Archive for ‘Paper Organizing’ Category

Organize Your Charitable Donation Strategy

Posted on: December 2nd, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 12 Comments

Every day last week, your email inbox was filled with Black Friday and Cyber Monday notifications. But starting today and throughout the month, you’ll probably notice an influx of requests for charitable donations. 

This starts with tomorrow’s Giving Tuesday, a unified movement that: 

…unleashes the Power of Radical Generosity around the world. GivingTuesday reimagines a world built upon shared humanity and generosity.

Our global network collaborates year-round to inspire generosity around the world, with a common mission to build a world where generosity is part of everyday life.

Whether it’s making someone smile, helping a neighbor or stranger out, showing up for an issue or people we care about, or giving some of what we have to those who need our help, every act of generosity counts, and everyone has something to give.

The term “radical generosity” is defined as the concept that the suffering of others should be as intolerable to us as our own suffering. This may seem like an odd topic for an organizing blog, but I believe that organizing your efforts can allow radical generosity to reinvigorate the delight of giving.

 

THE UNIVERSALITY OF CHARITABLE GIVING

In Judaism, the concept of tikkun olam means “to repair the world,” and refers to the notion that people have a responsibility to improve the world through acts of kindness and social justice. Judaism also has the concept of tzedakah, commonly used to mean charity, but more fully is explained by the notion of making the world a more just place.

Though I am no expert on other faiths, I do know that charity is an important tenet throughout faith practices. In Christianity, it’s reflected in 2 Corinthians 9:7, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” Islam notes that the prophet Muhammad said, “Charity does not decrease wealth” to point out the value to the benefactor as well as to those who receive kindness.

In Hinduism, “There is none other who does greater good than the one who removes the hunger of those in a difficult situation, helpless, weak and disturbed.” And Sikhs believe in the concept of sewa, which means “selfless service,” helping others without expecting any reward or personal gain.

Of course, donating money (and goods) is not a concept specific to any one religion, or indeed any religion at all. Ideas such as charity and mutual aid (where a community shares and exchanges resources and services to help one other) can be found in every nation and at every income level. People make donations in their houses of worship and to their schools, to strangers on the street and to well-known non-profits.

Donating money (as well as volunteer time and skill) is a great way to model your values to your children and to others in your community. You could limit round-robin gift exchanges at work or among your extended family and work together to donate funds or effort to non-profits or causes that reflect your highest good.

So yes, thoughtful giving is good (and good for you), but the requests for giving can be overwhelming.

Just like how the clutter of too many possessions in a household can paralyze someone and prevent them from knowing what to do next, a mailbox or inbox cluttered with charitable donation requests can be problematic, particularly during the holiday season from Thanksgiving through the New Year, when everyone is focused on gratitude and lovingkindness.

But if you woke up to seventy-three charitable requests today, you might not be feeling very grateful, loving, or kind. I get it.

THE CHALLENGES OF CHARITABLE GIVING

There are a variety of obstacles people face when inundated with charitable requests.

Stress

  • Being inundated by a flood of donation appeals — Non-profits know that you’re in a giving mood (or are feeling pressured to be in a giving mood). People are accustomed to donating at the end of the year, whether for religious, social, or tax reasons, so the donation campaigns behind mailers and emails and social media requests are part of the design.
  • Pressure and guilt — It’s common to feel obligated to respond to every request with a donation or gift, even when it exceeds one’s budget or doesn’t align with one’s values. Nobody wants to feel selfish, but it’s important not to give more of yourself than you can afford.

Fears about security

  • Increases in frauds, hoaxes, and scams — Sometimes, “charitable” requests come from bad guys using guilt trips and names just similar enough to real charities that it’s common to worry about whether your gift will get to anyone except a thief’s pockets.
  • Validity of a charity — Even if a charity is “real,” even if it’s well-known, it doesn’t necessarily mean that a sizable portion of the funds raised will get to the expected recipients. Sometimes a shocking percentage of those donation funds go toward administration, chief executives, advertising, and anywhere but where you’d hope it would go.

Financial anxieties

  • Budget constraints and unrealistic goals — At this time of year, our wallets pulled in different directions, like taffy. You’re likely to want to earmark funds for holiday gifts, meals, and travel, on top of regular expenses, but it can be tough to find the Benjamins for donations. Being overly ambitious with our charitable giving leads to the same kind of anxiety as when we’re overly ambitious about gift-giving to friends and family. It feels good in December, but when our January bank and credit card statements arrive? Ouch!
  • Unplanned donations — There’s a reason you hear financial advisors talking about planned giving. Planning is organized, and when you are organized, you feel in control. When unexpectedly faced with an in-person appeal for a donation, the emotion of the experience combined with social pressure (on top of financial pressure) can prompt you to spend more than you can comfortably do.

Emotional kerfuffles

  • Family disagreements — You thought the political arguments at the Thanksgiving table were stressful? Imagine trying to come up with a plan for family giving when the members of the family are of two minds regarding who is “deserving” of family donations. If one person wants to give to the NRA and another to support of LGBTQ+ teens, but the funds need to come from one couple-owned or family-managed source, sparks may fly.
  • Decision fatigue — The sheer volume of need can be overwhelming. Everyone wants your money, and so many charities and worthy causes requesting donations, it’s often difficult to decide which ones to support.
  • Charitable burnout — People who donate regularly may feel resentful from the ever-increasing demands during the holiday season.
  • Compassion fatigue — Let’s face it. We’re human. Constant reminders of those who are hungry, abused or victimized, troubled, or struggling can become wearying, especially for those who already struggle with some of the harder emotions of the holiday season. While such requests often remind us to feel grateful for what we have, it’s not unusual to feel guilty for not feeling quite so grateful about our own struggles.

OVERWHELM COMES FROM LACK OF PRIORITIZING, PLANNING, AND ORGANIZATION

Over the past 23 years I’ve worked as a professional organizer, one of the constant holiday-time struggles my clients face is what to do about all of the charitable donation requests. Several years ago, I worked with a client on her backlog of important documents and papers. We were making great progress until I arrived one day to find her agitated. She admitted that she’d been “hiding” some papers because they were so stressful for her to think about.

In a room we’d never entered, there were desks, tables, chairs, and a bed, and a variety of other horizontal surfaces covered in envelopes — most of which had never been opened — all seeking donations! There were multiple years of requests! 

At first, this sweet woman had just given a few dollars to everyone who asked, but that just led to more and more requests. (I’m not saying that non-profits sell their mailing lists, but yes, some non-profits sell, or at least “rent” their mailing lists. It’s ethically questionable, so before you give, you may want to read a charity’s privacy policy regarding whether they will share donor information without prior consent.) 

The client and I started by eliminating all requests from prior giving seasons, then deleted duplicates (and triplicates). Then we developed a strategy that works for most people.

START WITH YOUR BUDGET

Just as some people prefer to say they are on an “eating plan” rather than a “diet,” feel free to think of this as a giving plan, rather than a budget. The idea is to set boundaries you can live with, as it makes no sense to donate so much to end hunger that you will be eating ramen noodles every day to make up for your economic shortfall!

Consider these factors:

  • How much can you reasonably afford to give? This requires first having a handle on all of your fixed and variable expenses.
  • Would you like to allocate a percentage of your monthly budget for donations? Do you prefer to tithe, set aside a fixed dollar amount per month, or pick some other percentage approach?
  • Do you prefer to give an annual gift or arrange monthly contributions?
  • If you choose monthly donations, do you want to donate to the same charity every month, or multiple charities but during different months?
  • Do you want to set aside extra money (in monthly petty cash) for unexpected, ad hoc requests by organizations or individuals? (You might choose to keep a stash of gift cards for grocery stores or restaurants to give to unhoused or struggling folks you come across, rather than giving cash, to prevent them from becoming victimized by thieves.)
  • Does your company offer an annual charitable donation match? If so, taking advantage can stretch your donation dollars!

FOLLOW THE MONEY

You will want to track your donations to make it easier to file your taxes and take all possible deductions. 

If you respond to mailed requests for donations, you can write a note on the donation letter, stating how much you donated, on what date, by what method (check number or which credit card). Put that in your tax prep folder for the current year. When/if you get an official letter from the charity thanking you for your donation, match it to the corresponding note and staple it.

If you tend to make donations online, be sure to print a copy of your receipt as a PDF (if you want to keep records electronically) and maintain a donation folder on your computer or in your cloud storage. (You could also print receipts on paper and put them in your tax prep folder; just don’t double-count donations that appear in digital and print form.)

Of course, you can also use financial apps, budgeting software, or spreadsheets to track your charitable contributions. The more money you donate, or the more complex and numerous your donations, the more cautious you will want to be to keep these records for tax purposes. But tracking your donations is about more than just taxes. 

In the heyday of magazines, as soon as you’d renew a subscription, you’d start getting reminders to renew again. The more subscriptions, the harder it would be to realize you were being prompted so often that you were subscribing more than once every twelve months. Well, with charities it can be much the same thing. Keep a written record of when you’ve donated to make sure you’re not donating more often than you planned.

CHOOSE YOUR CHARITIES, DON’T LET THEM CHOOSE YOU

Professional organizers often talk with clients about the dangerous power of advertising and in-store displays. We can be going along, thinking we’re doing great with our spending plans and then all-of-a-sudden we are sucker-punched by an enticing commercial or a product display. We didn’t plan to buy it. We didn’t need it. But oops, we got it.

Those donation emails and envelopes may as well be shouting: “This offer is available for a limited time only. Operators are standing by!” but the truth is that non-profits are always in need of money. You may get dozens of requests for donations in December, but your contributions will be no less valuable, life-saving, or appreciated if sent three or six months down the line. Unless you have a very specific need for making a very specific dollar amount of donations before the end of the calendar year, don’t let yourself feel pressured.

Decide on your giving goals in advance. Make this a giving plan.

Prioritize Your Values First

When you try to downsize a closet on your own, you might pick up one article of clothing and ask yourself “keep or set free?” (whether “set free” means toss or consign or donate or use as a rag). A straight-up yes/no choice can be difficult. But if a professional organizer asks you to first pick your ten favorite pieces from your closet and set them aside, it will be much easier to start evaluating your less-loved pieces.

Similarly, if you’re facing a mountain of charitable giving requests, choosing yes or no may feel like you are saving or damning the recipients of each non-profit. No wonder you’re stressed!

So, start by prioritizing the causes that align most closely with your values. For example, those might be:

  • education
  • the arts
  • health/medical
  • hunger
  • animals
  • children
  • the environment
  • faith communities
  • disaster relief
  • international relief
  • social causes
  • political causes
  • at-risk communities
  • marginalized communities

Once you’ve identified a general cause area that matters to you, you can narrow your focus. You can determine whether you want to donate locally to keep funds in your community or donate to a national effort with a more powerful network of resources.

Research Potential Charities

You do not have to reinvent the wheel. There are some excellent resources for evaluating non-profits and explaining how they rank on transparency, impact, and mission alignment. Consider:

Charity Navigator

Charity Navigator has been around for almost 25 years, and has rated 225,000 charities. Their ratings focus on the “cost-effectiveness and overall health of a charity’s programs, including measures of stability, efficiency, and sustainability.”

 

GuideStar

Candid’s GuideStar focuses on non-profits in the United States. Search to verify a charity’s legitimacy, learn whether contribution will be tax deductible, view up to three years of a non-profit’s IRS Form 990, read revenue and expense data for the current fiscal year, and learn about a charity’s CEO, Board Chair, and Board of Directors.

 

BBB Wise Giving Alliance

Give.org, the Better Business Bureau’s Wise Giving Alliance, generates reports that address all of the issues a donor might want to consider, including governance, finances, results reporting, transparency, and appeal accuracy

 

Charity Watch

Charity Watch, originally founded in 1992 as the American Institute of Philanthropy (AIP) claims to be the only independent charity watchdog in the United States. Charity watch notes that they “dive deep into charity audited financial statements, tax filings, state solicitation filings, and other information so we can let you know how efficiently a charity will use your donations to fund the programs you want to support. CharityWatch exposes nonprofit abuses and advocates for your interests as a donor.”

 

GiveWell

Rather than focuses only on financials, GiveWell conducts “in-depth research to determine how much good a given program accomplishes (in terms of lives saved, lives improved, etc.) per dollar spent.” 

If you decide you want to focus on local charities, you’ll need to do more of your own legwork. For example, if you want to support a local shelter, food bank, or other community initiative, read the website, research who sits on the board of directors, and see where local news media has covered the impact of these charities.

Concentrate on local efforts that focus on long-term community solutions and have a record of efficient use of funds and a history of measurable results. 

DEVELOP A DONATION STRATEGY

Once you know which causes are meaningful to you, you can delete or discard donation requests from causes that aren’t high on your list of values.

Yes, really.

Charitable causes are important, but not all causes have to be equally important to you, just as they need not be equally important to all individuals. You get to pick what you value.

Once you identify the causes you value, you can research the specific charities in each.

Let’s say eliminating hunger is important to you. It’s possible you’ll get requests from Feeding America (a nationwide network of more than 200 food banks), the World Food Programme (an international organization within the United Nations that provides food assistance worldwide), No Kid Hungry (providing grants to schools and partners to end child hunger), Meals on Wheels (working to end hunger and loneliness among the elderly), etc. 

  • Collect all the requests that come in via mail or email in a “holding area” until you’re ready to research them.
  • Research the charities to see which appeal to you the most.
  • Decide the number of charities to which you will give.
  • Pick the frequency of your donations: one time or recurring?
  • Divide your giving budget by the number of donations.
  • Donate in a way that works for you.
  • Record and track your donations for tax purposes. (Save receipts and acknowledgment letters in your paper or digital files)
  • Evaluate amounts and charities annually.

For example, might decide to give to one national charity, once per year, in an amount that feels generous to you. Conversely, you might pick four of these charities and give once per quarter.

Alternatively, you could set up a monthly payment to one (or more charities) on your credit card, but you’ll want to revisit that plan annually to make sure the charity still fits your values.

Or, this process of reviewing your values may make you turn your attention to local concerns. You could still give small donations to one or more of the charities that fits you criteria, but then you could contact a local elementary school and offer to pay all outstanding meal fees. In many school districts, children whose families are behind on their lunch fees are unable to get hot lunches and are given cold lunches that make them a target of bullying. In other districts, they simply get no lunch at all. Hungry children cannot learn.

You could pick an amount to pay toward students’ outstanding lunch debt each month, or pool resources with your colleagues or neighbors to pay off those debts once or twice per year.

This is merely one example. You can make lots of donations in December to lots of charities, and then skip the rest of the year. You can pick twelve charities and give equal amounts, one per month, all year, and revisit the charities you’ll choose each year. Or you can mix-and-match local and national donations as you see fit.

The key is to mindfully research, plan, and track your giving so that it allows you to feel generous (and lucky to be able to help) rather than overwhelmed by charitable request clutter and anxious about the entire experience.

LIMIT DONATION ANXIETY

Creating a giving plan and sticking to it (at least for one year) will allow you to eliminate the excess requests before they pile up, but there are additional things you can to do keep from feeling like a Grinch.

Limit the solicitations that come your way.

If you are getting too much donation request mail or email — which, again, is really just (earnest) advertising, it’s OK to click to unsubscribe from the email or call to opt-out of the mailing lists. 

Alternatively, you can use a dedicated email address (like PaperDollDonations@gmail.com) whenever you make donations. That way, you only need to check that address when you’re looking for donation confirmations for tax purposes, or when you’re in the mood to actually look at the plethora of mail sent your way. But it never has to hit your main inbox.

Let Go of the Guilt

Just because you receive address labels does not obligate you to make a donation to a charity, just as receiving a holiday card from a distant acquaintance does not obligate you add the individual to your card list. Don’t let them turn advertising techniques into a free ticket on the Guilt Trip Express. Use your brain — then give from the heart.

Learn to say “No” gracefully. Just as you cannot keep everything you ever bought or were gifted, you cannot donate to ever cause that asks.

To increase your comfort with saying no, prepare a mental (or written) script for declining requests. 

Remind yourself (and if you wish, explain to others) that you have a planned giving strategy. You have organized your giving to ensure that your efforts are mindful and value-driven. You can, if you wish, give an ad hoc donation, but you can also just say you’ll be happy (if you will be) to consider a donation in your next giving cycle in 2026.

Finally, remember that you need not always give money. Donating your possessions, time, and service to non-profits can be even more valuable than the amount of money you could afford to donate.

Speaking of volunteering, we are sometimes asked to donate our time and effort to worthy causes at the holidays when our schedules least allow us to help. (Also, many popular volunteering activities, like serving meals at shelters, are booked quickly during the holidays.) But guess what? Shelters and food kitchens need volunteers year-round! Just as money is needed just as much on July 25th as on December 25th, our support of our neighbors, in our schools, in faith communities, and in standing up for others is always needed, no matter the season.

Happy Giving Tuesday (and Giving Season). Intentional and organized giving is rewarding. Build a sustainable, organized habit of giving and you will feel more in control of your finances, less stymied by paper and digital clutter, and less likely to feel burned out.

Keep the spirit of giving alive in a way that uplifts you.

Whoopsie! What To Do When Your Week Doesn’t Go As Planned

Posted on: November 25th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 16 Comments

This isn’t the post I planned to write today.

And last week’s post never got written. In fact, last week did not go as planned at all. It went BOOM!

VERTIGO, BUT WITHOUT JIMMY STEWART

It all started last Sunday evening. I was chatting on the phone with a friend and getting ready to start writing a post for Janet Barclay’s excellent monthly Organizing and Productivity Blog Carnival. Usually I submit a post from the Paper Doll vault, but this time I wanted to write a new post, specifically for the carnival. (We’ll get to that later.)

As my friend and I were talking, I sat on the edge of the bed and then lay down to stretch my back. Immediately, I was overcome with a powerful sense of vertigo — not mere dizziness, or as though the room were spinning, but as though I weighed tons and was going to go barreling through the Earth. While it was not the worst I’ve felt in my entire life, it would rank in the top three.

Publicity Poster from Alfred Hitchcock’s 1958 Vertigo

I’ve had benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) twice before, and both times it was quickly dispatched by a seemingly magical series of movements called the Epley Maneuver. I’ve seen it be such a freaking miracle that I’m a typical explanatory video in this post. (Think of it as organizing for the inner ear!)

 

Unfortunately, this time, Epley let me down.

The next six hours seemed to pass like jump-takes in a movie. It was 6:35 p.m. and I was on the phone with Paper Mommy. The next thing I knew, it was almost an hour later. And then another hour. My insurance company has Teladoc built-in, and I’d previously registered, so I used the app to reach a physician for a video consult. 

As a professional organizer, here’s how I thought it should work: I register for everything in advance (which I had). I click the button and provide my reason for seeking an appointment (which I did). And then I’d be connected with a medical professional.

Nope.

Although I registered for Teladoc when it first became available, I still had to try to type/dictate my medical history, all while lying flat on the floor and spinning. And I had to provide the address and phone number of my pharmacy…which was written on my prescription bottles…in the other room. (Crawling was agonizing. Have you ever seen someone try to do the backstroke on plush carpet? It was not pretty.)

After all that, I got a message saying someone would be with me within ten minutes. Then a message saying that {name redacted} was reading my file. Then a message saying, “Oops, sorry, we’ve canceled your video appointment. If you still need help, please try to schedule another Teladoc appointment.” Seriously?! 

As I went through the entire process again, I noted the clock on my phone. I’d have sworn only minutes had passed, but almost another hour had gone by.

I’ll spare you readers the sordid medical details, but by the time I finally spoke to a Teladoc physician, I was instructed to call 911. When I asked why, the response was troubling enough that I only asked if someone could just take me to the ER.

I live upstairs. The prospects of having to go downstairs by myself to let first responders in or having them break down my door were equally unpleasant. Instead, I called my local bestie, Jen, to see if her husband could stay with her kids, and she immediately headed over to take me to the emergency room. 

Moms know everything! She arrived with all sorts of Mom Emergency Paraphernalia, including an old-fashioned ice pack. 

N/A

While waiting for the Teladoc appointment, I’d voice-texted to tell my Jen what was going on, and I said that the symptoms were giving me a panic attack. She said that if I could get to the freezer, to grab an ice pack and hold it against my chest. (I briefly recalled that I’d seen a TikTok explaining that if you were with someone having a panic attack, you should grab a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer and hand it to them. The cold apparently short-circuits the symptoms of a panic attack.) 

Although the panic was secondary to the rollicking vertigo and related symptoms, Paper Doll offers a full-service blog atmosphere, so may I also share this advice from Valera Health’s Mastering the Art of Panic Attack Prevention: From Panic to Peace (bolded emphasis is mine):

The keywords here are ice and sweets. If you’re able to, grab a cold washcloth, water bottle or ice cube and rub it on your face. Panic attacks can induce hot flashes so cold stimuli may help you to cool down and calm down, which in turn can shorten panic attacks and make them more bearable. Another way to try this type of sensory grounding is to quickly dunk your head or face under cold water (make sure the water isn’t too freezing first!). 

Some people prefer to do the “sour candy trick” instead by sucking on a super sour candy when feeling panicked. The tart taste helps with refocusing and shifting attention away from the symptoms of a panic attack. If you’re prone to panic attacks, we recommend carrying sour candy around whenever you’re out and about so you always have them handy, just in case.

Petite Jen somehow managed to get my moaning, weaving self to her car, strap me in (with the ice pack on my chest), and take me to the closest emergency room. Several hours, three nurses, one doctor, seven medications, and an insurance robot later, I was home and feeling only one-third as bad. I got three prescriptions to fill, and the next day, my own physician added yet another, the combination of which had me sleeping about 15-18 hours of every day last week.

Basically, with the exception of getting out of bed to eat, I was useless for all but a few hours last week. And that’s actually what this post is about: what to do when, through no fault of your own, your week blows up!

COPING AFTER AN EMERGENCY IS DIFFERENT FROM DEALING WITH AN EMERGENCY

Over the years, I’ve written numerous posts about what to do in case of all kinds of emergencies, some dating back 15 years:

Paper Doll Organizes You To Prepare for an Emergency — This covers creating an emergency plan and emergency kit, what to rescue, and how to stay informed in times of natural or civil disasters.

Paper Doll’s 10-Minute Tasks to Make Difficult Moments Easier — This post is chock-full of tiny tasks for making bad situations run more smoothly. As I often say, being organized can’t prevent all catastrophes, but it can help make them less catastrophic.

Being organized can't prevent all catastrophes, but it can help make them less catastrophic. Share on X

Cross-Training for Families: Organize for All Eventualities — Not everyone has backup, but if you have family, it’s important to make sure that each grownup has a working knowledge of the other grownup’s sphere of influence. This post will help you capture and cross-train for those tasks.

Organize to Help First Responders: The Vial Of Life and Organize To Help First Responders: The Yellow Dot Program — Both of these posts include guidance for gathering essential medical information and making sure it’s available to the experts who can help you in case of a medical emergency.

Vital Signs: Organizing For A Medical Emergency, Part 1 and Vital Signs: Gathering Information During/After A Medical Emergency–Part 2 — These ancient posts do just what it says on the tin!

Organize to Prevent (or Recover From) a Car Theft — While this post reviews how to protect yourself from thieves, the advice on how to seek support and take action in the immediate aftermath is helpful for dealing with all kinds of unexpected emergencies.

MAKING SENSE IN THE AFTERMATH OF AN EMERGENCY

Once the emergency, itself, is over, you’re left mopping up the mess. Dealing with the aftermath of a natural disaster or a medical situation is usually more problematic than coping with your schedule, but eventually, you’re going to have to turn your eyes to the smoking piles of debris that used to be your carefully planned schedule. 

You may not be able to do much right away. I collapsed into bed as soon as I got home from the ER. Though the meds they’d given me had me sleepy while there, my brain was spinning almost as much as the room had been. I had SO MUCH planned for the week prior to Thanksgiving. How would I get back on track?

The following are some of the concepts I put into practice. Whether you have a family emergency or just something that keeps you down for the count, these ideas should be useful until you can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Assess the Damage 

Whether you’ve taken to your bed with the flu or a tree has toppled across your driveway (as happened to so many after this hurricane season), you can’t take action right away. But when you do have a sane, cogent moment to breathe, grab your calendar and your To Do list, and either a pad and pen or a blank Word doc or Evernote note.

Don’t be listless! Take a moment to list everything in your schedule that was disrupted (or will be disrupted). 

That first morning was a Monday. Normally I would have completed the weekly Paper Doll post on Sunday night and spent the day doing marketing tasks, sharing my post and those of my organizing colleagues. Again, I hadn’t written the post, which I’d intended to submit to the blog carnival, but even if I had, dragging myself to the computer and lifting my head to the screen was a non-starter. But the world wasn’t going to end because my post hadn’t shown up in someone’s mailbox or social media feed.

Later that day, I had an appointment to get my hair cut, and had blocked time to prepare for guesting on Frank Buck’s Get Organized! podcast on Tuesday. 

Tuesday’s schedule included the podcast recording, a first-time physical therapy appointment, a two-hour co-writing session, and two webinars I’d planned to attend.

As the week went on, I had client sessions, prospect consultations, and the variety of life activities (bill-paying, shopping, preparing for this week’s Thanksgiving adventures) that everyone has.

In addition, I had to figure out how (when the world was still spinning, though at a slightly less malevolent pace) to get my prescriptions filled and talk to my own physician regarding some things I suspected I’d need beyond what the ER had advised.

When I floated up into consciousness on Monday, at least I knew what was on my plate.

Prioritize Key Activities

In Use the Rule of 3 to Improve Your Productivity (which I invite you to read and embrace with all your heart and soul and calendar), I reviewed all the ways to manage your schedule and To Do list to keep life from getting in the way. But, as with my week last week, sometimes life is a giant elephant and you have no choice but to let it get in the way.

In that post (and further, near the end of Paper Doll Shares Presidential Wisdom on Productivity) I explained that when you’re overwhelmed, a great way to prioritize what you have to get done (and how and when to do it) is the Eisenhower Decision Matrix.

The Eisenhower Matrix gives you the opportunity to graph each task from your brain-dumped list to identify where it falls along a continuum of importance and urgency.

In a typical week of my schedule, what’s important is anything that brings in money, protects from “danger” (whether that’s a late fee or something more problematic), or directly impacts someone else. What’s urgent is anything that is time-specific in the short-term. 

Identify What to Do, Decide (and Delay), Delegate, or Delete

Do

As I looked at the tasks, I realized that while my hair cut was not important, it was urgent to cancel so that my stylist would not be inconvenienced by a no-show. The podcast recording on Tuesday would have been both important (to me and to Frank) and urgent. And I had to arrange to get my prescriptions filled, as it turned out that one medication required me to be present at the pharmacy; it couldn’t be filled in absentia.

I sent two texts (to my stylist and to Frank) and arranged to get my prescriptions filled.

Decide

At this point, my wobbly brain decided that I could delay considering anything else until after more sleep. I didn’t know if I’d be able to go to my physical therapy appointment on Tuesday or my client on Wednesday, but I let that be Tuesday Julie’s responsibility. I crawled back in bed.

Delegate

I didn’t really have anything to delegate. I did, however, let my friend and colleague Hazel Thornton know what was going on in case I did not show up to our Tuesday co-writing session or a regularly scheduled Friday night Zoom.

I get it. Delegating is hard. Sometimes, it involves asking for a favor, and most of us are loathe to presume upon others or to seem as though we aren’t operating at 100%.

But delegating — whether it involves asking a friend to take you to the emergency room or trusting your spouse to take care of family responsibilities even if they won’t get done the way you would do them or giving the nod to an employee to handle something you would normally do yourself — is essential.

We can’t do everything. Even if we could, we shouldn’t. Leaning on others — respectfully — strengthens all of our human bonds.

This is my friend Jen, who rescued me. We’re afternoon tea buddies.

Sometime in the mid-1970s, I had a big event happening in third grade. I think I was giving a presentation, or maybe getting an award. Parents were going to be in attendance. But when I woke up that morning, my father told me that Paper Mommy had fallen and cracked her ribs during the night and would not be coming to school. I’m not sure how she managed it in those scant daylight moments before I woke up, but Paper Mommy had already arranged for my sister (eleven years my senior and attending college locally, living in the dorms) to be my plus-one at this event.

If she could have been there, she would have. That’s how Paper Mommy rolls. But she made sure that my eight-year-old self felt loved and valued without schlepping her wounded self to a ridiculous elementary school event. My sister rocked it!

Delete

My plan had originally been to write last week’s post about children’s books on organizing and productivity, and I would have included a link to Paper Doll Interviews Melissa Gratias, Author of Seraphina Does Everything! and talked about both my favorite books in these categories, as well as a few surprises from my childhood bookshelf.

I forgave myself for not writing the post and deleted it from my sense of self-obligation. By the time I left the emergency room, I told myself I could just submit some other post I’d previously written about organizing and productivity books.

For example, I could have submitted Paper Doll Presents 4 Stellar Organizing & Productivity Resources, which referenced Hazel’s What’s a Photo Without the Story? How to Create Your Family Legacy and reviewed her Go With the Flow! The Clutter Flow Chart Workbook.

That post also reviewed Kara Cutruzzula’s Do It Today: An Encouragement Journal, and Ellen Faye‘s Productivity for How You’re Wired: Better Work. Better Life.

I could have submitted Paper Doll Introduces 5 New and Noteworthy Books By Professional Organizers, which reviewed:

I could even have have bent the rules and submitted a link to the Book page at Best Results Organizing where I list my favorite organizing and productivity books.

Sigh. 

But in the end, I slept through most of the ensuing days and missed the deadline to submit anything at all (likely disappointing nobody but myself). And sometimes, just as we have to tell ourselves that it’s OK to delegate, we have to accept that it’s OK to delete things from our task list.

Although I bowed out of Janet’s The Best Organizing and Productivity Books – Productivity & Organizing Blog Carnival, twelve of my colleagues had great submissions, and I hope you’ll read them. And Sabrina Quairoli wrote a post called Children’s Books About Organizing Their Lives! Although it’s different from what I would have written (or may still eventually write), knowing that topic is out there in the world made it easier to delete this from my list.

Create a Realistic Recovery Plan

Before I was a professional organizer, I was a television program director. Partially because of my Type A personality and partially because the television industry eats people and spits them out, being realistic about what you could get done in a day wasn’t actually realistic. 

We were expected to be able to do everything, at any moment. After two days out with the flu, I once almost passed out in the hall and ended up just working on the cold floor where there was nowhere to fall.

That’s wackadoodle.

Nowadays, I teach clients to break down their tasks into manageable steps and schedule them across the upcoming days or weeks to avoid overwhelm.

When your week has been blown to smithereens, you absolutely have to be realistic. Sometimes (OK, often), that means being prepared to change direction more than once. When Tuesday hit, I felt worse (until my doctor called in that additional prescription). I revisited everything on my list, and applied the Eisenhower Decision Matrix again.

I decided to not do anything on Tuesday beyond rescheduling that physical therapy appointment to the end of the week and canceling client sessions. Y’know what? The nice physical therapist was glad I was taking care of myself, and rebooked me without a fee. My sweet Wednesday client was soothingly concerned and called to see if her adult daughter could bring me any groceries when she’d be in my neighborhood.

Everything that I tell my clients — that it’s OK to stop and take care of yourself, and that people will generally understand — was true.

Remember to Communicate

Once you evaluate your priorities and figure out what you have to delay, delegate, or delete, make sure you communicate the essentials to the people who can make your life easier, as long as they know what’s going on. That may be family members, friends, colleagues, or team members.

Set realistic expectations, ask for help where and when you can, and just keep them updated on delays. At some point later, you’ll want to renegotiate deadlines, but until you’re feeling clear-headed and calm, you won’t really know what will fit where on your calendar.

Be Flexible with Replacement Dates

Whatever “whoopsie” of a week you’re trying to recover from, it won’t help to triple-stack the next week. Don’t try to overcompensate and “make up for lost time” — you’ll burn out.

Just as we always discuss when talking about time blocking, set aside blocks of unscheduled time in future weeks to catch up. But don’t fill every block of time. You need buffer time and breathing space.

Reflect On What You Might Do Differently Next Time

We always learn more from our mistakes and kerfuffles than we do from our successes. If your week gets blown up by an unanticipated event, use it as a learning experience.

Block a little time on your schedule for the next week to evaluate how you handled the disruption. Consider what kinds of changes, contingency plans, emergency backup, etc., you might put in place to make next time (and there’s always some kind of “next time”) into a softer landing.

Give Yourself Grace

Julie circa 1999 would have tried to show up for work the next day, and attempting to barrel through every task, even while dizzily wobbling into colleagues and walls and copy machines.

Julie circa 2024 made sure that nobody was left in the dark, didn’t over-apologize, and got about 18 hours of sleep each day for most of a week. And everything turned out fine.

Appreciate Normal Weeks

When my sister was in college, she had a poster of the poem Normal Day by Mary Jean Irion, founder of the Writers’ Center at Chautauqua Institution. Eleven years later, I rescued it from the basement and put it up in my own dorm room. I hope it will help you appreciate the weeks where, even when nothing goes perfectly, it’s all mostly OK.

Readers, I hope you all have a safe, healthy, and happy Thanksgiving!

Organize Your Sleep When the Clocks Change and Beyond

Posted on: November 4th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 14 Comments

Are you feeling wonky? If you live in North America, you turned your clocks back (or let all your digital ones do it themselves) over the weekend. (If you live in the UK, you did it a week ago. I don’t know what’s up with that, but you may still be feeling wonky.)

Although most of the negative effects of time change happen when we are springing forward to begin Daylight Saving Time, falling back to end it can still leave people struggling to wake up and feeling out of sorts for a few days, leading to some bumps in productivity.

So, if you’re feeling a little rough, don’t worry. Today’s post offers some gentle tips for feeling a little more at ease when the time on the clock and the time inside your head don’t feel friendly toward one another.

HELP YOUR BODY ADJUST TO THE TIME CHANGE

Whether you’re dealing with the time change in the spring or fall, the best way to adjust is always to shift your schedule gradually. 

Unless you’re the kind of person who misses all the reminders about the clock change and shows up an hour late (or early) to Sunday brunch, or worse, for work on Monday, you have advanced warning. When the time change is on the horizon, adjust your bedtime and waking time by ten or fifteen minutes each night for several days prior. (Make a note on your calendar to start this at the beginning of March; Daylight Saving Time starts on March 9, 2025! I’m already counting down.)

This kind of incremental approach is supposed to give your body the time to adapt. Of course, we’ve just changed the clocks, so that option is out. Still, consider the following steps for helping your body adapt to the time shift. You’ll find that these steps are generally the same ones for attaining recuperative sleep, overall.

Be the Early Bird and Get Morning Sunlight Exposure 

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m terrible at mornings. I’d happily take a flight or attend a Zoom at 3 a.m. before going to sleep, but I’d be hopeless doing the same things at 7 a.m. Early morning sunlight makes me growl. However, my science-y pals swear that natural light will help reset our internal clocks.

The research on circadian rhythms says that cycles of sunlight and nighttime darkness keep our bodies synchronized with our environment and signal our “circadian pacemakers.” This pacemaker is particularly sensitive to light in the morning and the evening, so evening light (such as we have all summer) causes a phase delay, so we don’t get tired until later and then we wake up later. Conversely, when we are exposed to bright sunlight in the morning, it causes a “phase advance,” and we start getting sleepy earlier and awaken earlier.

Sunrise Coffee Photo by Taryn Elliott

So, exposure to sunlight signals your body that it’s time to wake up; just some light permeating through your eyelids will have some kid of wakey-wakey-eggs-and-bacon-y effect. So, actually spending twenty minutes outside in the morning will help you feel less sluggish.

If the temperature allows it, take your breakfast out onto your back patio or balcony; you can enjoy your morning coffee on your front step, but if you amble out in your jammies, at least make sure you’re properly covered up as the school bus goes by. 

Improve and Optimize Your Sleep Environment

We hear it all the time: it’s important to set a consistent sleep routine.

If you’ve been living the life of a college student (or a new parent) and are all out of whack (and this has been compounded by the end of Daylight Saving Time), be patient with yourself. Know that your body will need time to adjust to whatever changes you make, but sticking to a regular bedtime and wake-up schedule (sigh, even on weekends) will improve your odds of getting better quality sleep and more of it.

Research shows that your sleep experience will improve if you consistently do the following: 

  • Keep your bedroom dark. Close your blinds or curtains. If you have old-style horizontal Venetian blinds, you may find they let in too much light. If so, try twisting them “backward” such that the curved portion faces outward. Alternatives are the more modern, wider, vertical blinds or roller shades in darker colors.

Another great option is a blackout curtain, which is designed to eliminate as much natural light as possible. Note that the longer the curtain extends from the bottom of the window toward the floor, the less light will seep out.

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If there’s a curtain gap (which always seems to happen when you’re staying in a hotel), try pinching the curtains together with clothespins or the clips of a skirt hanger.

Admittedly, if you block out all natural light, you won’t be awakened by the brightness and warmth of the sun. This increases both the importance of getting into the sunlight once you DO wake up and also necessitates a less natural method for shaking yourself out of slumber. For the latter, check out Do (Not) Be Alarmed: Paper Doll’s Wake-Up Advice for Productivity for tips on heeding that wakeup call.

Don’t forget about tiny unnatural lights. So many digital devices blink or glow. My smoke alarm has a blinking green light. Routers and DVRs and all sorts of devices have blueish glows.

In my bedroom, I have an old-fashioned Caller ID box (connected to an old-school, weighty corded landline). It blinks. Incessantly. Every time I have a message, the red light starts blinking again. Listening to the voicemail message and deleting it has no impact; I must manually clear the Caller ID box. (Sigh. It’s a tradeoff. I love the large handset of this ancient phone, but it has no caller ID. The box serves its purpose of letting me know if the inbound call is from a delightful soul or yet another robocall about my auto warranty. But that red blinking light!)   

If you’ve got bright or blinking LED lights on gadgets in your sleeping area (either at home or when traveling), consider getting a sheet of removable, adhesive blackout stickers to stem the indoor light pollution. 

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In addition to adjusting your lighting while you’re sleeping, train your body to sense the cycle of day and night by dimming your household lights as bedtime approaches. Experts say that lowering the lights helps signal your body that it’s time to wind down. Think about how you can gradually reduce your exposure to artificial lighting in the evening (without risking bumping into the furniture).  

  • Create a quiet environment. Quiet doesn’t necessarily mean silent. I prefer a combination of white noise: my central HVAC fan is turned to on (instead of auto, so I’m not constantly jarred by that thunk of it turning off) and my Rain, Rain thunderstorm app as I described in 11 Ways To Organize Your Focus With Ambient Noise. (Sometimes, what you want to focus on most is being blissfully unconscious.)

“Quiet” doesn’t only include your sleeping space, but also your mental space. Limit cognitively or emotionally intense activities before bed. Have you ever played a video game before bedtime and then found that your brain continues playing the moves in your head when you close your eyes? If you’ve spent hours reviewing a spreadsheet pre-jammy time, you might see those columns and rows and be unable to turn off your in-brain Excel.

For a few hours before bed, limit any activities that are emotionally stressful or require a high level of concentration. The goal is to avoid keeping your mind too active before bed, as that will make it harder to find your personal Sandman.

  • Maintain some chill. The experts estimate that the best temperature for sleeping is between 60° and 67°F. Obviously, if you’re shivering, it’s going to keep you awake, but experiment lowering the ambient temperature combined with your preferred number of blankets. If you’re a “hot sleeper” or are at a period in your life when you’re experiencing hot flashes — let’s call them power surges — consider cooling pillows and bedding. 
  • Keep your bedroom organized. Yes, your eyes are closed once you’re asleep, but a cluttered room presents a few obstacles to falling asleep easily, or falling back asleep after a trip to the bathroom or to check on a tiny human.

I teach my clients that “the bedroom is for sleep, rest, and intimacy.” If your bed, nightstand, and floor are covered with children’s toys, you will be distracted from all three of those purposes, and you’re more likely to step on a piece of LEGO and wail in pain, keeping you from falling back asleep and your partner from sleeping soundly.

The bedroom is for sleep, rest, and intimacy. If your bed, nightstand, and floor are covered with children's toys or office work, you will be distracted from all three purposes. Share on X

If your computer is open next to your bed, or your work desk lives in the bedroom, or your credit card bills are piled near where you sleep, the chance of disturbed sleep is higher because those items will subconsciously cue your brain to fret over them when you’re trying to fall asleep.

Declutter your bedroom so that the floor around your bed is free of tripping hazards, and so the only things visible are those that are functional or soothing. I know, it’s easier said than done, but even taking a few moments to tidy your space (and training yourself and others not to bring non-bedroom-y things into your room in the first place) will have a positive effect.

Don’t be Blue!

As we talked about in Celebrate the Global Day of Unplugging, screens (computer, phone, tablet, or TV) and particularly the blue lights of screens from your devices, can interfere with your body’s ability to produce melatonin.

Find alternatives to screens in the bedroom, and consider different pre-sleep habits that don’t involve screens. You could journal, read a tangible book, do simple stretches while listening to soothing music, memorize a poem, or practice an uncomplicated craft. Define “uncomplicated” as you choose, but needlework that doesn’t require bright task lighting is going to be better than a craft that involves scissors, glue, and (eek!) glitter.

Don’t Do the Dew — and Limit the Moonshine, Too!

You may not think that one more fizzy beverage or cup of coffee will make a big deal, but a 12-ounce cup of Mountain Dew contains around 54 milligrams of caffeine. (An eight-ounce cup of coffee has 95 milligrams of caffeine!)

Caffeine can stay in your system for hours and have a detrimental effect on your sleep, so experts suggest avoiding it after mid-afternoon. (Yeah, I know this one is a toughie. What’s a diet Coke without the oomph of caffeine?) Remember, the goal is to relax your body so that you’ll sleep well and have natural energy for work or school the next day.

The experts similarly encourage people to limit drinking alcohol in the pre-sleep hours. One might aassume alcohol encourages relaxation, but it actually disrupts the sleep cycle, making sleep less restorative. For those who choose to imbibe, know that doing so earlier in the evening will minimize the negative impact on sleep. 

Watch Out for Midnight Snacks

Experts encourage us to avoid heavy meals or snacks in the late evening. Larger meals closer to bedtime can take longer to digest and disrupt sleep.

However, if you’re hungry, that may also make it hard to fall asleep. Personally, I find that a small protein-packed snack and a tiny bit of carbs (like a handful of almonds or a few cheese and crackers stacks) helps my body find dreamland. Experiment to find what works for you.

Watch Your Daytime Habits

We tend to think of our pre-bed activities as the key to falling asleep, but getting our full eight (or more) hours requires a bevy of other self-care habits.

  • Participate in an active lifestyle — This doesn’t mean you have to train for the Olympics or spend every day at the gym. But physical activity helps you sleep better.

Consider a yoga, tai chi, or qigong regimen in the evenings as shown in the following videos, or go for an early morning walk (with the bonus of getting morning sunlight).

Bedtime Yoga with Adrienne

 

5 Minute Tai Chi Flow for a Restful Night’s Sleep

 

Qigong for Sleep with Nick Loffree

 

If you are already active, just remember to avoid vigorous exercise close to bedtime, as it can be too stimulating, making it harder to fall sleep.

  • Learn how to relax — It’s hard to conk out when our brains are focused on what’s stressing us out. However, even when we’ve cut down our mental focus on stressors, our bodies tattle on us. We hold stress in our muscles and joints.

In addition to practicing the physical relaxation techniques described in the above videos, find ways to mentally relax as you approach bedtime. Maybe you’re good at meditating — I’m not — but there are so many other options, too. Learn deep breathing exercises, journal, or take a warm bath before heading to bed. Do whatever you can, both throughout the day and as sleepy time approaches, to progressively relax your mind as well as your body.

  • Hydrate throughout the day — We live in a hydration nation. Everyone seems to have a giant water bottle named Stanley. Being well-hydrated prevents fatigue, which helps maintain overall energy levels so you can avoid late-day napping, stay active, and adapt not just to the time change but to unexpected changes in your schedule.

An Occupational Health and Safety Administration (OSHA) report, The Cognitive Effects of Proper Hydration, spells out the key benefits of staying hydrated, including improved focus and short-term encoding of memories, better long-term memory recall, and improved critical thinking skills.

Additionally, research shows that “low water consumption tends to lead to worse moods, as well as headaches, confusion, and tiredness” and better hydration makes people feel calmer and in better moods. The steadier your mood, the more likely you’ll be relaxed enough to sleep well at night.

However, slow your hydration pace as you approach bedtime so you can minimize disruptions to your sleep. (If you wake up for a bathroom break, you’ll almost certainly never get back to that steamy dream with Jason Momoa.)

Don’t stop hydrating altogether, though. Our brain tissues have no way of storing water, and our waking brains need some hydration at least every two hours to function optimally. Drink water upon awakening to help you start your day.

  • Watch out for naps — If you’ve had a rough night, a nap can help you recover, but keep it brief, to no more than 20 to 30 minutes.

Additionally, avoid napping late in the day (so, no pre-dinner snoozing), as it can interfere with your ability to fall and stay asleep at night. (If you’re feeling draggy, try drinking some cold water to pep you up!)

Instead, trying following one of the international approaches to early afternoon napping and recuperative resting that I outlined in Take a Break for Productivity — The International Perspective.

Additionally, the Mayo Clinic has some good advice for taking naps effectively in Napping: Do’s and Don’ts for Healthy Adults, and the book Take a Nap! Change Your Life. purports to change the reputation of naps for the better and help people improve their health through the right methods of napping. (You could always listen to the audiobook; worst case scenario, it’ll put you to sleep!)

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Make Waking Up in the Morning More Appealing

For some of us, no matter how hard it is to fall asleep, we can’t bear to get out of our cozy beds.  Consider organizing your resources so that whatever you have to face in the morning is desirable. Here are a few ideas:

  • A pleasant alarm — that seems like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? — that gently wakes you, or one set to a radio station that will make you laugh or want to sing is a great way to nudge you from sleeping to wakefulness.
  • A cozy bathrobe or dressing gown helps ease the shock of moving from your comfy bed to a house set more for cooler sleeping temperatures than warm wakey-uppies.
  • A new shower head  — TikTok kept tempting me and I finally gave in and bought one of those new filtered, hand-held shower heads. (It’s even got a doohickey so you can use it like a garden hose to clean the shower.) Whether you want a shower massage or a rainforest effect, upgrading your morning shower routine gives you something to look forward to. You may not jump out of bed, but perhaps you won’t grumble so much.
  • A breakfast fit for Sleeping Beauty — In the ideal world, Jeeves would serve breakfast in bed. Failing that, aim for some special food or beverage treats, to make the morning meal inviting for the senses.
  • Start a new morning routine — If you don’t have enough of an opportunity to read, put a good book by your breakfast setting and instead of doom-scrolling social media. Take a brisk ten-minute walk around the block instead of checking morning emails. Call your BFF (but only if she’s likely to be awake already) and develop your plans to take over the world.

Organizing your morning to do just a few things differently could yield all sorts of bonuses as the day goes on.

Organizing your morning to do just a few things differently could yield all sorts of bonuses as the day goes on. Share on X

Take Your Sleep Health Seriously

If you have more than occasional trouble falling or staying asleep, don’t take things into your own hands.

  • Don’t self-medicate. We already discussed how alcohol disrupts sleep patterns, but it’s common for frustrated sleepers to seek out other (problematic) ways to self-medicate via over-the-counter options.

Even the commonly suggested solution of melatonin supplements are not suitable for everyone. For example, melatonin can lower blood sugar, causing hypoglycemia in people with diabetes; it’s also contraindicated for people taking blood pressure medications, blood thinners, certain contraceptives, and anti-convulsant medications. (People who are pregnant or breastfeeding, or who have autoimmune or seizure disorders or clinical depression should also not take melatonin.)

  • Talk to a medical professional. Paper Doll is a professional organizer, not a sleep doctor (and I don’t play one on television). If you consistently have trouble falling or staying asleep, confer with your healthcare provider to make sure you don’t have an underlying medical condition (like sleep apnea) contributing to your difficulties. If you do learn that you have a sleep disorder, you may also want to find a sleep specialist through one of the following

American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) 

American Academy of Dental Sleep Medicine (AADSM)

Your ability to be productive and organized in the daytime depends in large part of you successfully organizing your sleep at night. Sleep well!

WHEN WILL WE BE RID THIS INFERNAL CHANGING OF THE CLOCKS?

Your phone and computer likely change their own clocks. Your oven and microwave clocks likely do not. The clocks on my cordless landlines are triggered to change when receive an inbound call! I have a relatively glucometer (for testing blood sugar) and spent Sunday morning struggling with a multi-panel instruction sheet that made me feel like I was trying to fold a 1950s Rand McNally street map! There’s a reason so many people’s VCRs used to blink 12:00 all the time. 

It’s not difficult. It’s just a little frustrating. We’re a quarter of the way into the 21st century. Shouldn’t we be past this by now?

If you are wondering why we still have to change the clocks, you’re not alone. 

Those who would rather see the clock change go the way of the dodo cite sleep disruption and the resulting loss of productivity as well as increased risk of traffic accidents (in the spring and fall), mental health struggles (including Seasonal Affective Disorder) caused by decreased post-work/school hours of sunlight, and increased crime (because bad guys prefer their evil-doing in darkness). 

The problem is that nobody can agree one whether to have permanent Standard Time (as in Hawaii and Arizona) or Permanent Daylight Saving Time. More than a dozen states have already passed legislation in support of keeping DST year-round, arguing it provides a better quality of life, with more light in the evenings. Paper Doll is generally in this camp. If you’re stuck at work all day, you probably want sunlight greeting you at the end of your workday so the winter hours don’t feel like drudgery.  However, if you’ve got little kids, you probably don’t want them waiting for the school bus in the dark every morning.

Whether we go with Standard or Daylight Saving Time, there’s no way to make everyone happy, at least not until our AI overlords can update all of our clocks (and our circadian rhythms) in one fell swoop. Perhaps that’s why, although the Sunshine Protection Act of 2023 (which would have made DST permanent as of last year) received unanimous consent from the United States Senate in March 2022, the bill has languished in the House of Representatives. Sigh. How very disorganized of them.

Assuming our leaders don’t straighten this out, we’ll be changing our clocks yet again this March, so let’s at least take an opportunity to laugh about it, courtesy of the Holderness Family.

How to Collect, Organize, and Preserve Family Memories and History (Part 3) — AI & More

Posted on: October 28th, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 14 Comments

Who are you?

Certainly, you are your tastes and preferences, talents and experience. Nobody else has your abilities, quirks, and ways of delighting the world. Much of that comes from everything that’s happened to you, and everything you’ve decided to do (and to not do) since the days you careened onto this mortal coil.

But your very existence, in some ways, is due to those who came before. You enjoy the privileges or suffer the consequences of hundreds of years of decisions and experiences of your ancestors. War and famine, immigration and partner choice — other people’s lives determined, in large ways and small, your life.

Had your parents or grandparents or great-grandparents not come to the country where you were born, you would have had a completely different set of benefits and struggles, whether that’s bountiful nutrition and career opportunities or financial and educational injustices. We end up where we start as the result of our forebears. 

Sometimes that means we’re always fascinated to know more about them, and sometimes it doesn’t occur to us until too late in the game to ask questions at all. 

This mid-1950s photo shows Paper Mommy, sandwiched between her Bubbe (grandmother) and her mother, with her aunts flanking them. The first several times I asked about this photo, the only thing my mom shared was that she hated her haircut. Asking questions may take perseverance. 

We recently did a deep dive into why we might want to know about our family histories and stories, and what questions can help satisfy our curiosity about things we might not even know to ask. Then, we looked at some of the major options for helping collect, organize, preserve, and share those family legacies. In case you missed those posts, you can pop over and read them here:

How to Collect, Organize, and Preserve Family Memories and History (Part 1) — The Questions

How to Collect, Organize, and Preserve Family Memories and History (Part 2) — The Methods

Today, we’re going a little further afield to see what other options may help you embrace those generational memories.

USE AI TO CREATE YOUR FAMILY LEGACY IN PRINT

Artificial Intelligence gets fancier every day. It also gets scarier.

I like when I ask ChatGPT to give me advice on how to make a blog post subject line more friendly for search engine optimization. I don’t like it when it makes things up out of whole cloth. 

For example, in 3 Simple But Powerful Productivity Resources — Right in Your Browser Tab, I talked about Goblin.Tools, a 7-in-1 AI tool to help both neurodivergent and neurotypical users with time management as well as “tone” management. On the other hand, my colleague Hazel Thornton has written about both the good and the bad in AI in posts like The AI Gold Rush.)

In this series on collecting, organizing, and preserving family memories and legacies, I wanted to include these AI solutions as opportunities, not recommendations.

Recording audio or shooting video or turning narrated stories into written chapters is a lot of work. Grandma probably isn’t up for it. You also may not have the time for it. 

AI, however, has all the time in the world. Why not give AI the chance to play the legacy-preserving version of The Jetson‘s Rosie the Robot and let it do a little of the scut work for you?

For example, if you narrate a story and the AI adds flourishes, creates chapter titles and sub-headers, and formats what you’ve spoken, you’re not wedded to it. You can always revise it. But you can’t edit a blank page, and getting something down is better than waiting until you can make it perfect.

The following are some AI-assisted options for collecting, organizing, and preserving your family stories.

Otto

Otto is an AI biographer, billing itself as a solution to create “memoirs for mere mortals.” It’s based around a simple voice interface, so you just start talking about whatever you want to share: your personal memories, family stories, life milestones, or recapped adventures.

You or your storyteller will get a prompt to answer some questions for about 10-20 minutes, making this ideal for anyone who may feel cowed by the idea of having spin a long yarn. You’re not doing an HBO stand-up special, just ten minutes of responses to weekly encouragement.

Once you’ve done your part, Otto creates transcripts of your recordings and uses artificial intelligence to develop a biography based on what has been said.

Open the app, hand the phone off to Dad, perhaps with a list of prompts (such as the ones I offered in part 1 of this series) and let Otto do the rest.

Otto creates chapters — the transcription is just the first part; the AI magic comes in almost as quickly as you can dictate. Review the chapters as Otto drafts them to ensure that everything you wanted to capture is there.

Worried AI might goof up and misunderstand something you say? The founder, Ashita Achuthan, noted that AI gave her name a few confused looks. So, Otto allows you to go into the transcripts and manually edit to ensure everything looks as it should.

The resulting biography, from what I can tell (without signing up), is digital; if you want a tangible copy, you’ll need to download the content (and perhaps combine with photos) to achieve a DIY book (such as I described in part 2 of this series).

Start with a free, 15-minute introductory trial of Otto to see how a chapter can be created with just a little chat. After that, a lifetime membership is $199, though Otto is in beta (having just launched this year), so the early bird price right now is only $99. With your lifetime membership, you get a 40-chapter biography, automatic transcripts, and access to new sessions and features.

Ottostory

Don’t confuse Otto with Ottostory. (Gee, how could anyone confuse the two?)

Ottostory has a three-step approach for building a biography.

  • Speak into the phone and Ottostory captures the experiences. It can be a long narrative, a childhood memory, or a life event. 
  • Select a tone. Depending on the individuals and the story being told, you may want a different tonal or writing style. You get to pick whether the tone should be “adventurous,” “romantic,” or “true to life.” 
  • Watch your stories become a book. Once all of the tales have been narrated and AI edits the content, the story becomes a bound hardcover book, shareable with family and friends.

Ottostory has a number of features to achieve the narrative result:

Flexible Interaction

First, Ottostory offers multiple input formats. You can integrate voice, text, and document uploads. Enrich your narrative with photographs.

As mentioned, you can select different tonal styles for the writing. You can also invite family and friends to contribute guest chapters, augmenting beloved memories with multiple perspectives.

Guided Storytelling

The process starts with Ottostory’s library of 200 prompts, developed by cognitive behavior therapists, professional authors, and publishers to “elicit meaningful and heartfelt responses.” 

If you’re a writer, you may love the idea of taking all the transcriptions of Great-Grandpa’s circuitous stories and editing them into a comprehensible and comprehensive whole. If you’re not, you won’t.

Otto promises that their cutting-edge AI-powered storytelling technology will “seamlessly weave your memories into a compelling narrative” so you can take those stories, eliminate the repetition and excess, and make it make sense.

Once the individual memories are captured, Ottostory organizes the various tales along a structured timeline of key milestones or life events. Instead of a mish-mash of tales, it yields an orderly biography.

Ottostory also offers up to three hours of one-on-one coaching with professional biography writers to help craft your narrative and conquer any writing obstacles.

Customization

Users can custom-design a high-quality, premium book cover based on templates.

Once it’s all put together, you get both a bound hardcover and a digital copy of your book, enabling you to maintain a legacy copy for future generations and share your story now with loved ones wherever they are. 

Timelines to complete an entire book vary, but the FAQ says that on average, an autobiography is completed over nine months. There aren’t any time limits, so your storytellers won’t be rushed and can work at their own pace. However, Ottostory helps users stay focused by providing a personalized schedule with reminders to keep going until the book is done.

Ottostory’s pricing is definitely higher than we’ve seen with the other services. It’s $499, for which you get a 7″ x 10″ hardcover book, including fifty pages for narrative storytelling and thirty pages for vivid pictures.

Memoirist

On the opposite end of the price spectrum is Memoirist, an AI-assisted biography and memoir service.

To get started, decide whose life story will be told, whether that’s you, a family member contributing their own tales, or the family genealogist.

Then, Memoirist offers prompts to entice the storyteller to relay important memories. Unlike the other platforms we’ve looked at, Memoirist then has its Interview Helper follow up on those stories with “gentle, insightful follow-up questions to deepen the narrative.” 

Access Memoirist on your phone, tablet, or computer.

The AI takes it from there, turning the recorded “conversations” (between the storyteller and the AI) into a compelling story designed to “capture[s] the essence of your experiences.”

Once the story is massaged into final form, personalize the ensuing tangible book with various design options. You can customize the cover and final layout to reflect your preferences based on the kind of memories relayed. 

Finally, users may order bound, high-quality print copies to be shipped and shared with family and friends.

Right now, early adopters can try Memoirist for free (discounted from $10) for an initial five chapters; it also includes use of the Interview Helper’s follow-up questions and a formatted PDF of your story.

If you like Memoirist, you can upgrade to a full version for $29 (discounted 70% from the full price of $99). In addition to the assistance of the Interview Helper, you can have up to thirty chapters (up to 200 pages) in a printed, hardcover biography. You also get “do-overs” of the five initial chapters from the trial experience.

Life Story AI

Life Story AI has three approaches. If you’re with your loved one, you can ask them the Life Story AI prompt questions; they can respond using the phone app and be recorded. (They or you can also type answers on the screen.) If you aren’t present and they’re comfy with technology, “Lisa” (the AI) can prompt them to answer directly. Alternatively, sub yourself in to answer the family history questions. There’s no obligation to answer everything.

Based on answers to the general prompts, Lisa will ask customized questions. The platform gives an example of, “As an only child, what kind of fun did you have?” From there:

  • Lisa sends a new question weekly, by email. You or your storyteller can answer as many questions as desired. You can add photos to make the story more robust.
  • The system records and transcribes everything, and can correct grammar and spelling.
  • Edit or delete text as you like, and even add your own preferred questions or stories.
  • Once they (or you) have put in 10-20 hours of material, the Life Story is ready to become a book.
  • You can adjust the style from the storyteller’s tone to a more literary one.
  • Customize the cover of the book — choose a title and import a cover photo.
  • Add up to 40 color or black-and-white photos.

The end result is a 250-page printed, soft-cover book with high-quality paper for $99. Additional books can be ordered at $35/each (plus shipping).

 

AI Life Story

AI Life Story (see what I mean about similar-sounding names?) is yet another AI-assisted book biographer. Once you sign up for an account, your storyteller gets to chat with AI Life Story’s AI interviewer. The interviewer will pose various biographical and thought-provoking questions about backgrounds, interests, and opinions. The storyteller can respond by typing or voice recording.

Once the “interview” is complete, the AI will write a “compelling” story based on the responses. In turn, you can review and edit the story to your preferences. You also have the option of uploading photos and adding comments or other answers, as well as customizing the end-result by choosing from a variety of templates. 

The collaboration yields a digital (not printed) book about your life.

There’s a free trial, after which there are two pricing options: monthly for $29/month (currently discounted for early adopters to $25/monthly) and an annual subscription of $228/year (currently discounted to $159/year. 

USE AI TO CREATE YOUR FAMILY LEGACY IN VIDEO

And now for something completely different.

Storyfile

You know William Shatner. Whether your Shatner is Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, or Denny Crane, as spokesperson for Storyfile, he’s got thoughts on preserving video versions yourself (as if you were a holodeck character on the Enterprise) to interact with future generations.

 
After setting up an account with Storyfile, you log in and select the questions you want to use as prompts. Storyfile has 1600+ questions, grouped as related topics, crafted to encourage vibrant storytelling. Categories include topics covering family traditions, events like vacations and weddings, “favorites,” holidays, children, etc.

In addition to typical biographical questions and genealogical prompts, there are extensive questions in categories we haven’t seen on other platforms, like military memories, prompts for Holocaust survivors, memories about 9/11, questions about personal and family COVID pandemic experiences, “Pride” tales of coming out and gender identity, and more. 

The storyteller records their video responses (on a computer, tablet, or phone).

Now, you can share the interactive StoryFile via social media, email, or text. Visiting loved ones can then interact with the videos and find the answers within the StoryFile.

Think of it as a little bit like artificial intelligence setting up a Zoom call and blending it with time travel, yielding an almost sci-fi-like experience for family members to have face-to-[recorded]face interactions. 

It’s called conversational video. StoryFile sees itself as transforming one-way video into interactive two-way conversations. Imagine recording your answers and now (or later), your great-grandkids can ask your StoryFile questions. The StoryFile AI then searches the video database of what you’ve already recorded and yields the best video response, making it (mostly) like a conversation. Again, kind of like the Holodeck.

To see it in action, watch the clip of CBS Sunday Morning from this past Memorial Day, showing how the WWII Museum is using this kind of interactive technology.

StoryFile offers a free trial, with which you get 33 free questions, unlimited conversations, the ability to share to social platforms, and one-minute video answers. (Video recordings are 720p resolution.) From there, StoryFile offers three levels:

  • Pay per question — For $1 per question, you can select from any of the 1600+ questions to add to the 33 from the free level. You still get unlimited conversations, the ability to share on social media and 720p video recordings, but at this level the video answers are two minutes in duration and you get the ability to re-record your answers.
  • Story Pack — For a one-time $49 fee, you can select 75 unique questions to add to the initial 33 and get everything else available at the pay-per-question level.
  • Premium — For a one-time $499 fee, you get access to all 1600+ questions in 70+ curated life topics, unlimited conversations, the ability to share on social platforms and re-record your answers plus you can record five-minute video answers. (I’m sure they created this option for people like Paper Doll, for whom brevity is difficult.) Additionally, the video recording quality is 1080p (high resolution) and you get unlimited storage capacity.  

USE AI TO CREATE YOUR FAMILY LEGACY IN A MIX OF MEDIA

Memory Lane

Memory Lane is a fairly new platform that seems to take AI one step beyond what we’ve seen so far. 

Users — they call them “Storytellers” just as I’ve been saying throughout this series — respond to personalized prompts from Memory Lane’s AI interviewer, recording their memories. These can be stories, family recipes, private jokes, or advice on how to raise children or interact with the world.

The AI interviewer is designed to invite a conversation, not an interrogation. Trained to be “empathetic, patient, encouraging and kind,” their AI is developed by advisors — psychologists, experts in ethics, and professional biographers — to create an interactive interviewer to draw out the best from each Storyteller. In their words, they seek to prompt, “a nostalgic trip down memory lane – and at every step we’ve built our platform with deep respect for the profoundly personal, meaningful experience that is curating your legacy.”

After the interview, recorded answers are stored “forever” in Memory Lane’s private, secure database.

As each storyteller shares more personal and family stories, the AI automatically generates a professional summary and what Memory Lane calls a life story map as a record for future generations, whom they call “the Listeners.” (Again, this starts to feel like Star Trek again, only instead of “Who Watches the Watchers,” it becomes “Who Listens to the Storytellers?”)

Memory Lane offers a 7-day free-trial, after which there are two pricing options:

  • a monthly subscription is $8.99/month with unlimited storytelling, 100% personalized questions, unlimited access for the entire family as “Listeners,” narrative tracking (to eliminate errors and make certain no details fall through the cracks), and one color-printed hardcover biography. (After six months of the monthly subscription, the book is free.)
  • a one-time annual subscription for $99 provides a full year of access to Memory Lane, all of the features offered with the monthly subscription, and the hardcover book is free to be printed at any time. 

Memory Lane is in beta, so some things may not be ready for prime time. (A few of the links are still wonky.) 

 

OTHER LEGACY-PRESERVING OPTIONS

As I researched traditional and AI legacy-capturing options, I found that, just as with productivity and note-taking apps, or almost anything else you can find on the web, there are numerous options without lacking clarifying information. As always, buyer beware.

Of course, you could always hire a professional biographer to speak with your beloved family members. Consider starting with Biographers International Organization (BIO).

Finally, if you and your family are just getting started with pondering how to capture family history, just start asking questions. 

Tales

Recently, an ad for a card deck/game appeared on my feed. (Yes, our AI overlords and their sneaky browser cookies are eavesdropping on my research.)

It’s called Tales, and its Life Story interview kit features 150 conversation starters, segmented into three life stages: early life, mid-life, an later life reflections. The arrangement is designed to yield a smooth conversational flow and spark memories and discussions.

Tales is available directly from the creator’s site, above, or on Amazon for $14.99.

N/A
 

Perhaps you can buy a game like this, or make up one of your own, before Thanksgiving this year or whenever your family will get together next.

Finally…

Recently, I was reading The Boomer Stuff Avalanche, an article talking about how “Millennials are about to be crushed by all the junk their parents accumulated.” That’s part of a different (and bigger) discussion. But here’s a final thought.

Your kids and grand-kids may not want your stuff. But they will want your stories. Share them while you can.

Your kids and grand-kids may not want your stuff. But they will want your stories. Share them while you can. Share on X

How to Collect, Organize, and Preserve Family Memories and History (Part 2) — The Methods

Posted on: October 21st, 2024 by Julie Bestry | 10 Comments

Last week, in How to Collect, Organize, and Preserve Family Memories and History (Part 1) — The Questions we looked at why you might want to collect family memories and stories.

It’s easy to think that it’s all about “genealogy,” which can seem like a dry topic to those who haven’t delved into wacky and wondrous family stories. But we saw how embracing family history can do more than clarify what’s happening in family photos (or make those strangers in black-and-white come alive and feel more three-dimensional). Family stories can help tether us to a genetic continuum and weave us into a tapestry going back generations and extending broadly across time and locations.

For example, when I started my business, I felt like I was adrift, the first person to really “start” a business. When asked for her profession, Paper Mommy usually puts down “part-time brain surgeon” for fun, and while motherhood is an intellectual and physical triumph, it doesn’t ecacly bring in the Benjamins. My father was an attorney and judge, but in the late 1940s, he joined an already existing practice.

But focusing on those stories I told you last week, I can place myself along a continuum of business owners: my material great-grandfather owned his own bakery (with my great-grandmother, who ran it); my paternal grandfather, who co-owned a tailors’ notions shop; my maternal grandfather, who traded in scrap metal (though decommissioned battleships seem more grandiose than “scrap” would imply).  

Last week’s post also detailed a wide variety of questions to help get conversations started about family history and memories. We know that some people (and some generations) find it hard to talk about themselves, so it’s no surprise their children don’t ask questions; they don’t realize there’s anything to ask! Hopefully, the prompts I provided last week will give you a starting point to talk with your family about the rich tapestry of their lives.

But what will you do with these stories once you’ve gathered them, and how will you preserve them for future generations?

HOW TO CAPTURE MEMORIES AND STORIES — THE BASICS

Capturing your loved ones’ stories can be as simple or as robust as you choose, and you don’t necessarily have to invest in apps or platforms in order to create a record of someone’s legacy. 

Take notes

Start with the basics. If you just want to make sure you get the details of what happened, you could take notes as your Grandpa tells his stories.

Scribbling notes by hand can be more surreptitious; even though we know that taking notes on our phones or computers is more efficient, and putting them into Evernote or even a Google doc will come easily, typing while they’re talking may seem dismissive to older folks. (Don’t we all feel like our doctors aren’t paying attention to us when they stay buried in their computers, tapping away as we describe our ills?)

There are only slightly more complex technological options that, once they are set up, allow you to interact more freely and naturally.

Capture your conversation with audio

The voice memo function on your phone or computer is a good choice when you’re in the middle of cooking or traveling and your relative surprises you by telling a story. You can quickly record them without missing a detail.

On iPhone, use the robust Voice Memo app. (It’s in your utilities folder, but for easier access, put it on your home screen.) On Android, use the built-in Sound Recorder app or download any of a variety of free or paid audio apps.

Shoot video of family stories

Using video adds even more color to a family story than just audio, but capturing it can be touchy. The last thing you want is for your Auntie to feel like the paparazzi are sticking cameras in her face, and you don’t want her to be focused on how she looks. 

GenZ, Gen A, and younger millennials use their phones as if they are extensions of their fingers. Depending on your age and experience, you may be all-thumbs or quite adept at shooting video with your phone. The more easily you grab your phone and unobtrusively focus and hold it still, the more at ease Great-Grandma will be at telling her story of how she came to America.

If you can turn on your phone, set it up to stay steady, and give all of your attention to the narrative, everything will go more smoothly. Otherwise, develop a shorthand with your teen or tween, so while they play cinematographer, it lets you take the role of interviewer.

Set up a remote video call

The above options work great if you’re taking advantage of serendipity and spontaneously capturing a relative telling a story. But if you want to plan to capture memories, you’ll need to add some structure.

One good option is setting up Zoom, or any similar remote video service, and starting a conversation that way. There are a view key issues to consider:

  • Ease of use — The basics of Zoom aren’t difficult; Paper Mommy is 88, and like most people, she took to using Zoom during the pandemic. But the email invitations, with the myriad links and phone numbers, can be overwhelming to users of all ages. When you set up a call, make sure that your interviewee(s) have as little confusion as possible; pare down the instructions to the absolute essentials or do it when someone in the family or a friend can help them set up. Nobody is at their storytelling best after thirty minutes of fighting their technology.
  • Preparation vs. capturing lightning in a bottle — You know your family members. Some might freeze up if they’re asked questions; if their Nervous Nellies, send them at least a few of the prompting questions a day or two in advance. Other folks work best when they are spontaneous. You’ll need different methods for different family members.
  • Recording — Pick a robust video platform option that allows you to record the call and access the file quickly and easily.
  • Screen-sharing and other features — If you want to use photos to help prompt someone’s recall, make sure your video platform has a screen-sharing function, and set up the photos in a folder or slide-show, so you aren’t so distracted by the fiddly stuff that you break up the flow of your storyteller’s narrative.

You can work your way through the prompt questions I provided last week, but be sure you leave space for them to go off on tangents and surprise and delight you with unexpected tales!

Incorporate family photos into their stories

If you are handy with DIY, there are online companies where you can combine photos and text (like family stories) into a photo book (or a series of them). Popular sites include:

  • Shutterfly — Browse from a collection of templates, select one, and upload your photos in JPEG format) into the pre-selected slots. Then add text, design elements, and other customizations. Shutterfly also has a free 24-hour designer service. 
  • Mixbook — Customize the design complexity and apply styles and themes.
  • Google Photos — With prices starting at $14.99, you can customize hardcover or softcover book with custom captions, text, and collages on any page.

The above options help preserve visuals, but offer limited space for narratives.

These snaps of Paper Mommy and my sister illustrates just one of a several family stories regarding my mother doing our hair. Here, Paper Mommy zealously, lopsidedly cutg my sister’s bangs. Luckily, there are no photos of the day I was sent out into the world with pink hair-setting tape still in my hair.

However, if you’d prefer a more white glove service rather than fighting with online settings, consider something like Jiffy Page‘s Pixorium. I’ve worked with clients to help them pare down their photos and then hand them off to Pixorium to scan and preserve digitally. They do a stellar job, but where they really shine is in helping develop custom story books.

Pixorium doesn’t just help preserve photos and make story books. Jiffy’s people are storytellers. Bring your photos, tell your story, even provide a manuscript of family history. Pixorium will listen, ask questions, and create a book that respects and reflects your family’s legacy. (Be sure to check out Pixorium’s YouTube page for great photo and legacy advice.)

Explore creative options for collecting family memories

The above options are more familiar, straightforward approaches to getting your family to tell stories and capture them, but if your family is up for some adventure, try something atypical.

This summer, I was intrigued by Perfect Pixel Moment‘s blog post on Medium, 12 New Ways to Preserve Family Memories, which included ideas like creating a family podcast series, developing a family blog, producing multi-generational family cooking videos, and more. Check it out.

What to do with what you collect

What you do with the notes, audios, and videos you capture is up to you. As with tangible organizing, you have to sort, merge, and edit your specific categories before organizing things into final form.

Whether you share raw footage or edit everything into a meaningful presentation, a documentary, or private YouTube channel is your choice. For now, focus on gathering and preserving the information while your storytellers are with you and up to the task of narrating their rich histories.

PLATFORMS FOR CAPTURING FAMILY MEMORIES IN BOOK FORM

There a huge number of services and apps designed to help you collect, organize, preserve, and share your family’s memories. The rest of this post explores just a few.

Storyworth

Storyworth is a subscription-based service. You select a weekly email prompt from the database of hundreds of “tell me about your life” questions. Your recipients respond with their own emails.

Unlike the broad, overarching prompts I suggested in last week’s post, Storyworth’s questions are more pointed and varied, including, “Can you sing your favorite lullaby?” and “What is one of your greatest fears?” (You can also edit the suggested questions or use your own.) 

Stories are private by default and available to download by only authorized family members. At the end of the year, the responses to the prompts are bound into a book.

A standard package includes a year’s worth of weekly story prompts to help you interview one “storyteller,” online access for an unlimited number of family members (as authorized by you), and one 6″ x 9″ hardcover book with a black & white interior and a full color cover.

You can’t apply any of your own formatting, change fonts, etc., but the books can include photos. (The storyteller attaches photos to their email responses.) Once the responses are submitted, you and/or the storyteller can log in and edit responses and add captions to the photos, though some online reviews have mentioned the editing process can be finicky. 

Extra books can be ordered, as follows:

  • $39: Black and white interior, up to 480 pages
  • $79: Color books, up to 300 pages
  • $99: Color books above 300 pages, up to 480 pages

If you purchase multiple subscription packages, you can opt to blend multiple family members’ stories into one book.

A package is $99 for a year, with domestic shipping included.

Founded by Nick Baum to capture his father’s stories, Storyworth is independent and family-owned, and has been in business for over a decade. 

Storyworth is best suited for a loved one who is comfortable with technology, in good enough health to read on-screen prompts and reply on their own, and eager enough to overcome procrastination or inertia and respond to a weekly email.

You know your relatives best. Will they feel like this is homework to slog through or an opportunity to shine?

Because stories are captured in print form (even with photos), they lack the vividness of platforms with audio and/or video. However, history tells us that print books will always be accessible, while digital A/V formats quickly become obsolete.

My Life In a Book

A similar biographical approach is offered by My Life in a Book, with questions selected from a database (though you can create your own questions to reflect the uniqueness of your relatives’ experiences).

Prompts come to your recipient via email, and replies are returned similarly, though there is a voice-to-text option, which allows someone to narrate stories directly into the online system.

Additionally, unlike the weekly flow of Storyworth, My Life in a Book allows you to customize the frequency of the arrival of the questions. Chatty Cathy can get them faster; Silent Sam can be asked less often.

This platform has a more structured biographical approach, with themes for the books:

  • Preserving Memories fits the theme of tracking the lives of parents and grandparents
  • Baby’s First Moments preserves important memories for new parents
  • The Story of Us helps couples track their lives together
  • I’m Writing a Book About You lets you create a book for and about a special loved one

My Life in a Book offers collaborative editing, so both the storyteller and any family members with access can help edit responses and even add photographs. You can also get real-time notifications to update you when your loved one has responded.

Users have input into the final book, including selecting from a variety of cover designs, choosing from a palette of color themes, and choosing different cover font text (but not interior fonts). Depending on the selected style, you may either select a pre-designed image or use a custom photo.

My Life in a Book is also $99, and shipping of books is free domestically and to Canada, UK, Australia, and New Zealand; there are shipping fees to other countries. Upgrades (at additional cost) include audiobook versions, additional print copies, and gift boxes for print books.

Remento

Remento is a worth considering if your loved one might feel more comfortable narrating a story rather than typing it.

There are still weekly prompts (which can include user-provided photo prompts), but the storyteller speaks the response into the system using a smartphone or computer; there are no logins or downloads, and reviewers report that it only requires a few clicks to get started.

Remento records and transcribes the recordings into stories printed as hardcover books.

Additionally, the books are printed with QR codes, which, when scanned, play the original recording used to write the chapters. Thus, future generations not only get the book, but get to hear the voice of the storyteller (at least as long as Remento is in business).

Remento uses artificial intelligence. Once the narration is recorded, you get to choose your preferred writing style (first-person, third-person, or transcript). From there, Remento’s Speech-to-Story™ AI technology turns your storyteller’s voice into a polished, edited written narrative. You can also customize the book’s title, color, and cover photo.

Remento is currently priced at $99, for which you get unlimited prompts and recordings, unlimited collaborators, and one premium, color-printed book. (If you subscribe to their mailing list at the bottom of the front page and are willing to get updates and notifications for sales and giveaways, you get $10 off.)

Remento is a little more focused on the journey (involving the whole family in encouraging responses to the prompts) than the destination (creating a book). All authorized family members can collaborate, watch the recordings as they’re submitted, send reactions to what’s been created (thereby providing the family storyteller with positive feedback), and select new prompts for future use. 

As with the above options, your loved one will still need to keep up with prompts to get value, but the easy audio interface may make the experience more inviting than having to reply in writing.

Getting reactions on each uploaded story may be a positive experience (like getting a thumbs-up “like” on Facebook) or might be distracting and yield self-consciousness. 

MULTIMEDIA PLATFORMS FOR PRESERVING FAMILY HISTORY

Books are fabulous, and your great-great-great-great grandchildren will probably be able to read text, as long as it’s not written in cursive. But if you want your family’s memories to come alive, and you want your own grandchildren to feel like they really knew your grandparents, there’s no substitute for audio and video.

StoryCorps

StoryCorps is a grand-daddy (or grand-mommy) of preserving family legacies, dating back to 2003, but it comes at it from a different perspective from most other platforms.

StoryCorps is a nonprofit project founded by a public radio producer, committed to the notion that we all have important stories to tell and that ALL of our stories matter. StoryCorps mission is to “help us believe in each other by illuminating the humanity and possibility in us all — one story at a time.” 

I have a lump in my throat just reading that!

StoryCorps has a collection of more than 700,000 stories, the largest archive of its kind. Rather than creating a recorded family history for just generations of your people, you can create a story for future generations of people all over. 

You have a few options for creating stories:

  • Record with StoryCorps’ self-directed tools. If you can get in the same room with your loved one, use the StoryCorps App. Use my prompts from last week’s post, invent your own, or use StoryCorps’ prompts — then ask away. Alternatively, if your loved ones are elsewhere, whether across the city or across the world, you can record stories together via your web browsers using StoryCorps Connect. Either way, you can preserve your conversations using StoryCorps DIY resources.
  • Alternatively, you and a loved one can record a conversation at one of the StoryCorps recording sites with the help of a facilitator. This adds a nice professional layer to the question-and-answer experience and may help your loved one feel more inspired. At the end of the session you get a recording of your interview and a copy is sent to the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress. Talk about legacy! 
    • StoryCorps Mobile Tours — Each year for the last 15 years, StoryCorps has been going on a nationwide mobile tour. As I was writing last week’s post, I just happened to learn that they’re just up the road from me in Knoxville, TN, through the end of the month!
    • StoryCorps Atlanta Booth — The StoryCorps facility at the Atlanta History Center has recorded and preserved thousands of conversations since 2013. If you’re in or near Atlanta, book an appointment to “interview” your loved one in person or even virtually, by phone. (They can feel like they’re on NPR, being interviewed by Terry Gross or Mary Louise Kelly!)
    • Military Voices Initiative — This program provides a way for service members, veterans, and military families across America to honor and listen to their loved one’s stories. Book an appointment to preserve their memories (and your questions) in person or virtually at one of their Military Voices Initiative stops.

Some segments may even air on NPR, and I’ve seen beautiful StoryCorps personal histories set to animated video on StoryCorps’ TikTok channel. In fact, the following video prompted this part of the post series.

For more stories, see StoryCorps’s archive and YouTube page.

StoryCorps is free to all users.

Obviously, StoryCorps isn’t the right option for capturing an entire lifetime of memories, let alone the stories of all of your loved ones. However, the professionalism of the production experience may inspire your family members who may be dubious about having something to say, or who are shy about sharing their stories, to open up a bit. Consider StoryCorps as a way to delight in the storytelling experience and use it as an on-ramp for refreshing memories.

STORII

Storii recognizes that not everyone is going to be comfortable with typing their stories or even clicking around on an app or website. It’s designed for Great-Grandpa, who grunts at computers and cell phones whenever he sees them in public. (And for folks who, for whatever reason, have difficulty with technology.)

Storii uses actual phone calls to collect memories. Unless Great-Grandpa predates Alexander Graham Bell inventing the telephone in 1876, I think you’re safe.

Set up an account profile (in Storii’s iOS or Android app) for your loved ones to receive phone calls, whether on a cell phone or landline; alternatively, they can call in. (No smartphone or internet is required.)

Next, choose prompting questions from more than 1000 life story questions in their database (broken down into guiding categories like life, family, religion, career, or legacy), and/or craft some of your own.

Schedule up to three automated incoming calls per week at a time you know is good for your loved one, or arrange for them to call in to record their responses. Storii records and transcribes the calls, and adds them to your profile.

Record interactive responses. You and other family members can listen to the recordings and respond with audio, video, photo, and text responses.

Access the recordings as audiobooks or downloadable PDF books. Recordings can be shared with other family members by secure links or via emails. 

If you think your storytellers won’t be at ease if they’re “surprised” by a question (even on a scheduled call), there are a few options.

They (or you) can log in to their Storii profile to see all upcoming questions (and remove, re-order, or add custom questions). If your loved ones don’t have (or don’t want to use) internet, and aren’t keen on getting you involved, they can call in to Storii at any time to hear their next upcoming question.

They can also just hang up after they hear the question on the scheduled call, and Storii will keep asking the same question until it’s either answered or skipped.

Storii’s pricing is $9.99/month or $99/year.

We have just scratched the surface of the DIY options and formal platforms for capturing, organizing, and preserving your family’s stories. But Paper Doll has one more trick up her sleeve. Next week, we’ll close out this series with AI-assisted platforms and apps for creating those family legacies. See you next time!

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