Archive for ‘Paper Organizing’ Category

Posted on: September 9th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 14 Comments

WHAT DOES VOTING HAVE TO DO WITH ORGANIZING?

The word organize has three common meanings:

  1. to arrange, assemble, or put in order your tangible stuff (or activities or thoughts) so you can access what you need when you want it, to be more productive
  2. to coordinate, assemble, and unify a group, as when organizing a search party for a missing child or organizing in a union to collectively bargain
  3. to mobilize in support of a cause or effort you value, like Save the Seals (remember that, GenX?) or “Fix the Pot Hole on Main Street!”, or to get a candidate elected or a ballot proposition approved or rejected

In the United States, National Voter Registration Day is September 17, 2024, and no matter what you believe regarding any given issue or candidate, it’s hard to make a difference if your resources and information are disorganized.

To that end, today’s non-partisan post includes everything you need to know to exercise your right to vote, no matter your opinion on candidates, propositions, or pot holes.

(Dear non-US readers; please feel free to post non-partisan links about organizing to vote in your countries in the comment section.)

KNOW YOUR “WHY”

We do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.

~ Thomas Jefferson

No matter which candidates get your vote or what positions you take on any given issue, don’t let disorganization to be an obstacle to voting.

If you’re an American citizen over the age of 18, you have the right to cast votes regarding a wide variety of national issues and policies, including:

  • The Economy
  • The Environment and Energy policy
  • Foreign policy
  • Healthcare
  • Immigration
  • Reproductive and Family Issues
  • Veterans’ Affairs

It’s not just federal policies and candidates. You never know when you’ll care about a school board vote that impacts your kids, a zoning issue, or a noise ordinance related to a neighbor’s teenage beau boosting Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes at maximum decibels in the wee hours.

Voting preserves your right to have a say in how your community (school district, town, city, state, and nation) will be governed. It also allows you to model community organization and civic responsibility for your children or grandchildren.

REGISTER TO VOTE

Let’s start with the basics of voter registration.

Know your state’s voting eligibility requirements.

You would think voting eligibility requirements would be uniform across all fifty states, but nope. (Note: residents of the United States’ territories can vote in presidential primaries, but not the presidential election, nor in Congressional or Senate races.)

Between 1812 and 1860, property ownership qualifications to vote were progressively abolished. In 1870, non-white men gained the right to vote. Until the 19th Amendment, ratified in 1920, only twenty states granted women the right to vote.

From Suffs: The Musical

Even then, in effect, only white women were guaranteed suffrage, as poll taxes and civic literacy tests disenfranchised the poor and people of color. (Poll taxes were stuck down by the 24th Amendment; the Voting Rights Act of 1965 outlawed discriminatory state voting practices.)

Native Americans weren’t granted the right to vote until 1924, and that right wasn’t guaranteed until 1948. And of course, the 26th Amendment lowered the minimum voting age requirement from 21 to 18 in 1971, when Paper Doll was only four years old, but already really wanted to vote.

Federal voting regulations aside, individual states have varying rules regarding voter eligibility. In order to vote in federal and state elections, you must be a citizen, of “sound mind,” and over the age of 18, but most states have residency requirements.

In 1972, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down one-year residency requirements, ruling that anything in excess of 30 to 50 days violated equal protection of the Fourteenth Amendment.

And given that residency implies an address, the passage of the National Voter Registration Act of 1993 and 2002’s Help America Vote Act — in addition to modernizing voting technology — removed registration impediments and ruled unhoused people may not be denied the right to vote based on their lack of a permanent address.

Thirteen states (Alaska, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Montana, New Jersey, Utah, Vermont, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming) and Puerto Rico do not require a mailing address, and in Arizona and Nebraska, homeless citizens may use county clerks’ offices and court houses as their mailing addresses.

Most states have regulations restricting the voting eligibility of convicted felons while in prison or on parole, while convicted felons in Kentucky and Virginia lose the right to vote in perpetuity. (Florida recently reversed its law in this regard, but … it’s complicated.)

Know your state’s voter registration deadline

As befits a nation that initially considered itself to be a collection of smaller nations, each state has its own voter registration deadlines.

Twenty-two states require registration between 16 and 30 days prior to Election Day (Tuesday, November 5th this year). Six states require registration from 1 to 15 days prior to election day, and twenty-two states and Washington, DC allow registration at your polling place on Election Day.

Fill out the “paperwork” to register to vote.

Your paperwork may not be on paper; forty-three states (plus DC and Guam) allow online voter registration, up from only fourteen in 2008 when I first wrote about organizing to vote. However, you must register to vote by mail or in person in Arkansas, Mississippi, Montana, New Hampshire, South Dakota, Texas, and Wyoming

Notably, North Dakota does not require voters to register, having abolished advanced registration in 1951! As long as you’ve lived in the state for 30 days and have valid ID, you can vote.

To register:

  • Check online, call, or drop by your Board of Elections to request a registration application.
  • The National Voter Registration Act of 1993, also called the Motor Voter Act, made it possible to register when you apply for or renew a driver’s license or at government agencies when applying for public assistance and disability.
  • Find your state election offices at USA.gov, or Google “board of elections” or “election commission” and your county name plus the state (because there are 31 Washington Counties, 26 Jefferson Counties, and 25 Franklin Counties).  
  • Use the master voter registration document at Vote.org, or scroll down on that page to find your state’s voter registration site.

Review your voter registration card and keep it safe

Voter registration cards show your voting precinct (which determines where you vote) and districts (e.g., Congressional, State Senate and House, school district, county/city district, etc.) for individual campaigns, referenda, and ballot initiatives. 

File your card with your VIP papers, and make a notation on your calendar to bring your card to the polls on Election Day (or on early voting days, if applicable). You may only need your photo ID, but I recommend always taking your voter registration card with you to vote, especially if you registered recently.

SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES FOR REGISTERING AND VOTING

If you or someone you know needs assistance with registering to vote and securing a ballot, check the following resources.

College Students

Students should determine whether they will register to vote in their home states or at school. They are likely to be first-time voters and unfamiliar with residency requirements, party registration, absentee ballots, and the election process. These resources will help.

Disabled Voters

Members of the US Military

Overseas and Expat Voters

Are you an American citizen reading Paper Doll from somewhere outside of the U.S.? Howdy! These non-partisan sites can help you register and vote from abroad:

Unhoused voters

CHECK YOUR VOTER REGISTRATION

Perhaps you registered to vote years or decades ago. Even if you wore an “I Like Ike” button, registering to vote once is not enough. Even after you register, there are multiple ways you can fall off the rolls, as Archie Bunker learned years ago!

If you haven’t voted in several election cycles — whether presidential or mid-term elections — your state may remove you from the rolls. 

If you move, even within a state, you have to register in your new location. Update your registration even if you move neighborhoods in the same town, as dividing lines for school and legislative districts are narrowly drawn.

You may be purged from the rolls by accident, such as if you share a name with someone who died, or intentionally as part of partisan disenfranchisement efforts.

Check your voter registration soon, before the deadline for registering in your locale, to ensure that you are able to vote on election day. Contact your local board of elections, or go to https://www.vote.org/am-i-registered-to-vote/ to use the state-by-state lookup.

LOCATE YOUR POLLING PLACE

Your voter registration card should specify your polling place. Alternatively, many boards of elections or election commissions let you safely log in to your registration with information like your name, birthdate, and part of your Social Security number (which they already have on record).

Or, use Vote.org’s Polling Place Locator.

Photo by Elliott Stallion on Unsplash

If you have early voting in your jurisdiction, it may be at a different polling place than the one listed on your registration card. My Election Day polling place is within walking distance of my home; however, to avoid inclement weather or having to rush on a client day, I vote at one of the four early voting locations in my city.

OR, ARRANGE TO VOTE BY MAIL

Voting by mail has become more popular, particularly since COVID, but as with other voting regulations, the rules vary by state. This method, usually referred to as an absentee ballot, reduces crowding at the polls, increases voter participation, and makes it easier for college students, people with disabilities, members of the armed services, travelers, and others to cast their votes.

In eight states (California, Colorado, Hawaii, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, Vermont, and Washington) and the District of Columbia every eligible voter can vote by mail. (And in Colorado and Oregon, all eligible voters are mailed a ballot without even having to request one.) 

Voters in those eight states and DC can generally return ballots through the USPS, in-person at election offices, or in secure drop-boxes. In states that have in-person voting, voters may still opt to vote at the polling place. 

Paul Sableman, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons 

But what if you live in the 42 states and 14 territories that don’t run all elections by mail? There, eligible voters must request a ballot.

Some have a “no-excuse” ballot system; request a ballot for any reason. Other states require you submit a “valid excuse,” which might be that you will be out of state for business or out of the country due to work or military service, that you will be hospitalized or otherwise too infirm to vote; some states let everyone over 65 vote by mail. 

The duration of absentee ballot status can vary. In some states, like New York or Georgia, once you request an absentee ballot, you’ll receive one for all elections, whether federal, state, or local, general elections or primaries. In others, voters must request absentee ballots for every single election in which they intend to vote.   

Scroll down on this FindLaw page for a comprehensive list of each state’s requirement for requesting an absentee ballot and voting by mail. Where applicable, it provides a link to each state’s absentee ballot application.

Make sure you’re registered to vote by the applicable deadline, then contact your county’s Board of Elections or your state’s Secretary of State for an absentee ballot.

SECURE THE RIGHT IDENTIFICATION

Your voter registration card proves you registered (at some point) but it can’t be used as ID to vote.

If you live somewhere like Dixville Notch, a tiny New Hampshire polling district of four registered voters, the poll worker is likely your daughter-in-law or third grade teacher who knows you. However, most jurisdictions require you to show some kind of government photo ID, like a driver’s license, state-issued ID card, military or tribal ID, or a passport, and even locations without strict voter ID laws require first-time voters who’ve registered online or by mail to show ID

Other states accept non-photo identification with proof of name and address. For example, in Arizona you can bring your Indian Census card; in Kansas, government-issued concealed carry handgun or weapon licenses and government-issued public assistance ID cards are acceptable ID; Virginia allows valid student IDs.

Even states that are strict regarding photo ID have exemptions, such as for those with a religious objection to being photographed, or have impediments to getting an ID (due to indigence or after a natural disaster). Wisconsin has confidential voting for victims of domestic abuse, sexual assault, or stalking.

Check your state’s voter ID laws at your board of elections website or this list from the National Conference of State Legislatures.

Alternatively, use the map at VoterRiders.org and the cursor over your state to see what proof of identification your state requires. States are divided by strict and non-strict photo ID laws, strict and non-strict non-photo ID laws, and states with no specific ID required.

If you have none of the appropriate categories of identification required by your state, you’ll want to  get a state-issued photo ID card. In most cases, this will require presenting a copy of your birth certificate, as explained in How to Replace and Organize 7 Essential Government Documents.

All this aside, if you don’t have your ID, you can generally cast a provisional ballot by signing an affidavit, signing a poll book, and providing biographical information. (You may also cast a provisional ballot if your identity or right to vote is challenged by a poll worker or election official, or if your name is not on the poll or registration list on Election Day.)

MAKE A PLAN FOR WHEN AND HOW YOU WILL VOTE

Very little gets done unless you organize your schedule to do it

Think of voting the way you might think of leaving on a trip. Normally, you might get in your car, drive to the airport, park, and fly. Or perhaps you arrange to have a friend drive you. But if you wait until the last minute and you have a dead battery or flat tire, or your friend’s child has the flu but no baby sitter, you’d have to scramble to figure out whether you’d call another friend, get a rideshare, or find some other solution.

Voting is not time-specific, but it’s day-specific, and the lines in some precincts can be as long as those for TSA. And if you were planning to vote after work, but you got delayed by weather or traffic, you might be cutting it close. 

When and how will you vote?

Look at your schedule and figure out:

  • Will you vote by mail? How will you remember to get your ballot in the mail or to a drop-box by deadline?
  • Will you vote early? What day? How will you accommodate your schedule and remind yourself to go? At which early voting polling place can you vote?
  • If you’re voting on Election Day, what time will you go and how will you get there? 

Borrow some accountability and vote with a friend. Arrange to vote together (early or on Election Day) or even drop your mail-in votes at a drop-box together, then celebrate your right to vote with an ice cream, adult beverage, or meal.

How will you get to the polls?

If you’re going to the polls in person, either on Election Day or when voting early, plan how you’ll get there, and create a backup plan in case something goes awry.

If you are able, offer rides to those who may lack transportation or the physical ability to get to the polls on their own.

If you need help getting to the polls: 

  • Ask friends or neighbors how they are voting and see if you can ride with them.
  • Ask if your house of worship is transporting congregants to the polls for early voting.
  • Get free rides to vote early via Lime, as well as access to free scooters and e-bikes through Vote Early Day.
  • Check to see if your locality offers free public transportation via bus or rail on Election Day.
  • Call your public library or your state’s League of Women Voters to find out what assistance is available locally to help voters get to the polls.
  • Ride Lyft, partnering with Levi Strauss & Co. and Showtime/MTV, to providing discounted rides to the polls.

RESEARCH THE BALLOT

Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education.

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

You may be able to log into your board of elections or election commission site to see a sample ballot prior to any local, primary, or general election. Alternatively, use:

Then, evaluate candidate and party web sites, read news articles, and ask the opinion of people you respect.

PROTECT YOUR RIGHTS

We don’t want seven-year-olds or random Peruvians or visitors from Alpha Centauri to pick our city councilperson or mayor, but we do (or at least should) want everyone citizen to be able to exercise the right to vote without fear of threats or violence, or even ignorance on the part of un untrained person.

I mean, how often have we heard about the airport employee who insists that people with driver’s licenses from New Mexico or the District of Columbia need to show passports because they don’t know these places are in the United States?

If you are in line when the polling hours close, stay in line. By law, as long as you are in line, you are guaranteed the right to vote.

If you are threatened with violence or otherwise experience or observe intimidation:

If you are denied the right to vote:

  • Give a sworn statement to a poll worker that you satisfy the qualifications to vote in your state, and then proceed to cast a ballot (or provisional ballot).

APPRECIATE HOW YOU GOT THE RIGHT TO VOTE

Over the centuries, many have fought to secure and protect your right to vote. The following three videos from U.S. Capitol Historical Society explain the evolution of the Constitutional amendments that secured that right. 


Not only is Tuesday, September 17, 2024 National Voter Registration Day, but it’s also Constitution Day. What better way to celebrate than to make sure you’re organized and registered to vote

Posted on: August 26th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 20 Comments

Hack! Breach! Data theft!

You see a news story about yet another company getting hacked, or you receive a letter from some service provider telling you that their servers were “breached.” Sometimes the letter offers advice, or perhaps a year of free credit monitoring.

Organizing your records, passwords, financial resources, and entire identity to protect against identity theft is exhausting. It would be understandable if you tend to tune out any news about such hacks and breaches.

Over the past week or so, however, you might have heard about a particularly nasty breach, leaving bad guys with access to millions of Social Security numbers. That probably made you sit up and take notice…and get queasy.

THE UNPRECEDENTED BREACH OF SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS AND MORE

At the outset, I should note that contrary to popular perception — the Social Security Administration was not hacked. The federal government wasn’t breached.

Who Got Hacked and When?

A Florida-based data brokerage company, National Public Data (NPD), got hacked. You may wonder how NPD got so much personal data in the first place. It, like many companies of its kind, scrapes data from wherever they can, including federal and state public records databases like voter registries, DMV records, professional license filings, birth/marriage/death records, criminal and civil course records, and non-public databases.

So, private information, by way of how the modern world works, gets stored somewhere over which we have no control, and then scraped, gobbled up by companies like NPD. They then turn around and sell our private data to anyone willing to pay — from employee background-check sites to private investigators (not cool, Sam Spade!) to data resellers. 

According to NPD, the crime took place in December 2023; it just took a while to become known (and then a lot longer for NPD to own up to it). It’s not clear who actually stole the data.

What is clear is that the breach became known in on April 7, 2024, when a hacker group identified as USDoD posted on the dark web, offering an estimated 2.9 billion individual rows of data records for $3,5000,000. Jeez Louise!

At this point, various “bad actors” (by which I don’t mean David Hasselhoff or Pauly Shore) began posting on the dark web and leaking about the availability of the purloined data. 

The breach was reported by the Daily Dark Web in a piece entitled NationalPublicData.com Hack Exposes a Nation’s Data:

The leaked data, which spans from the years 2019 to 2024, is of unprecedented magnitude, comprising 2.9 billion rows. The sheer volume of information involved is monumental, with the compressed data reaching 200GB to a staggering 4TB when uncompressed. The breached database includes comprehensive citizen information, firstname, lastname, middlename, name_suff, address,city, county name, phone 1,aka1 fullname, ssn and more. Such a massive breach raises serious concerns regarding data privacy, security, and the potential for widespread misuse or exploitation.

However, Daily Dark Web also noted that there was “a strong possibility that the assertion may be exaggerated and that the data could have been scraped from publicly available sources. Additional scrutiny and analysis are required to validate or refute these allegations.” 

You’d expect that the mainstream media might attack this story like a dog with a bone, but few outlets took any notice. Instead, they focused on all the usual wars, natural disasters, sports, bird flu, Taylor Swift, and Congress trying to shut down TikTok. 

Then, on July 21, 2024, someone leaked exactly what was stolen. Members of the cybercrime community Breachforums released in excess of 4 terabytes of data they claimed had been stolen (though not by them) from NPD.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com 

What Did the Hackers Get?

The breach contained massive database holdings at the nationalpublicdata.com domain, stealing Social Security records, phone numbers, physical address histories, and some email addresses of many millions of Americans. Information datasets from Canada and the United Kingdom were also included.

Per Troy Hunt, a regional director of Microsoft and founder of Have I Been Pwned (a site that helps people determine whether their email address has been included in data breaches), there were also 70 million rows from a database of U.S. criminal records

Techcrunch referred to the data stolen as “partly legitimate — if imperfect.” 

Brian Krebs of Krebs on Security further wrote that Atlas Data Privacy Corp. researchers found that there were 272 million unique Social Security Numbers in the entire records set, and that most of the records had a name, Social Security Number, and home address; approximately 26% of those records also included a phone number.

Apparently Atlas verified a subset of 5,000 addresses and phone numbers, and found that those records were, with “very few exceptions” for people born before January 1, 2002. So, maybe your college student is safe. But the rest of us? Oy.

Atlas also found that the average age of consumers in the records was 70 — with approximately two million records related to people who would be at least 120 years old at this point, so at least some of have already shuffled off this mortal coil, taking their credit lines with them.

This still leaves a lot of questions. Which data got out? Was it accurate or out of date? Which data was for deceased persons and which for real, live peeps? And what good data is paired with bad data? 

If you’re feeling cyberwonky, read Troy Hunt’s Inside the “3 Billion People” National Public Data Breach. Hunt states that, “[t]here were no email addresses in the Social Security number files.” So, figuring out how bad it all is may take a while, because it’s hard to know what info is current and properly matched to your public identity

Where Do Things Stand Now?

Mainstream media finally took notice on August 1, 2024, when California resident Christopher Hoffman filed a class action suit. Even then, NPD didn’t respond publicly until Friday, August 16, 2024, more than two weeks later, four months after the breach was originally reported, and more than eight months after the initial crime occurred!

And when NPD finally did post a milquetoast-y comment, it merely said that the breach involved a “third-party bad actor that was trying to hack into data in late December 2023, with potential leaks of certain data in April 2024 and summer 2024.” Well, duh.

That’s not even all! According to two Bleeping Computer pieces, National Public Data Confirms Breach Exposing Social Security Numbers, and Hackers Leak 2.7 Billion Data Records with Social Security Numbers, on August 6, 2024, “another threat actor known as Fenice shared for free the most comprehensive variant of the database with 2.7 billion records, with multiple records referring to a single person” and further, the “threat actor known as “Fenice” leaked the most complete version of the stolen National Public Data data for free on the Breached hacking forum.”

Meanwhile, in finger-pointing worthy of the Spider-Man memes, this Fenice claimed that the data breach was actually conducted by a different threat actor named “SXUL” rather than USDoD. (What, nobody’s named Mike anymore?)

(I created this from a meme generator. Apologies for offended artistic tastes.)

So, our data was stolen, priced for sale for $3.5 million, and then offered up for free to hackers, but nobody told us regular folk until the lawyers wanted attention for a class action suit?

If you feel like you need an aspirin, you’re not alone. Nothing about this feels particularly organized. Or fair.

This class action suit is a big deal, because, as the plaintiff’s law firm explained in a press release, Hoffman was not a customer of NPD. None of us were.

Thus, unlike when we get those letters from our doctor’s office or credit card companies, we never voluntarily gave our personal information to NPD in the first place, so most Americans (and Canadians, and citizens of the UK) won’t even know if they’ve been affected by the breach until or unless something along a continuum from hinky to financially catastrophic happens. 

As a result, it’s essential to take action and organize your resources against potential fallout.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR INFORMATION WAS HACKED

The cybersecurity firm Pentester accessed the files included in the breach and created a free database/breach check of the stolen information — but with Social Security numbers redacted, birthdates partially redacted, and phone numbers and street addresses in the clear.

I know it doesn’t look very impressive, but experts and journalists, including at Time Magazine, have recommended using it.

Enter your first name, last name, state, and birth year. It will search billions of leaked records and note whether your information was included in the breach. 

If your data isn’t found, you’ll get an error message instead of a list of records. Yay! Except that’s the starting point, not the finish line. Boo!

  • Check every state you’ve lived in. Ever.
  • Check your maiden name, or any other name by which you’ve been known, legally or otherwise.
  • Check for your significant other, your parents, your kids, and pretty much everyone you care about. (I mean, you could also search for your horrible boss, the kid who stuffed you in a locker in seventh grade, and your ex-mother-in-law, just to enjoy a little schadenfreude. I won’t tell.)

However, will only tell you is whether your information is out there, somewhere, naked. Your next step is protect that data from molestation as best you can.

PROTECT YOURSELF AGAINST YOUR DATA BEING USED AGAINST YOU

Monitor your financial life

You should already be regularly checking your bank accounts and credit card statements for anomalies. Either log in to one at a time or use a financial dashboard like Empower, Rocket Money, or one of the other popular alternatives to the late, lamented Mint.

Next, monitor your credit reports.

Longtime Paper Doll readers know that I always advise using AnnualCreditReport.com, which, by law, guarantees a free credit report from each of the three credit reporting bureaus per year. Better yet, after the onset of the COVID pandemic and the related financial chaos that ensued, Equifax, Experian, and Trans-Union temporarily offered free weekly credit reports.

The bureaus extended those offers twice over the years, and as of last October, the Federal Trade Commission reported that AnnualCreditReport.com will now permanently make available weekly credit reports at no charge so that consumers can dispute errors, be watchful for any fraudulent account openings or changes, and report identity crimes at IdentityTheft.gov.

While you’re pulling your own credit report, pull them for your children, too. Even the existence of a credit report for a child who has never applied for credit is a big, honking sign that something fraudulent may have occurred.

Place a fraud alert on your credit file

This requires that any creditors contact you before making changes to any of the accounts you already have or before opening any new accounts in your name. You needn’t contact all three credit bureaus; rather, once you request a fraud alert with one bureau (say Equifax), the other two (Experian and Trans-Union) will be notified.

Per a law passed in 2018, fraud alerts stay in place for a full year (unless you rescind it earlier), and victims of identity theft and related crimes can secure an extended fraud alert for seven years. Previously, fraud alerts lasted only 90 days.

Also, the law requires that each of the credit reporting bureau must automatically send you a free credit report after you request a fraud alert. Scrutinize them carefully. 

To request a fraud alert, contact one of the three credit bureaus’ fraud alert divisions:

  • Equifax — or call 1-800-525-6285
  • Experian — or call 1-888-397-3742
  • TransUnion — or call 1-800-680-7289  (Note: an extended TransUnion fraud alert must be requested by mail.)

But before you choose this path, there’s a better option.

Freeze your credit file

A credit freeze is different from a fraud alert. While the fraud alert says that creditors have to contact you before changing or opening accounts, a freeze says, “Nope. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.” A freeze prevents any new loans or credit from being taken out in your name — even by you!

A credit freeze is different from a fraud alert. A fraud alert requires creditors contact you before changing/opening accounts; a freeze says, *Nope. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.* A freeze prevents any new loans/credit from… Share on X

The freeze stays in place until or unless you revoke it. So, if you need to buy a new car, seek a student loan or mortgage, or apply for a credit card, you can temporarily remove the freeze. After you secure funding, you can put the freeze back on.

Ice Photo by Enrique Zafra at Pexels.com

  • Contact each of the three credit bureaus.

Unlike with the fraud alert, where you only have to contact one of the credit bureaus, you’ll need to contact all three at the following freeze division links or numbers:

You must create an account with login credentials before you can proceed to request a freeze.

  • Keep your PINs in a safe place.

When you place a freeze on your credit, you’ll get PIN. You’ll need those PINs to defrost — I mean, unfreeze — your credit later. (Note: I helped a less tech-savvy client in her 80s accomplish this on Friday, and we learned that TransUnion no longer requires a PIN; your TransUnion login will suffice.)

Where you safeguard your PIN depends on the standard methods that you already use; you don’t want to be dependent upon your memory of an out-of-character decision. 

  • Write PINs down and put them in your fireproof safe or safety deposit box.
  • Enter PINs in your digital password manager.
  • Put PINs in your secure password book in code.

Do NOT put them on a sticky note affixed to the front of your computer. Do NOT write them in a little notebook that you take out of your home. 

  • Protect the credit files of your loved ones and those in your care

That 2018 law guarantees that you can freeze (and unfreeze) your own credit for free. (This is different from a credit lock, which requires a subscription to a credit bureaus’ services.) In addition to setting a freeze for yourself, you can obtain a credit freeze for your children under the age of 16. (Minors aged 16 or 17 may request their own freezes.)

Photo by Julia M Cameron on Pexels.com 

Because minors can’t apply for loans, people rarely check children’s credit history. In theory, there shouldn’t even be a credit bureau file for a child, so when young adults start out trying to get student loans or credit cards, they may be in for a shock to learn that someone has already destroyed their credit!

For more on preventing children from being the victims of identity theft, check out:

https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/how-protect-your-child-identity-theft

Additionally, if you serve as a conservator or guardian, or if you hold someone’s Power of Attorney, you may secure a free credit freeze for them, as well.

Why else should you get a credit freeze?

Any time you are at greater risk of identity theft, whether through a massive data breach, a run-in with a bad roommate, a breakup with a creep, or you’ve had your wallet stolen or your home burgled, a credit freeze can give you peace of mind that nobody will be able to access credit in your name.

Similarly, if elderly relatives develop dementia or anything that impairs their cognitive capacity, they can become prey to predatory lenders and charlatans selling everything from scammy auto repair warranties to non-existent services. A credit freeze prevents scams from moving past the spam stage.

Military Fraud Alerts

Members of all United States military branches have an additional resource that predates the 2018 law. They can set active duty alerts, allowing them to place a fraud alert for one year, renewable for the entirety of their deployment.

For Equifax, use the online form for an Active Duty Alert or call 800-525-6285. Meanwhile Experian has an online form but no phone number, and TransUnion has a phone number (800-680-7289) but no online form.

As a bonus, securing an active duty alert prompts the credit reporting agencies to remove a service member from the marketing lists for sneaky pre-screened credit card offers. (Service members can request to be added back, but who wants that junk mail?) 

DON’T GET SCAMMED

Even partial information allows scammers to contact you, pretending they’re preventing scams. A caller might fake being from your bank or credit card, alerting you to a hacking risk. They may request you log into one of your accounts and change passwords (to something they provide) for “testing” purposes that might sound reasonable if you’ve been interrupted while chasing a toddler or running a meeting.

Photo by mohamed_hassan from PxHere

Be vigilant. If contacted by phone, text, or email, don’t respond, even (or especially) if the contact appears to already have some of your data. They’re using what they DO have to get you to reveal what they DON’T have — more of your private information. Call your financial institution directly.

The Social Security Administration won’t call you. They won’t email. They won’t text you. (Government sites may email or text two-factor authentication codes when you log into a federal site, like ssa.gov, but that’s initiated by you.)

My March post, Slam the Scam! Organize to Protect Against Scams, focused mainly on scams targeting seniors, but will help you protect yourself and loved ones from most common scams, and provides resources to help you learn more.

The Hill‘s August 15, 2024 piece, Was your data leaked in massive breach?: How to Know, and What to Do Now, has a good point about the likelihood of being at risk:

“If you’re a high-value individual that maybe has a high net worth or works at a company that they can extort you, you might actually be a real target,” Kyle Hanslovan, CEO of cybersecurity firm Huntress, previously told Nexstar. “For the masses though, the everyday common person, you’re more of a target of opportunity.”

Most people shouldn’t spend too much time worrying about what may happen if their information ends up in the wrong hands. Instead, Hanslovan recommends keeping an eye on your important accounts and making sure you’re prepared to act in case something does go wrong.

“It stinks for privacy, but it kind of normalizes just what’s happening,” Hanslovan said. “It doesn’t make it right, and it definitely doesn’t wave, you know, a company’s true fiduciary responsibilities to protect your data.

Someone should tell NPD that.

Other Ways to Keep Bad Guys From Using Your Data to Hack You

  • Make your passwords long and complex. Using at least 16 characters, with a mix of capitals, lowercase, numbers, and special symbols, will make it hard to hack you

Image Source @2024 Hive Systems

  • Use a password manager for all your longer, more complex passwords. 
  • Turn on two-factor or multifactor authentication for as many of your online accounts as allow it. (That’s like when you get a text or email with a code to enter before your login is authenticated.) Alternatively, you can use an authenticator app.
  • Set up account alerts for your bank, investment, and credit card accounts, particularly to flag online or in-person purchases or ATM transactions outside of the US
  • Keep security software updated on your computer and phone.
  • Don’t check financial accounts on insecure Wi-Fi networks; wait until you’re home, on secured WI-Fi network.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR DATA IS USED FRAUDULENTLY

ONE LAST WEIRD THING

You may have noticed something odd about the class action suit. You’d expect National Public Data’s parent company to have a tech-leaning name, like InfoDynamics or Identidata.

Nope. The parent company is Jerico Pictures Inc., a Florida-based film studio owned by Salvatore (Sal) Verini, Jr., a retired deputy with the Broward County Sheriff’s office who fashions himself as an actor, producer, and writer.

Verini is also listed as the owner of companies called Trinity Entertainment Inc., National Criminal Data LLC, Shadowglade LLC (which sounds like a housing development in a horror movie produced by a company with a name like Jerico Pictures), and Twisted History LLC, which sounds like a joke. 

Meanwhile, victims of data hacking won’t be doing a lot of laughing.

REFERENCES

As a Certified Professional Organizer®, I often help clients protect their identities and financial information. However, I am not a cybercrime specialist, nor do I play one on television. To research the specifics of this breach, in addition to the many government and tech-oriented links in the above post, I used a clarifying mainstream sources, including:

Keep your eyes open and your personal information close to the vest.

Posted on: August 12th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 12 Comments

Parents, you’re counting down the precious days left with your college-bound students. Meanwhile, they’re counting down until they experience “freedom” and (gulp) adult responsibilities. In recent posts, we’ve covered a wide variety of skills and information to ensure they are prepared for the world beyond having you as a backup ride, bank, chief cook, and bottle-washer.

Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grown-Up Life: Part 1 identified essential legal documents and insurance policies, and reviewed the key financial skills every first-year student needs. 

Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grownup Life: Part 2 looked at communication skills, staying safe on campus and off, and the under-appreciated life lessons of mastering laundry.

This third installment of the college life skill syllabus delves into keeping all the time management balls in the air, developing an academic safety net, being a safe car operator, and social etiquette to ensure good relationships. There’s even a smattering of bonus life skills.

We finish up with with a bibliography of reading resources for you and for your college-bound student.

HOW TO MASTER TIME AT COLLEGE

In high school, time is fairly regimented; the bell rings every fifty minutes, moving students on to their next classes. There’s study hall to get a start on homework, and teachers provide periodic, staged deadlines for students to show their progress and keep from falling behind; they turn in a topic idea, then a bibliography, outline, first draft, and finally a completed report. Class periods before tests are earmarked for reviews. Academic prep time is spoon-fed.

In college, the freedom to set your own schedule has the drawback of requiring an adult sense of perspective on prioritizing what’s important (and not just urgent or fun). Wide swaths of free time must be divvied up and self-assigned: for studying new material, doing problem sets, completing projects, and preparing for exams.

Food and clean clothes are not delivered by magic fairies; they may require transportation, funds, labor, and time! 

College-bound kids may not want to take advice regarding time management, but try to start conversations to get them thinking about how to

Explain how to beat procrastination by understanding its causes and then incorporating good planning, prioritizing, and decision-making techniques (like the Eisenhower Decision Matrix), and locating accountability support. These Paper Doll posts can help:

They can even try some Study with Rory Gilmore videos, including this one that incorporates the Pomodoro Technique!

I can’t think of a better expert for your college (and college-bound high school) students, especially those with ADHD, than my fabulous colleague Leslie Josel. She’s the one who developed an amazing Academic Planner for middle-grade and high school students, and I interviewed her for Paper Doll Peeks Behind the Curtain with Superstar Coach, Author & Speaker Leslie Josel.

Order Leslie’s book, How to Do It Now Because It’s Not Going Away: An Expert Guide to Getting Stuff Done, before the semester gets too far, and you’ll help your first-year college student conquer procrastination, develop excellent study skills, and really dissipate their stress

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HOW TO SUCCEED ACADEMICALLY

Paper Mommy has been many great things, but an eager student was never one of them. In the mid-1950s, she and her friends stood in the college gymnasium, lost in the registration chaos. They asked one snazzy-looking fellow what he was taking. Statistics. And that’s how my mother, who majored in nursery school education, ended up in a statistics course.

The professor asked Paper Mommy‘s friend, Shirley to her Laverne, about one of the concepts. As if on a game show, the friend said, “I’ll pass.” The professor replied, “You wanna bet?”

Seek support

Navigating college academic life requires a different set of skills and strategies compared to high school. Paper Mommy and her friends would have benefited from knowing to:

  • Talk to your advisor — Paper Mommy and her friends did not know that they had assigned advisors, not merely the college equivalent of a high school guidance counselor, but someone with expertise in a student’s chosen major. 
  • Read the syllabus — A syllabus is a magic wand for success, spelling out everything a student must know and do, and when. Take notes on the deadlines to plan backward.
  • Go to office hours — College professors and teaching assistants won’t spoon-feed the material; it isn’t high school.  But showing up for office hours (after studying to figure out what questions to ask) will help clarify material and set your kid apart from fellow students, 
  • Seek out peer tutoring — Colleges offer a variety of academic help, but students have to advocate for themselves, ask for help, and make their own appointments. 
  • Find or form study groups — To be certain you understand something, try to teach it to someone else. 

Expand upon good learning and study habits

  • Participate in class — Lectures, labs, and tutorials may contain insights that textbooks don’t. Encourage asking questions and participating in discussions. Engaging with the material and observing how the professor and other students engage with it deepens understanding and make the material more compelling.
  • Explore different note-taking methods — From outlining and mind-mapping to the Cornell Note-taking Method and the Boxing Method, students can find ways to take notes that support differing learning styles and specific coursework types.
  • Find the right study environment — Students should experiment to figure out where they concentrate best, whether it’s the library, a coffee house, or an empty classroom, or under a tree, as Rory Gilmore found at Yale. (The TV Ambiance YouTube page is full of virtual study environments from favorite TV shows!) Just be sure to have a backup location in case someone steals your space!

  • Embrace active learning — Go to study skills labs to learn how to use active learning techniques like summarizing, teaching the material to someone else, or using flashcards.
  • Review material oftenSpaced repetition, or reviewing material frequently, in small chunks, helps reinforce learning and improve retention better than cramming. 

  • Embrace editing — One of the biggest failings of new (smart) college students is that they fail to edit their papers. Proofreading is correcting errors; editing involves reviewing arguments to make sure they are logical and actually respond to the assigned questions. Read aloud to see if it makes sense. Seek feedback; does it make sense to someone else?

Parents, encourage your student to balance academic work with self-care. Burnout is real and presents a danger to mental and physical health. Urge them to work hard, but also to participate in informal and formal social activities, hobbies, and relaxation.

Talk often so you can recognize if your student is struggling academically or personally. 

DEVELOP SOCIAL ETIQUETTE FOR COLLEGE

Manners aren’t just about knowing which fork to use when there are a multitude on the table. (But in case they get a good internship and rub elbows with movie stars or royalty, the basics are as simple as: start with the utensils on the outside and work toward your plate!)

They’ll roll their eyes, but remind them that basic manners will help them live more easily with dorm-mates, work smoothly with fellow students on group projects, and not embarrass themselves if invited to the home of a professor or to stay a weekend with a roommate’s family. Like:

  • Don’t eat or use what isn’t yours without permission. (Then replace it or return the favor.)
  • Don’t move something that doesn’t belong to you; if it’s in your way, put it back as soon as possible.
  • Return borrowed items quickly. Launder or dry-clean borrowed clothes. Refill the gas tank of a borrowed car.
  • Reciprocate other’s kind behaviors.

Other real-world manners and etiquette tips college-bound students might not have absorbed:

Dining

  • Know which is your bread and which is your drinkMake the OK sign with both hands on the table in front of you. One makes a lowercase “b” (on your left) and “d” (on your right). The “b” for bread means your bread plate goes to your upper left; the “d” for drink means the glass to your upper right is yours. Don’t butter an entire slice of bread or roll and then eat it (except at your own breakfast table). Break off a bite-sized piece of bread, apply butter (or jam, etc.) and eat.

  • Wait until everyone has been served (or seated with their dining tray) to eat. Don’t gobble your food. You are not Cookie Monster.
  • Don’t rush to leave before your companions are done eating. (If you need to leave to get to class, apologize for not staying until the other person is finished.)
  • Know when and how much to tip in restaurants, for pizza delivery, etc. 

Social Interactions

  • Introductions — Know how to properly introduce yourself and others in a social setting, with first and last names. 
  • Handshake — Offer a firm (not limp, not crushing) handshake, smile, and make eye contact. (If eye contact makes you uncomfortable, remember, it’s not a staring contest. Connect, then look anywhere in the general vicinity of the other person’s face.)
  • Personal space — Respecting others’ personal space in social and professional settings requires situational and cultural awareness and understanding the nuances of physical boundaries. Don’t touch people without asking. 
  • Phones — Don’t look at your phone when you’re eating or socializing with others unless responding to something urgent. Put  phones away at the meal table. 
  • Thank You Notes —  A good thank you note, sent promptly, goes a long way to show appreciation after receiving a gift, being hosted, getting interviewed, or being the beneficiary of an act of kindness. 
  • RSVP — Explain that not replying to an RSVP inconveniences a host. Replying in a timely manner and committing to that response helps the host plan (financially and logistically).
  • Online social interactionsA digital footprint lasts forever, and online behavior matters. Being a jerk online has the potential to ruin a reputation just as much as being a jerk at a party. 
  • Networking — Your college kid isn’t thinking about the business world, but people help and do business with those they know, like, and trust. Help them see the importance of strengthening connections by sharing personal stories where maintaining connections, being generally useful, and even sending a LinkedIn connection request with a personalized message can mean a lot down the road.

Cultural Sensitivity

Good cross-cultural etiquette means not judging people who don’t follow the above guidelines. 

Respect diversity. Understand cultural differences in manners, and be open to learning and adapting when doing study abroad or interacting in other cultural settings.

Use language that’s respectful, inclusive, and kind

CARE FOR THE CAMPUS CAR

@the_leighton_show

The low fuel warning also doesn’t stop my wife from going to @target #teenagers #drivinglessons #driving #parentsoftiktok #funny

♬ Highway to Hell – AC/DC

Even if your student has been on the road for a few years, being a car owner (or responsible party) is different from driving Mom’s car to school. Car care can be a mystifying area of adulthood.

Oversee that inspections and major maintenance gets done when your student is home for breaks, and jointly go through the recommended auto maintenance schedule in the car’s manual. Help them figure out how to either do basic car care or to get it done professionally. 

Teach the basics, like how to:

  • Fill the gas tank before it’s only 1/4 full (and not when the gas light comes on). This is especially important if they attend school in wintery locales.
  • Fill the tank on a schedule, not when it’s empty, but perhaps every Saturday after lunch. (And don’t try to put diesel in a non-diesel vehicle!)
  • Download an app for finding the best gas prices, like Gas Buddy.
  • Know how to check the oil before the oil light comes on. Oil and filter changes don’t have to be done as frequently as they used to, due to synthetic oil, but it still must be done.
  • Know how to check tire pressure and fill tires properly.
  • Know what the dashboard lights mean. — I once heard someone call the tire pressure alert the “Surprise Light.”

  • Understand how to check and change fuses, replace windshield wipers, and know when to seek a professional mechanic. 

Prepare them for emergencies. They should:

DON’T GET SCAMMED AT COLLEGE

According to a study by the Better Business Bureau, 18-24 year-olds are more often victims of scams than senior citizens! Teaching college students to recognize and avoid scams is crucial. Encourage a skeptical mindset.

Common Scams Targeting College Students

Just as I wrote about scams that target seniors in Slam the Scam! Organize to Protect Against Scams, there are many that target college students, including:

  • Scholarship and grant scams — Legitimate scholarships don’t ask for fees.  
  • Student loan scams — Be wary of companies that promise to forgive or lower student loans for a fee. Confirm loan information through the school’s financial aid office or consult government (.gov) websites like Federal Student Aid.
  • Housing scams — When seeking off-campus housing, avoid listings requiring upfront payments before touring properties. Use reputable rental sites; don’t send money via wire transfer.
  • Job scams — Know that legitimate employers don’t ask for bank information until you’ve been officially hired. Be wary of job offers promising high pay for minimal work.

Watch for Red Flags

  • Urgency and high pressure tactics — The world is full of deadlines, but scammers use fear of missing out to create a sense of urgency. Don’t become a victim by being pressured to act quickly without time to analyze what’s happening.
  • Unsolicited Offers — Be dubious about any unsolicited contact from outside of the school’s usual resources, whether by email, phone, or (especially) text, whether seeking personal information or offering services, funds, or assistance.
  • Unusual Payment Methods —  Students need to understand that payment by check or credit card is normal, but requests for payment by gift card, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency are hallmarks of scams. Legitimate transactions use secure, traceable payment methods.
  • If a financial loan, grant, paid internship, or side hustle seems “too good to be true,” especially if the college’s financial aid office or academic departments doesn’t know anything about it, it’s likely a scam.

Always do independent research and verification. Check websites, Google to make sure phone numbers and addresses aren’t fake, and seek unbiased reviews. Consult trusted sources, including professors and advisors, college financial aid and work/study divisions, and yes, parents.

Online Safety

GenZ will be dubious that parents can advise them on online safety, but talk about:

  • Privacy Settings — Adjust social media privacy to limit personal information visible to the public.
  • Phishing Scams — Be wary about emails, texts, or social media direct messages that appear to be from trusted individuals or institutions but ask for personal information or money, or contain suspicious links. Pick up the phone and verify by calling people or institutions directly.
  • Secure Websites — Look for “https://” in the URL and the padlock icon in the URL bar before entering personal or financial information! 

Report Scams

RANDOM LIFE SKILLS

I lived in the International Living Center at Cornell for all four years of college. Of 144 students in our dorm, only about 15% were from North America; whether they were the youngest freshman or the oldest grad students — from ages 16 to 34 — many students experienced some sort of culture shock.

College is already its own kind of culture shock. Your students shouldn’t hesitate to ask for help. That said, adopting an attitude of weaponized incompetence instead of seeking to learn how to do something themselves may eventually annoy roommates, friends, and professors. In these last days before college, make sure they know:

  • How to tell time on an analog clock — Additionally, it appears that many GenZers are miffed when GenXers and Boomers use expressions like “a quarter ’til” or “half past” because they think it’s some kind of code. And does your student understand time zones?  
  • How to use public transportation — If your kid will be living in a city where subways, light rail, or busses are essential for moving around, they’ll need to learn…fast. If you don’t know how to navigate, where to stand, or how to pay, ask someone who does know to give you and your student a lesson in the basics.
  • How to read a map — GPS can be flawed. GPS (and cellular service) can go down. Being able to read and understand both digital and paper maps is a key navigation skill. (So is orienteering, but if your kid is leaving for campus in a week or two, it may be too late.)
  • How to hide emergency money — “Mad money” was a 20th-century term for having some cash set aside so you could escape a bad date and get home safely. You never know when you might need money or an approximation thereof and Apple Pay won’t cut it.

A friend recently recalled how fellow students used to keep subway tokens in their penny loafers in the 1980s. My grandfather, Paper Mommy‘s dad, was interviewed by a newspaper in the 1930s after being robbed outside of a hotel; he reported that hadn’t lost all of his cash because he’d hidden some bills in his socks!

Advise hiding a few dollars inside their phone case.

  • How to unclog a toilet or a drain — Bonus points for teaching them how to turn off the water at the source. It may not be necessary in the dorms, but once they have an apartment, knowing how to find the shutoff valve for an overflowing toilet, sink, or washing machine will be a nifty skill.
  • How to change a light bulb — Yes, seriously. Turn it off and let it cool before unscrewing it. As with screws, hoses, shower heads and similar items: righty tighty, lefty loosey.
  • How to sew a button back on.
  • How to swim — Yes, we’re cutting it close in mid-August, but some schools (such as my alma mater) required and still require swimming proficiency (for safety’s sake). 

No matter how much these three posts have tried to cover everything, it’s likely you’ll have your own submissions for Chip Leighton’s The Leighton Show by the end of the school year. (The caption is the same, but this one is different from the videos in the last two posts.)

@the_leighton_show

What’s your street name?? #text #college #freshman #son #daughter #mom #dad #humor #greenscreen

♬ original sound – The Leighton Show

RESOURCES FOR COLLEGE-BOUND STUDENTS

The Adulting Manual by Milly Smith

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The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College by Harlan Cohen

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RESOURCES FOR PARENTS

Articles for Parents of College-Bound Students and New College Students

Support and Advice Groups for Parents

  • CollegeConfidential.com Parents’ Forum
  • College Parent Insider’s Group
  • Facebook groups for parents of students at your child’s college — Search Facebook for “parents” and the school’s name. Official groups may be moderated by school personnel; others are independent and moderated by fellow parents.
  • College-based forums — Some colleges set up their own online forum or listserv for parents. Google “parent groups” or “parent forum” and your child’s school, and you will find sites like this one from the University of Minnesota.

Note: there’s a balance between asking group members to recommend an emergency dentist for your first-year who just cracked a molar and being a “helicopter parent” who tries to stir up controversy over a professor who gave your student a B. Check out Before You Join That College Parents Group on Social Media… at CollegeInitative.net.


Dear Parents: It will be a learning experience, and you’ll struggle with the balance between granting independence and being there for support. I hope going through the advice in these past three posts together will help you both feel more ready.

May you and your college student have a stellar first year!

Posted on: August 5th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 6 Comments


From living with strangers to not having parents and teachers overseeing study habits and self-care, college is a melange of delightful freedom and terrifying responsibility.

Last week, in Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grown-Up Life: Part 1, we reviewed the serious side of what to make sure your kids have and know before heading off to college. We covered making sure they know their Social Security number by heart, having a a handle on important contacts and key medical information, and getting registered to vote and knowing how to exercise their rights to vote.

We looked at legal documents, like Power of Attorney for Healthcare (AKA: healthcare proxy) documents, FERPA waivers, and HIPAA releases, which in combination ensure that a college student has someone they trust looped into their medical situations and able to make medical decisions if they are unable to

We also started developing punch lists of adulting information and skills, starting with the essentials related to financials and insurance.

And, because people pay more attention to serious things when they can take a moment to breathe, I included a few Chip Leighton “texts from college students” videos from The Leighton Show. More are peppered in this post. (As with last week, click near the lower left portion of the video to un-mute.) 

@the_leighton_show Posting one more for all the parents dropping kids off at college #teenagers #college #freshmanyear #text #funny ♬ original sound – The Leighton Show

HOW TO COMMUNICATE BEYOND TEXTS AND EMOJIS

Recently, I was surprised to find that most younger people don’t ring doorbells or knock; they text when they pull up outside. (Honestly, to keep from waking babies or making dogs go nuts, this is pretty smart!)

Gen Z students have often managed to get through life without learning some adulting skills with regard to communication and interaction. Before dropping them off on campus, make sure your kids have these skills. 

  • How to write, address, and mail a letter. Somewhere around fourth grade, they taught us how to write a “friendly” letter and a business letter, including the entire format of date, “inside address,” salutation, body, and appropriate closing. They also taught us how to address an envelope, where to put the return address, and where to place the stamp. Apparently, this is not taught anymore, as evidence by various Reddit threads, including the one below.

  • How to sign their name in cursive. Some elementary schools stopped teaching cursive in 2010, though there now seems to be a backlash against the removal. Whether or not your student knows how to write (even remotely legibly) in cursive, make sure they understand how to sign their legal name. 
  • How to write a grown-up, professional email. Use a clear subject line that indicates the purpose of the message. Write in full, grammatically-correct sentences. Spell check. Don’t use emoji or slang. (Seriously, no cap.) Except in a rare case when asked to do so, don’t address female professors as “Mrs.” That’s a social honorific, and this isn’t kindergarten. They’re either Professor or Doctor or (if TAs or adjuncts) Ms. (unless they ask you to use their first name). Don’t address professors of any gender as “Bro” or “Dude.”  (This goes for verbal communication, too!)
  • How to schedule an appointment (and how to reschedule or cancel one) — Your kid knows how to log into a web site and pick a time slot, but Gen Z is particularly phone-averse. Role play with them how to make a call to request an appointment with a doctor or dentist, to get their hair cut, to have their car evaluated or repaired, etc. Teach them how to summarize why they’re calling (whether to a gatekeeper or for voicemail).
  • How to leave voicemail — Guide them not to say, “Um, so this is Joe. I need you to call me back” without any hint of why. Young people are often nervous about calling strangers, so they should plan the message, mentally or even in writing.  Encourage them to think about why they’re calling — and what result (information? permission? assistance?) they need.

This is good advice for grownups, too, especially those suffer from social anxiety. Practice eases the process. State your name, phone number, and reason for calling so the recipient can do their legwork and get back to you at their convenience without wasting their time (or yours on a cycle of call tag).

  • How to write a thank you note — In case it’s been a while since you impressed upon your child the importance (and power) of this habit, share a classic Paper Doll post, Gratitude, Mr. Rogers, and How To Organize a Thank You Note and remind them, once again, that grandparents are more likely to send gifts (money? Apple gift cards? freshly baked cookies?) when thanked for their actions.
  • How to apologize authentically and effectively — Whether your student eats her roommate’s last yogurt or commits a more unpardonable act, don’t let kids go off to college without this essential life skill. Make sure they understand that “I’m sorry you got mad” is not an apology.

There’s an easy formula:

    • Use the words, “I’m sorry” or “I apologize.”
    • Take responsibility and state what you actually did wrong.
    • Illustrate that you understood the impact of your actions on the other individual.
    • Explain how you’ll ensure it won’t happen again, or show how you’ll make reparations.

STAY SAFE, ON CAMPUS AND OFF

There will likely be a safety workshop during orientation week. Encourage your student to attend and to understand what kind of built-in infrastructure the campus has for safety

Be Safe When Walking Around

When I attended college, we had a Blue Light service, poles throughout campus with blue lights at the top and telephones connected to Campus Safety. You could make a direct call (without a coin) or just hit the handsets as you ran from a horror movie monster (let’s ignore the more serious alternative) and campus safety peer volunteers and personnel would come out in force. There were also free “blue light buses” on campus to ferry people home safely at night. I was delighted to find out that this system is still in place, with some modern tech additions.

Nowadays, most campuses have high-end safety systems and apps. Still, encourage students to program the campus security number into their phones and know how to request an official campus peer escort. Other advice to impart:

  • Don’t walk alone, especially at night. Take heavily-trafficked routes with good lighting.
  • Let your roommate or BFF know where you are headed, and program your phone to share your real-time location (one time or ongoing) and ETA:

  • You’re probably not going to convince your college kid to never ride with strangers, but you can fund an Uber or Lyft account to make it easier to get home if they’ve gone to a concert or club off campus. You may also want to discuss GrownandFlown.com’s The 7 Ride Share Safety Tips Every Teen Needs to Know.

Be Safe in Your Dorm and When Out and About

  • Lock your room when not in it (so you don’t walk in to any surprises), or when you are, but lots of others aren’t around. 
  • Close and lock your windows when you are sleeping or not in your dorm, especially if you’re on the ground floor.
  • Program campus housing numbers into phones.You might be locked out of the dorm without keys or key cards or wallet, but nobody goes anywhere without their phones anymore.

Hopefully, you’ve had lots of conversations with your teen about how to have situational awareness when walking around (or studying, especially alone), how to be safe at parties, and how to figure out whom to trust. These kinds of skills can take many years to develop, but open conversations are the beginning.

This is an organizing blog, not a parenting blog, but I fervently hope that just as many parents will teach their sons the importance of not victimizing as they teach their daughters how not to be victims.

For more in-depth advice, You may also want to share:

Be Safe During Emergencies

Personal safety doesn’t just include watching out for bad guys. Your kids had fire drills in school, but they’re used to following an grownups instructions. Now that they’re the grownups, make sure they know:

  • How and when to call 911 vs. the police non-emergency line vs. the campus health center vs. the resident hall director).
  • When to go to the ER vs. urgent care, or the health center, or a family doctor (or to call the health insurance Ask-A-Nurse line…or Dr. Mom)
  • How to use a fire extinguisher. When I visited my old campus for my reunion in June, I saw that fire extinguishers had changed; they were neither the massively heavy ones I recalled from my youth nor the can-of-whipped-cream style I have at home. Have them read the instructions.
  • Pay attention to the exits when entering classroom or building, and know the safe exit path for the dorm.

While it’s designed primarily for families, your student might find Paper Doll Organizes You To Prepare for an Emergency to be a useful starting point.

Be Safe When Interacting with the Police

If you or anyone in your family or close circle is Black (or you’ve ever watched a Shonda Rhimes show), you almost certainly know about The Talk and have had it, and multiple iterations of it, before sending a child to college. 

However, if you are not a member of a visible minority, your have probably been privileged to not have to think about this. Role-model and practice so your college-bound student knows what to do if they are stopped while driving, riding, or walking — or if the police come to their dorms to make inquiries — or if they participate in a campus protest. 

If you watch police procedurals, you’re probably familiar with the concept of swatting, the practice of making a prank call to emergency services in order to get armed police officers dispatched to someone’s address. It happens to congressional representatives and judges, but it also happens to random people, including college students. It apparently started with online gamers being targeted by others playing the game.

Almost nobody gets through life without interacting with police officers, and whether it’s municipal police or campus security, student needs a skill set for handling potentially scary interactions

Again, this post is about organizing adulting skill sets. Beyond, “stay calm and don’t escalate,” I won’t advise you regarding what you should tell your children, but encourage you to talk to them about how to do it safely and with some starting points:

HOW TO STAY HEALTHY AT COLLEGE

Nobody gets to college without having had a booboo or a cold or a stomach bug, but a lot of parents find that their newly independent children experience a sense of amnesia once any of these things happen at college. Use the following as prompts to make sure your kids are ready for dealing with the owies of adult life.

Be Prepared for Medical Ickiness

Everyone eventually gets the crud, and being away from home makes it worse. However, knowing how to handle the experience makes having the yuckies marginally better. Make sure students know:

  • How to treat a sore throat, toothache, upset stomach (and related intestinal distresses) and minor viruses.
  • How to recognize symptoms (like a high fever) requiring professional medical intervention.
  • How the dosage on OTC and prescription medicine works. There’s a reason why it says “take no more than X in 24 hours” — because people thought X “in one day” meant they could have X at 11:45 p.m. and again at 12:15 a.m. Medication doesn’t follow a calendar.
  • How to fill and refill a prescription — If you’ve always done it for them, your student may not know about prescription numbers or number of refills available.
  • How to take maintenance medication or perform health activities without you having to remind them — You won’t be able to ask, “Did you take your ADHD meds today?” or “How many times did you check your blood glucose today?” Your student knows how to set an alarm on the phone, but walking them through how to label the alarms to make it clear which meds are for that specific alarm could help. Even “experienced” adults with established schedules forget to take meds when on vacation; college schedules are stress-inducing and can lead to forgetting, so help them help themselves.
  • Where the nearest 24-hour pharmacy is, before they need it — At some point, your student will need Pepto or condoms or feminine sanitary products or a COVID test at 3 a.m. Being prepared is half the battle.
  • How to do First Aid — Not everybody was a scout. I’m often shocked by people (OK, men. It’s always men) who don’t know how to properly clean a small wound, remove a splinter, or put on a bandage. You can’t anticipate everything — minor and major — need to know, so share the National Safety Council’s First Aid Video Library link. It’s impressive.
  • How to fill out health insurance forms at the doctor’s office. — Seriously, your kid should know their blood type without having to call and ask you. (That’s why I told you last week to give them copies of their medical history information.)

Booboo Bear Photo by Pixabay

How to Deal with College Life Ickiness

  • How to safely drink/consume things you’d prefer they didn’t partake of at all. 
  • How to help a friend who has unwisely or unsafely imbibed or consumed something. This might range from treating hangovers to knowing how to use NARCAN to the calling 911!
  • How basic hygiene works. Wash hands! — Feel like you shouldn’t have to explain this to an adult? Reread Organize Your Health: Parental Wisdom, Innovation, and the New Time Timer® Wash. Yes, it’s from the first year of COVID, but the unfathomable reminder that people forget to wash their hands is timeless.
  • Wash water bottles. — We didn’t even have bottled water when I was in college. Now, Stanley cups (not the hockey kind) are everywhere. And no, just because there’s only water in it doesn’t mean it’s clean. Microbes are icky. (Secret cleaning trick? Denture tablets!)

How to Deal with Grown-Up Issues

I hope you and your student have the kind of relationship where you can discuss “adult” things without (too much) awkwardness. I was lucky that Paper Mommy always made a safe space to talk about difficult issues, but not everyone has that ability (or that parent).

You may have had that other version of “The Talk” with your student in adolescence, but whether you’re dealing with reproductive care or mental health or anything sensitive, at the very least encourage your college-bound student to talk. Say that you hope they’ll talk to you, but even if not, that there are many safe places (starting with the campus health center) to find accurate information and supportive care. Some of the issues they may need to contend with include:

  • Safe sex 
    • How to use contraception properly
    • How to say no, at any point in the process, and maintain healthy boundaries 
    • How to be secure consent and step back if there is no consent
  • Mental health
    • How to recognize the signs of depression or anxiety (or other mental health concerns) in themselves and their friends, including social isolation or an increase in risky behaviors, or changes in academic performance, mood, sleep or eating habits, or personal hygiene.
    • Where to seek mental health help, on campus or virtually
  • Self-care — Remind your beloved child of their options for caring for their mental health,  including:
    • taking breaks
    • exercising
    • getting out in nature
    • talking to friends
    • journaling
    • calling home
    • speaking with a therapist
    • understanding that everyone has problems, they are manageable, and there is support available

For your purposes, peruse Empowering Wellness: Supporting Freshman Health and Well-Being from College Parents of America, and perhaps get your kid a copy of something like  The Greatest College Health Guide You Never Knew You Needed: How to Manage Food, Booze, Stress, Sex, Sleep, and Exercise on Campus before they leave for campus.

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How to Stay Marginally Fit and Well-Fed at College

When I was in college in the late 1980s, except for student athletes, almost nobody went to the gym except for a required physical education class. I had to pass a swim test and take two gym classes. I took bowling and yoga. I got marginally better at bowling. Yoga was in the (padded) wrestling room on the other side of campus at 8 a.m. I have zero memories of it. Modern gym classes have come a long way from the choice of sports or Jane Fonda-level aerobics.

Your student may follow every bit of wisdom you’ve provided for the past 18 years. They may eat colorful fruits and vegetables at every meal; they probably won’t get scurvy.

They may take a fun workout class with friends; they may get the bare minimum movement just walking to class. They may waste the money you’ve spent on a 3-meals a day/7 days a week meal plan and eat leftover pizza every morning.

You cannot control this.

There are serious issues, like eating disorders; there are far less issues about which you should not make a big deal, like the freshman 15. For now, just make sure they have the skills that will help them make their best decisions, and then back off. 

  • How to read nutrition labels — I find that women my age have spent so much of our lives reading these, we forget that lots of teen girls don’t scrutinize these labels, and that teen boys (unless they are wrestlers) often have never even glanced at them. Explain the key concepts.
  • The value of eating calories and not drinking them — This applies to alcohol as well as soft drinks. Try to encourage getting calories from things that require chewing.
  • Understand food safety and kitchen hygiene — The USDA’s Food Safety Tips for College Students is a good start.

When your student leaves the dorm and meal plan behind and gets an off-campus apartment, you can discuss how to meal plan to save time during the week, and how to shop on a budget and understand the value of generic/store-brand food products vs. brand names. That’s next summer’s problem.

@the_leighton_show Your comments do not disappoint #freshman #collegelife #text #son #daughter #dad #mom #parentsoftiktok #humor #greenscreen ♬ original sound – The Leighton Show

HOW TO MASTER LAUNDRY AT COLLEGE

In 1985, my friend Paul’s mother created a double-sided set of laundry instructions, laminated it, and attached it with rivets and cords to his laundry bag. It was genius.

Whether your kids do laundry all the time at home or they call detergent and fabric softener “sauces,” there will be college laundry catastrophes. At least try to:

  • Identify what they own must be dry cleaned or hand washed (and then discourage them from taking those items to college).
  • Explain the basics of separating new, colorful clothes from whites to avoid a pink wardrobe.
  • Practice using the iPhone’s Visual Lookup to identify laundry symbols and explain care instructions. 

  • Remind them to empty pockets before washing things.
  • Remind them how good it feels to sleep on freshly laundered sheets when they’re stressed or sick. (They won’t wash sheets and towels as often as you do at home, but this may help.)
  • Go to the laundry room in the dorm on move-in day and explain anything that’s different from your washer/dryer at home. The detergent slot may be in a different place; the lint trap may be weirdly located.
  • Some college laundry facilities use plastic reloadable cards for access; others have apps. Still, many dorms (and almost all laundromats) require quarters. Hand off a few rolls of quarters and they’re less likely to come home at Thanksgiving with a semester’s worth of laundry.
  • Read (and encourage them to read) a post from the Paper Doll vault,  5 “Real Simple” Reasons We Don’t Get the Laundry (or Paperwork) Done. It’s about laundry, but it’s also about productivity. It couldn’t hurt. 

There’s a fine line between being a helicopter parent and making sure your kid doesn’t have to be airlifted out of a dangerous situation. Hopefully this series is helping you identify what remains to be discussed with your student.

Next time, we’ll finish off with tips on how to help them:

  • Develop time management skills to keep the student and work and social balls in the air
  • Achieve academically without a guidance counselor, study hall, or a scheduled lunch period
  • Keep the car from breaking down before making it back into the driveway for Thanksgiving
  • Acquire random life skills so your student’s roommate doesn’t think you’ve dropped off an alien

See you next time.

Posted on: July 29th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 10 Comments


In a matter of weeks, fresh-faced first-year college students will be headed off to begin their adult lives.

Everyone needs a little organizational guidance on this path. Last week, I re-shared a popular post from the Paper Doll vault, Paper Doll & Real Simple Organize Dorm Rooms: SUPER-EXTENDED Edition, looking at how to organize a dorm room for maximum comfort and productivity.

There’s a lot of support out there for getting the right stuff to make college life easier. IKEA has created a stellar master list of what to take to college that likely exceeds whatever your student’s department of residence life has forwarded. If you care mainly about having the right electronic solutions, you can scroll through pieces like Back to School — 10 Cool Tech Gadgets for 2024.

Taking advantage of the “college lists,” reminiscent of the photocopied (and previously, mimeographed) lists of teacher’s required school supplies, can put most parents and students on a fairly level playing field. Well, at least in terms of the tangibles, like basic creature comforts necessary to sleep, study, and snack while paying at least a modicum of attention to personal hygiene and health while at college.

The stuff is one thing. However, not all 18-year-olds arrive at college with the same levels of maturity, knowledge, and awareness of the world. TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube sensation Chip Leighton of The Leighton Show hit it big the last past few years with his series of videos of funny texts from teenagers.

But Leighton really caught my eyes with the texts from college students. These texts, and the rush of comments from parents illustrating their own young people’s texts, help us realize that parents and guardians may need to do more than they realize to prepare offspring for independent life on the planet

Some things are universal — students arrive at college not having a handle on how to do laundry or manage their finances. But the deeper I’ve gone into talking with clients with kids at college (and, yes, reading the hysterical — and embarrassing — stories from parents in Leighton’s comments sections), I’ve realized that there are ways in which kids are ill-prepared for college (and life beyond) in a ways that adults may not realize.

Today’s post and the rest of this series is a starter kit for the issues to discuss with your college-bound Gen-Zers before they risk endangering their lives, messing up their financial histories, or embarrassing themselves in front of age cohorts who have been better prepared for life “in the real world.”

ESSENTIAL INFORMATION AND PAPERWORK

Before we get into what your college students need to know, we should look at what documents they need to possess and understand.

Social Security Number

If you’re an American, your kid already has Social Security numbers. But do they actually know it?

This is the number you most need to memorize for the next six or more decades. Once at college, students will find they need to provide a student ID number and Social Security number on forms all the time. If they haven’t memorized it as a result of the college application process, now is the time to help them remember it.

You’ll have to discuss whether it makes sense for your student to take the actual card to school, or if it’s best kept safely in the family home until or unless they need it for official reasons. If they do take it to school, remind them that it shouldn’t live in their wallet or anywhere it could be lost or easily stolen.

Contact information for the important people in their lives

Yes, college-bound students mainly text people, but at some point, you might point out that if they send a real letter (or even a postcard) to Grandma, she might be inclined to send back money or a tin of cookies or some sort of care package.

College students need to have phone numbers, email addresses, and mailing/shipping addresses at the ready. And while yes, they can text Mom and Dad for the answers, warn them that they may end up as an example on Leighton’s TikTok or Instagram page!

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Encourage or even help them to memorize a few essential phone numbers in case their phones are ever lost, stolen, or damaged. Of course, the era of Snoopy address books is probably long gone, so this is a plug for making sure you urge them to back up their phones to their (or your family’s) iCloud or Google Drive.

Health records

At some point in the weeks before college, aspiring first-years need to provide proof of immunizations plus information regarding their medical history of epilepsy, diabetes, or any other physical or mental health conditions that might impact a student’s life at college or need for medical accommodations, per the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973.

But sending the requested documentation to the school isn’t enough; your newly-minuted adult needs to know and have access to this information. Make sure they either have a paper folder for medical records or a shared digital folder, perhaps in Dropbox, where you mutually maintain potentially necessary information.

It’s not enough that Mom & Dad and the school can access these things; your child may need to provide medical professionals with information about their blood type, health conditions (past and present), medications, surgeries, etc. (Seriously, your kids need to know their blood type!)

Legal documents related to healthcare

There are two federal laws related to maintaining the privacy of a student’s medical records. Both refer to when students are aged 18 or above, and in the first case, when students are at college. 

The first is the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). It protects the privacy of a students’ educational records, including a student’s treatment or care at a campus health center (as well as grades and academic standing, and any disciplinary actions against them). This applies not only to students who have reached 18, but all college students.

The second, you are likely to have more familiarity with. The Health Information Portability and Accountability Act, commonly known as HIPAA, protects all medical information.

If a student has turned 18, or in the case of FERPA, is at college, Mom and Dad don’t have any legal right to access this information. But of course, that doesn’t mean your student might not want you to have access. This means you need to talk to them about three essential documents that will allow you to know what’s going on with them if they need medical care and allow you to make decisions for them if they are unable

  • HIPAA Release — This grants you permission to be involved in knowing what’s going on with your student’s health situation. You’ve probably had to sign a lot of your own HIPAA releases, so you know that your student will need to specify each health care provider (so, a physician, a healthcare center, a hospital) whom they authorize to release medical/treatment information. Your student’s school health care center may have links to release forms on their web site. For security, encourage your student to fill out a HIPAA release before drop-off day.
  • FERPA Waiver — This allows a student to select what kinds of information they want to share with their parents. Rather than giving blanket access, the student can choose to grant access to medical records but not grades, or vice versa. The college registrar’s office can provide a FERPA waivers, which may be a paper or online form.  
  • Power of Attorney for Healthcare (also called a healthcare proxy) — We’ve talked about this document many times, including in How to Create, Organize, and Safeguard 5 Essential Legal and Estate Documents.

Whereas a HIPAA release and FERPA waiver allow you to be part of the conversation about your young person’s medical status, a Power of Attorney for Healthcare allows you to make medical decisions for your 18+ student in the unfortunate event they are unable to do so.

Google “Power of Attorney for Healthcare” or “Medical Power of Attorney” and your state name to find sample forms online. (If your student is attending school out of state, you may need a form for both states.)

Obviously, keep copies of these documents in a secure place where you will be able to access them if your student has medical needs requiring your support.

Help Them Register to Vote

I am cautiously hopeful that I shouldn’t have to explain to you (nor you to your college-bound student) why it’s essential to be politically aware and educated, to register to vote, and to exercise that vote (not just for the highest offices, but for all down-ticket offices and ballot measures).

“I Voted” Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

Laws governing registering to vote vary by state. Some states have voting by mail; others strictly require voting in person and limit absentee ballots. Deadlines also vary by state. Determine with your child whether it makes sense to register in your home county or (if possible and/or necessary) at their college residents. Be aware that voter registration deadlines are looming in many states.

Once they’re registered to vote, teach them how to evaluate candidates and issues, how to secure an absentee ballot (if applicable), and make sure they know their protections. (For example, once they are in line to vote, no matter how long the line is, or how far past official poll closing hours, they should stay in line and are guaranteed the right to cast a ballot.)

Share resources, such as:

The point is not to tell your student for whom they should vote, but to empower them with all the resources so that they can make educated decisions that reflect their beliefs, and to understand the value of their participation in the process.

ADULTING SKILLS & KNOWLEDGE BASE 101

It would take a book (see the end of today’s post) and not merely a blog post to review all the things you should make sure first-year students should know before they head off to college. But you really don’t want to get a text like the ones in this video. (Be sure to click the audio icon at the bottom to un-mute. If you want to play it again, click the “replay” circular arrow icon in the lower left corner, not the play button in the middle of the screen.)  

@the_leighton_show Posting this again for all the parents who just dropped kids off at college #teenager #text #college #freshman #funny ♬ original sound – The Leighton Show

 

A Punch List for Adulting

The rest of this post is not designed to tell you how to teach what your kids need to know; that will depend on your family’s location, lifestyle, standards, and values. Rather, treat it as a punch list.

Traditionally, a punch list is a document that lists the final work items remaining before a construction project is considered complete. More specifically, contractors use a punch list to add all the work that isn’t included in the official specifications in the construction contract; it’s the stuff that comes up later. The punch list is often made up of various tasks that were skipped because they weren’t considered originally or overlooked in favor of tasks that were more important at the time.

Well, your kid is your construction project. You’ve been building this project for 18 or so years, and you’re ready for the closing date, but you don’t want to suddenly realize there’s no time left to complete or fix what left undone. What follows today and in this series, will provide opportunities for you to tighten the bannister on the ladder of your child’s college years and adult life.

How Money Works

Many people get out into the post-college world without any idea how manage their finances.

Sometimes this is because their parents aren’t equipped to teach them the skills; other times, parents assume that certain knowledge and skills are common sense.

However, I can assure you that writing a check is no more “common sensical” to the average college-bound Gen-Z student than mobile deposits or CashApp is to your average elder Boomer or Silent Generation grandparent. 

Talk to your student to figure out what they need to know about the following:

  • How to create a budget (and keep to it)
  • How to track when bills are due and ensure they pay them on time (and understand the basics of how interest rates, fines, and fees rack up)
  • How to write a check (because yes, sometimes that’s the only way to pay for something)
  • How to endorse a check (see above, re: Grandma)
  • How to fill out a deposit slip and withdrawal ticket, and how to comport themselves in a bank, in case ATMs are down and they actually have to (gasp!) speak to someone.
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  • How to use a banking app (including for mobile deposit of a check)
  • How to use a check register — Sigh, I know this is a lost cause these days, but learning how to keep a check register (even if you never write a check) is the key to reconciling and balancing your account and thus keeping from being overdrawn or going over budget.
  • How to call, go online, or use the bank app to check the bank balance.
  • How to safely use mobile financial and payment apps — For those of us who rarely, if ever, use such apps, it can be a surprise that the default is for users of platforms like Venmo to share and display transactions (and who they paid)!

Encourage kids to keep transaction information on financial sharing apps private. Nerdwallet’s What College Students Need to Know About Payment Apps has some sound advice for protecting against fraud and safely using these apps.

  • How to understand the difference between checking and savings accounts, and between debit and credit cards. If your student does not already have a bank account, make sure to help them open one that has a branch (and ATMs) in their college community in order to avoid non-member ATM fees. Make sure they understand which ATM networks they are in and how to identify non-member ATMs.

More generally, ensure your student understands how banks work — and how your family finances will work as it pertains to them while they’re at college.

If you’ll be funding some or all of their at-school lives, explain how much money you will provide them (at the start of the semester, or each month), what they will be responsible for covering, and what to do in a financial emergency.

They may be new adults, but they are still your children, so encourage them to come to you with problems so you can problem-solve together. (This is good advice for non-financial situations, as well.)

Make sure your student understands how credit works, and discourage opening lines of credit early on. Most of the predatory methods for signing college kids up for credit cards that were common when I was an undergraduate are now illegal. Still, help them to be wary. They can sign up and start building a credit history later in their undergraduate years.

  • How to tip, when to tip, and how to determine how much to tip
  • How to sign up for student discounts on everything from computers to clothes, electronics to entertainment, retail shopping to restaurant food.

This may require showing a student ID at a local store, downloading an app, granting permission to be texted or emailed, or other more privacy-invading options. Your student will have to weigh the discount against the value of granting a company access to them. For starters, check out these resources for getting student discounts:

If this is your first go-round with sending a kid off to college, I recognize that this might be overwhelming. Your student’s college will likely provide some financial literacy workshops during orientation and ongoing, but don’t depend on them having the time or inclination to check them out.

Start by working through Study Corgi‘s A College Student’s Guide to Financial Literacy: Benefits, Tips, + Resources. It has some stellar infographics, links, and resources for guiding a young person through getting a handle on all-things-financial. 

Another good option is The Financial Diet‘s The College Student’s Guide To Money video series on YouTube. It covers budgeting, saving, investing, mindset, and making big money decisions. Start here and then continue on with the playlist:

How Insurance Works

Your student may need some or all of the following insurance coverage while at school:

  • Health insurance — The college may offer a healthcare plan. When I was in college, I was covered by both my parents’ plan and the school’s plan, but things have changed since I was a student and dinosaurs roamed the earth.

The Affordable Care Act (ACA) guarantees that your child can stay on your health insurance until reaching the age of 26. If your student is staying in-state, that should be relatively straightforward; if they’re attending college out of state, and depending on whether they will need a Marketplace plan, your student may need to apply separately. Begin familiarizing yourself with the options described on the ACA page for college students.

Doctor with stethoscope photo by Online Marketing on Unsplash

Students need to understand how co-pays, co-insurance, deductibles, and out-of-pocket limits work. Start by walking them through Paper Doll Explains Your Health Insurance Explanation of Benefits. (Who knows; you might learn something, too. Meanwhile, your student will be head-and-shoulders above where most college kids are in understanding health insurance.)

  • Car insuranceStudents taking cars to college need to have insurance. Maybe your student will be on your insurance; maybe they’ll get their own policy. However your family arranges finances, it’s essential your student understands how car insurance works (and what to do in a car-related emergency).

Students, and young people in general, might be inclined to pick the least expensive coverage without knowing what it actually covers and what it doesn’t.

As with health insurance, a lot of the language surrounding car insurance can be mystifying. Try reading Organize for an Accident: Don’t Crash Your Car Insurance Paperwork [UPDATED] together to gauge what questions they might still have so you can help them make good decisions now and in the future.

Toy Car Photo by Atish Sewmangel on Unsplash

Along with standard car insurance, you may want to sign your student up for AAA or an automobile club associated with a family credit card, insurance company, or car manufacturer. Most services are fairly inexpensive and will give you (and your student) confidence in case the car needs urgent towing or emergency roadside assistance

  • Renter’s insurance — Homeowners know they have to have insurance, but young people (and renters, in general), are sometime surprised to realize that they should have coverage for their rented apartments. In fact, some apartment complexes require it. Luckily, renter’s insurance is (relatively) inexpensive at between $100 and $200 a year. 

Most colleges don’t require separate renter’s insurance for students living in a dorm. Parents should consult their own agents to see if their homeowner’s insurance will cover their student’s “stuff” while off at college.

Remember, renter’s insurance doesn’t just cover the cost of replacing expensive items (like computers) if they are stolen or damaged; it can also protected your whole family from liability claims if your student accidentally injures someone or damages their property. 


This is just the beginning of the advice and considerations you’ll want to discuss with your college-bound student. As this series continues next week, we’ll explore more topics, including how to:

  • Stay safe (guard your personal safety on campus)
  • Avoid an all-pink wardrobe (AKA: how to do laundry)
  • Keep the crud away (how to protect health and hygiene)
  • Stay fit and fed (what college kids should know about exercise and nutrition at school)
  • Master time management at college
  • Care for a car at school
  • Develop essential adulting skills 

The next post will also have some follow-up resources, both for parents and students, to be as prepared as possible for college life.

Until next time, when we get deeper into these resources, give yourself grace if you are stressed about sending your “construction project” off to college. Whether Leighton’s videos makes you laugh or just comfort you that you’re not alone in your frustrations with GenZ, you might want to look at his book, What Time Is Noon?: Hilarious Hilarious Texts, Ridiculous Feedback, and Not-So-Subtle Advice from Teenagers

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