Introducing “Ask Paper Doll” — Organizing Advice for the Third Millennium
In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Polonius freely gave his son Laertes some advice, most notably, “This above all: To thine own self be true.” (Fans of both Shakespeare and Paper Doll will note that I don’t always follow Polonius’ second-best-known advice, “Brevity is the soul of wit.”)
Known as “agony aunts” in the UK in the late 1800s and early 1900s, we know them as advice columnists. Twin sisters Abigail Van Buren and Ann Landers (Pauline Phillips and Esther Lederer), doled out relationship and other guidance, often in “zinger” format, in competing newspapers over more than half a century. Examples of the lighter variety:
Dear Abby: I know boys will be boys, but my ‘boy’ is seventy-three and he’s still chasing women. Any suggestions? —Annie
Dear Annie: Don’t worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn’t know what to do with it.
As a recent arrival in the United States in the early days of the 20th-century, my Poppy (Paper Mommy‘s father) used to read a Yiddish column in the Jewish Daily Forward called A Bintel Brief (“a bundle of letters”) answering questions from new immigrants. (A Bintel Brief continues to this day, but online, and in English, and is written by two women named Abby!)
And busy-bee First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt wrote If You Ask Me for Ladies Home Journal and McCall’s.
When I was in elementary school, I read the comics pages and Dear Abby every morning, rarely fully understanding the problems, let alone the advice, but (pre-Google) there was huge appeal in the idea that there was someone out there who could answer burning questions. As a teen, I read the horrifying advice in Ladies Home Journal‘s long-running Can This Marriage Be Saved? (I often suspected it could, but ought not.) Nowadays, there are all manner of advice-givers on a variety of topics, including Dear Amy, Dear Prudence, Dear Sugar, Miss Manners, and others.
I don’t just like reading advice, I like giving it. To steal from radio therapist (and famed chef of tossed salads and scrambled eggs),
Hey baby I hear the blues a-callin’ pic.twitter.com/yKSDR1TaPM
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) February 8, 2018
Frasier Crane, I have never known the luxury of an unexpressed thought. (Editor’s note: As this post was going to press, I learned that while I’d first heard the quote on Frasier, it appears to have originated with United States Senate Minority Leader Everett Dirksen.)
I don't just like reading advice, I like giving it. To steal from radio therapist and chef of tossed salads and scrambled eggs, Frasier Crane, I have never known the luxury of an unexpressed thought. Share on XWhat may contribute to my family’s dismay — “know-it-all” may have been an aspersion cast at some point — this is somewhat to the advantage of my clients. And at my speaking engagements, the Q&A portions of the event have sometimes lasted longer than the presentations themselves, and more than once, I’ve continued holding forth as attendees followed me to my car.
As the Press Room page of this site attests, I am extremely lucky (and grateful) to get some great opportunities to share my advice. In 2020 alone, I got to serve as an “expert” for Real Simple Magazine in four issues (February, May, October, and November) talking about organizing challenges as varied as purses, medicine cabinets, garages, and electronic cables and wires!
Just last week, the first week of the new year, I got to contribute my insights to roundups for Hire-A-Helper’s “We Asked 12 Professionals How They Made Their Moves Easier,” as well as Geralin Thomas’ “Tools of the Trade for Professional Organizers,” and Ronni Eisenberg’s “The Best of the Best Advice On How To Get Organized In 2021 — Part 2.” And my past advice on organizing for the new year has been updated at Dumpsters.com’s Take the 30 Day Decluttering Challenge.
You just can’t shut me up!
In part, my love of sharing advice about organizing and productivity is what encouraged me to start the Paper Doll blog in 2007. Over the years, I’ve had the opportunity to participate in Janet Barclay‘s Productivity and Organizing Blog Carnivals, and having contributed 50 posts to the carnivals, I have now achieved Megastar Blogger status, shared with five other organizing blogger colleagues: Ellen Delap, Audrey Cupo, Linda Samuels, Hazel Thornton, and Sabrina Quairoli.
As I start my 20th year as a professional organizer and productivity consultant, I want to add something different to the conversation. A brand-spanking-new, recurring feature of this blog will be Ask Paper Doll, an opportunity for you to ask your questions about organizing. I hope you’ll consider me the Dear Abby of the organizing and productivity set for this third decade of the third millennium.
When the Paper Doll blog first launched, not on my own platform, but on Ramona Creel‘s late, lamented OnlineOrganizing.com, under the title Paper Doll, Tackling the Stacks and Piles, the description read:
Periodic Ask Paper Doll posts will cover the same sorts of things, including (but not limited to) organizing paper, information, and our behavioral approaches toward being more productive and organized. First up will be a request from a friend of several decades, the result of a Twitter conversation.
My alma mater had its annual Cornell Cares Day this weekend, a day of service for students and alumni, and along with sharing the link, I included one of the ways to get involved that was most up my alley: “Clean out closets and donate clothes, toys, and books.” In reply, my friend wrote:
My love for giving advice kicked in, and I promised I’d write a blog post “just for her” on the subject of donating books. That will be the first Ask Paper Doll post.
Here’s where you come in. What would Abby and Ann have done without their readers? (OK, they’d probably have just made questions up, but we’re not going to do this.) Already, in testing the idea out, questions have included:
- “My get-up-and-go has got up and went! How do I stick with my goals and resolutions?”
- “How do I convince my spouse to be more organized?” (I promise this won’t become a modern-day “Can This Marriage Be Saved?”)
- “What if none of my stuff gives me JOY? Does that mean I can toss my tax returns?”
- …and a ton of questions on organizing health insurance paperwork!
If you have any burning questions you’d like to submit to future Ask Paper Doll columns, feel free to use the Contact page here at Best Results Organizing (putting “ASK PAPER DOLL” in the subject line), or message me on any of the social media links on this page. If you don’t want your identity included, just provide a nom de plume, like Cluttered in Cleveland, and we’ll go from there.
P.S. To be clear, I am my mother’s daughter. In my family, we refer to asking advice of Paper Mommy as “opening the Mommy Encyclopedia,” and the May 2020 (Mother’s Day) issue of Real Simple included my answer about the best advice my mom gave me:
At least you know that I come by it honestly.
Paper Doll Post:
What fun! I will be interested to see what questions you get. I know you have fabulous answers, so I will enjoy reading. I love that quote from Frasier – too funny!
I figure, anyone who writes posts as long as mine usually are (lately topping out over 2000 words) has to laugh at herself! I’m also thinking that I might do more roundups and interviews. After all these years, it’s all about keeping it fresh!
Julie, this is FABULOUS! I love the way you answer questions and also prompt new ideas! I can’t wait to read your posts and will probably even contribute questions.
Thank you, Diane. I know today’s post was kind of self-indulgent, but I have a real passion for this. I picture myself as Peanuts’ Lucy Van Pelt (but nicer) with a “Paper Doll is In” stand. 😉
Wow, wonderful idea! good luck with your new venture! looking forward to reading it!
Thanks, Lisa. I’ll wait to see how many questions I get, but the nice thing about a recurring feature is that it can ebb and flow. Hopefully it will make for some fun Monday mornings!
Congratulations on your Megastar Blogger status! I love that you are going to do an Ask Paper Doll on the blog. I look forward to reading it. Thanks for including me in your post as well. You are the best!
Haha, no, Sabrina — I’m the Bestry! ?
And thanks!
What can I say? I love the way you write with such passion, humor, and expertise. You will be and are the quintessential “Ask Paper Doll” star. I have to admit that I’ve always loved reading advice columns on an assortment of topics. There’s something so human and personal about sharing our struggles. Then there is that surprise of someone else taking the 30,000-foot view and getting to the heart of the issue and offering up a potential solution. I’m excited for you and that you’re leaning into your natural gift and love of sharing your expertise.
Congratulations on becoming a Megastar Blogger. I’m thrilled to be with you in the company of our other colleagues and appreciate your kind mention.
Awww, Linda, you’re lovely. Thank you for all of your kind words! I’m going to print your comment and put it on my fridge!
What a fun idea – I too was a Dear Abby and Ann Landers fan growing up…those columns plus the horoscope, I’m sure, have made me the wise woman I am today (sarcasm intended). Seriously, it will be fascinating to see what kinds of questions are asked, and I’m excited to read your most excellent advice!
I’m eager to hear what you learned from your horoscope. (I couldn’t remember the advice columnist from the teen magazines; I don’t think Seventeen’s had a name, and Jane and Sassy were slightly after my time.) I’m excited about answering questions rather than trying to come up with new ideas all the time; when answering, I can stay firmly on the path and be less inclined to wander into discursive curlicues!
Oh my goodness, the little “Mom said…” story at the end! Such an effective, guilt-inducing (but also sweet and for all the right reasons) way to teach a child to put their things away where they belong!
Hey, Hazel, you know Paper Mommy! She made sure I treated everyone with respect and compassion, even if that person was a pair of party shoes. 😉
“You just can’t shut me up!” __Julie Bestry
Julie, you crack me up. I loved this post and look forward to hearing all the questions people submit. I’m thinking since you love talking so much, maybe you’ll have a YouTube video series.
In addition to Dear Abby, I adored Hints From Heloise, too.
I crack you up? “I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to f***in’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how?” LOL.
I’m so glad you liked it, Geralin; that’s how I know I’m on the right track! Hints From Heloise! Absolutely. She really liked her lemon juice.
“the Q&A portions of the event have sometimes lasted longer than the presentations themselves, and more than once, I’ve continued holding forth as attendees followed me to my car.”
I LOVE this – They followed you to your car! Don’t bury that testimonial, it sums it all up – now they can read your Q & A column too. I could see this being a hugely successful stand alone blog/newsletter/whatever the kids are doing these days too.
Looking forward!
Substack. The cool kids use Substack. I may get there. It’s still early in 2021. 🙂
Congratulations on all your media engagements. You are really starting off 2021 busy.
Thanks! I’m taking whatever wins where I can find them. This year requires an attitude adjustment after last year. Whatever we can make better is worth trying, eh?
YES!!! What a fantastic idea. I’m excited to see “best of” recaps as you tackle the world’s organizing conundrums. It’ll, no doubt, be cheeky and helpful in the best ways possible.
Cheeky? Who, me? 😉
“Dear Julie, 20 years is quite an accomplishment. What did you imagine yourself doing 20 years ago? What’s the best advice you can give to those just starting and want to quick start their careers?”
This was so fun and you are funny! Yep, I remember Dear Abby. I even wrote to her when I was about 12. Her advice was the complete opposite of my mom’s, which I found hilarious. Now I know who to reach out to when I am betwixt and between, when I already know the answer but I’m going to ask for advice anyway, until I get the answer I want.
LOL. I never thought of answering professional organizing questions, but I’m open to that. And 20 years ago, I was a television executive, and I was mostly miserable, and couldn’t even imagine what I was going to do with the rest of my life. When I left television and decided to do this, it was a toss-up between professional organizing (when I found out it was a career) and writing. And lookie! I found a way to do both!
And I’m glad Abby gave you the advice you wanted! 😉