Best Results Organizing

Paper Doll readers know it’s a rarity for me to do interview posts. I’ve saved this feature for special topics and colleagues, like Melissa Gratias, Leslie Josel, and that fun group of genealogy organizers, Janine Adams, Jennifer Lava, and Hazel Thornton.

Today, I want to introduce you to life coach Allison Task. You’ll hear how experiencing misogyny, learning psychology, the dot-com boom, culinary school, Martha Stewart, and de-prioritizing social media have helped her organize a life that allows her to support her clients, her readers, and her kids (who have a lot of their own adventures going on).  

I’d like to say I knew a lot about Allison before she presented Let’s Make a Shidduch! How to Match Your Strengths to Client Needs and Do More of the Work You Love at NAPO2019 (especially as it turns out we went to the same college). But the shallow truth was, I picked her session because I was intrigued “shidduch” (Yiddish for “match,” as in matchmaking) and then was transfixed by the cool dress she wore during her presentation. 

Had I known I’d be writing this post two and a half years later, I’d have been careful to take better photos! In my defense, Allison is such a high-energy presenter, there’s no way I could have caught her when she wasn’t in motion. So, I’m particularly excited that she was able to sit down for this fun interview about how she became the powerhouse life coach, speaker, and author she is today.

Allison, although we met at the NAPO Conference in Fort Worth, Texas, we *almost* could have met at college. I graduated from Cornell University in 1989, and you arrived just a little later, finishing in 1994. Mine was the decade of big hair and oversized sweaters; yours was the era of Beverly Hills, 90210 (the original!), babydoll dresses, and flannel shirts.

Could you tell Paper Doll readers about your early life and college years (when you majored in Human Development and Family Studies at Cornell, and later got a Masters in Science in Food and Nutrition from New York University)? What did you plan to do when you finished school?

But really, which one of us was Gear bags? Neon pinstripe jeans? NafNaf and ID#? I mean, Aqua Net belongs to the ages, but I am going to claim Sir Mix-A-Lots “I Like Big BUTTS” refrain as central to my college experience. Sigh. I just know I wore a lot of unitards and boot cut jeans under that flannel…

[Editor’s Note: As much as I love to link to pop culture videos, readers are just going to have to click through if they want to sing and dance along to Baby Got Back. It’s still a little spicy for an organizing blog!]

I think one thing that was key to college, or at least my interests during that time, was that I wanted to help people. And I was obsessed with how we think, why we think, and how we make the choices we make. Growing up as a girl on Long Island in the 80s, my experience was that we were coached to be lemmings — go to the mall, get your face on, and attract a male. 

I really felt like my experience as a smart girl in the 80s was [being told] to tone it down, diminish the smarts so you didn’t alienate the boys. Your value is the boy you attract. I repeat, your value is the boy you attract. So I read the magazines and did the things to be, well…visions of Cherry Pie and Aerosmith videos. I think of the 80s hypersexualized women and girls, and those were the messages I received about women’s and girls’ worth. 

At college, there was a refrain that we were the “ugliest girls in the Ivies.” [Editor’s note: Not Allison or I, personally. Just to be clear. We were stunning!]

And we heard that “smart girls are, obviously, dogs.” I remember the word dogs being used instead of women. So, I have a bit of baggage. When Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh’s hearings were going on, I watched every one. My phone line was lit up with friends at Yale who went there when he did. Those stories about high school parties and bad behavior led to similar in college. Similar but worse. And my college experience was full of experiences like those that Dr. Christine Blasey Ford revealed. Both experientially, and watching very drunk girls get carried away into rooms for terrible abuse. I saw and experienced things I wish I didn’t, and got both campus police and [the campus newspaper] involved. Let’s just say the male authorities didn’t want to touch any of that stuff.

It’s a different time today and I’m grateful for it. But it’s hard not to remember college without those experiences pushing to the fore. 

I went to school because I wanted to learn more about people and how they think. Thus, Human Development. As I saw it, after I received my degree, I could go into marketing or social work. Since social work required more schooling, and seemed a bit grim and underpaid from the stories I heard from HDFS grads, I pursued marketing. 

And media. In fact, my first job after college was a paid internship with WNET (Channel 13) in NYC. I was to research a documentary about celebrating the differences between the sexes. Gosh, flash forward to years later and this would be a totally different subject!

On Day 1, the funding fell through and I was researching a documentary on Hoboken. After the award-winning producer brought me to his apartment in Hoboken a few times and made me feel horribly uncomfortable (Picking up on a theme here? I hope so!), I quit and waitressed at my local pasta joint. What a summer!

Yikes! So what then?

Then I got a job as a CD-ROM CEO’s secretary, and had the job of researching how they could build a web site.

This is how my career launched. A year later, I was working at an Internet startup, and a year after that was recruited by CNET in San Francisco to join their team. A year after that, I was working for another startup and my starting salary was more than my mother’s final salary before she retired as a principal. I share that to let you know what a head trip this all was — I was three years out of school with a Human Development degree making more than my mother did as a principal in the highest paying district in New York state. Bananas!

I worked at dot coms for the better part of 10 years. I had a front row seat to the internet revolution in the nineties and aughts and it was a blast. I had the most exhilarating conversations about what we can build, and work and life happily blurred. The conversations I had about possibility, and what might happen (“Imagine, some day we will do holiday shopping online! Really, we will!”), dodging the naysayers, believing and building — all set the groundwork for the kind of creatively inspired conversations I have with my clients every day as a coach.

I eventually left dot coms and went to culinary school. After ten years of digital, moving from NY to SF and back again, I was ready for something more tangible and tactile. It’s no mistake that the maker movement has come in concert with the rise of digitalization — they are yin and yang, and I needed more yang.

Also, the B-school folk rushed into the dot-com world and made it all about bottom lines. There was more than enough money for everyone, but the obsessive focus on “exploiting the market” turned me off and felt grotesque. When we moved from the creative question of “what can we build” to “how much money can we make” I got bored and went to share my talents elsewhere.

(The Food Science Masters at NYU happened in my late 30s and was more for fun than a direct part of my career path.) 

OK, so basically, you did the dot.com thing until late-stage capitalism turned the joy of creation into something unpalatable, then went to culinary school where everything was (hopefully) palatable! And (like me, before I was Paper Doll) you spent time in the television industry. The word is that you even worked with THE Martha Stewart!

All true! When I went to culinary school, I had a specific goal: I wanted to help people learn to cook at home. We grew up with the first generation of working moms and microwave dinner. I wanted to return the skill of home cooking to full time workers, and make it fun and easy. But not microwave easy, 20-30 minute puttanesca easy. I had put on some weight eating out all the time when I was dot-comming, but more importantly, I couldn’t hard boil an egg. I wanted to learn and I wanted to teach.

And the best home cooking teacher at the time, or at least the most visible, was Martha Stewart. And I needed to work for her. So I pursued and pursued until I had the opportunity. I was part of the launch team for Everyday Food, and eventually ended up as a culinary producer for her TV show. 

I learned more there than I had hoped — and was able to work directly with Martha. Presenting a TV segment to her is like defending a thesis. You have to think through everything. It raised my standards in the highest possible way.

While there, Martha was under investigation (and I left when she was sentenced to prison). As a result, the company was looking for talent inside the organization. I was asked to audition for a TV show, and ended up testing really well. (I was told I got very high “Q” ratings.) [Editor’s Note: Q scores measure familiarity and appeal of personalities and brands.)

So they media-trained me and gave me an opportunity to be part of the Everyday Food TV show on…PBS! Channel 13! Ah the irony of returning to that place of abuse as TALENT!

That was my first TV opportunity and it was a blast. Pure fun. After that I had opportunities to host shows on TLC, Lifetime, and Yahoo. An early producer gave me the advice, “Don’t count on this as a career, just have fun with it as long as you can.” I did and it was a blast.

How did these experiences prepare you for a career as a life coach, speaker, and published author? (And anything you want to say about Martha?)

Martha is great. She is endlessly curious and pursues those curiosities with vigor. I admire her tremendously.

I had twists and turns in my career. I knew what I wanted to do — help people, understand why they do what they do, and help them do the things they want / that benefit them. As a dot-com marketer, I helped explain what the internet could be. I helped people open their minds to the possibility of creating businesses online. It’s a leap of faith to show people the future, and to help them dream in this new environment.

That’s exactly what I do as a coach!

I get it! That’s what we do as professional organizers!

When the dot com became too exploitative or materialistic, I was turned off and looked for different work.

Working on TV helped me understand mechanics of communication — how I could interact with people to produce an emotion, and how sometimes helping people have a good cry could be beneficial to them. I learned how to connect with guests on my shows to set them at ease (while cameras were rolling), and build trust. These are absolutely skills I use with clients today (without cameras).

I trained as an early dot-commer to imagine the possible, and I trained as an on-camera host to build relationships with guests on the show and with my audience.

Working as an author I tried to share my personality / point of view to entertain and educate. 

I was never very good at or interested in social media and all the self promotion (or all the hours of liking and engagement that it requires). I sidelined myself from media work when that all got big, in part because I had three kids in a little less than 1-1/2 years and I wanted to put my focus on them, not Facebook or Instagram. 

This hurt me, I’m sure, in terms of my public image, but I’m quite happy about the connection I have with my kids and our light media engagement. I made the better choice personally, and it’s part of why my public image is rather quiet. 

What would you say was the turning point that helped you identify your true calling and fine-tune what you do professionally?

So many moments! Here are three key ones:

1. When I became a paper millionaire at my dot com at 26, I decided that was enough money to not have to work again. I wanted to live light, and I could live off the investment (not touching the principal). This opened the question of what work I would do if I didn’t have to work, which led me to helping people, helping their physical health, which led to cooking.
2. Getting that Q rating at Martha developed my confidence that “people liked me, they really liked me,” and if I was true to my personality, that could resonate in the market place. I didn’t have to Aqua-Net my way into the favor of the public, I just had to reveal who I actually was. That was the special sauce!
3. I was on the back of my boyfriend’s Triumph, tooling around NYC, and stopped near NYU to get some noodles. I picked up a copy of the NYU Steinhardt course catalog and saw the program for coaching. Lightning bolt moment — I could help people raise their game, work better than they are currently doing, enjoy life more. Sign. Me. The. Hell. Up! It was so clear that I had to do this, like the tide lifted me and I had to do it.

What do you love about the coaching experience? What are some things that have surprised you about coaching?

I love my clients. I love their bravery and courage to ask for more in their lives. I love our relationship, how we create a sense of trust and how I help them do what they know they want to do! I like supporting others to their own personal greatness.

I do get sad, sometimes, at the distance that is created culturally that we get so far from our own voice, that we stop listening to ourselves. I love the repair that can happen inside a person — that they can start to believe in and trust themselves again.

I love listening to another person really deeply so that they can better listen to themselves.

I like laughing and having fun with a client. There’s a big range of emotions — fear, sadness, hope, pain, joy…it’s powerful.

Writing is obviously a passion for you. Even before you were a coach, you made a name for yourself in writing cookbooks. There’s You Can Trust a Skinny Cook (as Allison Fishman) and Cooking Light’s Lighten Up, America!: Favorite American Foods Made Guilt-Free (under your full name, Allison Fishman Task).

But then you used your coaching expertise to write Personal [R]Evolution. That had to be a very different experience from writing cookbooks.

Yes! While writing cookbooks I was hired by big publishing houses and given a handsome advance. Personal (R)Evolution as actually self published! So I wrote what I wanted, made up the title and even the cover.

Personal (R)Evolution was written after working as a coach for 10 years. I had learned a lot about coaching, and began to see which of the tools I used to support clients were most helpful. Also at that time my price was pretty high (still is), so I wanted to offer a tool that clients could use that was less than several hundred dollars an hour for coaching.

I had a blog that I wrote weekly in my 30s, chronicling dating and life. I shut that down when I met my husband — he had a child and had been divorced, and I didn’t really feel like those were my stories to share. But I loved my blog, I loved writing my truth and having fun with it. I loved storytelling.

I don’t really have the time to do that right now — or I should say I’m not making the time — but storytelling has always been a part of me. When I was a kid my big Chanukah gift as was a typewriter (not a Cabbage Patch doll). More than painting or music, words have always been my art of choice.

Can you tell us about that writing experience? Writing a book about personal evolution (and revolution) likely yields an evolution and revolution in your own self. What did writing that book change in your life?

It’s hard to write a book on your own without your editor confirming that you’re on the right track. It’s stressful. I realized that I really count on editors to give me that positive reinforcement. I ended up hiring an editor I trusted to give me the straight dope on how the book was. She loved it.

It was important to me to write a book that resonated with others, and wasn’t just a vanity project. It’s very important to me that I am of service — entertainment is part of my service. If I entertain you, and you feel happy / enjoy the experience, then we can work a level deeper. It’s part of making a bond and setting the client at ease, preparing the client for more creative thinking.

The writing experience is different for every author. In the lingo of NaNoWriMo, there are “plotters” (writers who outline) and “pantsers” (those who write by the seat of their pants). What are you? Do you think you apply the coaching skills you give others to yourself to prevent procrastination and keep your writing organized?

BOTH! I need an outline to plot the course, and then I set a daily writing objective and just write the damn thing. I need some sort of direction and guidance, so an outline helps and (just like with my coaching clients), it is not a map it’s a guide. The whole point of the writing is that you learn that your outline needs to be adjusted.

This is KEY actually. Many of my clients want the path and then to follow a recipe. That’s not how life works! Certainly not how my life has worked. You put together your best guess of a plan then you respond to the lessons you learn along the way. Every hero’s journey has our hero meeting with challenges she didn’t expect and must meet to get to the next level. The person who enters the forest is not the person who leaves the forest.

Every hero's journey has our hero meeting with challenges she didn't expect and must meet to get to the next level. The person who enters the forest is not the person who leaves the forest. ~ @allisontask Click To Tweet

That is the game of life! So if you think they same about your book when you start it as when you finish, then you haven’t learned a thing in the writing of it. Be open to what you learn while you write your book and change your book accordingly. 

Please tell me you are not living the life you designed when you were 18! Some aspects (for me, it was being of service) are still intact. But I never in a million years thought I’d be on TV or write books. I hoped, I hoped quietly, but I didn’t think that would be available to me. And then it was. 

This year, you published A Year of Self-Care Journal, a mix of inspiring quotes, activities, and coached-through writing exercises, and has been in the top 50 of Amazon self-help journals since it launched. (Paper Doll readers, check out my review of the book here.)

In the introduction, you wrote:

Self-care has two components: growth and replenishment. We were not built to be in a state of stasis, we were built for dynamism. By providing yourself with the opportunity to try new things, you will grow.

and thought about how so many of these messages and exercises are ideal for organizing clients — especially after the last year and a half. 

Right? What a year for self-care. I wrote this mid-COVID, while all of my children were home and not in school. If there was ever a time when self-care was needed, this was it. Also my husband said if I wrote the book he’d take the lead with the kids, so this was an obvious choice. 🙂

My favorite quote was the one for week #52, by Viktor Frankl, the one that starts, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space.” It resonates so much!

But the exercises are so compelling, too. If you had to pick one exercise from the book that you wish everyone would try, which would it be?

I like the first exercise about laughing. I ask readers to deliberately invite laughter into their lives, whether they watch comedy on TV, go to a comedy show, etc. Be deliberate about making yourself laugh.

Physiologically laughter relaxes you and delights you. It is happiness and joy and creativity. I think we focus on eating, sleeping and exercise. all kinds of healthy obligations that maybe aren’t so fun, but we leave out an easy one that has a direct positive impact, LAUGHTER!

What have readers been telling you is their favorite advice or anecdote from A Year of Self-Care Journal?

People like the week about finance, where you do a quick review of where you are financially — where you’re spending and saving. This can be a quick back-of-the napkin exercise, and the point is that you take a moment to take a look at your financial health.

Many of my clients have been saving for years, and don’t know their current fiscal snapshot, which is much better than they realize. It can be happy to see their fiscal reality. Others don’t want to look because they’re afraid, and they really NEED to look at their finances so they can improve the choices they make and take care of their debt. If your credit card fees are at 20% and you can make a change to bring it to 5%, that’s pretty worthwhile, don’t you think? Refinancing a mortgage at these historically low rates is also a great exercise.

So checking on your fiscal health is just a smart thing to do,whether you do it quarterly or annually. I wish we could start teaching this basic life skill in high school; it’s very important and can set you at ease, or let you know there’s work to be done. 

Coaching, public speaking, and books are just the beginning. You have also created not one but TWO podcasts, a blog, and a newsletter! I love that Personal [R]Evolution is now a podcast course. But you also have Find My thrive with Allison Task. Can you talk about these podcasts and how they came to be?

I mean, really? Aren’t you starting to fatigue of me by now?

LOL. The good news is both podcasts are finite and complete so there’s no ongoing content to keep up with. Find My Thrive is about people who’ve left traditional work in favor of more creative/meaningful work and are thrilled they did. It’s very exciting. I created it as a showcase for some of the excellent work my clients were doing, and inspired work I people I knew. I just did one season of it and it was a blast.

My Personal (R)evolution podcast is an audio version of the book — so think of it as an audiobook with lots of bonus episodes. I used to do voiceovers (I know, yet another career), so I really enjoy having time in that audio booth! I connected with an awesome producer (now friend) at a coaching conference in Prague a few years ago, and she was really excited about my book and asked me if her company (Himalaya) could turn it into a podcast. So that’s how that went.

And that’s an important point — when you create something, whether it’s a book, a painting, a song or other work of art, you never know where it might go in the marketplace. I think it’s of value, always, to create and put significant effort into the creation. 

I’ve already had a few companies call me to do workshops or other events based on A Year of Self-Care Journal. Because the book has been selling so well, I have people seeking me out. When you put yourself or your ideas out there, you can attract others.

What you’re not being Allison the Expert, what’s going on in your life? What’s on the highlight reel of your life these days?

Allison the Expert. HA! How about Allison the Curious. Or Allison the Helper. Seeker? Seer? Healer sounds arrogant. I like Curious best. Can we go with that?

Oh, girl, in my private life most people think I’m a stay-at-home mom because I’ve got a lot going on. I’ve got four kids and they are some BUSY people. I am the PTA president at their elementary school, and we’re in this big cultural shift because about 1/3 of the population of the school departed during COVID for private school, so our school is completely evolving.

December is all about giving, so we’re organizing food drives, coat drives, gift drives, Toys for Tots…you get the drift. Plus, the PTA is a non-profit, so I’m the president of a non-profit. We have a lot of fundraising to do this year; fundraising to support the school means we get to support the teachers with above-and-beyond projects that they are passionate about. I’m quite honored to have this role and I take it very seriously.

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Allison Fishman Task (@allisontaskcoach)

 

I also shlep my kids around — which is a wonderful part of my day. I love the conversations we have in the car, and seeing them do their things. I twin sons: one is pursuing a black belt, so he does MMA training 3x week, and we’re up at 5 a.m. Saturdays and Sundays for his hockey games; his brother also hopes to start travel baseball this spring; and they play basketball and tennis!

My daughter loves art, so that’s driving to clay and sculpture and painting classes at the museum. She is going to try out for soccer this spring and maybe do Girls on the Run in the fall. And my stepdaughter is a freshman at Rutgers. In addition to rock climbing and fashion design, she’s currently working on an urban farm, so we all went to help her clean out the beds last weekend!

We also have little cabin in the Pennsylvania mountains that we get to once a month, so we do skiing, hiking, kayaking, canoeing, fishing and all that stuff up there. 

I like this life. See why social media isn’t a priority? I mean I’d have a great feed if someone wants to follow me around and chronicle this stuff, but for now I’d rather be present doing the stuff than telling everyone that I’m doing the stuff. Does that make sense? 

Yes, because you’re prioritzing. This professional organizer approves! So, even though you’re not posting about it all on social media, what are the three things that matter most to you?

1. Physical and mental health (so that I can enjoy #s 2 and 3)
2. The people I love.
3. The experiences that help me grow.

Before we wrap things up, can you tell us what’s next for Allison Task, Life Coach Extraordinaire?

After I turn in my PTA gavel (really, there is one — haven’t use it yet), I want to go deeper into coach training. I am pursuing my MCC [Master Certified Coach] which is the highest level of coach training. I look forward to earning that in 2022-2023.

I think I will pick up my storytelling on my blog so I can be of service to my past and future clients by putting useful ideas and frameworks out there. Sharing what I’m learning as I pursue coach training. Maybe a YouTube channel. Find a more engaging way to share ideas.

Oh! AND! I have another book coming out this December! My husband Aaron and I collaborated on a book earlier this year. (Yes, I know its crazy that I had two books come out in one year!)

The Morning Motivation book was really fun to write — both were in collaboration with a publisher, Callisto. They had the topic and asked me to write it. It’s a book of 130 quotations from a really diverse set of folks, from LL Cool J to Haruki Murakami. It’s all about what gets you up in the morning, and what motivates you to get up and get after it.

My husband is a journalist and we had a lot of fun researching and vetting these quotes this summer. I’ve always liked quotes and this book goes way beyond the obvious. It’s safe to say we deliberated over 500 quotes before landing on our favorites, with great ideas in there from James Cameron, Margaret Thatcher, Shirley Chisholm, RBG, Louis Armstrong, Marva Collins, and my girl Eleanor Roosevelt, really good stuff. 

I love a good quote book and so I held myself to a high standard to make this one great. I hope you enjoy it too!