Archive for ‘Paper Organizing’ Category
The Ultimate Guide to Organizing Yourself to Vote
WHAT DOES VOTING HAVE TO DO WITH ORGANIZING?
The word organize has three common meanings:
- to arrange, assemble, or put in order your tangible stuff (or activities or thoughts) so you can access what you need when you want it, to be more productive
- to coordinate, assemble, and unify a group, as when organizing a search party for a missing child or organizing in a union to collectively bargain
- to mobilize in support of a cause or effort you value, like Save the Seals (remember that, GenX?) or “Fix the Pot Hole on Main Street!”, or to get a candidate elected or a ballot proposition approved or rejected
In the United States, National Voter Registration Day is September 17, 2024, and no matter what you believe regarding any given issue or candidate, it’s hard to make a difference if your resources and information are disorganized.
To that end, today’s non-partisan post includes everything you need to know to exercise your right to vote, no matter your opinion on candidates, propositions, or pot holes.
(Dear non-US readers; please feel free to post non-partisan links about organizing to vote in your countries in the comment section.)
KNOW YOUR “WHY”
We do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
~ Thomas Jefferson
No matter which candidates get your vote or what positions you take on any given issue, don’t let disorganization to be an obstacle to voting.
If you’re an American citizen over the age of 18, you have the right to cast votes regarding a wide variety of national issues and policies, including:
- The Economy
- The Environment and Energy policy
- Foreign policy
- Healthcare
- Immigration
- Reproductive and Family Issues
- Veterans’ Affairs
It’s not just federal policies and candidates. You never know when you’ll care about a school board vote that impacts your kids, a zoning issue, or a noise ordinance related to a neighbor’s teenage beau boosting Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes at maximum decibels in the wee hours.
Voting preserves your right to have a say in how your community (school district, town, city, state, and nation) will be governed. It also allows you to model community organization and civic responsibility for your children or grandchildren.
REGISTER TO VOTE
Let’s start with the basics of voter registration.
Know your state’s voting eligibility requirements.
You would think voting eligibility requirements would be uniform across all fifty states, but nope. (Note: residents of the United States’ territories can vote in presidential primaries, but not the presidential election, nor in Congressional or Senate races.)
Between 1812 and 1860, property ownership qualifications to vote were progressively abolished. In 1870, non-white men gained the right to vote. Until the 19th Amendment, ratified in 1920, only twenty states granted women the right to vote.
Even then, in effect, only white women were guaranteed suffrage, as poll taxes and civic literacy tests disenfranchised the poor and people of color. (Poll taxes were stuck down by the 24th Amendment; the Voting Rights Act of 1965 outlawed discriminatory state voting practices.)
Native Americans weren’t granted the right to vote until 1924, and that right wasn’t guaranteed until 1948. And of course, the 26th Amendment lowered the minimum voting age requirement from 21 to 18 in 1971, when Paper Doll was only four years old, but already really wanted to vote.
Federal voting regulations aside, individual states have varying rules regarding voter eligibility. In order to vote in federal and state elections, you must be a citizen, of “sound mind,” and over the age of 18, but most states have residency requirements.
In 1972, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down one-year residency requirements, ruling that anything in excess of 30 to 50 days violated equal protection of the Fourteenth Amendment.
And given that residency implies an address, the passage of the National Voter Registration Act of 1993 and 2002’s Help America Vote Act — in addition to modernizing voting technology — removed registration impediments and ruled unhoused people may not be denied the right to vote based on their lack of a permanent address.
Thirteen states (Alaska, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Montana, New Jersey, Utah, Vermont, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming) and Puerto Rico do not require a mailing address, and in Arizona and Nebraska, homeless citizens may use county clerks’ offices and court houses as their mailing addresses.
Most states have regulations restricting the voting eligibility of convicted felons while in prison or on parole, while convicted felons in Kentucky and Virginia lose the right to vote in perpetuity. (Florida recently reversed its law in this regard, but … it’s complicated.)
Know your state’s voter registration deadline
As befits a nation that initially considered itself to be a collection of smaller nations, each state has its own voter registration deadlines.
Twenty-two states require registration between 16 and 30 days prior to Election Day (Tuesday, November 5th this year). Six states require registration from 1 to 15 days prior to election day, and twenty-two states and Washington, DC allow registration at your polling place on Election Day.
Fill out the “paperwork” to register to vote.
Your paperwork may not be on paper; forty-three states (plus DC and Guam) allow online voter registration, up from only fourteen in 2008 when I first wrote about organizing to vote. However, you must register to vote by mail or in person in Arkansas, Mississippi, Montana, New Hampshire, South Dakota, Texas, and Wyoming.
Notably, North Dakota does not require voters to register, having abolished advanced registration in 1951! As long as you’ve lived in the state for 30 days and have valid ID, you can vote.
To register:
- Check online, call, or drop by your Board of Elections to request a registration application.
- The National Voter Registration Act of 1993, also called the Motor Voter Act, made it possible to register when you apply for or renew a driver’s license or at government agencies when applying for public assistance and disability.
- Find your state election offices at USA.gov, or Google “board of elections” or “election commission” and your county name plus the state (because there are 31 Washington Counties, 26 Jefferson Counties, and 25 Franklin Counties).
- Use the master voter registration document at Vote.org, or scroll down on that page to find your state’s voter registration site.
Review your voter registration card and keep it safe
Voter registration cards show your voting precinct (which determines where you vote) and districts (e.g., Congressional, State Senate and House, school district, county/city district, etc.) for individual campaigns, referenda, and ballot initiatives.
File your card with your VIP papers, and make a notation on your calendar to bring your card to the polls on Election Day (or on early voting days, if applicable). You may only need your photo ID, but I recommend always taking your voter registration card with you to vote, especially if you registered recently.
SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES FOR REGISTERING AND VOTING
If you or someone you know needs assistance with registering to vote and securing a ballot, check the following resources.
College Students
Students should determine whether they will register to vote in their home states or at school. They are likely to be first-time voters and unfamiliar with residency requirements, party registration, absentee ballots, and the election process. These resources will help.
- Away at College: Where Do You Vote? (FindLaw)
- How to Vote in College: Know Your Rights (BestColleges)
- Out of State College Student Voting Guide (All-In Challenge)
- Voting as a College Student (Vote.org)
Disabled Voters
- The Americans with Disabilities Act and Other Federal Laws Protecting the Rights of Voters with Disabilities (ADA.gov)
- Resources for Voters with Disabilities (US Election Assistance Commission)
- Voters with Disabilities Activated (National Disabilities Rights Network)
- Voting with a Disability (Vote.gov)
- Voting Accessibility (US Election Assistance Commission)
Members of the US Military
- Military and Overseas Voters UOCAVA (US Election Assistance Commission)
- Military Voters (Federal Voting Assistance Program)
- Voting During Military Service (FindLaw)
- Voting While You’re Away From Home: The Absentee Voting Process (Military One Source)
Overseas and Expat Voters
Are you an American citizen reading Paper Doll from somewhere outside of the U.S.? Howdy! These non-partisan sites can help you register and vote from abroad:
- Election Assistance Commission
- Federal Voting Assistance Program
- Overseas Vote Foundation
- Vote from Abroad
Unhoused voters
- Every One Votes (National Alliances to End Homelessness) — including A Toolkit to Ensure People Experiencing Homelessness Can Exercise Their Right To Vote
- The Homeless Vote: Can You Legally Cast a Ballot? (FindLaw)
- Step-by-Step Voting Guide for People Experiencing Homelessness (United States Interagency Council on Homelessness)
- Voting for People with Nontraditional Residences (The National Conference of State Legislatures)
- You Don’t Need a Home to Vote (The National Coalition on the Homeless ) includes a voter information primer and a 2024 voting rights manual
CHECK YOUR VOTER REGISTRATION
Perhaps you registered to vote years or decades ago. Even if you wore an “I Like Ike” button, registering to vote once is not enough. Even after you register, there are multiple ways you can fall off the rolls, as Archie Bunker learned years ago!
If you haven’t voted in several election cycles — whether presidential or mid-term elections — your state may remove you from the rolls.
If you move, even within a state, you have to register in your new location. Update your registration even if you move neighborhoods in the same town, as dividing lines for school and legislative districts are narrowly drawn.
You may be purged from the rolls by accident, such as if you share a name with someone who died, or intentionally as part of partisan disenfranchisement efforts.
Check your voter registration soon, before the deadline for registering in your locale, to ensure that you are able to vote on election day. Contact your local board of elections, or go to https://www.vote.org/am-i-registered-to-vote/ to use the state-by-state lookup.
LOCATE YOUR POLLING PLACE
Your voter registration card should specify your polling place. Alternatively, many boards of elections or election commissions let you safely log in to your registration with information like your name, birthdate, and part of your Social Security number (which they already have on record).
Or, use Vote.org’s Polling Place Locator.
Photo by Elliott Stallion on Unsplash
If you have early voting in your jurisdiction, it may be at a different polling place than the one listed on your registration card. My Election Day polling place is within walking distance of my home; however, to avoid inclement weather or having to rush on a client day, I vote at one of the four early voting locations in my city.
OR, ARRANGE TO VOTE BY MAIL
Voting by mail has become more popular, particularly since COVID, but as with other voting regulations, the rules vary by state. This method, usually referred to as an absentee ballot, reduces crowding at the polls, increases voter participation, and makes it easier for college students, people with disabilities, members of the armed services, travelers, and others to cast their votes.
In eight states (California, Colorado, Hawaii, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, Vermont, and Washington) and the District of Columbia every eligible voter can vote by mail. (And in Colorado and Oregon, all eligible voters are mailed a ballot without even having to request one.)
Voters in those eight states and DC can generally return ballots through the USPS, in-person at election offices, or in secure drop-boxes. In states that have in-person voting, voters may still opt to vote at the polling place.
Paul Sableman, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
But what if you live in the 42 states and 14 territories that don’t run all elections by mail? There, eligible voters must request a ballot.
Some have a “no-excuse” ballot system; request a ballot for any reason. Other states require you submit a “valid excuse,” which might be that you will be out of state for business or out of the country due to work or military service, that you will be hospitalized or otherwise too infirm to vote; some states let everyone over 65 vote by mail.
The duration of absentee ballot status can vary. In some states, like New York or Georgia, once you request an absentee ballot, you’ll receive one for all elections, whether federal, state, or local, general elections or primaries. In others, voters must request absentee ballots for every single election in which they intend to vote.
Scroll down on this FindLaw page for a comprehensive list of each state’s requirement for requesting an absentee ballot and voting by mail. Where applicable, it provides a link to each state’s absentee ballot application.
Make sure you’re registered to vote by the applicable deadline, then contact your county’s Board of Elections or your state’s Secretary of State for an absentee ballot.
SECURE THE RIGHT IDENTIFICATION
Your voter registration card proves you registered (at some point) but it can’t be used as ID to vote.
If you live somewhere like Dixville Notch, a tiny New Hampshire polling district of four registered voters, the poll worker is likely your daughter-in-law or third grade teacher who knows you. However, most jurisdictions require you to show some kind of government photo ID, like a driver’s license, state-issued ID card, military or tribal ID, or a passport, and even locations without strict voter ID laws require first-time voters who’ve registered online or by mail to show ID.
Other states accept non-photo identification with proof of name and address. For example, in Arizona you can bring your Indian Census card; in Kansas, government-issued concealed carry handgun or weapon licenses and government-issued public assistance ID cards are acceptable ID; Virginia allows valid student IDs.
Even states that are strict regarding photo ID have exemptions, such as for those with a religious objection to being photographed, or have impediments to getting an ID (due to indigence or after a natural disaster). Wisconsin has confidential voting for victims of domestic abuse, sexual assault, or stalking.
Check your state’s voter ID laws at your board of elections website or this list from the National Conference of State Legislatures.
Alternatively, use the map at VoterRiders.org and the cursor over your state to see what proof of identification your state requires. States are divided by strict and non-strict photo ID laws, strict and non-strict non-photo ID laws, and states with no specific ID required.
If you have none of the appropriate categories of identification required by your state, you’ll want to get a state-issued photo ID card. In most cases, this will require presenting a copy of your birth certificate, as explained in How to Replace and Organize 7 Essential Government Documents.
All this aside, if you don’t have your ID, you can generally cast a provisional ballot by signing an affidavit, signing a poll book, and providing biographical information. (You may also cast a provisional ballot if your identity or right to vote is challenged by a poll worker or election official, or if your name is not on the poll or registration list on Election Day.)
MAKE A PLAN FOR WHEN AND HOW YOU WILL VOTE
Very little gets done unless you organize your schedule to do it.
Think of voting the way you might think of leaving on a trip. Normally, you might get in your car, drive to the airport, park, and fly. Or perhaps you arrange to have a friend drive you. But if you wait until the last minute and you have a dead battery or flat tire, or your friend’s child has the flu but no baby sitter, you’d have to scramble to figure out whether you’d call another friend, get a rideshare, or find some other solution.
Voting is not time-specific, but it’s day-specific, and the lines in some precincts can be as long as those for TSA. And if you were planning to vote after work, but you got delayed by weather or traffic, you might be cutting it close.
When and how will you vote?
Look at your schedule and figure out:
- Will you vote by mail? How will you remember to get your ballot in the mail or to a drop-box by deadline?
- Will you vote early? What day? How will you accommodate your schedule and remind yourself to go? At which early voting polling place can you vote?
- If you’re voting on Election Day, what time will you go and how will you get there?
Borrow some accountability and vote with a friend. Arrange to vote together (early or on Election Day) or even drop your mail-in votes at a drop-box together, then celebrate your right to vote with an ice cream, adult beverage, or meal.
How will you get to the polls?
If you’re going to the polls in person, either on Election Day or when voting early, plan how you’ll get there, and create a backup plan in case something goes awry.
If you are able, offer rides to those who may lack transportation or the physical ability to get to the polls on their own.
If you need help getting to the polls:
- Ask friends or neighbors how they are voting and see if you can ride with them.
- Ask if your house of worship is transporting congregants to the polls for early voting.
- Get free rides to vote early via Lime, as well as access to free scooters and e-bikes through Vote Early Day.
- Check to see if your locality offers free public transportation via bus or rail on Election Day.
- Call your public library or your state’s League of Women Voters to find out what assistance is available locally to help voters get to the polls.
- Ride Lyft, partnering with Levi Strauss & Co. and Showtime/MTV, to providing discounted rides to the polls.
RESEARCH THE BALLOT
Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education.
~Franklin D. Roosevelt
You may be able to log into your board of elections or election commission site to see a sample ballot prior to any local, primary, or general election. Alternatively, use:
- League of Women Voters‘ Vote 411 — Provide your state to get your voting information. Closer to the election, click on the Candidate and Ballot Measure Information tab.
- LWW’s 411 also offers a personalized ballot — Enter your address and view (or print) ballot guidance.
- Ballotpedia is a digital encyclopedia of elections. Pick federal, state, and local elections, as well as ballot measures, from the sidebar to aid your research, or look up your sample ballot.
- Vote.org has a See What’s On Your Ballot feature.
Then, evaluate candidate and party web sites, read news articles, and ask the opinion of people you respect.
PROTECT YOUR RIGHTS
We don’t want seven-year-olds or random Peruvians or visitors from Alpha Centauri to pick our city councilperson or mayor, but we do (or at least should) want everyone citizen to be able to exercise the right to vote without fear of threats or violence, or even ignorance on the part of un untrained person.
I mean, how often have we heard about the airport employee who insists that people with driver’s licenses from New Mexico or the District of Columbia need to show passports because they don’t know these places are in the United States?
If you are in line when the polling hours close, stay in line. By law, as long as you are in line, you are guaranteed the right to vote.
If you are threatened with violence or otherwise experience or observe intimidation:
- Report intimidation to the Election Protection Hotline at 1-866-OUR-VOTE. (Put the number in your phone.)
- Report threats to your state and local election officials.
If you are denied the right to vote:
- Give a sworn statement to a poll worker that you satisfy the qualifications to vote in your state, and then proceed to cast a ballot (or provisional ballot).
APPRECIATE HOW YOU GOT THE RIGHT TO VOTE
Over the centuries, many have fought to secure and protect your right to vote. The following three videos from U.S. Capitol Historical Society explain the evolution of the Constitutional amendments that secured that right.
Not only is Tuesday, September 17, 2024 National Voter Registration Day, but it’s also Constitution Day. What better way to celebrate than to make sure you’re organized and registered to vote.
How to Organize Your Response to the 2024 National Public Data Breach
Hack! Breach! Data theft!
You see a news story about yet another company getting hacked, or you receive a letter from some service provider telling you that their servers were “breached.” Sometimes the letter offers advice, or perhaps a year of free credit monitoring.
Organizing your records, passwords, financial resources, and entire identity to protect against identity theft is exhausting. It would be understandable if you tend to tune out any news about such hacks and breaches.
Over the past week or so, however, you might have heard about a particularly nasty breach, leaving bad guys with access to millions of Social Security numbers. That probably made you sit up and take notice…and get queasy.
THE UNPRECEDENTED BREACH OF SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS AND MORE
At the outset, I should note that contrary to popular perception — the Social Security Administration was not hacked. The federal government wasn’t breached.
Who Got Hacked and When?
A Florida-based data brokerage company, National Public Data (NPD), got hacked. You may wonder how NPD got so much personal data in the first place. It, like many companies of its kind, scrapes data from wherever they can, including federal and state public records databases like voter registries, DMV records, professional license filings, birth/marriage/death records, criminal and civil course records, and non-public databases.
So, private information, by way of how the modern world works, gets stored somewhere over which we have no control, and then scraped, gobbled up by companies like NPD. They then turn around and sell our private data to anyone willing to pay — from employee background-check sites to private investigators (not cool, Sam Spade!) to data resellers.
According to NPD, the crime took place in December 2023; it just took a while to become known (and then a lot longer for NPD to own up to it). It’s not clear who actually stole the data.
What is clear is that the breach became known in on April 7, 2024, when a hacker group identified as USDoD posted on the dark web, offering an estimated 2.9 billion individual rows of data records for $3,5000,000. Jeez Louise!
At this point, various “bad actors” (by which I don’t mean David Hasselhoff or Pauly Shore) began posting on the dark web and leaking about the availability of the purloined data.
The breach was reported by the Daily Dark Web in a piece entitled NationalPublicData.com Hack Exposes a Nation’s Data:
The leaked data, which spans from the years 2019 to 2024, is of unprecedented magnitude, comprising 2.9 billion rows. The sheer volume of information involved is monumental, with the compressed data reaching 200GB to a staggering 4TB when uncompressed. The breached database includes comprehensive citizen information, firstname, lastname, middlename, name_suff, address,city, county name, phone 1,aka1 fullname, ssn and more. Such a massive breach raises serious concerns regarding data privacy, security, and the potential for widespread misuse or exploitation.
However, Daily Dark Web also noted that there was “a strong possibility that the assertion may be exaggerated and that the data could have been scraped from publicly available sources. Additional scrutiny and analysis are required to validate or refute these allegations.”
You’d expect that the mainstream media might attack this story like a dog with a bone, but few outlets took any notice. Instead, they focused on all the usual wars, natural disasters, sports, bird flu, Taylor Swift, and Congress trying to shut down TikTok.
Then, on July 21, 2024, someone leaked exactly what was stolen. Members of the cybercrime community Breachforums released in excess of 4 terabytes of data they claimed had been stolen (though not by them) from NPD.
Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com
What Did the Hackers Get?
The breach contained massive database holdings at the nationalpublicdata.com domain, stealing Social Security records, phone numbers, physical address histories, and some email addresses of many millions of Americans. Information datasets from Canada and the United Kingdom were also included.
Per Troy Hunt, a regional director of Microsoft and founder of Have I Been Pwned (a site that helps people determine whether their email address has been included in data breaches), there were also 70 million rows from a database of U.S. criminal records.
Techcrunch referred to the data stolen as “partly legitimate — if imperfect.”
Brian Krebs of Krebs on Security further wrote that Atlas Data Privacy Corp. researchers found that there were 272 million unique Social Security Numbers in the entire records set, and that most of the records had a name, Social Security Number, and home address; approximately 26% of those records also included a phone number.
Apparently Atlas verified a subset of 5,000 addresses and phone numbers, and found that those records were, with “very few exceptions” for people born before January 1, 2002. So, maybe your college student is safe. But the rest of us? Oy.
Atlas also found that the average age of consumers in the records was 70 — with approximately two million records related to people who would be at least 120 years old at this point, so at least some of have already shuffled off this mortal coil, taking their credit lines with them.
This still leaves a lot of questions. Which data got out? Was it accurate or out of date? Which data was for deceased persons and which for real, live peeps? And what good data is paired with bad data?
If you’re feeling cyberwonky, read Troy Hunt’s Inside the “3 Billion People” National Public Data Breach. Hunt states that, “[t]here were no email addresses in the Social Security number files.” So, figuring out how bad it all is may take a while, because it’s hard to know what info is current and properly matched to your public identity.
Where Do Things Stand Now?
Mainstream media finally took notice on August 1, 2024, when California resident Christopher Hoffman filed a class action suit. Even then, NPD didn’t respond publicly until Friday, August 16, 2024, more than two weeks later, four months after the breach was originally reported, and more than eight months after the initial crime occurred!
And when NPD finally did post a milquetoast-y comment, it merely said that the breach involved a “third-party bad actor that was trying to hack into data in late December 2023, with potential leaks of certain data in April 2024 and summer 2024.” Well, duh.
That’s not even all! According to two Bleeping Computer pieces, National Public Data Confirms Breach Exposing Social Security Numbers, and Hackers Leak 2.7 Billion Data Records with Social Security Numbers, on August 6, 2024, “another threat actor known as Fenice shared for free the most comprehensive variant of the database with 2.7 billion records, with multiple records referring to a single person” and further, the “threat actor known as “Fenice” leaked the most complete version of the stolen National Public Data data for free on the Breached hacking forum.”
Meanwhile, in finger-pointing worthy of the Spider-Man memes, this Fenice claimed that the data breach was actually conducted by a different threat actor named “SXUL” rather than USDoD. (What, nobody’s named Mike anymore?)
(I created this from a meme generator. Apologies for offended artistic tastes.)
So, our data was stolen, priced for sale for $3.5 million, and then offered up for free to hackers, but nobody told us regular folk until the lawyers wanted attention for a class action suit?
If you feel like you need an aspirin, you’re not alone. Nothing about this feels particularly organized. Or fair.
This class action suit is a big deal, because, as the plaintiff’s law firm explained in a press release, Hoffman was not a customer of NPD. None of us were.
Thus, unlike when we get those letters from our doctor’s office or credit card companies, we never voluntarily gave our personal information to NPD in the first place, so most Americans (and Canadians, and citizens of the UK) won’t even know if they’ve been affected by the breach until or unless something along a continuum from hinky to financially catastrophic happens.
As a result, it’s essential to take action and organize your resources against potential fallout.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR INFORMATION WAS HACKED
The cybersecurity firm Pentester accessed the files included in the breach and created a free database/breach check of the stolen information — but with Social Security numbers redacted, birthdates partially redacted, and phone numbers and street addresses in the clear.
I know it doesn’t look very impressive, but experts and journalists, including at Time Magazine, have recommended using it.
Enter your first name, last name, state, and birth year. It will search billions of leaked records and note whether your information was included in the breach.
If your data isn’t found, you’ll get an error message instead of a list of records. Yay! Except that’s the starting point, not the finish line. Boo!
- Check every state you’ve lived in. Ever.
- Check your maiden name, or any other name by which you’ve been known, legally or otherwise.
- Check for your significant other, your parents, your kids, and pretty much everyone you care about. (I mean, you could also search for your horrible boss, the kid who stuffed you in a locker in seventh grade, and your ex-mother-in-law, just to enjoy a little schadenfreude. I won’t tell.)
However, will only tell you is whether your information is out there, somewhere, naked. Your next step is protect that data from molestation as best you can.
PROTECT YOURSELF AGAINST YOUR DATA BEING USED AGAINST YOU
Monitor your financial life
You should already be regularly checking your bank accounts and credit card statements for anomalies. Either log in to one at a time or use a financial dashboard like Empower, Rocket Money, or one of the other popular alternatives to the late, lamented Mint.
Next, monitor your credit reports.
Longtime Paper Doll readers know that I always advise using AnnualCreditReport.com, which, by law, guarantees a free credit report from each of the three credit reporting bureaus per year. Better yet, after the onset of the COVID pandemic and the related financial chaos that ensued, Equifax, Experian, and Trans-Union temporarily offered free weekly credit reports.
The bureaus extended those offers twice over the years, and as of last October, the Federal Trade Commission reported that AnnualCreditReport.com will now permanently make available weekly credit reports at no charge so that consumers can dispute errors, be watchful for any fraudulent account openings or changes, and report identity crimes at IdentityTheft.gov.
While you’re pulling your own credit report, pull them for your children, too. Even the existence of a credit report for a child who has never applied for credit is a big, honking sign that something fraudulent may have occurred.
Place a fraud alert on your credit file
This requires that any creditors contact you before making changes to any of the accounts you already have or before opening any new accounts in your name. You needn’t contact all three credit bureaus; rather, once you request a fraud alert with one bureau (say Equifax), the other two (Experian and Trans-Union) will be notified.
Per a law passed in 2018, fraud alerts stay in place for a full year (unless you rescind it earlier), and victims of identity theft and related crimes can secure an extended fraud alert for seven years. Previously, fraud alerts lasted only 90 days.
Also, the law requires that each of the credit reporting bureau must automatically send you a free credit report after you request a fraud alert. Scrutinize them carefully.
To request a fraud alert, contact one of the three credit bureaus’ fraud alert divisions:
- Equifax — or call 1-800-525-6285
- Experian — or call 1-888-397-3742
- TransUnion — or call 1-800-680-7289 (Note: an extended TransUnion fraud alert must be requested by mail.)
But before you choose this path, there’s a better option.
Freeze your credit file
A credit freeze is different from a fraud alert. While the fraud alert says that creditors have to contact you before changing or opening accounts, a freeze says, “Nope. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.” A freeze prevents any new loans or credit from being taken out in your name — even by you!
A credit freeze is different from a fraud alert. A fraud alert requires creditors contact you before changing/opening accounts; a freeze says, *Nope. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.* A freeze prevents any new loans/credit from… Share on XThe freeze stays in place until or unless you revoke it. So, if you need to buy a new car, seek a student loan or mortgage, or apply for a credit card, you can temporarily remove the freeze. After you secure funding, you can put the freeze back on.
Ice Photo by Enrique Zafra at Pexels.com
- Contact each of the three credit bureaus.
Unlike with the fraud alert, where you only have to contact one of the credit bureaus, you’ll need to contact all three at the following freeze division links or numbers:
-
- Equifax — or call 888-397-3742
- Experian — or call 866-478-0027
- TransUnion — or call 800-916-8800
You must create an account with login credentials before you can proceed to request a freeze.
- Keep your PINs in a safe place.
When you place a freeze on your credit, you’ll get PIN. You’ll need those PINs to defrost — I mean, unfreeze — your credit later. (Note: I helped a less tech-savvy client in her 80s accomplish this on Friday, and we learned that TransUnion no longer requires a PIN; your TransUnion login will suffice.)
Where you safeguard your PIN depends on the standard methods that you already use; you don’t want to be dependent upon your memory of an out-of-character decision.
- Write PINs down and put them in your fireproof safe or safety deposit box.
- Enter PINs in your digital password manager.
- Put PINs in your secure password book in code.
Do NOT put them on a sticky note affixed to the front of your computer. Do NOT write them in a little notebook that you take out of your home.
- Protect the credit files of your loved ones and those in your care
That 2018 law guarantees that you can freeze (and unfreeze) your own credit for free. (This is different from a credit lock, which requires a subscription to a credit bureaus’ services.) In addition to setting a freeze for yourself, you can obtain a credit freeze for your children under the age of 16. (Minors aged 16 or 17 may request their own freezes.)
Photo by Julia M Cameron on Pexels.com
Because minors can’t apply for loans, people rarely check children’s credit history. In theory, there shouldn’t even be a credit bureau file for a child, so when young adults start out trying to get student loans or credit cards, they may be in for a shock to learn that someone has already destroyed their credit!
For more on preventing children from being the victims of identity theft, check out:
https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/how-protect-your-child-identity-theft
Additionally, if you serve as a conservator or guardian, or if you hold someone’s Power of Attorney, you may secure a free credit freeze for them, as well.
Why else should you get a credit freeze?
Any time you are at greater risk of identity theft, whether through a massive data breach, a run-in with a bad roommate, a breakup with a creep, or you’ve had your wallet stolen or your home burgled, a credit freeze can give you peace of mind that nobody will be able to access credit in your name.
Similarly, if elderly relatives develop dementia or anything that impairs their cognitive capacity, they can become prey to predatory lenders and charlatans selling everything from scammy auto repair warranties to non-existent services. A credit freeze prevents scams from moving past the spam stage.
Military Fraud Alerts
Members of all United States military branches have an additional resource that predates the 2018 law. They can set active duty alerts, allowing them to place a fraud alert for one year, renewable for the entirety of their deployment.
For Equifax, use the online form for an Active Duty Alert or call 800-525-6285. Meanwhile Experian has an online form but no phone number, and TransUnion has a phone number (800-680-7289) but no online form.
As a bonus, securing an active duty alert prompts the credit reporting agencies to remove a service member from the marketing lists for sneaky pre-screened credit card offers. (Service members can request to be added back, but who wants that junk mail?)
DON’T GET SCAMMED
Even partial information allows scammers to contact you, pretending they’re preventing scams. A caller might fake being from your bank or credit card, alerting you to a hacking risk. They may request you log into one of your accounts and change passwords (to something they provide) for “testing” purposes that might sound reasonable if you’ve been interrupted while chasing a toddler or running a meeting.
Photo by mohamed_hassan from PxHere
Be vigilant. If contacted by phone, text, or email, don’t respond, even (or especially) if the contact appears to already have some of your data. They’re using what they DO have to get you to reveal what they DON’T have — more of your private information. Call your financial institution directly.
The Social Security Administration won’t call you. They won’t email. They won’t text you. (Government sites may email or text two-factor authentication codes when you log into a federal site, like ssa.gov, but that’s initiated by you.)
My March post, Slam the Scam! Organize to Protect Against Scams, focused mainly on scams targeting seniors, but will help you protect yourself and loved ones from most common scams, and provides resources to help you learn more.
The Hill‘s August 15, 2024 piece, Was your data leaked in massive breach?: How to Know, and What to Do Now, has a good point about the likelihood of being at risk:
“If you’re a high-value individual that maybe has a high net worth or works at a company that they can extort you, you might actually be a real target,” Kyle Hanslovan, CEO of cybersecurity firm Huntress, previously told Nexstar. “For the masses though, the everyday common person, you’re more of a target of opportunity.”
Most people shouldn’t spend too much time worrying about what may happen if their information ends up in the wrong hands. Instead, Hanslovan recommends keeping an eye on your important accounts and making sure you’re prepared to act in case something does go wrong.
“It stinks for privacy, but it kind of normalizes just what’s happening,” Hanslovan said. “It doesn’t make it right, and it definitely doesn’t wave, you know, a company’s true fiduciary responsibilities to protect your data.”
Someone should tell NPD that.
Other Ways to Keep Bad Guys From Using Your Data to Hack You
- Make your passwords long and complex. Using at least 16 characters, with a mix of capitals, lowercase, numbers, and special symbols, will make it hard to hack you.
Image Source @2024 Hive Systems
- Use a password manager for all your longer, more complex passwords.
- Turn on two-factor or multifactor authentication for as many of your online accounts as allow it. (That’s like when you get a text or email with a code to enter before your login is authenticated.) Alternatively, you can use an authenticator app.
- Set up account alerts for your bank, investment, and credit card accounts, particularly to flag online or in-person purchases or ATM transactions outside of the US.
- Keep security software updated on your computer and phone.
- Don’t check financial accounts on insecure Wi-Fi networks; wait until you’re home, on secured WI-Fi network.
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR DATA IS USED FRAUDULENTLY
- File a police report.
- Report fraud to the Federal Trade Commission.
- If someone uses your Social Security number, report it at IdentityTheft.gov.
ONE LAST WEIRD THING
You may have noticed something odd about the class action suit. You’d expect National Public Data’s parent company to have a tech-leaning name, like InfoDynamics or Identidata.
Nope. The parent company is Jerico Pictures Inc., a Florida-based film studio owned by Salvatore (Sal) Verini, Jr., a retired deputy with the Broward County Sheriff’s office who fashions himself as an actor, producer, and writer.
Verini is also listed as the owner of companies called Trinity Entertainment Inc., National Criminal Data LLC, Shadowglade LLC (which sounds like a housing development in a horror movie produced by a company with a name like Jerico Pictures), and Twisted History LLC, which sounds like a joke.
Meanwhile, victims of data hacking won’t be doing a lot of laughing.
REFERENCES
As a Certified Professional Organizer®, I often help clients protect their identities and financial information. However, I am not a cybercrime specialist, nor do I play one on television. To research the specifics of this breach, in addition to the many government and tech-oriented links in the above post, I used a clarifying mainstream sources, including:
- 7 On Your Side steps to take to keep personal information safe amid latest data breach (WABC-TV)
- Hackers May Have Stolen Your Social Security Number in a Massive Breach. Here’s What to Know. (CBS News MoneyWatch)
- How to Check if Your Information Was Compromised in the Social Security Number Breach (Time Magazine)
- It’s Free to Freeze Your Credit: Here’s What You’ll Need to Do (HerMoney.com)
- The Weirdest ‘3 Billion People’ Data Breach Ever (The Verge)
- What to Know about Credit Card Freezes and Fraud Alerts (FTC.gov)
Keep your eyes open and your personal information close to the vest.
Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grownup Life: Part 3
Parents, you’re counting down the precious days left with your college-bound students. Meanwhile, they’re counting down until they experience “freedom” and (gulp) adult responsibilities. In recent posts, we’ve covered a wide variety of skills and information to ensure they are prepared for the world beyond having you as a backup ride, bank, chief cook, and bottle-washer.
Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grown-Up Life: Part 1 identified essential legal documents and insurance policies, and reviewed the key financial skills every first-year student needs.
Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grownup Life: Part 2 looked at communication skills, staying safe on campus and off, and the under-appreciated life lessons of mastering laundry.
This third installment of the college life skill syllabus delves into keeping all the time management balls in the air, developing an academic safety net, being a safe car operator, and social etiquette to ensure good relationships. There’s even a smattering of bonus life skills.
We finish up with with a bibliography of reading resources for you and for your college-bound student.
HOW TO MASTER TIME AT COLLEGE
In high school, time is fairly regimented; the bell rings every fifty minutes, moving students on to their next classes. There’s study hall to get a start on homework, and teachers provide periodic, staged deadlines for students to show their progress and keep from falling behind; they turn in a topic idea, then a bibliography, outline, first draft, and finally a completed report. Class periods before tests are earmarked for reviews. Academic prep time is spoon-fed.
In college, the freedom to set your own schedule has the drawback of requiring an adult sense of perspective on prioritizing what’s important (and not just urgent or fun). Wide swaths of free time must be divvied up and self-assigned: for studying new material, doing problem sets, completing projects, and preparing for exams.
Food and clean clothes are not delivered by magic fairies; they may require transportation, funds, labor, and time!
College-bound kids may not want to take advice regarding time management, but try to start conversations to get them thinking about how to:
- Wake up on time — If they can’t count on conscientiousness, encourage them to make breakfast plans with a friend who can swing by prod them. Also, point them toward Do (Not) Be Alarmed: Paper Doll’s Wake-Up Advice for Productivity.
- Develop a schedule — In order to make time for academics, extracurriculars, sleep, exercise, and self-care, discuss the value of time-blocking and planning an ideal week, then tweaking as the semester goes along. Keeping a schedule in one’s head is a recipe for disaster; a paper or digital planner makes sure nothing falls through the cracks. A few helpful guides:
- Highlights from the 2023 Task Management & Time Blocking Summit
- Surprising Productivity Advice & the 2023 Task Management & Time Blocking Summit
- Paper Doll Shares Secrets from the Task Management & Time Blocking Summit 2022
- Struggling To Get Things Done? Paper Doll’s Advice & The Task Management & Time Blocking Virtual Summit 2022
- Playing With Blocks: Success Strategies for Time Blocking Productivity
- Develop and maintain healthy routines to support their goals — Brainstorm ideas for how to ensure healthy habits (exercise, eating actual meals somewhere near meal times, etc.) by linking activities to make a chain of positive behaviors.
- Don’t fight your body clock — In business, we’re often made to feel like there’s something wrong with us if we’re not morning people, but in college, people look askance if you don’t want to party all night. There’s no shame in needing an early night if you have an 8 a.m. class.
- Get out in front of procrastination — We procrastinate because we’re nervous about how something will turn out. We’d prefer our Present Self feeling comfortable; Future Self is on its own.
Explain how to beat procrastination by understanding its causes and then incorporating good planning, prioritizing, and decision-making techniques (like the Eisenhower Decision Matrix), and locating accountability support. These Paper Doll posts can help:
-
- Paper Doll On Understanding and Conquering Procrastination
- Use the Rule of 3 to Improve Your Productivity
- Frogs, Tomatoes, and Bees: Time Techniques to Get Things Done
- Count on Accountability: 5 Productivity Support Solutions
- Paper Doll Sees Double: Body Doubling for Productivity
- Flow and Faux (Accountability): Productivity, Focus, and Alex Trebek
- Paper Doll Shares 8 Virtual Co-Working Sites to Amp Up Your Productivity
They can even try some Study with Rory Gilmore videos, including this one that incorporates the Pomodoro Technique!
I can’t think of a better expert for your college (and college-bound high school) students, especially those with ADHD, than my fabulous colleague Leslie Josel. She’s the one who developed an amazing Academic Planner for middle-grade and high school students, and I interviewed her for Paper Doll Peeks Behind the Curtain with Superstar Coach, Author & Speaker Leslie Josel.
Order Leslie’s book, How to Do It Now Because It’s Not Going Away: An Expert Guide to Getting Stuff Done, before the semester gets too far, and you’ll help your first-year college student conquer procrastination, develop excellent study skills, and really dissipate their stress.
Other real-world manners and etiquette tips college-bound students might not have absorbed:
Dining
- Know which is your bread and which is your drink — Make the OK sign with both hands on the table in front of you. One makes a lowercase “b” (on your left) and “d” (on your right). The “b” for bread means your bread plate goes to your upper left; the “d” for drink means the glass to your upper right is yours. Don’t butter an entire slice of bread or roll and then eat it (except at your own breakfast table). Break off a bite-sized piece of bread, apply butter (or jam, etc.) and eat.
- Wait until everyone has been served (or seated with their dining tray) to eat. Don’t gobble your food. You are not Cookie Monster.
- Don’t rush to leave before your companions are done eating. (If you need to leave to get to class, apologize for not staying until the other person is finished.)
- Know when and how much to tip in restaurants, for pizza delivery, etc.
Social Interactions
- Introductions — Know how to properly introduce yourself and others in a social setting, with first and last names.
- Handshake — Offer a firm (not limp, not crushing) handshake, smile, and make eye contact. (If eye contact makes you uncomfortable, remember, it’s not a staring contest. Connect, then look anywhere in the general vicinity of the other person’s face.)
- Personal space — Respecting others’ personal space in social and professional settings requires situational and cultural awareness and understanding the nuances of physical boundaries. Don’t touch people without asking.
- Phones — Don’t look at your phone when you’re eating or socializing with others unless responding to something urgent. Put phones away at the meal table.
- Thank You Notes — A good thank you note, sent promptly, goes a long way to show appreciation after receiving a gift, being hosted, getting interviewed, or being the beneficiary of an act of kindness.
- RSVP — Explain that not replying to an RSVP inconveniences a host. Replying in a timely manner and committing to that response helps the host plan (financially and logistically).
- Online social interactions — A digital footprint lasts forever, and online behavior matters. Being a jerk online has the potential to ruin a reputation just as much as being a jerk at a party.
- Networking — Your college kid isn’t thinking about the business world, but people help and do business with those they know, like, and trust. Help them see the importance of strengthening connections by sharing personal stories where maintaining connections, being generally useful, and even sending a LinkedIn connection request with a personalized message can mean a lot down the road.
Cultural Sensitivity
Good cross-cultural etiquette means not judging people who don’t follow the above guidelines.
Respect diversity. Understand cultural differences in manners, and be open to learning and adapting when doing study abroad or interacting in other cultural settings.
Use language that’s respectful, inclusive, and kind.
CARE FOR THE CAMPUS CAR
@the_leighton_show The low fuel warning also doesn’t stop my wife from going to @target #teenagers #drivinglessons #driving #parentsoftiktok #funny
Even if your student has been on the road for a few years, being a car owner (or responsible party) is different from driving Mom’s car to school. Car care can be a mystifying area of adulthood.
Oversee that inspections and major maintenance gets done when your student is home for breaks, and jointly go through the recommended auto maintenance schedule in the car’s manual. Help them figure out how to either do basic car care or to get it done professionally.
Teach the basics, like how to:
- Fill the gas tank before it’s only 1/4 full (and not when the gas light comes on). This is especially important if they attend school in wintery locales.
- Fill the tank on a schedule, not when it’s empty, but perhaps every Saturday after lunch. (And don’t try to put diesel in a non-diesel vehicle!)
- Download an app for finding the best gas prices, like Gas Buddy.
- Know how to check the oil before the oil light comes on. Oil and filter changes don’t have to be done as frequently as they used to, due to synthetic oil, but it still must be done.
- Know how to check tire pressure and fill tires properly.
- Know what the dashboard lights mean. — I once heard someone call the tire pressure alert the “Surprise Light.”
- Understand how to check and change fuses, replace windshield wipers, and know when to seek a professional mechanic.
Prepare them for emergencies. They should:
- Know how to jump start a car — If you’re sending your kids off to college with jumper cables, teach them how to use them! Consider also writing out step-by-step instructions and tucking it in with the cables.
- Know how to change a flat tire — Not everyone has the physical strength to change a tire, and not all locations are safe. Spring for a membership in AAA or similar roadside emergency service.
- Know what to do in case of an accident, or if someone breaks their window or steals the car:
DON’T GET SCAMMED AT COLLEGE
According to a study by the Better Business Bureau, 18-24 year-olds are more often victims of scams than senior citizens! Teaching college students to recognize and avoid scams is crucial. Encourage a skeptical mindset.
Common Scams Targeting College Students
Just as I wrote about scams that target seniors in Slam the Scam! Organize to Protect Against Scams, there are many that target college students, including:
- Scholarship and grant scams — Legitimate scholarships don’t ask for fees.
- Student loan scams — Be wary of companies that promise to forgive or lower student loans for a fee. Confirm loan information through the school’s financial aid office or consult government (.gov) websites like Federal Student Aid.
- Housing scams — When seeking off-campus housing, avoid listings requiring upfront payments before touring properties. Use reputable rental sites; don’t send money via wire transfer.
- Job scams — Know that legitimate employers don’t ask for bank information until you’ve been officially hired. Be wary of job offers promising high pay for minimal work.
Watch for Red Flags
- Urgency and high pressure tactics — The world is full of deadlines, but scammers use fear of missing out to create a sense of urgency. Don’t become a victim by being pressured to act quickly without time to analyze what’s happening.
- Unsolicited Offers — Be dubious about any unsolicited contact from outside of the school’s usual resources, whether by email, phone, or (especially) text, whether seeking personal information or offering services, funds, or assistance.
- Unusual Payment Methods — Students need to understand that payment by check or credit card is normal, but requests for payment by gift card, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency are hallmarks of scams. Legitimate transactions use secure, traceable payment methods.
- If a financial loan, grant, paid internship, or side hustle seems “too good to be true,” especially if the college’s financial aid office or academic departments doesn’t know anything about it, it’s likely a scam.
Always do independent research and verification. Check websites, Google to make sure phone numbers and addresses aren’t fake, and seek unbiased reviews. Consult trusted sources, including professors and advisors, college financial aid and work/study divisions, and yes, parents.
Online Safety
GenZ will be dubious that parents can advise them on online safety, but talk about:
- Privacy Settings — Adjust social media privacy to limit personal information visible to the public.
- Phishing Scams — Be wary about emails, texts, or social media direct messages that appear to be from trusted individuals or institutions but ask for personal information or money, or contain suspicious links. Pick up the phone and verify by calling people or institutions directly.
- Secure Websites — Look for “https://” in the URL and the padlock icon in the URL bar before entering personal or financial information!
Report Scams
- Report scams to campus security, local police, and organizations like the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) fraud division, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, and the U.S. Department of EducationOffice of Inspector General (OIG).
- Document — Keep records of all suspicious communications and transactions to support resolving issues.
RANDOM LIFE SKILLS
The Adulting Manual by Milly Smith
Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grownup Life: Part 2
From living with strangers to not having parents and teachers overseeing study habits and self-care, college is a melange of delightful freedom and terrifying responsibility.
Last week, in Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grown-Up Life: Part 1, we reviewed the serious side of what to make sure your kids have and know before heading off to college. We covered making sure they know their Social Security number by heart, having a a handle on important contacts and key medical information, and getting registered to vote and knowing how to exercise their rights to vote.
We looked at legal documents, like Power of Attorney for Healthcare (AKA: healthcare proxy) documents, FERPA waivers, and HIPAA releases, which in combination ensure that a college student has someone they trust looped into their medical situations and able to make medical decisions if they are unable to.
We also started developing punch lists of adulting information and skills, starting with the essentials related to financials and insurance.
And, because people pay more attention to serious things when they can take a moment to breathe, I included a few Chip Leighton “texts from college students” videos from The Leighton Show. More are peppered in this post. (As with last week, click near the lower left portion of the video to un-mute.)
@the_leighton_show Posting one more for all the parents dropping kids off at college #teenagers #college #freshmanyear #text #funny ♬ original sound – The Leighton Show
HOW TO COMMUNICATE BEYOND TEXTS AND EMOJIS
Recently, I was surprised to find that most younger people don’t ring doorbells or knock; they text when they pull up outside. (Honestly, to keep from waking babies or making dogs go nuts, this is pretty smart!)
Gen Z students have often managed to get through life without learning some adulting skills with regard to communication and interaction. Before dropping them off on campus, make sure your kids have these skills.
- How to write, address, and mail a letter. Somewhere around fourth grade, they taught us how to write a “friendly” letter and a business letter, including the entire format of date, “inside address,” salutation, body, and appropriate closing. They also taught us how to address an envelope, where to put the return address, and where to place the stamp. Apparently, this is not taught anymore, as evidence by various Reddit threads, including the one below.
- How to sign their name in cursive. Some elementary schools stopped teaching cursive in 2010, though there now seems to be a backlash against the removal. Whether or not your student knows how to write (even remotely legibly) in cursive, make sure they understand how to sign their legal name.
- How to write a grown-up, professional email. Use a clear subject line that indicates the purpose of the message. Write in full, grammatically-correct sentences. Spell check. Don’t use emoji or slang. (Seriously, no cap.) Except in a rare case when asked to do so, don’t address female professors as “Mrs.” That’s a social honorific, and this isn’t kindergarten. They’re either Professor or Doctor or (if TAs or adjuncts) Ms. (unless they ask you to use their first name). Don’t address professors of any gender as “Bro” or “Dude.” (This goes for verbal communication, too!)
- How to schedule an appointment (and how to reschedule or cancel one) — Your kid knows how to log into a web site and pick a time slot, but Gen Z is particularly phone-averse. Role play with them how to make a call to request an appointment with a doctor or dentist, to get their hair cut, to have their car evaluated or repaired, etc. Teach them how to summarize why they’re calling (whether to a gatekeeper or for voicemail).
- How to leave voicemail — Guide them not to say, “Um, so this is Joe. I need you to call me back” without any hint of why. Young people are often nervous about calling strangers, so they should plan the message, mentally or even in writing. Encourage them to think about why they’re calling — and what result (information? permission? assistance?) they need.
This is good advice for grownups, too, especially those suffer from social anxiety. Practice eases the process. State your name, phone number, and reason for calling so the recipient can do their legwork and get back to you at their convenience without wasting their time (or yours on a cycle of call tag).
- How to write a thank you note — In case it’s been a while since you impressed upon your child the importance (and power) of this habit, share a classic Paper Doll post, Gratitude, Mr. Rogers, and How To Organize a Thank You Note and remind them, once again, that grandparents are more likely to send gifts (money? Apple gift cards? freshly baked cookies?) when thanked for their actions.
- How to apologize authentically and effectively — Whether your student eats her roommate’s last yogurt or commits a more unpardonable act, don’t let kids go off to college without this essential life skill. Make sure they understand that “I’m sorry you got mad” is not an apology.
There’s an easy formula:
-
- Use the words, “I’m sorry” or “I apologize.”
- Take responsibility and state what you actually did wrong.
- Illustrate that you understood the impact of your actions on the other individual.
- Explain how you’ll ensure it won’t happen again, or show how you’ll make reparations.
STAY SAFE, ON CAMPUS AND OFF
There will likely be a safety workshop during orientation week. Encourage your student to attend and to understand what kind of built-in infrastructure the campus has for safety.
Be Safe When Walking Around
When I attended college, we had a Blue Light service, poles throughout campus with blue lights at the top and telephones connected to Campus Safety. You could make a direct call (without a coin) or just hit the handsets as you ran from a horror movie monster (let’s ignore the more serious alternative) and campus safety peer volunteers and personnel would come out in force. There were also free “blue light buses” on campus to ferry people home safely at night. I was delighted to find out that this system is still in place, with some modern tech additions.
Nowadays, most campuses have high-end safety systems and apps. Still, encourage students to program the campus security number into their phones and know how to request an official campus peer escort. Other advice to impart:
- Don’t walk alone, especially at night. Take heavily-trafficked routes with good lighting.
- Let your roommate or BFF know where you are headed, and program your phone to share your real-time location (one time or ongoing) and ETA:
- You’re probably not going to convince your college kid to never ride with strangers, but you can fund an Uber or Lyft account to make it easier to get home if they’ve gone to a concert or club off campus. You may also want to discuss GrownandFlown.com’s The 7 Ride Share Safety Tips Every Teen Needs to Know.
Be Safe in Your Dorm and When Out and About
- Lock your room when not in it (so you don’t walk in to any surprises), or when you are, but lots of others aren’t around.
- Close and lock your windows when you are sleeping or not in your dorm, especially if you’re on the ground floor.
- Program campus housing numbers into phones.You might be locked out of the dorm without keys or key cards or wallet, but nobody goes anywhere without their phones anymore.
Hopefully, you’ve had lots of conversations with your teen about how to have situational awareness when walking around (or studying, especially alone), how to be safe at parties, and how to figure out whom to trust. These kinds of skills can take many years to develop, but open conversations are the beginning.
This is an organizing blog, not a parenting blog, but I fervently hope that just as many parents will teach their sons the importance of not victimizing as they teach their daughters how not to be victims.
For more in-depth advice, You may also want to share:
- How to Stay Safe on a College Campus (US News & World Report)
- 9 Ways to Stay Safe on Your College Campus (Safewise)
- 10 Campus Safety Strategies for College Students (RAINN)
- Campus Safety Guide (Best Colleges)
Be Safe During Emergencies
Personal safety doesn’t just include watching out for bad guys. Your kids had fire drills in school, but they’re used to following an grownups instructions. Now that they’re the grownups, make sure they know:
- How and when to call 911 vs. the police non-emergency line vs. the campus health center vs. the resident hall director).
- When to go to the ER vs. urgent care, or the health center, or a family doctor (or to call the health insurance Ask-A-Nurse line…or Dr. Mom)
- How to use a fire extinguisher. When I visited my old campus for my reunion in June, I saw that fire extinguishers had changed; they were neither the massively heavy ones I recalled from my youth nor the can-of-whipped-cream style I have at home. Have them read the instructions.
- Pay attention to the exits when entering classroom or building, and know the safe exit path for the dorm.
While it’s designed primarily for families, your student might find Paper Doll Organizes You To Prepare for an Emergency to be a useful starting point.
Be Safe When Interacting with the Police
If you or anyone in your family or close circle is Black (or you’ve ever watched a Shonda Rhimes show), you almost certainly know about The Talk and have had it, and multiple iterations of it, before sending a child to college.
However, if you are not a member of a visible minority, your have probably been privileged to not have to think about this. Role-model and practice so your college-bound student knows what to do if they are stopped while driving, riding, or walking — or if the police come to their dorms to make inquiries — or if they participate in a campus protest.
If you watch police procedurals, you’re probably familiar with the concept of swatting, the practice of making a prank call to emergency services in order to get armed police officers dispatched to someone’s address. It happens to congressional representatives and judges, but it also happens to random people, including college students. It apparently started with online gamers being targeted by others playing the game.
Almost nobody gets through life without interacting with police officers, and whether it’s municipal police or campus security, student needs a skill set for handling potentially scary interactions.
Again, this post is about organizing adulting skill sets. Beyond, “stay calm and don’t escalate,” I won’t advise you regarding what you should tell your children, but encourage you to talk to them about how to do it safely and with some starting points:
- ACLU’s Know Your Rights: Stopped By Police (ACLU)
- Dealing With Campus Police: Top 3 Legal FAQs For College Students (FindLaw)
- Black Parents Describe “The Talk” They Give to Their Children About Police (Vox)
HOW TO STAY HEALTHY AT COLLEGE
Nobody gets to college without having had a booboo or a cold or a stomach bug, but a lot of parents find that their newly independent children experience a sense of amnesia once any of these things happen at college. Use the following as prompts to make sure your kids are ready for dealing with the owies of adult life.
Be Prepared for Medical Ickiness
Everyone eventually gets the crud, and being away from home makes it worse. However, knowing how to handle the experience makes having the yuckies marginally better. Make sure students know:
- How to treat a sore throat, toothache, upset stomach (and related intestinal distresses) and minor viruses.
- How to recognize symptoms (like a high fever) requiring professional medical intervention.
- How the dosage on OTC and prescription medicine works. There’s a reason why it says “take no more than X in 24 hours” — because people thought X “in one day” meant they could have X at 11:45 p.m. and again at 12:15 a.m. Medication doesn’t follow a calendar.
- How to fill and refill a prescription — If you’ve always done it for them, your student may not know about prescription numbers or number of refills available.
- How to take maintenance medication or perform health activities without you having to remind them — You won’t be able to ask, “Did you take your ADHD meds today?” or “How many times did you check your blood glucose today?” Your student knows how to set an alarm on the phone, but walking them through how to label the alarms to make it clear which meds are for that specific alarm could help. Even “experienced” adults with established schedules forget to take meds when on vacation; college schedules are stress-inducing and can lead to forgetting, so help them help themselves.
- Where the nearest 24-hour pharmacy is, before they need it — At some point, your student will need Pepto or condoms or feminine sanitary products or a COVID test at 3 a.m. Being prepared is half the battle.
- How to do First Aid — Not everybody was a scout. I’m often shocked by people (OK, men. It’s always men) who don’t know how to properly clean a small wound, remove a splinter, or put on a bandage. You can’t anticipate everything — minor and major — need to know, so share the National Safety Council’s First Aid Video Library link. It’s impressive.
- How to fill out health insurance forms at the doctor’s office. — Seriously, your kid should know their blood type without having to call and ask you. (That’s why I told you last week to give them copies of their medical history information.)
Booboo Bear Photo by Pixabay
How to Deal with College Life Ickiness
- How to safely drink/consume things you’d prefer they didn’t partake of at all.
- How to help a friend who has unwisely or unsafely imbibed or consumed something. This might range from treating hangovers to knowing how to use NARCAN to the calling 911!
- How basic hygiene works. Wash hands! — Feel like you shouldn’t have to explain this to an adult? Reread Organize Your Health: Parental Wisdom, Innovation, and the New Time Timer® Wash. Yes, it’s from the first year of COVID, but the unfathomable reminder that people forget to wash their hands is timeless.
- Wash water bottles. — We didn’t even have bottled water when I was in college. Now, Stanley cups (not the hockey kind) are everywhere. And no, just because there’s only water in it doesn’t mean it’s clean. Microbes are icky. (Secret cleaning trick? Denture tablets!)
How to Deal with Grown-Up Issues
I hope you and your student have the kind of relationship where you can discuss “adult” things without (too much) awkwardness. I was lucky that Paper Mommy always made a safe space to talk about difficult issues, but not everyone has that ability (or that parent).
You may have had that other version of “The Talk” with your student in adolescence, but whether you’re dealing with reproductive care or mental health or anything sensitive, at the very least encourage your college-bound student to talk. Say that you hope they’ll talk to you, but even if not, that there are many safe places (starting with the campus health center) to find accurate information and supportive care. Some of the issues they may need to contend with include:
- Safe sex
- How to use contraception properly
- How to say no, at any point in the process, and maintain healthy boundaries
- How to be secure consent and step back if there is no consent
- Mental health
- How to recognize the signs of depression or anxiety (or other mental health concerns) in themselves and their friends, including social isolation or an increase in risky behaviors, or changes in academic performance, mood, sleep or eating habits, or personal hygiene.
- Where to seek mental health help, on campus or virtually
- Self-care — Remind your beloved child of their options for caring for their mental health, including:
- taking breaks
- exercising
- getting out in nature
- talking to friends
- journaling
- calling home
- speaking with a therapist
- understanding that everyone has problems, they are manageable, and there is support available
For your purposes, peruse Empowering Wellness: Supporting Freshman Health and Well-Being from College Parents of America, and perhaps get your kid a copy of something like The Greatest College Health Guide You Never Knew You Needed: How to Manage Food, Booze, Stress, Sex, Sleep, and Exercise on Campus before they leave for campus.
Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grown-Up Life: Part 1
In a matter of weeks, fresh-faced first-year college students will be headed off to begin their adult lives.
Everyone needs a little organizational guidance on this path. Last week, I re-shared a popular post from the Paper Doll vault, Paper Doll & Real Simple Organize Dorm Rooms: SUPER-EXTENDED Edition, looking at how to organize a dorm room for maximum comfort and productivity.
There’s a lot of support out there for getting the right stuff to make college life easier. IKEA has created a stellar master list of what to take to college that likely exceeds whatever your student’s department of residence life has forwarded. If you care mainly about having the right electronic solutions, you can scroll through pieces like Back to School — 10 Cool Tech Gadgets for 2024.
Taking advantage of the “college lists,” reminiscent of the photocopied (and previously, mimeographed) lists of teacher’s required school supplies, can put most parents and students on a fairly level playing field. Well, at least in terms of the tangibles, like basic creature comforts necessary to sleep, study, and snack while paying at least a modicum of attention to personal hygiene and health while at college.
The stuff is one thing. However, not all 18-year-olds arrive at college with the same levels of maturity, knowledge, and awareness of the world. TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube sensation Chip Leighton of The Leighton Show hit it big the last past few years with his series of videos of funny texts from teenagers.
But Leighton really caught my eyes with the texts from college students. These texts, and the rush of comments from parents illustrating their own young people’s texts, help us realize that parents and guardians may need to do more than they realize to prepare offspring for independent life on the planet.
Some things are universal — students arrive at college not having a handle on how to do laundry or manage their finances. But the deeper I’ve gone into talking with clients with kids at college (and, yes, reading the hysterical — and embarrassing — stories from parents in Leighton’s comments sections), I’ve realized that there are ways in which kids are ill-prepared for college (and life beyond) in a ways that adults may not realize.
Today’s post and the rest of this series is a starter kit for the issues to discuss with your college-bound Gen-Zers before they risk endangering their lives, messing up their financial histories, or embarrassing themselves in front of age cohorts who have been better prepared for life “in the real world.”
ESSENTIAL INFORMATION AND PAPERWORK
Before we get into what your college students need to know, we should look at what documents they need to possess and understand.
Social Security Number
If you’re an American, your kid already has Social Security numbers. But do they actually know it?
This is the number you most need to memorize for the next six or more decades. Once at college, students will find they need to provide a student ID number and Social Security number on forms all the time. If they haven’t memorized it as a result of the college application process, now is the time to help them remember it.
You’ll have to discuss whether it makes sense for your student to take the actual card to school, or if it’s best kept safely in the family home until or unless they need it for official reasons. If they do take it to school, remind them that it shouldn’t live in their wallet or anywhere it could be lost or easily stolen.
Contact information for the important people in their lives
Yes, college-bound students mainly text people, but at some point, you might point out that if they send a real letter (or even a postcard) to Grandma, she might be inclined to send back money or a tin of cookies or some sort of care package.
College students need to have phone numbers, email addresses, and mailing/shipping addresses at the ready. And while yes, they can text Mom and Dad for the answers, warn them that they may end up as an example on Leighton’s TikTok or Instagram page!
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