we remember what happens on vacations because everything is out of the ordinary. So, he recommends avoiding routine (the things we productivity experts often praise) and seeking novelty in the “mundanity of life.”

He also suggests building a habit of instantaneous generosity, wherein you act on thoughts of doing a kindness in the moment when you think of it. It’s certainly the opposite of the advice we usually see about maintaining focus on our tasks. But again, we’re trying to improve our life satisfaction rather than our joy in ticking one more task off of our to-do list.

*Does “the shortness of life” sound familiar? In On the Shortness of Life, Stoic philosopher Seneca wrote, “It’s not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste so much of it.” 

In case you assumed (as I did) that the Stoic philosophers were all Spock-like and devoid of emotion (based on a common (mis)understanding of the usual meaning for “stoic,”) I’ve got some delightful news for you. The Stoics, and Seneca in particular, offer up great advice for coping with life and making it feel like more than just a race to the finish line. David Fideler’s Breakfast with Seneca: A Stoic Guide to the Art of Living is a great place to start for an ancient approach to our modern productivity mindset problem.

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Consider This Baby Step for Adjusting Your Productivity Mindset

Matt Haig, the author of some truly compelling novels like The Midnight Library and How to Stop Time has written a remarkable book I turn to time and again. It’s called The Comfort Book, and I’d recommend it to anyone who is dealing with depression or anxiety, or a broken heart or a moment (or several) of doubt, or the experience of living in the 21st century. 

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 As I was preparing this post, what Haig wrote about “Being, Not Doing” felt particularly apt.

You don’t need to exhaust yourself trying to find your own value. You are not an iPhone needing an upgrade. Your value is not a condition of productivity or exercise or body shape or something you lose via inactivity. Value is not a plate to be continually spun. The value is there. It is intrinsic, innate. It is in the “being” not the “doing.”

“You are not an iPhone needing an upgrade.” Damn, Matt Haig, that’s good.

As we part ways until next time, if you hold onto one thought during the internal struggle over how much you’re getting done: It’s in the being, not the doing.


As this series continues, we’re going to be looking at specific ways we can change our physical actions to help our brains accommodate a different view of our productivity. This will include focus, sleep, silence, nature, walking, companionship, technology (and the absence of it), and more.

And in the final installment, we will circle back around to productivity techniques. Not hacks. Not ways to get more done in less time so that you can cross the finish line to then do something else productive. Rather, we’ll look at some modern productivity science and so we can complete what is essential and then walk away from doing and focus on being.

Until then, please feel free to share your thoughts about the dark side of personal productivity.