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Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grownup Life: Part 3

Posted on: August 12th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 12 Comments

Parents, you’re counting down the precious days left with your college-bound students. Meanwhile, they’re counting down until they experience “freedom” and (gulp) adult responsibilities. In recent posts, we’ve covered a wide variety of skills and information to ensure they are prepared for the world beyond having you as a backup ride, bank, chief cook, and bottle-washer.

Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grown-Up Life: Part 1 identified essential legal documents and insurance policies, and reviewed the key financial skills every first-year student needs. 

Organize Your College-Bound Student for Grownup Life: Part 2 looked at communication skills, staying safe on campus and off, and the under-appreciated life lessons of mastering laundry.

This third installment of the college life skill syllabus delves into keeping all the time management balls in the air, developing an academic safety net, being a safe car operator, and social etiquette to ensure good relationships. There’s even a smattering of bonus life skills.

We finish up with with a bibliography of reading resources for you and for your college-bound student.

HOW TO MASTER TIME AT COLLEGE

In high school, time is fairly regimented; the bell rings every fifty minutes, moving students on to their next classes. There’s study hall to get a start on homework, and teachers provide periodic, staged deadlines for students to show their progress and keep from falling behind; they turn in a topic idea, then a bibliography, outline, first draft, and finally a completed report. Class periods before tests are earmarked for reviews. Academic prep time is spoon-fed.

In college, the freedom to set your own schedule has the drawback of requiring an adult sense of perspective on prioritizing what’s important (and not just urgent or fun). Wide swaths of free time must be divvied up and self-assigned: for studying new material, doing problem sets, completing projects, and preparing for exams.

Food and clean clothes are not delivered by magic fairies; they may require transportation, funds, labor, and time! 

College-bound kids may not want to take advice regarding time management, but try to start conversations to get them thinking about how to: 

Explain how to beat procrastination by understanding its causes and then incorporating good planning, prioritizing, and decision-making techniques (like the Eisenhower Decision Matrix), and locating accountability support. These Paper Doll posts can help:

They can even try some Study with Rory Gilmore videos, including this one that incorporates the Pomodoro Technique!

I can’t think of a better expert for your college (and college-bound high school) students, especially those with ADHD, than my fabulous colleague Leslie Josel. She’s the one who developed an amazing Academic Planner for middle-grade and high school students, and I interviewed her for Paper Doll Peeks Behind the Curtain with Superstar Coach, Author & Speaker Leslie Josel.

Order Leslie’s book, How to Do It Now Because It’s Not Going Away: An Expert Guide to Getting Stuff Done, before the semester gets too far, and you’ll help your first-year college student conquer procrastination, develop excellent study skills, and really dissipate their stress. 

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HOW TO SUCCEED ACADEMICALLY

Paper Mommy has been many great things, but an eager student was never one of them. In the mid-1950s, she and her friends stood in the college gymnasium, lost in the registration chaos. They asked one snazzy-looking fellow what he was taking. Statistics. And that’s how my mother, who majored in nursery school education, ended up in a statistics course.

The professor asked Paper Mommy‘s friend, Shirley to her Laverne, about one of the concepts. As if on a game show, the friend said, “I’ll pass.” The professor replied, “You wanna bet?”

Seek support

Navigating college academic life requires a different set of skills and strategies compared to high school. Paper Mommy and her friends would have benefited from knowing to:

  • Talk to your advisor — Paper Mommy and her friends did not know that they had assigned advisors, not merely the college equivalent of a high school guidance counselor, but someone with expertise in a student’s chosen major. 
  • Read the syllabus — A syllabus is a magic wand for success, spelling out everything a student must know and do, and when. Take notes on the deadlines to plan backward.
  • Go to office hours — College professors and teaching assistants won’t spoon-feed the material; it isn’t high school.  But showing up for office hours (after studying to figure out what questions to ask) will help clarify material and set your kid apart from fellow students, 
  • Seek out peer tutoring — Colleges offer a variety of academic help, but students have to advocate for themselves, ask for help, and make their own appointments. 
  • Find or form study groups — To be certain you understand something, try to teach it to someone else. 

Expand upon good learning and study habits

  • Participate in class — Lectures, labs, and tutorials may contain insights that textbooks don’t. Encourage asking questions and participating in discussions. Engaging with the material and observing how the professor and other students engage with it deepens understanding and make the material more compelling.
  • Explore different note-taking methods — From outlining and mind-mapping to the Cornell Note-taking Method and the Boxing Method, students can find ways to take notes that support differing learning styles and specific coursework types.
  • Find the right study environment — Students should experiment to figure out where they concentrate best, whether it’s the library, a coffee house, or an empty classroom, or under a tree, as Rory Gilmore found at Yale. (The TV Ambiance YouTube page is full of virtual study environments from favorite TV shows!) Just be sure to have a backup location in case someone steals your space!

  • Embrace active learning — Go to study skills labs to learn how to use active learning techniques like summarizing, teaching the material to someone else, or using flashcards.
  • Review material often — Spaced repetition, or reviewing material frequently, in small chunks, helps reinforce learning and improve retention better than cramming. 

  • Embrace editing — One of the biggest failings of new (smart) college students is that they fail to edit their papers. Proofreading is correcting errors; editing involves reviewing arguments to make sure they are logical and actually respond to the assigned questions. Read aloud to see if it makes sense. Seek feedback; does it make sense to someone else?

Parents, encourage your student to balance academic work with self-care. Burnout is real and presents a danger to mental and physical health. Urge them to work hard, but also to participate in informal and formal social activities, hobbies, and relaxation.

Talk often so you can recognize if your student is struggling academically or personally. 

DEVELOP SOCIAL ETIQUETTE FOR COLLEGE

Manners aren’t just about knowing which fork to use when there are a multitude on the table. (But in case they get a good internship and rub elbows with movie stars or royalty, the basics are as simple as: start with the utensils on the outside and work toward your plate!)

They’ll roll their eyes, but remind them that basic manners will help them live more easily with dorm-mates, work smoothly with fellow students on group projects, and not embarrass themselves if invited to the home of a professor or to stay a weekend with a roommate’s family. Like:

  • Don’t eat or use what isn’t yours without permission. (Then replace it or return the favor.)
  • Don’t move something that doesn’t belong to you; if it’s in your way, put it back as soon as possible.
  • Return borrowed items quickly. Launder or dry-clean borrowed clothes. Refill the gas tank of a borrowed car.
  • Reciprocate other’s kind behaviors.

Other real-world manners and etiquette tips college-bound students might not have absorbed:

Dining

  • Know which is your bread and which is your drink — Make the OK sign with both hands on the table in front of you. One makes a lowercase “b” (on your left) and “d” (on your right). The “b” for bread means your bread plate goes to your upper left; the “d” for drink means the glass to your upper right is yours. Don’t butter an entire slice of bread or roll and then eat it (except at your own breakfast table). Break off a bite-sized piece of bread, apply butter (or jam, etc.) and eat.

  • Wait until everyone has been served (or seated with their dining tray) to eat. Don’t gobble your food. You are not Cookie Monster.
  • Don’t rush to leave before your companions are done eating. (If you need to leave to get to class, apologize for not staying until the other person is finished.)
  • Know when and how much to tip in restaurants, for pizza delivery, etc. 

Social Interactions

  • Introductions — Know how to properly introduce yourself and others in a social setting, with first and last names. 
  • Handshake — Offer a firm (not limp, not crushing) handshake, smile, and make eye contact. (If eye contact makes you uncomfortable, remember, it’s not a staring contest. Connect, then look anywhere in the general vicinity of the other person’s face.)
  • Personal space — Respecting others’ personal space in social and professional settings requires situational and cultural awareness and understanding the nuances of physical boundaries. Don’t touch people without asking. 
  • Phones — Don’t look at your phone when you’re eating or socializing with others unless responding to something urgent. Put  phones away at the meal table. 
  • Thank You Notes —  A good thank you note, sent promptly, goes a long way to show appreciation after receiving a gift, being hosted, getting interviewed, or being the beneficiary of an act of kindness. 
  • RSVP — Explain that not replying to an RSVP inconveniences a host. Replying in a timely manner and committing to that response helps the host plan (financially and logistically).
  • Online social interactions — A digital footprint lasts forever, and online behavior matters. Being a jerk online has the potential to ruin a reputation just as much as being a jerk at a party. 
  • Networking — Your college kid isn’t thinking about the business world, but people help and do business with those they know, like, and trust. Help them see the importance of strengthening connections by sharing personal stories where maintaining connections, being generally useful, and even sending a LinkedIn connection request with a personalized message can mean a lot down the road.

Cultural Sensitivity

Good cross-cultural etiquette means not judging people who don’t follow the above guidelines. 

Respect diversity. Understand cultural differences in manners, and be open to learning and adapting when doing study abroad or interacting in other cultural settings.

Use language that’s respectful, inclusive, and kind. 

CARE FOR THE CAMPUS CAR

@the_leighton_show

The low fuel warning also doesn’t stop my wife from going to @target #teenagers #drivinglessons #driving #parentsoftiktok #funny

♬ Highway to Hell – AC/DC

Even if your student has been on the road for a few years, being a car owner (or responsible party) is different from driving Mom’s car to school. Car care can be a mystifying area of adulthood.

Oversee that inspections and major maintenance gets done when your student is home for breaks, and jointly go through the recommended auto maintenance schedule in the car’s manual. Help them figure out how to either do basic car care or to get it done professionally. 

Teach the basics, like how to:

  • Fill the gas tank before it’s only 1/4 full (and not when the gas light comes on). This is especially important if they attend school in wintery locales.
  • Fill the tank on a schedule, not when it’s empty, but perhaps every Saturday after lunch. (And don’t try to put diesel in a non-diesel vehicle!)
  • Download an app for finding the best gas prices, like Gas Buddy.
  • Know how to check the oil before the oil light comes on. Oil and filter changes don’t have to be done as frequently as they used to, due to synthetic oil, but it still must be done.
  • Know how to check tire pressure and fill tires properly.
  • Know what the dashboard lights mean. — I once heard someone call the tire pressure alert the “Surprise Light.”

  • Understand how to check and change fuses, replace windshield wipers, and know when to seek a professional mechanic. 

Prepare them for emergencies. They should:

DON’T GET SCAMMED AT COLLEGE

According to a study by the Better Business Bureau, 18-24 year-olds are more often victims of scams than senior citizens! Teaching college students to recognize and avoid scams is crucial. Encourage a skeptical mindset.

Common Scams Targeting College Students

Just as I wrote about scams that target seniors in Slam the Scam! Organize to Protect Against Scams, there are many that target college students, including:

  • Scholarship and grant scams — Legitimate scholarships don’t ask for fees.  
  • Student loan scams — Be wary of companies that promise to forgive or lower student loans for a fee. Confirm loan information through the school’s financial aid office or consult government (.gov) websites like Federal Student Aid.
  • Housing scams — When seeking off-campus housing, avoid listings requiring upfront payments before touring properties. Use reputable rental sites; don’t send money via wire transfer.
  • Job scams — Know that legitimate employers don’t ask for bank information until you’ve been officially hired. Be wary of job offers promising high pay for minimal work.

Watch for Red Flags

  • Urgency and high pressure tactics — The world is full of deadlines, but scammers use fear of missing out to create a sense of urgency. Don’t become a victim by being pressured to act quickly without time to analyze what’s happening.
  • Unsolicited Offers — Be dubious about any unsolicited contact from outside of the school’s usual resources, whether by email, phone, or (especially) text, whether seeking personal information or offering services, funds, or assistance.
  • Unusual Payment Methods —  Students need to understand that payment by check or credit card is normal, but requests for payment by gift card, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency are hallmarks of scams. Legitimate transactions use secure, traceable payment methods.
  • If a financial loan, grant, paid internship, or side hustle seems “too good to be true,” especially if the college’s financial aid office or academic departments doesn’t know anything about it, it’s likely a scam.

Always do independent research and verification. Check websites, Google to make sure phone numbers and addresses aren’t fake, and seek unbiased reviews. Consult trusted sources, including professors and advisors, college financial aid and work/study divisions, and yes, parents.

Online Safety

GenZ will be dubious that parents can advise them on online safety, but talk about:

  • Privacy Settings — Adjust social media privacy to limit personal information visible to the public.
  • Phishing Scams — Be wary about emails, texts, or social media direct messages that appear to be from trusted individuals or institutions but ask for personal information or money, or contain suspicious links. Pick up the phone and verify by calling people or institutions directly.
  • Secure Websites — Look for “https://” in the URL and the padlock icon in the URL bar before entering personal or financial information! 

Report Scams

RANDOM LIFE SKILLS

I lived in the International Living Center at Cornell for all four years of college. Of 144 students in our dorm, only about 15% were from North America; whether they were the youngest freshman or the oldest grad students — from ages 16 to 34 — many students experienced some sort of culture shock.

College is already its own kind of culture shock. Your students shouldn’t hesitate to ask for help. That said, adopting an attitude of weaponized incompetence instead of seeking to learn how to do something themselves may eventually annoy roommates, friends, and professors. In these last days before college, make sure they know:

  • How to tell time on an analog clock — Additionally, it appears that many GenZers are miffed when GenXers and Boomers use expressions like “a quarter ’til” or “half past” because they think it’s some kind of code. And does your student understand time zones?  
  • How to use public transportation — If your kid will be living in a city where subways, light rail, or busses are essential for moving around, they’ll need to learn…fast. If you don’t know how to navigate, where to stand, or how to pay, ask someone who does know to give you and your student a lesson in the basics.
  • How to read a map — GPS can be flawed. GPS (and cellular service) can go down. Being able to read and understand both digital and paper maps is a key navigation skill. (So is orienteering, but if your kid is leaving for campus in a week or two, it may be too late.)
  • How to hide emergency money — “Mad money” was a 20th-century term for having some cash set aside so you could escape a bad date and get home safely. You never know when you might need money or an approximation thereof and Apple Pay won’t cut it.

A friend recently recalled how fellow students used to keep subway tokens in their penny loafers in the 1980s. My grandfather, Paper Mommy‘s dad, was interviewed by a newspaper in the 1930s after being robbed outside of a hotel; he reported that hadn’t lost all of his cash because he’d hidden some bills in his socks!

Advise hiding a few dollars inside their phone case.

  • How to unclog a toilet or a drain — Bonus points for teaching them how to turn off the water at the source. It may not be necessary in the dorms, but once they have an apartment, knowing how to find the shutoff valve for an overflowing toilet, sink, or washing machine will be a nifty skill.
  • How to change a light bulb — Yes, seriously. Turn it off and let it cool before unscrewing it. As with screws, hoses, shower heads and similar items: righty tighty, lefty loosey.
  • How to sew a button back on.
  • How to swim — Yes, we’re cutting it close in mid-August, but some schools (such as my alma mater) required and still require swimming proficiency (for safety’s sake). 

No matter how much these three posts have tried to cover everything, it’s likely you’ll have your own submissions for Chip Leighton’s The Leighton Show by the end of the school year. (The caption is the same, but this one is different from the videos in the last two posts.)

@the_leighton_show

What’s your street name?? #text #college #freshman #son #daughter #mom #dad #humor #greenscreen

♬ original sound – The Leighton Show

RESOURCES FOR COLLEGE-BOUND STUDENTS

The Adulting Manual by Milly Smith

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The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College by Harlan Cohen

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RESOURCES FOR PARENTS

Articles for Parents of College-Bound Students and New College Students

Support and Advice Groups for Parents

  • CollegeConfidential.com Parents’ Forum
  • College Parent Insider’s Group
  • Facebook groups for parents of students at your child’s college — Search Facebook for “parents” and the school’s name. Official groups may be moderated by school personnel; others are independent and moderated by fellow parents.
  • College-based forums — Some colleges set up their own online forum or listserv for parents. Google “parent groups” or “parent forum” and your child’s school, and you will find sites like this one from the University of Minnesota.

Note: there’s a balance between asking group members to recommend an emergency dentist for your first-year who just cracked a molar and being a “helicopter parent” who tries to stir up controversy over a professor who gave your student a B. Check out Before You Join That College Parents Group on Social Media… at CollegeInitative.net.

Dear Parents: It will be a learning experience, and you’ll struggle with the balance between granting independence and being there for support. I hope going through the advice in these past three posts together will help you both feel more ready.

May you and your college student have a stellar first year!

Organize to Prevent (or Recover From) a Car Theft

Posted on: August 21st, 2023 by Julie Bestry | 17 Comments

 

HOW I LEARNED ABOUT “KIA BOYS”

It all started with a voicemail. I heard voices mumbling, and then a teenage girl said, “Hi. I’m just wondering, did you lose a car? Call this number back because, um, we just saw a red Kia, so if you’re missing a red Kia call this number back because we just saw someone drive away with a red Kia.”

I get a lot of robocalls, recorded messages meant to sound like personal calls. On my office line and cell, they want to talk to me about my car warranty or a problem on my “Microsoft computer” or, since the pandemic, let me know my company is due $26,000 per (non-existent) employee for the Employee Retention Tax Credit.

But I have a red Kia Soul, which I just paid off last month. So instead of hitting “delete,” I saved the voicemail (from an hour earlier), grabbed my key fob, and ran outside to my parking space. I clicked, but heard no “whoop whoop.” Repeatedly clicking, I searched left to right, thinking perhaps I’d parked a few spaces away in either direction. No car. No broken glass. Just nothing.

I pinched myself, sure this was one of those dreams, like the one where it’s the end of the school year and you haven’t ever attended class. I called the number back, and began a harrowing day. I learned that at 8:50 a.m., the caller and three fellow homeschooled classmates were walking into the gym associated with a church around the corner, just 0.8 miles away. The car thief, startled by their approach, “got back in the car, hit a fence, and drove off through a field.” 

The thief drove my car into the church’s enclosure fence 

Unfortunately, they didn’t think to call the police at the time, but after their volleyball practice was over, they came out to find that before they’d interrupted him, the driver had tossed all of my insurance and registration paperwork (as well as, inexplicably, my umbrella and the car parts he’d broken) all over the parking lot and the edge of the field. The girls found my number on the insurance papers and called me at that point. 

From there, I called the police. I received a dutiful visit from an officer whose serious demeanor reminded me of Tim from The Rookie.

Next, I spent the afternoon making an insurance claim over the phone, which was made more difficult by a powerful thunder/lightning/hail storm and tornado watch and a four-hour power outage that knocked out my landline.

This was no ring of car thieves. (Kias have the VIN number etched on every engine part, so chop shops don’t want them.) It was, as witnesses and doorbell cameras eventually identified, a teenage boy. Apparently, mine was not an uncommon experience. As I learned from the numerous salt-in-the-wound emails my friends and colleagues sent me, it was an attack by “Kia Boys.” These teenagers learn (from videos propagated across YouTube, Snapchat, and TikTok) how to exploit a flaw in some Kias and Hyundais to start them with just a USB cable, steal them, go joyriding, and abandon the vehicles after a bit of nefarious Ferris Beuler’s Day Off fun.

Kia and Hyundai just settled a $200 million lawsuit which should have meant theft victims like me would be reimbursed for damages, towing and car rental costs, and other out-of-pocket charges racked up as a result of this thievery. There would also have been software upgrades, extended alarms, and stickers to warn off would-be thieves. However, last week, a judge delayed approval of the settlement, saying “it fails to provide “fair and adequate” relief to vehicle owners.”

ORGANIZE TO PREVENT YOUR CAR FROM BEING STOLEN

If being organized guaranteed a car wouldn’t be stolen, professional organizers would be immune. However, there are proactive measures to make your vehicle less vulnerable and deter potential thieves from targeting your car.

  • Keep your car in your garage. This recalls the quote, “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” The safest place for your car is in your locked garage rather than in the driveway or on the street. Of course, this means that you might have to reduce the clutter in your garage and organize it to make room for your household’s cars. 
  • Park in well-lit, well-populated areas, especially at night. This obviously isn’t foolproof, as my car was stolen in broad daylight, at approximately 8:40 a.m., with 40 apartments directly facing my parking space.
  • Remove valuables from your car when you’re not in it. Keep a basket or bin in your vehicle or the garage to make it easy to carry things from car-to-home at the end of the day.
    • This advice isn’t designed to clutter-shame you, but why tempt thieves who might steal the contents of your car even if they don’t steal your entire car? My car was practically empty; not counting jumper cables in the hatchback/trunk area (which the thief never accessed), the only non-paper items in the interior car were two umbrellas, a $10 phone charger, and my driving eyeglasses.
    • The less you have in your car, the easier it is to remember what was stolen and to report it to the police (in case they can track fenced items) and your insurance company.
    • If you must leave valuables in the car when you are out and about, hide them to make the contents of the car, if not the car itself, look less desirable. Stash things in the trunk or under the seat, or even in an empty dog food bag or diaper box.
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    • If there are valuable things in your car that you cannot conveniently remove (like children’s car seats or assistive devices like wheelchairs), at least make an inventory of what you own so, in the worst case scenario, you know what’s missing and what needs to be replaced.
  • Remove personally-valuable items from your car. I’m amazed whenever an organizing client says, “Oh, I left my purse in the car, let me go get it.” Wallet, checkbook, phone, family photos, toddler’s favorite stuffy? If you’re not in the car, they shouldn’t be in the car, not just because some things tempt thieves, but because your life will be much more inconvenient if you not only lack your car but also your allergy medicine or your chid’s schoolbag with homework or your credit cards. 
    • Don’t keep any unnecessary personally-identifying papers in the car. However, if stopped by police, you must provide your license and registration, and most jurisdictions now ask for proof of insurance. There’s a safety tradeoff related to keeping insurance and registration information solely on your phone (even in a secure cloud) vs. in the car, and your state and region may have specific rules for digital vs. tangible records. 
    • Don’t keep other people’s personally-identifying papers unattended in your car. Whether you’re a doctor, lawyer, professional organizer, or whatever else, don’t leave client files easily accessed by ne’er-do-wells.
  • Never leave your car running if you are not sitting in it. In the past, I’ve been tempted to get a detachable keyring so I could leave my car running while using my mail key ten feet from my car. Imagine the guilt and frustration you’d feel if you made it that easy for a bad guy to take your car!
  • Never leave your keys in the car.  
    • I don’t just mean your car keys; if a thief has your car and your keyring and your insurance/registration papers, he can figure out where you live (even if the car was stolen from elsewhere) and access your home and your family. Yikes!
    • I don’t just mean the keys shouldn’t be visible. Don’t leave keys in your glovebox or console or under the floor mat!
  • Always Lock Your Car — Thieves are opportunistic. Don’t make it easy for them.
  • Consider a Steering Wheel Lock. — Yes, they’re ugly and clunky and haven’t really been updated since the 1980s when The Club was popular, but if you don’t have a manufacturer-installed software/hardware solution, a visible steering wheel lock can act as a deterrent. 
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  • Use Wheel Locks — If you’re going to be away for an extended period of time, whether your car is at the airport or outside your home, or just fear your wheels or tires being stolen, wheel locks (AKA: lug nut locks) prevent thieves from (easily) removing your tires and wheels. The locks require a special key to remove the nuts. I have them, but unluckily for me, the evildoer wanted my entire car.
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  • Talk to your insurance company, your dealer, and mechanic about installing any/all of the following:
    • An Alarm System — Most modern cars already have alarm systems set when you lock the car such that if someone tries to break in, a loud, annoying sound alerts everyone in the vicinity. However, there are after-market alarm systems to make the alarm louder and of longer duration.
    • A Kill Switch — It’s possible to install an electrical device that prevents your car’s engine from starting unless you engage a hidden switch, and it’s a surprisingly inexpensive option. Thieves won’t be able to start the car, even if they have the keys.
    • A GPS Tracking System — There are electronic systems and services that allow you to monitor your vehicle’s location so that if your car is stolen, you can tell information and they can find the car. My car’ Kia e-Services allowed me to see the last location I parked (which is helpful in a crowded mall or airport), but it only works in confluence with my phone. A subscription service like Kia Connect or OnStar can actually monitor the location of the car at any time.
    • Failing all this, buy an Apple AirTag and link it to your Apple ID account; then tuck it into the upholstery of your vehicle.
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You’ll be able to track your car, just as you can use Find My to find your phone or computer. (Car & Driver has a list of similar car trackers.) However, don’t try to recover your car on your own or face off with the thieves; let the police do that!

Again, these precautions aren’t perfect, but you can significantly reduce the risk of a break-in or car theft.

ORGANIZE TO RECOVER FROM A CAR THEFT

If your car gets stolen, it’s important to take prompt action to increase the chances of recovering your vehicle and minimize potential damage. 

Recover Procedurally and Physically

1) Contact the Police — Report the theft to your local law enforcement agency as soon as you realize your car has been stolen. Provide them with all necessary details, including your vehicle’s make, model, color, license plate number, VIN (Vehicle Identification Number), and any distinguishing features. Update police with additional information that might help them locate your vehicle, such as any recent sightings, potential locations where the car might have been taken, and any personal belongings that might have been inside the car.

2) Notify Your Insurance Company and Start a Claim — Contact your insurance company to report the theft. They will guide you through the claims process and provide instructions on what information and documentation you need to provide. Your insurance company should also be able to arrange for a rental car, depending on your policy. 

If your stolen car is recovered but damaged, you will owe your comprehensive (not collision) deductible, as I explained in Organize for an Accident: Don’t Crash Your Car Insurance Paperwork [UPDATED]. Be prepared for the work to take a long while. I’m two weeks into the process and the estimates haven’t been completed!

3) Notify the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) if you’re required to report auto thefts in your jurisdiction. (Ask the police officer who takes your report, check the DMV site, or call to verify.) If someone tries to register a car with your VIN, it should pop up in the DMV’s system as stolen.  

3) Try to Find Your Car, but Don’t Get in the Way of the Police — You are not a professional, so don’t step on law enforcement’s toes. However, there are some things you can do:

  • GPS Tracking — If your vehicle is equipped with a GPS tracking system, notify the tracking company about the theft. They may coordinate with law enforcement locate your vehicle.
  • Check Your Trackers — Track your AirTag’s (or another tracker‘s) location. 
  • Reach Out on Social Media and in Your Community — Utilize social media platforms to share information about your stolen vehicle, including photos, a description, and any relevant details. You can also share the information with local community groups and online forums to increase awareness. Do not post your personal (off-platform) contact info, though.
  • Check Nearby Surveillance Cameras — If the theft occurred in an area with security cameras (e.g., parking lots, streets), contact nearby businesses or property owners to see if they have any surveillance footage that could help identify the thief or the location where the car was taken. 
  • Ask witnesses to call the police, and give names of witnesses to the police. If call a main number to provide updated information, reference your police report or case number.

4) Keep Organized Notes and Documentation. Write a time-stamp in the corner of the page as you keep a contemporaneous log of everyone you contact at the police, insurance company, towing company, and other services.

You’ll need to provide your VIN number, license plate number, insurance policy number, and police report number over and over. Highlight them on the paper or bold and enlarge them on your screen for quick access. Keep a record of all the information related to the theft, including names of officers, agents, adjustors, or employees with whom you speak. Make a special subfolder for email correspondence with your insurance company or body shops.

5) Prevent Identity Theft — If the thieves gain access to any of your personal information through papers left in the car, be diligent in monitoring your financial accounts and credit reports for any signs of identity theft.

The sooner you take action after your car is stolen, the better your chances of recovering it. It’s also crucial to remain patient and work closely with law enforcement and your insurance company throughout the process.

Recover Emotionally

Call a friend and have them come over and sit with you while you deal with the initial aftermath. If nothing else, they can be a calming presence and body double, watch your kids or sit with your elderly relatives, or make tea. They can answer your landline if you’re on your cell or vice versa. They can take contemporaneous notes while you’re speaking with the police or insurance so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. They can help you brainstorm what might have been in the car, and make sure you don’t miss any steps.

Seek support. You have been a victim of a crime, and while this is not in the same realm as a home invasion or physical attack, it is a violation. Consider speaking with a therapist to handle any anxiety that the situation provokes.

DON’T LET A CAR THIEF LIVE IT UP ON YOUR DIME

Pause or disable any car-related services. Once I’d dealt with the police and insurance, I was frustrated knowing that I would not be able to listen to satellite radio in the rental car. It suddenly made me very angry imagining that not only would I be unable to bop along to 80s songs or listen to Dragnet on Radio Classics, but I realized, “This little miscreant could be in my car right now, listening to Howard Stern!” 

Oh, Joe Friday, if only you could have caught the guy!

A little Googling taught me that while you can suspend Sirius XM satellite radio service for up to six months, you can only do by calling, not online. Sirius will only suspend the service for a month at a time, and you must call back to continue the suspension or resume service.

Consider what services are connected to your car so you can avoid the tale told in The Creepy Second Life of a Totaled Tesla.

HOW TO BE AN AMATEUR SLEUTH WITHOUT GETTING IN THE POLICE’S WAY

The night of the theft, after the storms and tornados were behind us, just as a lovely rainbow appeared, my neighbor and his friend offered to drive me around the neighborhood of the church where the thief had dumped my belongings. Behind the church, we saw the small area enclosed by a wooden fence and the portion knocked down by the thief.

Yup. Those are tire tracks. (Would you call that a field?)

We could also see the tire tracks where the thief drove through what the witnesses called a field, but is really just a grassy backyard; on the other wise was an opening onto a suburban street. The guys walked across the wet lawn and dropped a pin on their phones.

My neighbor leads the way across the wet field; his brave friend is wearing shoes he’d literally purchased an hour earlier. Thanks, Jonathan & Andrew!

We then drove to the pinned map location and around the neighborhood, with my arm stuck out the window to see if my key fob could set off the alarm. No luck, but I felt a bit better knowing we’d tried. 

AN UPDATE ON THE THEFT OF THE KIA

The witnesses’ coach contacted the police and helped the girls make a detailed report; she also contacted the church’s pastor. He and his wife picked up all of the items the thief dumped in their parking lot. Remember the storms and tornado watch? Had these kind people not connected, my registration and insurance paperwork (and umbrella!) might have ended up in Oz.

When I retrieved my possessions the next day, I learned that the pastor had also made a police report (since it was the church’s fence that the thief hit during his ill-considered escape from the piercing eyes of four teenage girls). Better yet, the church has outdoor security cameras!

In this bad news/good news/bad news story, the good news is that the police recovered the car the next day. (They even fingerprinted it, just like on TV!) Doorbell footage shows the car was abandoned approximately 15 minutes after the girls saw him, and no more than 30 minutes after it was stolen. And both the dumping of my papers at the church and abandonment were within a mile of my house (in a cul-de sac about one-tenth of a mile from where I’d been clicking the key fob the prior night).

The bad news is that the car was pretty extensively damaged; in addition to front-end smooshing, the ignition system was destroyed and the car isn’t drivable. There’s also unknown functional damage, plus the formerly pristine interior was left a muddy mess. It’s now in the hands of the insurance company and the collision shop.

As with any bad experience, there are always moments of lightness and humor. In addition to leaving behind implements of destruction and thievery, the hoodlum left a ziplock bag filled with about $20+ of quarters. Pinching the bag between my thumb and forefinger as if it were a dirty diaper, I turned it over to the police officer (who gently rolled his eyes when I suggested it might have drug residue on it). My sister tsk’ed that the bag could have held a rare coin, something to fund any non-covered repairs. And my friend suggested the thief planned to take my car to an arcade, or possibly a laundromat. (Considering how much mud he tracked into my car, I’m guessing the latter.)

For what it’s worth, at the end of the day of the theft, storms, and tornado watches, there was a sign of hopefulness.