Paper Doll

Posted on: March 25th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 12 Comments

Do you ever think about all the different flavors of clutter?

A few years ago, I wrote The Boo-Hoo Box: Organizing Painful Clutter.

In that post, as a precursor to discussing the kinds of heartbreaking clutter people keep, I introduced some of the major categories of clutter, and this is worthy of a review as we explore today’s topic.

CATEGORIES OF CLUTTER

When working with my organizing clients, we tend to identify six different kinds of clutter (though these are only the main ones — there are others).

  1. Practical clutter — These are things that are useful, in and of themselves, like clothing, bedding, or kitchen implements. It’s not that we don’t need these things, but we generally don’t need so many (black skirts, frying pans) and we need to let go when specific items no longer suit our needs. 
  2. Informational clutter — We keep documents and clippings, whether on paper or digitally, because we believe the information is valuable. The problem is that we rarely go back to consider how valuable something is now vs. when we acquired it, and we tend not to think about whether it might be better to eliminate (outdated) information, digitize it, or access the information anew via the internet to reduce the bulk.
  3. Identity clutter — Sometimes, the clutter we keep is an excess of items that we feel help define us. Our clutter may not be useful (in a practical sense) but we perceive it as useful for defining who we are or who we wish to be seen as. Our clutter might say, “I’m the kind of person who runs marathons [or wins spelling bees or bakes from scratch].”
  4. Aspirational clutter — This type of clutter accounts for all of the items in your space which support hobbies you tell yourself that you are going to take up, but never really do. Whether you are saving a closet full of fancy papers and Cricut gadgets for the day when you finally decide to become a scrapbooker or amass shelves of books on the topic of “How To [train championship Greyhounds, write a novel, become a successful crypotocurrency miner],” there comes a point when you’ve got to recognize that you have an excess of items supporting a life you don’t really lead.
  5. Nostalgic clutter — Nostalgia is defined as “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.” Obviously, life is made better by the things that truly remind us of happy (or happier) times, but an excess of nostalgic emblems of our past can fill up our homes in the present and prevent us from having space in our lives to make a future. Sometimes, we just have to take photos of those ancient macaroni art projects and discard the originals, letting them crumble in peace.
    An excess of nostalgic emblems of our past can fill up our homes in the present and prevent us from having space in our lives to make a future. Click To Tweet
  6. Painful or sad clutter — This category encompasses things that remind us of bad times or bad people

Break-Up Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Clients tend to have a good handle on both practical and informational clutter. Someone might save useful things that they used in the past (or acquire in the present) because they might be useful now or in the future; the same is true of clippings or online information in case they might be desired later.

Identity clutter, nostalgic clutter, and painful clutter is almost always about the past. But as we’ll see, aspirational clutter is about the future.

WHAT KIND OF CLUTTER IS IT REALLY?

Too often, we think of clutter as if it were a monolith. Yes, a house full of clutter is daunting, but identifying what kind of clutter something is helps us determine why we’re holding onto it so we can (eventually) confidently let it go.

I do prospective client consultations by phone; this gives me a chance to get to know what a client may need and helps them determine whether they like my philosophy and can bear my goofy sense of humor. Early on, I ask them to describe what kinds of clutter they have.

I’m not looking for a hierarchy or categorization, just a sense of what “stuff” is bothering them. Usually, I hear something like: too many clothes that don’t fit (or don’t fit in the closet); outgrown children’s toys; an overwhelm of papers, books, and digital media. This gives me an idea of the tangible items needing attention. However, once in people’s homes, I’m able to see that clutter is not so simple.

For example, a closet filled with maternity clothes may reflect that that a client has spent a number of years bearing and raising kids. If she’s in her 30s, this may just be practical clutter. She’s been pregnant one or more times, acquired clothing through shopping and gifts, and hasn’t yet winnowed the collection down. However, if the woman is older, perhaps in her 50s or 60s (and her own children are already having babies), she may be holding onto the clothing out of a strong sense of nostalgia, remembering fondly when her family was small (but growing) and possibilities were endless.

It’s even possible that now that her children are adults, she may feel adrift and unneeded. At this point, all of the maternity clothes can be identity clutter, items that people hold onto out of fear of becoming unmoored from their identities. If the woman’s sense of self is closely tied to being a mom, the idea of letting go of those clothes may feel very much like letting go of one’s sense of self. Until a client is prompted to discuss the possessions in question, the category of clutter may not yet be clear.

I recently spoke with an older couple who were hoping to downsize in advance of an eventual move to senior living. When I asked them to describe how they felt about downsizing, the husband recounted that every time he thought about letting go of materials related to his career and hobbies, it made him feel like they (and now he) lacked worth.

Ouch. That showed incredible self-awareness on his part, as well as a pain point. I gently asked him to consider that his identity exists in his memory and in the memories of all who worked with him and knew him.

His adult daughter, also on the call, riffed on some things we’d discussed earlier about donating items, and reminded him that these could be a living legacy if donated to an organization related to his former profession; his materials could find a new life with someone who needs them rather than just rusting away in a storage unit, unused and unnoticed. His identity could actually get refreshed through possessions finding a new life as something other than clutter.

Proud possessions from the past can become clutter in the present and the future, but self-awareness and analysis can open our eyes to options and opportunities.

ASPIRATIONAL CLUTTER VS. INSPIRATIONAL CLUTTER

This brings us to considering things we have acquired (and continue to acquire) for the future.

After a client and I discussed painful clutter and how the Boo-Hoo Box can counter emotional pain, she mentioned that she had a lot of items she’d purchased to inspire her to overcome emotional distress. She said that what I called aspirational, she considered inspirational. It’s a great point, and I think it might be helpful to look at how aspirational and inspirational clutter can be similar and how they are different.

Aspirational Clutter

The way I look at it, aspirational clutter is made up of items that support hobbies or activities you tell yourself that you are going to take up, but never really do. They’re gathering dust. It’s clutter because they can be used, but you aren’t using them. Examples include:

  • Crafting and art supplies — Over the years, I’ve visited a lot of clients homes where cabinets and even rooms are overflowing with yarn and needlework supplies, boxed up sewing machines, canvases, paints and brushes, and packaged art projects. They’re bought with the aspiration of tapping into creativity and expressing artistic talents. But so many people accumulate art supplies without actually dedicating time to create art.

  • Exercise equipment and fitness devices — From gyms to treadmills and Pelotons to fitness trackers, they exist because we aspire to be fit and svelte. Gym memberships can be financial clutter; home equipment and trackers might be tangible clutter. We buy them because we aspire to improve our physical health and believe they’ll get us to work out and track our activity. But if we never unbox the trackers or walk on the treadmills and end up using the equipment to hang cute workout clothes we wear (but don’t work out in), it’s aspirational clutter.
  • Gardening supplies — Got pots? Seeds? Trowels and knee pads and garden storage? Oh, my! Do you aspire to cultivate a green thumb or make everyone in the neighborhood association green with envy? If you never slice open those seed packets or remove the price tags from the tools, you’ll make your self green around the gills with how much you’ve spent on untouched aspirational clutter.
  • Outdoor gear — My sister once had a blind date lean across the table and ask, “Don’t you just love camping?” No, she did not. We do not. But some people would be better off buying stock in REI rather than throwing down money on bikes, boats, hiking gear, camping equipment. Do you aspire to be an outdoorsman or outdoorswoman but never make the time or take the first step to go outside? 

I love this Anne Taintor card, sold by Quiltinia. You can also get magnets at Artworks.

  • Clothes that don’t fit your life — I went through a stage where every time I went shopping, I tried on little black dresses, suitable for fancy dinner parties. But I never went to dinner parties. I was craving a wardrobe for an imaginary life to which I aspired. (TV in the 1970s and 1980s set me up for thinking I’d be going to a lot of dinner parties, even Mary Richards’ famously bad ones!)
  • Musical instruments — When digging through client’s basements or closets, I find dusty electric keyboards or drum sets, or out of tune pianos. Having the intention of learning an instrument (or revisiting childhood lessons) is understandable, but if you never get an instructor, schedule lessons, or practice, it’s an unfulfilled aspiration.
  • Cooking gadgets — I get it. The pandemic made everyone aspire to be a sourdough artiste. But if you’ve got a plethora of bread machines and pasta makers, and drawers bulging with immersion thingies, but you order Door Dash every night, your plan of becoming the next Barefoot Contessa might be a pipe dream.
  • Language education tools
  • Photography equipment
  • Travel Gear

These last three tend to go together. People buy books, recordings, and software courses to learn foreign languages. They purchase luggage and compression cubes, plus all manner of travel guides, to use on those trips where they impress the populace with their fluency in the native language. And oh, the cameras, lenses, and accessories they buy with the intention of learning about f-stops and taking social media influencer-level photos on those trips. 

But if they never practice the language, figure out how the photo equipment works, or book the trips, it’s all just layers of aspirations that go unachieved. Shopping provides that dopamine hit that scratches the itch in our novelty- and reward-seeking brains. But when purchases go ignored, the clutter sneers at us.

(Aspirational clutter is a close cousin of nostalgic or identity clutter. If you formerly used something and keep it to maintain a happy connection to the past or how you see yourself, it could be nostalgia- or identity-driven, but if you’ve never used it at all, that’s purely aspirational.)

Inspirational Clutter

If aspirational clutter is “stuff” that supports who you’d be if you’d do something, inspirational clutter is the tangible reflection of ways to motivate you not to do a specific activity, but to live a “better” way. Inspirational clutter is (usually) commercially-created and message-oriented, designed to make you live out certain values: 

  • Motivational posters and wall art — If it features an inspirational quote or affirmations and reminds you to “Live, Laugh, Love,” but it’s gathering dust in the closet or you’ve stopped even noticing it on the walls, it’s inspirational clutter.

Cluttered Wall of Inspirational Clutter Photo by Mikechie Esparagoza

  • Calendars, sticky notes, and affirmation cards – Ditto. All the positive, empowering, and encouraging messages in the world, no matter where you stick them (if you’ll pardon the expression) start to become like wallpaper (or “parsley”) if you don’t notice them.

  • Self-help and personal development books — Obviously, as a published author myself, I believe in the power of books that focus on organizing, productivity, self-improvement, personal growth, etc. But buying the latest Brené Brown book and leaving it unread on the bedside table won’t really inspire you. It will mock you.
  • Spiritual or religious books and recordings — My clients often own recordings of sermons from their houses of worship (or, quite often, family members’ houses of worship, sent to them with kind intent). The content of the material is inspirational, but there is nothing inspiring about old cassettes, DVDs, or prayer group handouts collecting dust in random corners. Words unread or unheard are meaningless.
  • Mindfulness apps — Digital motivational clutter could be its own category. Whether it’s an app for guided meditation, relaxation techniques, or mindfulness exercises, if you’ve never even signed in because it requires setting up yet another password, what does it inspire? 
  • Blank journals — Wow, people buy (and get gifted) a lot of blank journals. Although I’ve never been able to get the hang of journaling, the research is clear that writing by hand, whether gratitude journals or Julia Cameron’s morning pages, has the positive effect of fostering optimism. But piles of blank notebooks (ignored year after year) foster nothing but dead trees!

Gratitude Journal Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

  • Seminar notes — You can gain tremendous insights at workshops, seminars, and personal development conferences. If going to these events inspires you, keep going! But whether you painstakingly take notes you never look at again or buy the workbooks and lesson plans the speakers and coaches sell, if they are still shrink-wrapped years or decades later, free yourself from the obligation to go through them “someday.”

HOW DO ASPIRATIONAL AND INSPIRATIONAL CLUTTER COMPARE?

There are definite similarities between the two types of clutter.

Perceived Value — Sure, there’s monetary value. You (or someone) spent money on this stuff. But there’s also the value you place on their potential to bring you closer to the life you want to live.

Aspirational clutter (before you recognize it as clutter) holds potential for doing, while inspirational clutter is valued for its anticipated ability to change how you think, feel, and (possibly) act.

Emotional Attachment — Both types of clutter have emotional heft, and decluttering without dealing with the underlying issues can lead to emotional distress.

Aspirational clutter may represent ambitions or dreams that have never been fulfilled, and letting go of the items before reckoning with that can feel like dashing those dreams, leading to a sense of grief. Letting go of inspirational clutter before coming to terms with the diminished (or imaginary) value may evoke a loss of self-worth.

Intentional Acquisition — People generally acquire both types of clutter with good intentions. Whether you buy equipment for a hobby or motivational wall hangings to boost your mindset, the initial intention is positive: a way to enrich your life.

In both cases, the common thread may be the lack of intentionality. Not all gifts are equally desired by the recipient. Ahem.

The differences between aspirational and inspirational clutter come down to the why and the what:

Intended Purpose — Again, aspirational clutter builds up when people intend to pursue hobbies or activities, either out of true desire or hope of becoming “the kind of person who (does X).” Conversely, inspirational clutter comes not from a desire to do something, but to be a better person, either in their own eyes or the eyes of others.

Actual Outcome — Whatever the desired outcome, the two types of clutter tend to yield different effects.

Aspirational clutter often leads of feelings of guilt or frustration over wasted money, lost space, or inconvenience. Inspirational clutter usually has a less deleterious effect; people feel less like they’ve “failed” if they’re still being reminded to “Be the change they wish to see in the world” than if they have spent hundreds or thousands of dollars on hobby materials that fill the closets and cabinets.

Inspirational clutter tends not to yield the same level of guilt or shame as aspirational clutter; it’s also more easily ignored.

REDUCING ASPIRATIONAL AND INSPIRATIONAL CLUTTER

As I previously said in defining aspirational clutter, there comes a point when you’ve got to recognize that you have an excess of items supporting a life you don’t really lead

There comes a point when you've got to recognize that you have an excess of items supporting a life you don't really lead. Click To Tweet

Approach reducing both types of clutter from logical and emotional perspectives.

Reality Check

For aspirational clutter, get real. Analyze how functional the items really is; is it so old, it’s not useful anymore? Is it way beyond the skill level you’re reasonably likely to achieve?

How feasible is it that you’ll invest time in pursuing the activities you’ve ignored? Questions like, “Have I used this item in the last year (or ever)?” are less productive than asking, “Am I willing to start doing this thing (scheduling lessons, getting out in the garden) this month?” If you’re not going to prioritize time for an activity, send the aspirational clutter packing.

Groove is in the Heart

For aspirational clutter, talk about your emotional attachment to the what’s behind the items; what do they mean beyond their ability to create art or make music or improve the garden? Reflect on the significance of the objects, and whether they still represent what you want to do, or if they are echoes of a former version of yourself.

For inspirational clutter, reflect on whether the items are in alignment with your current goals and values. Do you actually need these items to achieve your true and higher self? 

Do the messages on all those wall hangings still genuinely inspire and uplift? Do they actually sometimes make you feel pressured or inadequate? Or are they parsley, unnoticed and unappreciated? Surround yourself with fewer messages, but ones that truly resonate with who you want to to be right now.

Oscar Wilde Quote Photo by Matej 

Think Gratitude, Not Guilt

Even enjoying a sense of freedom, people sometimes feel guilty about letting clutter go on so long. Shift your focus toward being grateful that you’ve developed the ability to recognize your evolving self.

If you like, take Marie Kondo’s advice and express gratitude to (or at least for) things you’re letting go of, knowing they can bring joy to someone who will want, need, and use them.


Once you understand the similarities and differences between aspirational and inspirational clutter, it’s easier to identify your own examples and assess them more critically. Cultivate spaces that authentically support your goals and well-being.

Posted on: March 18th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 16 Comments

Being organized and productive is about systems and skills. Too often, we’re tempted to believe that the ideal box or tub or app is the key to getting us where we want to be in our journey toward success. That’s actually a big fib that our perfectionist brains tell us, pushing us to procrastinate and not get started until everything is ideal.

That doesn’t mean that products can’t be useful and motivate us to embrace our systems or practice our skills. Sometimes, what we need to up our game is something that’s unusual or comes out of left field.

Last week, I encountered this colorful doggie. 

Understandably, what caught my attention was the cotton candy, tie-dye pink-and-purpleness of this little fella. It was only later that I looked carefully at the harness and saw that this is a cardiac alert dog, a service dog at work. (One of the badges on the harness notes that he is “Not a Magical Unicorn.”)

A worker-bee (or, in this case, worker dog) is useful, but there’s no reason it can’t also be quirky or different. To that end, today’s post looks at a few of the intriguing products I’ve seen recently that perform their tasks as designed but are also just a little bit unusual, enough to pump up our interest.

I’m not suggesting you have to purchase them. Rather, I’d like to encourage you to think about what features (color, form, style) appeal to you so that when you’re faced with tools and options in your life, you’ll stop to think whether you’re dazzled by the aesthetics, full stop, or whether it’s something you will actually use.

STICKY NOTE TO-DO LIST STENCIL

As with most of the quirky products I’ve found recently, this originally came to my attention via TikTok. A company called FTBT 3D Prints (short for Fix This Build That LLC) created the Sticky Note To-Do List Stencil for those who want to turn their blank, unlined sticky notes into checklists.

I appreciate the inclination. I start every day with a sticky note following my 1-2-3 approach to productivity. I have one big task (usually something I’ve been avoiding), two medium tasks, and three small tasks — all aside from things I would do everyday anyway, like checking and replying to email.

These help me focus on getting the most important and urgent work done. It doesn’t mean I won’t accomplish other tasks, just that I absolutely will complete the tasks I’ve set as essential.

The Alternatives

You may be wondering, why can’t someone just draw their own lines and/or check boxes/circles? Well, they absolutely can; indeed, that’s what I do every day on my sticky notes! Yay, me!

But there are some people who are more inspired by aesthetics than others, who want (to the point of needing) things to look good in order to feel right. I dislike the idea of feeling like everything has to be “perfect” in order to get started. However, if you are frozen in amber, inertia blocking any action, because things aren’t pretty, I am not going to spend eons trying to break through that obstacle with you. Another approach is needed. Sometimes, just getting started and making progress is necessary before you can fix the things that usually block you.

You might be thinking, OK, then why not buy the sticky notes that already have lines on them? You could definitely do that, too. There are a wide variety of generic sticky notes with lines, and a sub-set of those have check boxes (though, for some reason, many are rectangular rather than the traditional square), like these Gazelle sticky notes for $14.99 for a package of 400 notes.

N/A

However, there are two potential obstacles. First, while I’m a big believer that many generic versions of organizing tools are fine, there are certain brand names that just work better than others, and Post-it! Notes have a much higher quality adhesive than generic sticky notes. Because of that, I’d really advise against purchasing random lined sticky notes in bulk.

Right, you may be thinking, but when people want this solution, can’t they just buy Post-it®-branded lined to-do lists notes? Well, 3M does make a wide variety of plain lined Post-it! Notes. Well, they can.

But shockingly, they haven’t created a widely available line of Post-it® Notes with check boxes or radio buttons. (Ahem, 3M, this is your cue, folks! Get on this!) 

There’s a far-less-easily found line of Noted by Post-it® products — you can sometimes locate individual products in Target or Staples — which include odd-sized products, like this Noted by Post-it®, Blue To-Do List Notes measuring 2.9″ x 5.7″. One package of 100 notes runs about $5. (Unfortunately, 3M almost never provides clear images on their site of their more niche products.)

Given this, I am cautiously optimistic about recommending consideration of the Sticky Note To-Do List Stencil

The Stencil

Each square stencil, suitable for any standard 3″ x 3″ sticky note, is manufactured from polyactic acid (PLA) filament, an eco-friendly plastic alternative made out of renewable resources.

The stencils come in ten colors: Ink Black, Radiant Red, Citrus Orange, Sunny Yellow, Emerald Green, Sky Blue, Royal Blue, Plush Purple, Pretty Pink, and Daylight White. You can also pick the “Mystery Color,” and the company will choose for you.

Any one stencil direct from the store is regularly $8 each, but they are currently on sale for $5, both from FTBT’s site and on TikTok.

You can also purchase bundles of 5 stencils in two different color schemes, Light (Sky Blue, Royal Blue, Plush Purple, Pretty Pink, and Daylight White) or Dark (Ink Black, Radiant Red, Citrus Orange, Sunny Yellow, and Emerald Green) for $29, or a Deluxe Bundle of all ten for $49. (Unless you’re homeschooling or have oodles of tiny humans, perhaps start with just one stencil, eh?)

Every stencil stencil has 10 lines, and you have the option of using the circular checkbox/radio button in anticipation of marking off completed tasks.

Additionally, while none of the company’s platforms have shown what the reverse of the stencil looks like, it appears that it must be somewhat hollow, as they recommend, “…when you’re not making a new list just flip over the stencil and use it to hold your stack of sticky notes so you’ll always have it at the ready.”

If you like the idea of using a stencil but aren’t sold on a circular check box (likely because boxes really do need to have straight edges), a few Etsy shops, including PrintPalaceXYZ and Vindion, have similar versions with square check boxes, in a similar price range.

MEMO WALLET

A few weeks ago, in Celebrate the Global Day of Unplugging, we talked extensively about the problems of always being connected. We reviewed the dangers of modern connectivity; in particular, we looked at the distractions, dangers to physical health, and the increased stress associated with constantly being plugged in. 

The problem is that across these first few decades of the 21st-century, we’ve lost the ability to capture thoughts on-the-go unless we have tiny computers in our pockets. People used to carry notebooks, Harriet the Spy-style to capture flashes of genius. Then, in the late 20th-century but before smartphones, there were Blackberries, PalmPilots, and other personal digital assistants (PDAs), to which people also quickly got addicted.

Indeed, twenty years ago, in 2004, Merlin Mann (founder of 43 Folders and coiner of the expression “Inbox Zero”) promoted the concept of the Hipster PDA, an alligator-clipped stack of index cards.

Initially a joke, Mann’s Introducing The Hipster PDA looked at a way to turn our collective backs on the expensive, theft-prone, and quickly addictive technology. 

Hipster PDA — CC BY-SA 2.0

The fact that it blended seamlessly with the themes and processes of David Allen’s Getting Things Done was also appealing. People invented templates (and, I’m guessing, stencils), and debated the best types of index cards (lined? graphed? dotted? traditional white or colored?) and enclosures (alligator clips or rubber bands?).

Two decades later, Nyckle Sijtsma of New Things Lab, a Dutch design studio, came up with a spin on the Hipster PDA, a way to detach from technology when out and about and still have the ability to brainstorm, create, write, and remember important things.

Simply put, MEMO Wallet is a distraction-free combination of a wallet and a miniature whiteboard. New Things Lab began MEMO Wallet with a Kickstarter and a goal of 4800 Euro; the effort was so popular that it hit €66,487 of backing in one month!

Made from high-quality, precision-grade aluminum 6063 alloy, the MEMO Wallet employs RFID-blocking technology to prevent against card-skimming and has space for securely holding up to six cards, three per side. It measures 4.25″ x 2.91″ x .43″ (108mm x 74mm x 11mm).

The MEMO Wallet has wear-resistant rubber elements to tightly grip cards and prevent unintentional slippage. When you’re ready, just slide your thumb upward against the vertical oval to access your cards

MEMO Wallet unfolds to reveal a 6-inch (diagonal) pocket whiteboard with a built-in, fine-point dry-erase pen with eraser. The aluminum whiteboard was created with a special heat-curing whiteboard paint to ensure that you can write smoothly on the surface without it squeaking. The pen clicks into place, nesting in the black outer edges of the whiteboard area, so you don’t need an elastic loop. (One MEMO Pen comes with the wallet; additional pens are sold separately in four-packs lasting 18-24 months, depending on usage.)

See the MEMO Wallet in action in just eleven seconds:

MEMO Wallet comes in four colors: Charcoal Black, Slate Grey, Gilded Rose, and a limited edition Revision Red.

Use the whiteboard for anything you’d put in a notebook — To-Do lists, notes, drawings, flow-charts — with confidence that when you fold everything back up, your scribbling will be protected. 

Obviously, a whiteboard lacks the (greater) permanence of using a notebook. It’s not going to sync over Wi-Fi or Bluetooth with your devices (since the goal is not to carry any) or with anything back at the office, so it requires intentionality.

Ostensibly, when you return to your home or workspace, you would rewrite anything that was still actionable or snap a photo of what’s on your whiteboard to upload it to Evernote or OneNote to enable optical character recognition for search at a later date.

The appeal is that you can disconnect from technology while reconnecting with your creativity. Without the incessant beeps and buzzes of texts, email, and app notifications, you can use the whiteboard to achieve mental clarity and focus for organizing your creative thoughts.

The MEMO Wallet won the 2024 iF Design Award.

One wallet is $69; two are $118; three wallets cost $169. If you purchase two or three MEMO Wallets, shipping is free. You can purchase it directly from New Things Lab.

NIIMBOT B21 THERMAL LABEL PRINTER

As a professional organizer, I love talking about the importance of labeling. What you name something helps you remember where to put it, where to find it later, and generally how to think about it in relationship to other things, both categorically and sequentially.

My favorite label maker is the Brother PT-65, which isn’t even made any more. I’ve had it 22 years, since just before I began my professional organizing business.

It takes six AA batteries, and although I use it almost every day that I’m with clients, I probably only have to replace the batteries every few years. It’s a workhorse.

Over the years, I’ve tested other label makers from Brother, Dymo, Martha Stewart, and a variety of other manufacturers. Most have their merits and drawbacks, and while I have a few back-ups I’ve received as gifts over the years, I’m sticking with my PT-65 for as long as it will stick with me.

That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate variations. In September, in Paper Doll Explores New & Nifty Office and School Supplies, I wrote about the PrintRGo thermal pocket printer, which sadly doesn’t appear to be the market right now.

A number of readers contacted me after that post, telling me that they bought the printer and were delighted by it, so I’m happy to see that many other similar miniature thermal label printers have remained on the market, including the Printago, which I’d also mentioned.


The latest thermal printer that caught my eye (and yes, I first saw it on TikTok, but don’t tell my congressman) is the Niimbot B21. it’s designed to look like mid-20th-century typewriter. The teeny printer comes in green, red, black, and creamy white. (While the other colors are probably more mid-century accurate, the red one is so cool!)

N/A

The Niimbot B21 smart label printer is ink-free, printing on BPA-free thermal paper, and supports multiple width labels (40mm x 20mm, 50mm x 30mm, 50mm x 40mm, and 50mm x 50mm). The Niimbot B21 can auto-identify which label paper has been inserted.

The labels are waterproof, tear-, oil- and abrasion-resistant, and allegedly have strong adhesion but are easy to peel and remove. Each Niimbot B21 comes with one package of 50x30mm labels (230 labels per roll). 

It supports a wide variety of design customization, including: 19 fonts, more than 1500 icons, 100+ graphic frames for around the text, and 16 languages, and it can print 203 dpi images. Use it to print a variety of labels for your household or workplace, including labels with product specifications, addresses, prices, ingredients, etc.

You create the labels in the app. They can include text, icons/emoji, pictures, QR codes, and bar codes. You can also have labels with simple multi-row tables. Once the label looks as you like, print it from the app to the B21 printer.

The Niimbot prints labels at 2.4 inches (60 mm) per second, and can work four hours continuously after 1 1/2 hours of charging.  The Niimbot B21 is designed to be quick to set up:

  1. Download the free Niimbot App at the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. The app’s function include scanning, image recognition, and batch printing, serial number are offered
  2. Turn on your device’s Bluetooth (if it’s not already on).
  3. Click on “Unconnected” in the Niimbot App to pair and connect to your device.

The Niimbot B21 thermal label printer is $59.39 on Amazon (for all colors) or $69.99 direct from the Niimbot store. See it in action.


While none of these items are must-haves, they might make your time at your desk (or away from it) a little more fun. What do you think? Would you buy any of these?

Posted on: March 11th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 18 Comments

SPRING HAS (ALMOST) SPRUNG

After a long, dark winter, we’re finally seeing some sure signs of springtime.

For example, we just set the clocks forward an hour. However you feel about Daylight Saving Time (and there are arguments on both sides), it’s likely you enjoyed having more daylight hours in the evening, even if it was just to complain about how tired you were from “losing” that hour the night before. 

Depending on where you live, you may have started to see signs of nature’s transitions. Here in Tennessee, the Bradford pear trees started flowering about ten days ago, meaning that about five days ago, a rain and windstorm plastered white petals all over our front doors and our cars. 

(Bradford pear trees smell like fish. Some say rotting fish. Allegedly, this scent attracts pollinators; apparently spring is not only the time when a young man’s fancy turns to love, but a young bee’s fancy turns to the delights of rotting fish.)

Spring Cleaning the Stuff

This time of year also brings to mind spring cleaning. First, there’s a tradition of literal spring cleaning. There’s no agreement on how this ritual began, though there are theories that it relates to either cultural-, religious-, or climate-related histories.

Some people place the tradition of spring cleaning at Nowruz, the Persian New Year, which coincides with the first day of spring. Practitioners observe whole-house cleaning called khaneh tekani, or “shaking the house.”

In Judaism, as the days advance toward Passover, homes are rid of “chametz” (anything leavened, usually meaning bread, but more generally any food item that rises or expands, the eating of which is forbidden during the holiday); at the end of the literal cleaning, there’s a ritualistic cleaning with a feather, a spoon, and a candle!

The night before the first seder (a dinner and reading of a book about the exodus from Egypt), observant Jews perform the Bedikat Hametz, one last symbolic check for anything leavened. Instead of using a vacuum, broom, or Swiffer, practitioners shine the light of a candle in corners and crevices, dusting any microscopic crumbs into a spoon.

As Passover and Easter are generally close on the calendar, it’s no surprise that Eastern Orthodox and Catholic families practice cleaning rituals (in the home and at church) at varying points during Lent.

Meanwhile, in Europe and North America, before wall-to-wall carpets and Roombas, early spring bridged the chasm between the cold, windy winters and hot, buggy summers; springtime let people open the windows and doors to fresh air, sweep out the schmutz of lamps lit by whale oil or kerosene and home interiors darkened by coal soot, and generally avoid too much of the yucky aspects of nature coming in. (Oddly, there’s no historical record of people rejecting spring cleaning because of the scent of fishy pear trees!)

Decluttering is closely aligned with cleaning, spring or otherwise. The more you have, the more your space (and your energy) is blocked. Sensibly, then, spring is a common time for people to face the excess around them and set it free. The warmer weather and additional sunshine doesn’t just find us shrugging off our hibernation habits, but combing through closets and drawers to see what can be winnowed away.

Spring Cleaning Our Minds

Spring cleaning (and spring in general) calls to mind letting go of tangible stuff, but also giving ourselves a second chance (the first having been New Year’s Day) to let go of unpleasant, unhealthy, or unfortunate habits. As I wrote about in Organizing A Fresh Start: Catalysts for Success, there are a variety of ways to make fresh starts for ourselves, whether to coincide with new years, new quarters, new months, or holidays.

There’s one other fresh start I like to practice, and that’s tying spring cleaning to my birthday (which falls later this week). Letting go of what isn’t necessary (or useful), whether physical or mental, and clearing out the cobwebs in my mind, as I approach a new year of selfhood, helps me feel better about my next approaching cycle around the sun.

Benjamin Franklin said that “Nothing is certain except death and taxes.” If Ben had been Bettina, she certainly would have written about the certainty of wrinkles (what the cosmetic companies delightfully call “fine lines”) and the unkindness of gravity, but using the days around the onset of spring and my birthday to declutter and refresh my life makes me feel a bit more empowered to fight the onslaught of age-related dilapidation.

To that end, and especially after 2 1/2 months straight of posts about serious topics covering the tangible (master classes on paper management, organizing blended libraries to keep domestic peace) and the scary (unplugging to avoid the physical and mental health dangers of being always-on, avoiding being the victim of a scams), today’s post is designed to declutter the bits and pieces I’ve been saving in my head. They’re scraps and remnants, too good to be discarded unused, but perhaps not large or fancy enough to stand on their own. 

MAKE THINGS EARN A PLACE IN YOUR LIFE

Brazilian novelist and lyricist Paul Coelho is most famous for his book The Alchemist

N/A

In addition to his books, Coelho is known for several super-positive quotes designed to uplift, including:

  • When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.
  • There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.
  • It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.

However, the Paul Coelho quote (in full) that keeps coming back to me is, “I think it’s important to realize that you can miss something but not want it back.”

The Paul Coelho quote that keeps coming back to me is, *I think it's important to realize that you can miss something but not want it back.* Click To Tweet

Whoa. There are so many different ways to think about this. Professionally, I’m inclined to take this literally. So often, clients have stuff — lots of stuff — that doesn’t fit their bodies, their lifestyles, their values, or their goals. We then work to let go of the tangible things that don’t serve the person they are now, or the person they are trying to become.

But the “something” that is missed may not be clutter — it may be a person, a relationship, or an experience. It can be hard (but so enlightening) to recognize that we can feel a powerful enough connection to something from our past to miss it, but still acknowledge that we don’t want it back, either because it’s not good for us or possibly just because we’ve outgrown it. 

You may be wistful about something from your teenage years, but I doubt very much that you’d like to be fifteen again for longer than the duration of an idle daydream.

Set aside your memories of lazy afternoons doodling your initials and those of a certain special someone on the paper bags you fashioned into book covers. Instead, spend a moment recalling the scent of the high school cafeteria’s chipped beef on toast, the taunts of “mean girls,” the inability to control almost any aspect of your living situation — or for any of you not significantly younger than I am, the complete absence of coffee culture or Google. I’ll stay this age, thankyouverymuch!

Often, when I work with clients, the thing holding them back from letting go of tangible clutter is the imagined life that clutter represents. As I talked about in The Boo-Hoo Box: Organizing Painful Clutter, “Letting go of your college boyfriend’s tacky breakup letter won’t absolve him of the pain he caused you. But it will set you free from the cycle of pain you experience every time you re-encounter it.”

Letting go of your college boyfriend's tacky breakup letter won't absolve him of the pain he caused you. But it will set you free from the cycle of pain you experience every time you re-encounter it. Click To Tweet

There are aspects of our lives that we miss — even the painful parts — because we knew them well, we understood them and they felt as much a part of us as the freckle on the back of our wrist. It’s understandable that we miss the things that helped make us who we are today — the good and the not-so-good — but if we’re honest with ourselves, we don’t really want them back.

I try to encourage my clients to ask themselves whether something has earned the right to be in their lives, whether it’s a tangible item, an obligation on their schedule, a thought they struggle to let go of, or a personal relationship.

I’m not sure how Paul Coelho would feel about knowing I triangulated Scandal‘s Fitz and Olivia (whom I truly hope are now making jam at that house in Vermont) with his quote about missing something and wanting it back, with things having to earn a place in our lives, but all of these have been taking up space in my cognitive closet, and it’s time to set them free.

FIND THE ESSENCE

The next quote is a more recent one from James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter. Clear wrote,

“The simplest way to clarify your thinking is to write a full page about whatever you are dealing with and then delete everything except the 1-2 sentences that explain it best.”

This reminds me of a beloved story about Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni. (You may know him by his first name, Michelangelo. He’s like Cher in that way.)

His famed marble sculpture David was carved from an 18-foot high marble block that even Leonardo da Vinci had determined was of inferior quality and thus unworkable. David took Michelangelo the better part of four years, finishing in 1504.

Four years, the amount of time it takes (or is supposed to take) to finish college. Do you wonder if Michelangelo’s mother worried about the future of his career as an artist? Do you think she fretted that he should at least learn accounting for something to fall back on?

But I digress.

When asked about his process in creating this work of timeless genius, Michelangelo is reported to have said…something.

By one account, he is alleged to have stated, “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free,” which seems quite poetic, whether spoken in Italian (“Ho visto l’angelo nel marmo e l’ho scolpito finché non l’ho liberato”) or English.

By other accounts, Michelangelo is said to have replied, “It’s simple. I just remove everything that is not David.”

In all likelihood, the great artist probably said nothing of the kind, in any language. We can’t be sure. (However, we do know that he probably spoke Tuscan Italian with a Florentine accent, so we’re at least able to read the remnants of things we’re sure he said, or at least wrote, unlike others of his era who spoke different dialects of the city-states that existed after the fall of the Roman Empire and before Italian unification. Remember, Italy has only been a country since 1861, so “Italian” has only been one particular language since then!) 

Whether we’re looking at the actual quote from James Clear or the (likely apocryphal) quote from Michelangelo, the truth is that at the heart of the matter, what’s important is in there, somewhere, under all the clutter.

With all of the writing and talking that we professional organizers and productivity specialists share about decluttering what isn’t essential and prioritizing what is, I’m not sure the concept could be conveyed any more clearly than what we get from the Clear/Michelangelo idea.

At the heart of our homes, there are spaces that give us comfort, and to find them, we need to keep sifting away the detritus of daily life — the junk mail, the plastic shopping bags, the empty cereal boxes, the broken earphones — until we find clear surfaces to sit comfortably with our loved ones and talk about what’s important.

In our workspaces, the digital desktops covered with different versions of the same files (ImportantProject.final.version7.reallyfinal) and actual desktops piled high with documents we will never file (and if we filed, would never actually read) all distract us from the brilliant work that is within us, if only we could find our way clear.

And, as always, it’s never just about the tangible stuff. Our schedules are filled with meetings that should have been emails, and so many projects that should have been cues to realize we belonged in entirely different careers. Our heads are full of so many good ideas, but they battle it out with fears, doubts, and self-recriminations such that there’s no quiet space in our brains to focus on those great ideas. 

Which brings me to the last quote cobweb that’s been hanging out in my head.

STOP WAITING ‘UNTIL’

I’ve been reading Jon Acuff‘s Finish: Give Yourself The Gift of Done, which proposes ways to achieve your goals by removing the kinds of pressure that perfectionism places on us.  

N/A

In Finish, Acuff talks about “noble obstacles,” dark and twisty things perfectionism causes us to put in the path of our success. One example he gives is the concept of “until,” wherein we can’t start on anything until we do the thing that comes before it, and we can’t do the thing before that until we do one task prior.

Acuff says:

“Until” is a hurdle you throw up on your track until the lane is so clogged you couldn’t possibly get started today. Look at all those obstacles. Today’s not the best day to go.

The tricky thing is that “until” often wears a cloak of responsibility. It pretends that it’s not about being lazy but about making sure everything is in order before you start. It would be foolish to come up with a great invoice system until I really know what my business is about. Once I have a core mission, the rest of the pieces will fall into place, but until then, it would be wasted effort.

Until I know why I have an issue with food, I can’t walk around the block at a brisk pace for more minutes today than I did yesterday. 

Until I know what my entire book is about I can’t write the first hundred words.

Until I know where all the stuff in every room of my house is going to go I can’t clean this one room.

Until is sneaky, so you have to be sneaky, too. If perfectionism keeps you (like it keeps almost everyone) from moving forward out of a fear of making a mistake, try the opposite approach.

Intentionally make a mistake. Or, at least, don’t try to put forth your best effort. Yes, really.

You can’t edit a blank page. Don’t sit down with the intention of writing a masterpiece or a pitch-perfect presentation.

Instead, spend 30 minutes emptying your thoughts onto the paper or screen. You don’t have to know what the finished version will look like. You don’t even have to write complete sentences. But get all your bad ideas out in the open and you may find that some of them are workable. One might even be that angel Michelangelo set free from the marble. But you’ll never know if you don’t start. Don’t wait for “until.”

You can’t get fit waiting until you find the perfect exercise routine. Whatever you hope to accomplish, whether you want to be able to run a marathon or just fit into your pre-pandemic clothes, you don’t need to wait until the right class opens at your gym or until you find the cutest athleisure outfit.

Just go for a walk or a swim or do an exercise video or take a class. And if you don’t like it, do something different tomorrow. And something else the next day. Sure, at some point, consistency in some kind of program will probably help you hit your goals faster and with increasing skill and confidence. But waiting “until” something before you start means you’ll probably never start.

You can’t get organized by waiting until you have entirely free weeks (or months) to address your clutter. Prospective organizing clients will call and explain their goals, but say they have to wait until they have time to complete the entire project. 

Nope. Organizing doesn’t work like that, either. You need to purge a little, organize a little, and then live with your systems for a little while to see what you need to tweak. People want to wait until the perfect time, but there is no such thing.

We all find ourselves stuck in the mud of “until.” As Acuff says, it wears that cloak of responsibility, making us think we’re protecting our time and effort and money by doing the right thing. But we might very well wait until…forever.

As 19th-century Russian novelist Ivan Turgenev said,  

“If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything, is ready, we shall never begin.”

Happy springtime, and I have three wishes for my birthday for all of you:

  • May you feel the difference between missing something and actually wanting it so you can demand something earn its right to be in your life.
  • May you find the essence of your space and your schedule so you can focus on what’s truly important. And,
  • May you start something — anything — unencumbered by that “false responsibility” of waiting until all your game pieces are in position. Just start. 

Posted on: March 4th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 18 Comments

Rotary Phone Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

Being organized and productive depends on having systems in place. The problem is that sometimes things happen that throw all of our carefully curated systems out the window. Things like getting the flu, having your car break down (or get stolen), your computer crashing — or getting scammed

It’s shockingly easy to fall for a scam, and frustratingly difficult to recover financially and legally after being a victim. It may require time, money, the services of specialists (like attorneys) and more. The best thing you can do is to organize yourself to protect against being victimized.

SCAMMERS PREY ON EVERYONE

You may have heard about a recent viral article in The Cut by Charlotte Cowles, the online magazine’s financial advice columnist. You wouldn’t have expected someone with that professional identity to write a column entitled, The Day I Put $50,000 in a Shoe Box and Handed It to a Stranger. But she fell for a scam, and she fell hard. And now, risking public and professional embarrassment, she has spoken out. 

For weeks, there’s been debate online regarding what happened to Cowles. Many people can’t imagine that a grown woman with a professional background in financial writing could have been fooled by the ring of scammers who convinced Cowles that they were representatives of Amazon, of the Federal Trade Commission, and of the CIA.

But scams are real, they are everywhere, and we need to organize ourselves (and warn our loved ones) to be vigilant. Gallup found that 15% of American households were victims of financial scams just last year.

Graph provided by Gallup

And, while we tend to think of victims as being older, every demographic group is at risk. In fact, younger adults (like Gen Z and the youngest Millennials) are overrepresented as victims of scamming (at 22%); meanwhile Gen Xers like Paper Doll and Baby Boomers are somewhat less likely to be scammed, at 9% and 14%, respectively.

The rate of victimization is lower among adults without a college education and with lower incomes than those who have college educations and who earn at least $50,000 per year. One might surmise that both of the latter groups have more opportunity to be warned and prepared to identify elements of scams. 

But people with education, experience, savvy, and money can also be scammed. Last month, author Cory Doctorow wrote How I Got Scammed, explaining how a Christmas holiday travel week, a failed ATM transaction, and the post Alaska Air 737 Max door-plug disaster created a perfect storm for him being taken advantage by a phone-phishing fraudster pretending to be from his credit union.

Sometimes, a scam is obvious. Out of nowhere, you’ll be cooking or watching TV and the phone will ring. A mysterious and heavily accented speaker will say that there is “something seriously wrong with your Microsoft computer.” It doesn’t matter if you actually have a Mac, or if you don’t even have a computer. They’ll use that wearily patient voice so identifiable as IT customer support.

You immediately know it’s fake; but would your grandparents? Would your teenager? 

Other scams are less obvious because they come wrapped in the kind of tech-related language we see every day. In just the 24 hours prior to writing this post, Paper Doll and Paper Mommy experience attempted scams.

I received an email claiming that I’d purchased $500+ in services, and if had not made those purchases, I should immediately click to be connected with the company’s fraud department. Of course, merely hovering my cursor over the return email address (displayed as the company’s name) showed it was actually sent by gibberishletters@Yahoo.com. Real companies don’t use Yahoo addresses; in theory, they shouldn’t even use Gmail addresses. Dependable companies have their own domains.

Meanwhile, Paper Mommy got the all-too-common email advising her to click because her iCloud was full. [Be assured, her iCloud was not full. It has a backup of her iPad and probably a few dozen photos and not much more.] Paper Mommy may be 87, but she is one smart cookie, and even if she hadn’t received one of these same phishing attempts previously, she knows enough to verify such things.

However, it’s common enough to get random notification texts, popups, and emails claiming that something is awry. One of the immediate clues is bad spelling, grammar, or punctuation, something that older generations are more likely to take seriously; a 50- or 70-year-old is more likely to immediately realize that a poor command of English (in an email sent, ostensibly, by an American company to an American customer) is a sign of a scam. Thus, given the propensity of younger people for text-speak and a lesser reliance on standard usage, younger adults might be more easily tripped up.

Still other scams prey on the inclination of individuals to be good natured. One popular scam comes in the guise of a text regarding a sick or injured dog. The sender addresses you by the wrong name and says that they’re at the vet; their dog won’t eat and is whimpering, and they’re waiting for assistance. I “fell” for such a scam a few months ago, in that I replied and said, “Sorry, you have the wrong person. I hope everything turns out OK for you and the dog.”

Sad Doggie Photo by Bruno Cervera at Pexels

I thought nothing more of it until the person kept texting and trying to inveigle me in conversation, asserting that I must be a dog lover, too. (Readers, while I’d hate for you to think I’m a Disney villainess, I’m not fond of animals in person, though I do love monkeys, puppies, kittens, and penguins, as long as they’re on my device screens and nowhere near me.)

I Googled, and immediately found that this is a long-running scam to convince text recipients to get emotionally enmeshed in the condition of the dog, and end up giving money. One can understand how Congressman George Santos managed to set up fake Go Fund Me accounts for animal care and steal the proceeds. People are softies and want to be kind.

We’re also inclined to be law-abiding. There have been a number of jury duty scams where recipients get calls or texts saying that there’s a bench warrant for them to be arrested because they have not shown up for jury duty. Sometimes, recipients are warned that deputies are on the way to arrest them unless they pay a fee over the phone, or buy gift cards and send them to the caller.

Government agencies don’t text you out of the blue. In most cases, none but teeny, hyper-local government offices will even email. They certainly don’t take payment in gift cards. 

Scams are designed to prey on your lack of experience or information, your good nature, and your fear of getting in trouble (as with Cowles’ example). Do not let scammers waste your time, ruin your productivity, or take advantage of your goodwill.

SOCIAL SECURITY: SLAM THE SCAM DAY

The Social Security Administration has declared this Thursday, March 7, 2024 Slam the Scam Day!

On National Slam the Scam Day and throughout the year, the SSA provides tools to help seniors and others recognize scams related to Social Security and prevent scammers from stealing both funds and personal information.

Social Security and Paper Doll want you to protect yourself, your loved ones, and people in your community this Slam the Scam Day by educating everyone about government imposter scams. Discuss the issue and let people in your life know they shouldn’t be embarrassed to report if they shared personal information or suffered a financial loss. It’s important to report scams as quickly as possible, both to aid recovery and identify the culprits.

The Social Security Administration encourages us to share their Scam Alert fact sheet to help educate others about how to protect themselves. Report Social Security-related scams to the Social Security Office of the Inspector General (OIG).

If you do encounter scammers in any way related to Social Security, report the scam online with as much information as you have regarding the characteristics of their claims. 

Social Security encourages you to visit www.ssa.gov/scam for more information and follow the SSA OIG accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Those accounts aren’t going to share the newest viral dances or memes, but will keep you informed of the latest nasty tactics. Please consider sharing this post with the #SlamtheScam hashtag on your social media platforms.

OTHER SCAMS TARGETING SENIORS

Scams targeting seniors aren’t limited to those involving Social Security. 

The “Grandma, I’m in Jail!” scam has been prevalent for more than a decade. Your phone rings and you hear a young person’s distraught voice begging for help. The caller, ostensibly your grandchild, has somehow accidentally run afoul of the law and is in jail. “Please send bail money but don’t tell Mom and Dad,” the caller begs, providing a phone number and case number; you call as directed and the faux police officer verifies the case number and takes your money. These scams assume Grandma doesn’t hear your voice often enough to recognize it on the phone.

Help your grandparents not fall for such scams by 1) explaining how they work and 2) calling them more often so that they recognize your voice!

Photo by RepentAndSeekChristJesus on Unsplash

Elders are often the victims of medical scams designed to impersonate legitimate agencies related to Medicare, diabetes supplies, medical equipment, hospice, and more. Romance scams, which prey on lonely people of all ages, but especially tender-hearted seniors, are also on the rise.

The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) is great resource for keeping on top of scams targeting the elderly. Bookmark AARP’s Scams and Fraud page to learn about new schemes as they become known.

KNOW THE SCAMMERS’ TRICKS

Similar to “Grandma, I’m in Jail” is “Dad, I’ve had a car accident!” There’s loud traffic noise (and perhaps sirens) in the background and the faux-distraught caller is saying that they’ve caused an accident and that the police say they need to pay a fine right away. Don’t fall for it.

Remember how I said that government agencies won’t ask for payment in gift cards? Neither will your boss. The Do Me a Favor scam shows up via email or text, when your boss (or maybe the CEO of your company) sends a message asking you to purchase gift cards for a work-related charity promotion, promising to pay you back after he receives them.

Yeah, no. The email or text may look like it’s coming from your work contact, your church leader, or your Facebook friend, but it’s almost certainly not.

Similarly, your friends aren’t going to be at the Paris Olympics and lose their wallets and ask you to send them money via Facebook.

The best way to organize yourself against scams is to stay informed of what scams are popular. When you know what to expect, it’s easier to identify scammers and avoid engaging. 

DON’Ts AND DOs TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE FROM SCAMMERS

DON’T CLICK — If you receive an email or text with links to your bank or other financial account, go instead to the official website and log in from there. If you don’t know the URL, look it up on the back of your bank or credit card or on your statements. And, as you’ve been told since the dawn of email, do not click on attachments from somebody you don’t know.

DON’T TRUST — The Caller ID may say that the inbound call is coming from your bank or the IRS, but it’s ridiculously easy to “spoof” (that is, fake) the identity of a caller. Consider not answering; scammers rarely leave voicemail.

Don’t assume that the caller having the last four digits of your Social Security number or even all of the digits of your account number is on the up-and-up; there’s just too much of our private information on the dark web. Instead, hang up and call the official number for your financial institution and request to be connected to the fraud department.

DON’T DIVULGE — If a stranger claiming to be from your bank or credit card’s fraud department contacts you, ask for a case number. Do not give out your personal information. Do not give out your PIN.

DON’T SAY YES — Do not answer questions in the affirmative. That is, if they ask, “Is this Jane Smith?” don’t say yes; if you must say something, reply, “What is this regarding?” Your voice could be recorded and cloned for AI-related scams. The less you say, the better.

DON’T RUSH (OR BE RUSHED) — It’s the nature of scammers, like the stereotypical used car salesman, to use the pressure of time to get you act against your best interest. Don’t be fooled into making a decision or taking action quickly. Check with advisors, whether more technologically savvy friends or relatives, your accountant or financial advisor, your attorney, or the police.

DO READ UP — The American Bankers Association has a nifty website called BankersNeverAskThat.com. The site explains what to watch out for in terms of email, text, phone, and payment app scams, and also has a great eight-question quiz where you can walk through the situations (on your own, or as part of coaching with a loved one) to identify whether something is a scam or legitimate.

For reference, I did pretty well, but I dithered on the question regarding payment app alerts; if you’ve only recently begun using apps like Zelle, Venmo, or other peer-to-peer payment services, you might find the example sneaky, too, so read (and share) AARP’s How to Avoid Scams on Zelle, Venmo and Other P2P Apps.

The site offers a goofy “retro” scam-themed video game and a series of lighthearted videos to drive the point home.

DO HAVE FAMILY PASSWORDS — Schools have security that was non-existent when I was a kid; there are lists of who is allowed to pick up little Johnny or Janey from school to ensure not only that there’s no Stranger Danger but that wackadoodle exes and pushy in-laws don’t insert themselves between you and your kids. Modern parenting includes having family passwords so that if someone says, “Hi, your mommy told me to come pick you up from soccer practice today,” even if the child recognizes Mommy’s best friend as Auntie Karen, the kids know to wait for the official password.

This concept should be applied to families at all ages. Have a communication password designed so that if Grandma or Dad or College Kid gets a call purporting to be from one of the others and is in in need of emergency funds, there’s a level of security involved. (But, y’know, if Grandma calls from jail too often, maybe let her think about the consequences of her actions for a little while.)

DO TELL THE AUTHORITIES — No matter how embarrassing it is to have been scammed, it’s important to report suspected and actual scams.

  • Notify your bank, credit card company, brokerage, or other financial institution immediately. If scammers have actually taken your money via credit card, the company should be able to flag the transaction as fraud and reverse it immediately; other financial institutions may also be able to freeze the transaction and save your money. Take screenshots of texts or emails, and don’t delete the original messages in case law enforcement wants to dig more deeply into the source code. 
  • Contact the police, and file a police report. Do not be dissuaded if the police officer seems blasé about the crime.

My credit card company once notified me that someone had used my card number to buy an inordinate amount of mail order men’s underwear and stereo equipment. Algorithms had already flagged the purchases as fraud, but they asked me to file a police report. The police officer who took the report at my workplace could not have looked more bored if I’d asked him to watch paint dry. It doesn’t matter. Report!

  • File reports with applicable state and federal agencies. Whether the case involves the Social Security Administration, Medicare, or other federal crimes, report scams to the applicable agencies. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), as well as your state’s bureau of investigation all have fraud departments. Learn more at the FTC’s Reportfraud.ftc.gov and the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at IC3.gov

THE FUTURE OF SCAMS

Scams — and scammers — aren’t going away. There will always be scammers who take advantage of anyone more easily duped because they have less information, less experience, and fewer people watching out for them. But, as I alluded to earlier, there are higher tech scams on the horizon.

Artificial intelligence is scary. I bet you’ve heard about deepfakes, video imitations made to sound and look like a real person is saying something they never actually said.  

Voiceprints and voice cloning constitute the audio version of deepfakes. A scammer can record you — or take your teenager’s Instagram or TikTok video — and create a completely new message using words and expressions that were never actually said, and then create an “emergency” where it’s believable that money or your Social Security number or other private information is requested. If your college-age kid still hasn’t memorized his Social Security number, you might be tempted to believe it if “he” calls from a spoofed number that looked like his and says he’s filling out a form at school and needed his (or your) digits. 

Voice cloning is already being used. Scammy deepfake videos could just as easily be to sent via Facetime or text video. Be careful.

FUNNY THINGS (NOT) TO DO TO SCAMMERS

You shouldn’t engage with scammers, so don’t emulate Paper Mommy or her friend in the stories below. Still, it’s fun to imagine retribution against bad guys.

When I was a teen, my mother was visiting a friend, a suburban woman of (shall we say) means. A phone scammer interrupted their visit and was urgently pushing some sort of financial scheme. Mom’s friend told the caller that she was sorry, but he’d have to wait, that her husband busy shoveling the cow s***.

Later, my mother spoke of her friend’s response with a twinkle in her eye. 

Paper Mommy, as longtime readers know, is a hoot. After a friend briefly fell prey to the “Grandma, I’m in jail!” scam (until she learned that her teen grandson was fast asleep in his own bed), Paper Mommy began plotting her revenge on scammers. A few years ago, she called me with delight to report that the day she’d been anticipating had finally arrived.

“Grandma, I need your help!” the voice implored. The scammer had already made a tactical error; much to Paper Mommy‘s chagrin, neither my sister nor I have made her a grandmother. My mom tut-tutted as the scammer wove his tale, offering periodic, “Oh, no, darling! … Oh, you poor thing? … You need me to send you money?”

She kept him on the line for eons, repeatedly leading the evil-doer to believe she was prepared to turn over her credit card number to secure grandson’s release. Oh, she just had to find her purse. Oh, fiddlesticks, where was her wallet? Just when his frustration led him to almost crack and he implored, “Grandma, aren’t you going to help me?” my mom uttered her Oscar-worthy line:

“No, Sweetheart. I never really liked you that much.” Click.

 

#SlamTheScam

Posted on: February 26th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 14 Comments

From the moment you open your eyes in the morning until you finally nod off at night, do you experience over-stimulation? Do you suffer from over-availability, whether to your boss, colleagues, or clients, or to everyone who wants to talk to you about their political campaigns or your auto warranty?

Even if you’re overly connected with the world via glass screens, do you feel a lack of connection — with your loved ones, nature, or even your inner self?

Have I’ve got a holiday for you! From sundown this Friday, March 1, 2024 until sundown on Saturday, it is the Global Day of Unplugging!

WHAT IS THE GLOBAL DAY OF UNPLUGGING?

The Global Day of Unplugging is an annual campaign to bring attention to the importance of taking a break from 21st-century technology, whether that’s your computer, your cell phone, or your brand new Apple Vision Pro. The goal is to embrace person-to-person connection, the kind where you can see deeply into someone else’s eyes because you’re in the same space at the same time.

It’s not that digital engagement is bad, per se. Zoom meetings and remote work means we reduce our overall carbon footprint from work-related road trips and airline travel. Cell phones (even if people mostly communicate by text) let us know when our friends are running late or if the kids need someone to pick them up. 

But being on-all-the-time keeps us from ever refreshing. When it’s our boss that keeps us connected, that’s toxic, as we’ve discussed previously:

I mean, we could move to France, as covered in the first post above, or to Australia, which has just voted to allow workers to ignore after-hours phone calls and email from their companies. That could help reduce any employer-related tethering to our devices.

But we do this same damage to ourselves! Like a digital pacifier, we reach for our devices when we’re bored or anxious: in line at the grocery store, waiting for a doctor’s appointment, on the other end of the couch from our kids or significant other.

Technology is pushed on us from above and from all sides, but it has the potential to become an addiction that pushes us further away from our loved ones.

Wouldn’t you benefit from a little escape? For one 24-hour period starting on Friday, people from all four corners of the globe (yes, I know globes have no corners), will intentionally walk away from their digital lives and meet IRL (in real life).

WHY UNPLUG?

Let’s look at the dangers of the attention economy, which treats our eyeballs (attention) as a scarce commodity. We can prevent some of the problems by decluttering our digital spaces; other parts require concerted efforts at unplugging.

Distractions

Our computers and devices bring so much digital clutter to our attention. Some of it involves what other people want us to pay attention to, things we may or may not find important. But other distractions we bring on ourselves by clicking our way into deeper and deeper rabbit holes, directing us to an article online or a video on TikTok, but then we stay, enraptured and forget what we were doing.

These distractions take our focus off where we intend it to be. Intention is how we make sure we handle what we prioritize and not someone else’s priorities. Decluttering minimizes those distractions.

When we’re organized in our homes or offices, the clutter and inefficient systems make it hard to find what we want when we want it. Digital clutter is more insidious because we don’t even realize that we’re being distracted — we’ve become so used to it, and because nobody else sees our digital clutter they don’t call attention to it.

When we eliminate digital excess and distractions and create new, more efficient pathways, we feel calmer and more in control. When that happens, we’re in the zone, better able to do deep work and get into flow, with less wasted time searching for whatever we want — or what our boss or client wants.

However, of all the ways digital addiction hurts us, perhaps the distractions and lack of productivity are the least important.

Physical Health

Digital overuse is bad for our physical health. We develop bad posture from shlumping at our desks, gripping our phones, and hyperextending our necks.

Tech Neck is an informal term for the medical condition we experience when we use our devices. We flex our necks and shoulders, causing strain strain on the muscles and joints; the more we do it, the greater the build-up of tension, leading to muscle pain and headaches. Some research even suggests that overusing mobile devices can cause bone spurs to form at the nexus between the neck and head!

Additionally, exposure to the blue light emitted by phones, tablets, and computer screens can cause insomnia and decrease the quality of our sleep, which can further impact our ability to focus. Of course, when our attention span is decreased (whether due to sleepless nights or being trained to think in tweet-length chunks of language), it takes ever more effort to interpret complex material or be creative.

And, of course, repeated digital interruptions from our devices leads to higher rates of exhaustion and stress-induced ailments. 

Stress

Speaking of stress, staying plugged in messes up our psyches in multiple ways:

  • Information overload leads to overwhelm — To borrow a movie title, it can seem like we’re dealing with everything everywhere all at once. Your work, your children’s homework portal, national disasters, politics — it’s all so important.

The problem with everything seeming like a priority is that eventually nothing is a priority. All issues, large and small, compete on a stage the size of the planet, the form of your smartphone, and the synapses in your brain simultaneously.

The problem with everything seeming like a priority is that eventually nothing is a priority. All issues, large and small, compete on a stage the size of the planet, the form of your smartphone, and the synapses in your brain… Click To Tweet
  • Overwhelm leads to increased anxiety — Think about the last time you were trying to juggle multiple problems at the same time. I bet you were trying to give your attention to so many interested parties that one last, small request (“Honey, where’s the Costco card?” “Mom, can you take me to the mall?”) made you feel like your limbs where going to fly off in different directions.
  • Use of social media leads to a variety of emotional dysfunctions. Over the last decade, social media use has grown; in 2022, the average person spent 2 hours and 27 minutes on social media per day. Why is that worrying? 
    • The more we connect online, the more we experience FOMO (fear of missing out).
    • We more see other people having fun (attending parties, going on vacation, celebrating life milestones), the more likely we are to feel lonely.
    • Comparing one’s own life to other’s highlight reels can lead to lower levels of self-esteem. If you judge your own self-worth by comparing yourself to others, social media may make you feel like you’re failing.
    • As people — particularly younger folks — spend less time developing in-person social interactions and more time on social media and dating apps, there’s an increase in social awkwardness when they finally do meet face-to-face. This contributes to more social anxiety. Additionally, the social relationships we do have tend to fray without positive, in-person interactions.
    • Social media makes it easier for people to exhibit bad behavior. Bullied teenagers used to have a respite from their cruel classmates once the school day was over; now, it follows them home on their phones and social gaming sites. And we all know about rude online treatment of anyone who dares to have a differing opinion on anything, whether politics, sports, or music, or has a different religious, national, ethnic, or other kind of identity.
    • More nuanced unkindness online occurs in the withholding of likes or social approval, which again, when we compare our “performance” and “appeal” to that of others, can make us feel like we’re lacking.
    • All of this can lead to depression.
  • We can lose the ability to ability to self-soothe when we’re constantly tethered to our digital pacifiers. On the plus side, our devices can distract us from very real things that, well, suck. But when we become dependent on that kind of distraction, our former life skills dissolve. We used to be able to make polite conversation with strangers in line or read books for extended periods of time. We could go to sleep without an hour of scrolling. Now, we’re often unable to tame our thoughts unless we allow the internet to do it.

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO UNPLUG?

Every app and the whole on the internet is purposely designed to keep you coming back

There’s a scientific explanation. Every time we use our devices, it reinforces the pathways taken by dopamine, a happy-making neurotransmitter at the base of our reward-seeking behaviors. Just like the bells and blinking lights on a Vegas slot machine condition us to pull the lever or push the buttons one more time, the notifications, “Breaking News” headlines, daily streaks in apps, and aforementioned “likes” draw us back in.

Worse, as with other addictions, when this neurotransmitter pathway doesn’t get reinforced, we actually experience something very similar to a chemical withdrawal. Have you ever found yourself without your phone, feeling jittery and unable to tame your mood?

It’s not your fault. You have to use modern devices for work, and you really do want to have access for many of life’s convenience. But you will feel better if you can lessen your dependence.

HOW TO UNPLUG FOR A DAY

To celebrate the Global Day of Unplugging, you can look for a community event near you. There’s everything from a musical chairs event in Charleston to Yoga and Sound Healing in Gainesville, from a Family Bonfire & S’Mores in Star, Idaho to something called a Disco Get Down-Dog in San Diego. And this truly is global, with events from Denmark to Bolivia, Virginia to Switzerland!

The Global Day of Unplugging organization has listed over 200 ideas of what you can do instead of being plugged in!

The idea isn’t to become a Luddite, but to find ways to feel less isolated or disconnected (whether from others or yourself). Ideas range from the tame (unclutter your pantry, take a hike, do some gardening) to those that indulge your inner child (build a living room fort, blow bubbles, put on a puppet show).

Create art (decorate a lantern, have fun with origami) or go on a quest (create a scavenger hunt or go on a Gnome hunt)! And while I’d be hopeless at crocheting for a cause or going on an ice-block slip & slide, all of these events would definitely be healthier for my brain, heart, and soul than scrolling through the curated slime-fest some platforms have become.

You can also support the global unplugging movement by making a donation or purchasing “merch,” but even joining at the free plan lets you download their “I/We Unplug” signs.

If you enjoy the Global Day of Unplugging, consider taking a tech sabbath as described by Tiffany Shlain in 24/6: Giving up Screens One Day a Week to Get More Time, Creativity, and Connection or doing a digital detox on a more regular basis, so you and your devices take a real break from one another.

N/A

TRY BABY STEPS TO GET MORE COMFORTABLE WITH UNPLUGGING

Nobody is saying that you have to become an in-person social diva overnight and join with others. If you’re more the “lone wolf” type, there are many ways to make it easier to unplug.

  • Make it less convenient to access your phone when you should be doing something else. At work, put it in a drawer; if you work from home, take it to another room. When out and about, put your phone in your purse or work bag, inside a zippered compartment. Add friction!
  • If you can’t keep your hands off your phone, use the accessibility functions to turn your phone to “grayscale.” When the display is limited to black, white, and grey, your brain gets fewer dopamine hits and you’ll be less compelled to reach for it.
  • Use positive reinforcement. Doodle a message (like “UNPLUG!” or “Put me down!”) to yourself and take a photo (or create a graphic in Canva) that reinforces your goal on your locks screen. 
  • Silence notifications when you need to do focused deep work (but set expectations so co-workers or family trust you’ll get back to them).
  • Don’t use your devices in the bedroom, at night or in the morning. Remember, the blue light from devices detracts from your ability to get recuperative sleep (meaning you’ll be distracted the next day), and using them first thing in the morning keeps you from starting your day focused and intentional. Don’t get sucked in to what’s trending.
  • Don’t text and drive. Don’t dictate and drive. Don’t let your phone read texts aloud. Unless you’re getting directions or there’s an emergency, put your phone away.

And if you’re worried about your family, remember: it’s hard to limit screen time for kids and teens when you don’t model healthy digital hygiene yourself. Work together to support alternatives to an always-online life.

Ironically, the more technology gains a pernicious hold on our attention, the more we may need to consider technological solutions to untether

For example, there’s an increase in apps to make it easier to not use apps! ClearSpace claims that 97% of its users reduced their screen time in the first week of use. It uses a minimalist design to block and limit distracting apps, reduce time spent doom scrolling, train attention through screen time challenges, and provide screen time accountability and reporting.

Similar apps for helping reduce screen use include Forest, Space, Off the Grid, and Elqi.

There’s even a new phone, the Minimal Phone, designed to make essential work easier but social media use less appealing.

The Minimal Phone uses an E-Ink display that’s supposed to reduce eye-strain and promote healthy sleep. The claim is that it’s “designed to discourage prolonged social media use, while still being perfect for essential tasks like emails and texts.” It’s higher tech than a flip phone, but less inviting than a typical smart phone.

UNPLUG TO ACHIEVE SILENCE

We tend to think of unplugging as it affects our eyes, but our ears get overstimulated, too.

The Sounds of Silence

Even 65 years ago, individuals were trying to unplug from the experience of audio overload, as The Restorative Pause of Silent Record Week and the below video both explain.

(Learn more about the phenomenon of “silent” records in Spin Magazine’s Silence is Golden and Music Weird’s The Sounds of Silence: A Brief History of Silent Recordings.) 

A study entitled Is silence golden? Effects of auditory stimuli and their absence on adult hippocampal neurogenesis, published in 2013 in the journal Brain Structure and Function found that, for mice at least, silence can be “a proactive catalyst for neurogenesis.” In other words, silence can stimulate the creation of new brain cells. Stepping away from the pings and buzzes might not just make you calmer, but smarter!

And it’s not just the one-way silence that might benefit us. Last year, researchers found a problematic aspect of video conferencing. When we chat in person, we respond to yes-or-no questions, on average, within 297 milliseconds; on Zoom, it’s 976 milliseconds! We may not perceive the delay, but the slowdown interferes with the neural mechanisms regulate human conversation? Our physiological response? (Zoom) fatigue. 

And one study found that two minutes of silence interspersed with, or after, relaxing music increased the calming power of music on cardiovascular, cerebrovascular, and respiratory systems. Silence combats the negative aspects of our online life.

You may find these trends toward silence intriguing enough to consider other ways you might unplug.

Silent Reading Groups

Silent Book Club has over 500 chapters in 50 countries. There’s no assigned reading, and you can meet, eat and drink, and read silently for an hour along with others equally craving silence. (They do socialize after the reading time.)

Carving Silence from Chaos

Earth FM offers a search engine to find the quietest places in the word’s loudest cities. Unplug from your devices, then escape the high decibels of your city and enter peaceful gardens, parks, pools, and arboretums.

Los Angeles Ornamental Japanese Garden, photo by Glen Bowman (CC 2.0)

Silent Salons

In many beauty salons, you can request a silent appointment or silent chair. It might seem contradictory to the idea of unplugging from the digital realm to have more one-to-one interactions. But sometimes, a person is overwhelmed by all auditory experiences. It’s OK to unplug from conversation, too.

Silent Travel

Unplugging is hard. Most of us would feel accomplished enough if we could put our phones away for an entire day. Given that, I’m fascinated by a new trend of traveling unplugged.

Silent travel is designed to be restorative and mindful, so when you return, you don’t need a vacation to recover from your vacation. Options include:

  • Silent meditation retreats — Monks and nuns may be the best-known practitioners of silent meditation, but interest grows every year. A colleague has attended multiple silent retreats over the years, each scheduled in proximity to her birthday. The experience gives her the opportunity to focus on her thoughts and feelings, and do some self-analysis, things that would be very difficult amid the FOMO and constant contact inherent in carrying the internet around in her pocket.
  • Quiet and silent nature reserves — Nature is not silent (though I wish the tree frogs outside my suburban home would considering hushing themselves.) Animals are, however, unlikely to buzz or ping or otherwise carry on a loud one-side conversation with a fellow creature halfway across the country. Organizations like Quiet Parks International promote awareness of listening to nature and our inner voices, reduce the impact of noise pollution, and foster the benefits of experiences that allow for embracing silence and the sounds of nature.

For those of us who struggle with traditional meditation, especially the kinds that require sitting still, silent walking sans devices are an anxiety-busting revelation. Several organizations support such efforts by identifying locations and providing advice, including SilentWalks.org, Sharing Nature, and Ideas for Educating

  • Sleep tourism has become a whole thing in recent years, with the hospitality industry investing deeply in wellness options like specialized in-bed therapies, guided meditations, in-room essential oil infusers, and other treats. Sleep retreats offer options to modify sounds, aromas, temperatures, textures, surfaces, and experiences.

Bed in the Clouds Photo by Mo Eid

Escaping the negative effects of your phone is just the beginning; even the most middlebrow of hotel stays now include combination alarm clocks and sound machines so that your business trip dreams can be accompanied by the sounds of rushing water or birdsong.

If you’re a light sleeper, quiet hotels help unplug from other people’s conversations and devices. Quiet Hotels and QuietHotelRooms can help you find quiet spaces is noisy cities.

As you unplug from the digital world and sensory inputs, consider silent options.

READ MORE ABOUT UNPLUGGING

Attention and Mental Health (Center for Humane Technology)

Safe Technology North Carolina 

Unpluggo — Disconnect to Reconnect 

Why Unplugging Matters