Best Results Organizing

tol · er · ate –– /ˈtäləˌrāt/; verb

• allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.
• accept or endure (someone or something unpleasant or disliked) with forbearance.

What Are You Tolerating?

Years ago, before I became a professional organizer, I was in the habit of reading books about life coaching. They all noted that the first step to creating the kind of life you want was to start by identifying the unsatisfying things that you tolerate. Knowing what makes you unhappy helps you create a strategy for eliminating those “tolerations,” the obstacles to your happiness. 

Professionally, I get to use my role as an outside observer to help spot, and eliminate, what clients are tolerating. Too often, people can’t see the forest for the trees. They know they’re frustrated, but they often can’t pinpoint the origin of the pain.

I often assign homework to new clients, asking them to keep a small notebook or pad and write down every instance of when and where they’ve been annoyed by something in their spaces or schedules.

It’s easier to create an effective filing system if you eliminate the papers and documents that are out-of-date or unnecessary, and you’re not going to want to do it if your hanging file rail jiggles or squeaks every time you open a drawer. You can’t organize your closet if it’s full of clothes that don’t fit or flatter your body (or is piled with things that don’t belong in your clothes closet in the first place!), and you won’t work on it at all if the closet’s overhead lightbulb is burned out. 

Once you identify a problem, you can begin to fix it.

Forgotten and Hidden Obstacles

Stated that way, it’s obvious. You can’t solve a problem that you don’t know exists.

But even knowing you have a problem doesn’t mean you’ll be inclined to fix it right away. We humans are procrastinators! If a light bulb burns out, but you don’t replace it immediately, the first few times you flip on the switch, you get frustrated anew – you’re alert to the annoyance and it’s acute.

But after a while, you get accustomed to less illumination over your bathroom mirror or dining table, and this problem becomes a low-level hum of almost-forgotten annoyance. You knew you had a problem, but as you learned to live with it, it became chronic, and consciously, you ignored it. Often, a second, or even a third light has to burn out before you can be bothered to make a change. We “put up” with things, tolerating them because we assume the physical energy to fix it will be greater than the mental energy of putting up with it. It’s not. 

Professional organizers are not immune to ongoing tolerations. In the vein of “the shoemaker’s children go barefoot,” I’ve been known to let my small frustrations simmer into a stew of crankiness. But if you’re not in a mindset to actively take note of the problem in order to solve it, you’re likely to suffer in silence (or crankiness) without a sense of urgency or agency.

The Shower Curtain Liner Example

I’m short. I’m not exactly built in miniature, but I’m only 5’3″ and a few microns. A standard shower curtain/liner is typically 72 inches long, and to prevent the shower curtain from touching the floor or curving onto the floor of the tub, curtain rods should usually be installed around 75-to-77 inches from the floor. I have a lovely, gossamer shower curtain that hangs outside the tub, and an ordinary vinyl curtain liner hanging inside.

Cleaning vinyl shower curtain liners is a pain, and they’re cheap, so it’s easier to just replace them after a while.

The problem? With most shower curtain rings, even if you don’t need to launder the curtain, you still need to remove the curtain and the liner from the ring to access the liner. Because the ring itself is hanging from (or wrapped around) the rod, you have to be able to manually twist a plastic or metal portion of the ring to open it, releasing both the curtain and the liner.

Then you have to line up the button-hole style openings of the new liner to the ones in the curtain, and, one-by-one, insert the curtain rings and get the clasp to close. Depending on the kind of curtain hooks, you may have to twist the ring into place or pinch your skin on the metal hooks to get everything attached, like getting a new key onto an old keyring.

And if you’re petite, you have to do all of this while standing – balancing, teetering – on the edge of the bathtub. 

First world problem, right? I mean, how many times a year do you replace your shower curtain liner? But every time I thought about doing it, I’d waste the powerful mental energy of my shower time grousing about this when I could have been finding a cure for the common cold or having an imaginary conversation with Alexander Hamilton. 

But one day, I decided to do the exercise I recommend to my clients. I went room by room, listing each thing I’d been tolerating, each annoyance that was small on its own, but together conspired to frustrate my organized, joyous life.

At first, I only tackled the teeny tasks. I made decisions on clutter, moving things to the laundry, the dry-cleaning bag, the closet, the trash, and so on. Because I’m already fairly organized, this didn’t take long, and it honestly didn’t put much of a dent in my life. But then I kept coming back to that shower curtain toleration.

Instead of just hunkering down and changing the liner, I wondered, “How could this be less of a problem?” and, as I do with clients, brainstormed a list of possible solutions, no matter how silly.

• I could wish really hard that a genie would appear to do the task for me.
• I could move somewhere with a glass shower door.
• I could hire a cleaning person occasionally, timed to when I’d need the liner changed. 
• I could buy a higher step-stool to make the height issue less drastic (if still risky).
• I could research shower curtains to see if there were alternatives to the norm.

Wait, what was that last one?

Who actually brainstorms, 'Is there a different or better way to do this?' People who eliminate their frustrations, that's who! Click To Tweet

Finding a Solution

I’m sometimes shocked by how often a client or friend will state a problem and then sigh, as if it’s just something they have to suffer. Occasionally, they’ll say, “Well, I looked at doing X” or “But I tried Y” as if a powerful force field had kept them from going further. But let’s look at some quick, easy options. When facing an problem, you can:

1. Google (or use your favorite search engine), tweaking your search terms to find what you need. There are tricks to improve your searches.
2. Search on YouTube (which is ideal for solving “how to” problems, whether for plumbing repair, tying a tie, or fixing a stuck spacebar). Last year, someone stole my driver’s side mirror, yanking it from the electrical connections. (Who does that?!) A clear, concise YouTube video allowed me to purchase just the mirror and replace it myself, rather than having to take it to mechanic and pay for service.
3. Search in an online forum like (the less dodgy parts of) Reddit, Facebook business or community groups, or neighborhood groups.
4. Ask for suggestions on your social media pages.
5. Visit or call your local public library. Librarians are experts at finding information. (Let’s say your problem requires a tool, and you don’t want to buy a specialized tool. Did you know many cities have tool libraries?)
6. Ask a professional organizer. We know stuff. (We professional organizers get asked all sorts of things. “How do I fold a fitted sheet? What’s the best label-maker? How do I pay off my mortgage faster? Where can I donate this random item that’s of no use to me but might make someone else’s life magical?” Ask your PO!

Back to the Shower Curtain Liner

I didn’t know what I was seeking – yet – but I’d identified the problem. So, I Googled (and Googled and Googled). I found washable shower curtain liners that never need to be thrown away. That was good for the environment, but didn’t help me with my twisty/pinchy fingers or my balancing on the tub’s edge. Then I moved on to looking at all of the different kinds of shower curtain hooks and rings. I’d seen different colors and styles all my life, but they all functioned basically the same – you must twist, snap, or (at best) slide both the curtain and the liner onto/off of one hook. 

Eventually, I found the term that would lead me to my solution: double shower curtain rings! The genius of a double shower curtain ring is that it separates the hanging of the shower curtain liner and the shower curtain itself; they hang independently, each on its own hook.

Vaguely reminiscent of tie hangers, the Amazer stainless-steel double shower curtain rings fit the bill!

I could now remove the shower curtain liner and replace it without messing with the in-place shower curtain, and it was as simple as sliding the hook through the button-hole. My fingers were saved! Because the there’s nothing to un-hook or un-twist, there’s no need to stand on the edge of the tub – I could easily reach up and hang the new liner in under a minute.

Since finding (and delighting) in this simple solution, I’ve found other kinds of double shower curtain rings.

The Moen Double Shower Curtain Rings remind me of Marlo Thomas’ hairstyle on That Girl.

Orb’s Stainless Steel Double-Glide Hooks have an interior (shower-side) hook that hangs lower than the exterior hook. It’s a nifty design, but Paper Doll wonders whether the shower curtain liner may fall too low in the shower, creating a fall hazard.

Maybe this is to hide the top of the liner from view outside of the shower, but the Mr. Monk in me would not appreciate the uneven nature.

Digging Deeply to Solve Your Problem

Almost all of the things we tolerate can be solved by one of the following:

• A product
• A service
• A change in behavior
• A change in attitude

But first, we have to dig deeply to figure out what the real problem is. Let’s go back to what we discussed at the beginning. (And then read the classic Paper Doll post, 5 “Real Simple” Reasons We Don’t Get the Laundry (or Paperwork) Done.)

Is your family dressing out of the laundry basket? You may complain that nobody helps you put away the laundry, or that you find putting away laundry to be a chore. But perhaps it’s really that your closets and drawers are overstuffed, which makes the prospect of even thinking about putting laundry away too frustrating to consider. So, you tolerate the initial problem (overstuffed closets and drawers), which leads you to tolerate a further annoyance (wearing, washing, and rewearing the same outfits over and over, and dressing out of the laundry basket).

Let’s say you’re not filing your papers. Your instinct may be to dismiss yourself as lazy. But looking deeper, you may realize that a change in attitude or behavior could help, and decide to talk to a therapist or coach. Is it that you don’t have the time or willingness to do your own filing? If so, a professional organizer or assistant may be the way to go.

Perhaps on your own (or with a professional organizer’s guidance), you might realize that it’s not you – maybe it’s not even your system! Perhaps you’re avoiding filing because you’re chronically annoyed by a terrible, squeaky, unbalanced aftermarket file rail?

Over the past 13 years, the Paper Doll blog has covered a wide variety of products that offer solutions to organizing problems, most related to paper and information management. In fact, the most popular post in the history of this blog was the one where I told you about the Smead Heavy-Duty Adjustable Frame. 

No matter how many times we get annoyed at a problem, we have to call it a problem so that we can start looking for a solution instead of just accepting the annoyance.

Then, if we are confident that a solution can be found, we are much more likely to explore all of the options.

Whether it’s your pantry or your filing cabinet, your to-do list or your darned shower curtain, there are always solutions, and between search engines and experts – like your friendly, neighborhood professional organizer – your life can be better.

Moving forward, I’d like to open up the blog to readers and ask you to submit your organizing problems, Dear Abby-style. (Be assured, your privacy will be protected.) If there’s a product that can solve it, I’ll try to find it for you. If there’s a behavioral approach, we’ll tackle it. And if we need an outside expert, then we’ll talk to a rocket scientist who can find the solution.

What are you tolerating?